- Joined
- May 23, 2022
- Messages
- 56
Hi
Just thought I'd segway from my field report here because it just dawned on me that a direct question may prevent unnecessary mistakes from occuring. So the deal is there is this cute lady who moved onto my apartment complex last week. She has a son who is at least 10 years old so she is a woman in her late 20's, maybe even early 30's. There is a good possibility she is a older than me by a few months to a few years (less than 8 years I suspect though).
Value/Perceived Value Roundup
In my field report I named her Clarise so I'll give a quick summary of what are my concerns as I interact with her:
- She owns a car (I think a Honda mini car). I don't own a car, in fact I ride my bicycle
- She moved into the vacant apartment side which has 1 bedroom, 1 living room area (which she has converted to a bedroom area hence no has living room area now)
- She has 2 king size beds one for her and the other for her son's room and a ton of furniture. I have a twin sized bed, desk, 1 chair and a wardrobe (very nice room setup but small area though as I outlined in the Mini Bachelor Pad Tips post.
- She a large fridge (with ice maker) and a nice kitchen area (large dishdrain, cupboards, chairs). I on the other hand do not have a kitchen area and frankly I rarely cook so I only have a plug in stove which I can easily store under my bed when not in use. And I only use it once per week for the most part.
- She has a job which I can tell pays way more than I currently earn. Based on her entire setup, I'd guess she earns double or triple what I currently earn.
......................................
Maybe I'm just overthinking stuff. But whenever I meet a woman who has more going for themselves than I do, I immediately proceed with caution. It's a big insecurity and while this lady Clarise has been very nice since meeting me, I never really know how she perceives this. So while I am a very ambitious person (who could very well live a more modest life, I've chosen a more minimal lifestyle for now... but there is a twist. Because if it does turn out that this woman is around my same age and she has accomplished far more than I have, I'm going to feel insecure while interacting with her.
On the flip side, I've heard of millionaires who were minimalists and no one could tell the difference.
But in the case of speaking to women, there might be a caveat i.e.
- If I walked around like a bum, no fashion sense, then a woman can take that at face value to say this man is possibly low value
- If I choose not to take haircuts, then a woman would be right to assume I don't take care about my appearance. It does not matter if my reasoning is I'm saving $50 per haircut / $200 per month to invest in some new business. Yeah ambitious but only I know that, she does not.
So same with these 2 examples above, I'm wondering if anyone has any experience not caring about perceived value vs. real actual value when dating women who seem to have it more figured out in life.
Thanks
PeacockMan
Just thought I'd segway from my field report here because it just dawned on me that a direct question may prevent unnecessary mistakes from occuring. So the deal is there is this cute lady who moved onto my apartment complex last week. She has a son who is at least 10 years old so she is a woman in her late 20's, maybe even early 30's. There is a good possibility she is a older than me by a few months to a few years (less than 8 years I suspect though).
Value/Perceived Value Roundup
In my field report I named her Clarise so I'll give a quick summary of what are my concerns as I interact with her:
- She owns a car (I think a Honda mini car). I don't own a car, in fact I ride my bicycle
- She moved into the vacant apartment side which has 1 bedroom, 1 living room area (which she has converted to a bedroom area hence no has living room area now)
- She has 2 king size beds one for her and the other for her son's room and a ton of furniture. I have a twin sized bed, desk, 1 chair and a wardrobe (very nice room setup but small area though as I outlined in the Mini Bachelor Pad Tips post.
- She a large fridge (with ice maker) and a nice kitchen area (large dishdrain, cupboards, chairs). I on the other hand do not have a kitchen area and frankly I rarely cook so I only have a plug in stove which I can easily store under my bed when not in use. And I only use it once per week for the most part.
- She has a job which I can tell pays way more than I currently earn. Based on her entire setup, I'd guess she earns double or triple what I currently earn.
......................................
Maybe I'm just overthinking stuff. But whenever I meet a woman who has more going for themselves than I do, I immediately proceed with caution. It's a big insecurity and while this lady Clarise has been very nice since meeting me, I never really know how she perceives this. So while I am a very ambitious person (who could very well live a more modest life, I've chosen a more minimal lifestyle for now... but there is a twist. Because if it does turn out that this woman is around my same age and she has accomplished far more than I have, I'm going to feel insecure while interacting with her.
On the flip side, I've heard of millionaires who were minimalists and no one could tell the difference.
But in the case of speaking to women, there might be a caveat i.e.
- If I walked around like a bum, no fashion sense, then a woman can take that at face value to say this man is possibly low value
- If I choose not to take haircuts, then a woman would be right to assume I don't take care about my appearance. It does not matter if my reasoning is I'm saving $50 per haircut / $200 per month to invest in some new business. Yeah ambitious but only I know that, she does not.
So same with these 2 examples above, I'm wondering if anyone has any experience not caring about perceived value vs. real actual value when dating women who seem to have it more figured out in life.
Thanks
PeacockMan
