FR Perfect-looking interaction with approach invite -> blocked?! 😂

[DarkJedi]

Ok, this seemed to me such a perfect interaction from start to end. I even set the date while being with her, which I forget a lot of times. BUT I got blocked?! I was so surprised I actually laughed when I realized she blocked me

Overall I thought it was good, but might have had some hiccups which I might have missed. So, writing with as much details as possible. Apologies for the long post!

Approach​

Was getting out of a train and into my city train station during lunch hour. I was in a chill playful headspace, nonchalant.

Spotted a cute blonde sitting on a bench in the waiting area. Lots of people sitting around her, but her face looked receptive. I saw a guy pass by her bench and I noticed she checked him out, the guy was oblivious lol. Passed by her bench with a slow sexy walk and out of my peripherals saw that she checked me out as well. Good! I could feel she would be receptive to my approach.

Gathered myself for a few moments and breezed in, sat beside her without looking at her and turned towards her the next second with a slight smile: hey!
She smiled back (in my experience these always go well) and took her earphone out.

DJ: So.. I gotta go soon, gotta get back to working... but...(I smile wider, HB does the same)... I saw you, and you had the most chill and cute expression on your face...
HB: (smiles more) Yeah?
DJ: Yeah, so I decided to spare 5 more minutes and see what's up, let the universe do its thing

Looks a bit corny when I write it, but I could sense she's a playful type and she took it really well.

We vibe, just being fun and bantery. I'm being very self-amused. She's waiting for the train which was canceled coz someone jumped on the tracks. Studies law. I tease her about it, saying she does not seem like the lawyer type at all. She turns a bit more towards me at some point, I mirror that.

Don't remember the whole conversation but it was all playful and light vibes, strong eye contact, and felt like we both were super comfortable in our presence. I wasn't feeling passive or stifled like in this FR. I was free, also was touching her here and there which she was pretty cool with.

Shit test

HB: So do you normally chat up girls in the train station?
DJ: Hahaha yeah all the time, but only sweet-looking lawyer chicks from X (where she's from)
HB: Hahaha ohh right!

I felt like this was more like an attraction shit test and not a comfort one, so I agreed and amplified, but might have been a problem?

I also qualified her a bit:

DJ: But yeah, I do feel you can sense what kind of a person someone is by their faces a lot of times. And you seemed a sweet, fun girl. Looks like my intuition wasn't too far off!
HB: Thanks! But I think I look like a bitch when I'm just idly sitting (takes out her phone and checks herself in her phone camera)
DJ: Hahahaha you? A bitch? You gotta try harder!

We keep on talking.

Age question

DJ: Did I ask you your name btw?
HB: Not yet
DJ: What's your name?
HB: HB
DJ: (shakes hand) I'm DJ
HB: How old are you?
DJ: Hahahaha is that the next question you ask after introductions?
HB: Hahaha yes, always
DJ: Guess
HB: Hmmm (looks at me for a few seconds) 26, 27?
DJ: A bit more, 29 (I lied, lost too many chicks coz of age and trying this now). How old are you?
HB: Guess?
DJ: twentyyyyy--threee?
HB: nope
DJ: 16?
HB hahaha what? nooo
DJ: 21
HB: yess
DJ: Ahh I was close the first time
HB: yeah true

I don't know if this was a problem for her. Girls in this country balk at even 5 year differences when they're 21 (more feminism, less social acceptability of age gaps probably, unlike more eastern countries). But also ime, when they suspect an age gap girls here ask your age outright and reject you outright.

She seemed slightly disengaged for a few seconds after this, looked at her phone and re-engaged while I was still rambling (I'm probably overanalyzing)

We keep on talking and I continue being self-amusing.

She seemed pretty into it all still. Mentioned once or twice she loved my dry humour.

Closing​

DJ: So, I really gotta go now. Can't keep you company for the rest of your wait. But, we should get a drink some other time
HB: Sure!
DJ: Perfect. You got whatsapp?
HB: I do have whatsapp yeah?
DJ: (gives her his phone) Well, put in your digits then
HB: (saves her name) You should call me, to make sure its a real number
DJ: Hahaha I was not doubting you, but now I gotta call you to make sure

Called so that she got my number.

Now maybe a hint of what was to come later:

DJ: So do you normally give out a lot of fake numbers?
HB: No, I just give my number and block them (smiles)
DJ: Ohh really? Well I don't think that's gonna happen in this case
HB: Why do you think so?
DJ: (pause, strong eye contact, slight smirk) Just a feeling, and from how your face looked when I approached you
HB: (smiles and nods slightly)

Then I decided I should set a date

DJ: So, see you in the coming days.
HB: Yes, let's do that
DJ: Wait, what are you doing this Sunday?
HB: (pulls out her phone to check her calendar)
DJ: Hahaha of course you and your little agendas
HB: Hahaha yeah. On Sunday my girls are coming over

She keeps on looking at the calendar, so I sneak a peek and say "Can I have a look?". She says sure!
So we look together, we're sitting even closer.

HB: So, look. Saturday we might have something
DJ: I see "work"
HB: Yes but I start at 5
DJ: Till?
HB: Do you know what this means? -> pointing to something in her calendar in the local language
DJ: Hmmm...closing time?
HB: Yes!! 9
DJ: owkay!
HB: But I'm free in the afternoon. We could have a drink.
DJ: Sure, we could do Saturday
HB: I just have to receive a package sometime, so we have to coordinate over text
DJ: Sure, we'll figure it out
HB: Perfect

Seemed like she was invested in making it happen and all was well.
I just did a friendly caress on her shoulder, said "ok, see you soon HB!"
"See you! and have a good day!"

