Starting a journal to keep summaries of girls I've met etc and keep my questions in one thread rather than starting new ones all the time.
My background is that I was useless with girls until I started reading PUA material around 7 years ago (26 now). It took me 2 years to start getting results (especially after moving on to learning from better resources like Girlschase) and I had 2.5 relatively decent years at Uni where I was happy with my progress and probably best period where I had 3 FWBs at same time on rotation. Then I got into a 2.5 years or so relationship that was a rollercoaster and ended 4 months ago. While I learned a lot, I wasted too much time on her as she was broken and just didn't want to change her life around. I on the other hand didn't have the strength to leave her until I finally digested all the red flags.
I had high hopes that getting back into the game would be easier given that I feel more confident now than ever but I'm currently in a trough. I have a temporary medical problem that doesn't want to go away which is making things harder but I no longer want to use it as an excuse so need to just keep on pushing.
Currently, I would say my biggest obstacles are
-Embracing my sexuality. I still feel in relationship mode. i.e. Unless I have a deep connection, I find it hard to feel or express desire or intimate intent. This comes off as incongruent or occasionally as inaction. I think I need to do some nofap to lower my expectations a little
- Calibrating my push-pull. I naturally over tease people and sometimes can come off as an entertainment monkey. I find many situations boring so I overtease to try and make it more fun for myself which is often a horrible strategy in life in general. Especially with girls who are bit more shy/not used to this. And even with people who are, I sometimes ask myself why was I so harsh. I've been trying to convert this to "us against the world" versus "us against eachother" which does get better reactions but instincts are hard to change. I do find learning girl's desires, passions and stories interesting so I try to deep dive into these topics but then I have this other problem of acting a bit like a psychologist rather than a lover haha. I need to stop trying to feed people all the self-help shit I've read (which works but most people already know, they just don't want to change).
- Becoming more masculine. It's hard to be taken serious if you are always trying to make fun of situations. I would say Im good at leading and solving problems but I need to actively use those skills and avoid just entertainment. It's crazy how much more effect strong eye contact that builds tension and a few well placed comments can have as compared to an extremely well flowing, humorous conversation. Both are good at times but the first definitely seem to have the bigger effect.
Currently I mostly meet girls from nightlife and I do social events which has constant influx of new girls. I do prefer day game and need to do more approaching as I think if I have more high quality options, will make it easier to get rid of my first obstacle. My logistics are ideal as I live on my own in the city centre and I got a chilled remote job so I really have no excuses for not being more successful.
My background is that I was useless with girls until I started reading PUA material around 7 years ago (26 now). It took me 2 years to start getting results (especially after moving on to learning from better resources like Girlschase) and I had 2.5 relatively decent years at Uni where I was happy with my progress and probably best period where I had 3 FWBs at same time on rotation. Then I got into a 2.5 years or so relationship that was a rollercoaster and ended 4 months ago. While I learned a lot, I wasted too much time on her as she was broken and just didn't want to change her life around. I on the other hand didn't have the strength to leave her until I finally digested all the red flags.
I had high hopes that getting back into the game would be easier given that I feel more confident now than ever but I'm currently in a trough. I have a temporary medical problem that doesn't want to go away which is making things harder but I no longer want to use it as an excuse so need to just keep on pushing.
Currently, I would say my biggest obstacles are
-Embracing my sexuality. I still feel in relationship mode. i.e. Unless I have a deep connection, I find it hard to feel or express desire or intimate intent. This comes off as incongruent or occasionally as inaction. I think I need to do some nofap to lower my expectations a little
- Calibrating my push-pull. I naturally over tease people and sometimes can come off as an entertainment monkey. I find many situations boring so I overtease to try and make it more fun for myself which is often a horrible strategy in life in general. Especially with girls who are bit more shy/not used to this. And even with people who are, I sometimes ask myself why was I so harsh. I've been trying to convert this to "us against the world" versus "us against eachother" which does get better reactions but instincts are hard to change. I do find learning girl's desires, passions and stories interesting so I try to deep dive into these topics but then I have this other problem of acting a bit like a psychologist rather than a lover haha. I need to stop trying to feed people all the self-help shit I've read (which works but most people already know, they just don't want to change).
- Becoming more masculine. It's hard to be taken serious if you are always trying to make fun of situations. I would say Im good at leading and solving problems but I need to actively use those skills and avoid just entertainment. It's crazy how much more effect strong eye contact that builds tension and a few well placed comments can have as compared to an extremely well flowing, humorous conversation. Both are good at times but the first definitely seem to have the bigger effect.
Currently I mostly meet girls from nightlife and I do social events which has constant influx of new girls. I do prefer day game and need to do more approaching as I think if I have more high quality options, will make it easier to get rid of my first obstacle. My logistics are ideal as I live on my own in the city centre and I got a chilled remote job so I really have no excuses for not being more successful.