Texting​

I saw on Whatsapp that her picture wasn't shown, so she hadn't saved my number. Checked 4-5 hours later and it was visible, so she did save it later. Which was a positive.
I texted her, with assumed familiarity:

DJ: Well, I hope there weren't any more "incidents" and you're back chilling at home by now!

I saw later that she'd read it and blocked me!

Takeaways​

I'm confused. Her vibe was great throughout, she invested in setting up the date, unless it was just her playing. I have some theories:

• Mostly light and attraction stuff happened. I didn't deep dive unlike other times, so maybe lack of enough connection? (I tend to focus on deep dives too much, tried to keep it light this time, and she seemed more of a fun happy girl)
• The age was an objection but she felt weird to mention it further out into the conversation
• Did I give a player vibe? (I have been getting the "do you talk to every girl" question more lately, thrice this week)
• Did it seem too cocky to her when I said I know she won't block me and she was like "I'll show you by blocking you as well"
• The frame was subtly hers. I did feel she had control of the frame at points, but didn't seem it was too skewed
• Need more tension?
• She was just flirting and liked the attention

 

[Spyce D]

When I first read AI , I thought AI bot blocked you

 

[gameboy]

What"s AI? I didnt get it either.

As for why she blocked you, impossible to know. Could be anything. Best to move on and fimd more girls (easier said than done, i know haha)

 

[DarkJedi]

What"s AI? I didnt get it either.

Approach invite. Her checking me out. Updated the title now

Best to move on and fimd more girls (easier said than done, i know haha)

Yeah I know. I'm not that concerned about this girl specifically, though she was proper hot haha. I see this as a sticking point (approach->date) as I've mentioned in the sticking point thread, and would like to drill down to why.

On a good day I can do approaches smoothly and get warm initial receptions. Interactions seem to run good. Get numbers. But then they don't convert, and its frustrating. This one was especially weird coz the vibe was fun and flirty throughout.

Makes me wonder if I'm missing a very specific piece of the puzzle. Maybe vibe, frame or fundamentals.

 

[DarkKnight]

Makes me wonder if I'm missing a very specific piece of the puzzle. Maybe vibe, frame or fundamentals.

Not necessarily. I get a lot of "fake" approach invitations as well. I believe that when you up your fundies or get more preselection you also get unavailable girls who are vying for your attention because it is "fun". Meanwhile some demure girl who is intimidated doesnt send any sign at all while being very interested in you (sometimes you can read it in their bodylanguage or vibe)

So it is just important to screen for compliance and not think you are messing up all the time. I recall I had made this venting thread where I didn't trust AIs anymore, because some girl who gave me big signs threw walls and apparently she had a boyfriend after stealing an hour of my time.. light side was that other hotter girls started to vy for my attention because they were insulted I went for the (in their eyes) "lesser girl".

AI for my part is curiosity or excitement from their part, not a done deal yet. This is why I get extra annoyed with these types and next them faster when I notice this evading shenenigans. We men grossly underestimate what these chicks do for attention and attention alone.

 

[Will_V]

Ok, this seemed to me such a perfect interaction from start to end. I even set the date while being with her, which I forget a lot of times. BUT I got blocked?! I was so surprised I actually laughed when I realized she blocked me

Overall I thought it was good, but might have had some hiccups which I might have missed. So, writing with as much details as possible. Apologies for the long post!

Approach​

Was getting out of a train and into my city train station during lunch hour. I was in a chill playful headspace, nonchalant.

Spotted a cute blonde sitting on a bench in the waiting area. Lots of people sitting around her, but her face looked receptive. I saw a guy pass by her bench and I noticed she checked him out, the guy was oblivious lol. Passed by her bench with a slow sexy walk and out of my peripherals saw that she checked me out as well. Good! I could feel she would be receptive to my approach.

Gathered myself for a few moments and breezed in, sat beside her without looking at her and turned towards her the next second with a slight smile: hey!
She smiled back (in my experience these always go well) and took her earphone out.

Looks a bit corny when I write it, but I could sense she's a playful type and she took it really well.

We vibe, just being fun and bantery. I'm being very self-amused. She's waiting for the train which was canceled coz someone jumped on the tracks. Studies law. I tease her about it, saying she does not seem like the lawyer type at all. She turns a bit more towards me at some point, I mirror that.

Don't remember the whole conversation but it was all playful and light vibes, strong eye contact, and felt like we both were super comfortable in our presence. I wasn't feeling passive or stifled like in this FR. I was free, also was touching her here and there which she was pretty cool with.

Shit test

I felt like this was more like an attraction shit test and not a comfort one, so I agreed and amplified, but might have been a problem?

I also qualified her a bit:


We keep on talking.

Age question

I don't know if this was a problem for her. Girls in this country balk at even 5 year differences when they're 21 (more feminism, less social acceptability of age gaps probably, unlike more eastern countries). But also ime, when they suspect an age gap girls here ask your age outright and reject you outright.

She seemed slightly disengaged for a few seconds after this, looked at her phone and re-engaged while I was still rambling (I'm probably overanalyzing)

We keep on talking and I continue being self-amusing.

She seemed pretty into it all still. Mentioned once or twice she loved my dry humour.

Closing​

Called so that she got my number.

Now maybe a hint of what was to come later:

Then I decided I should set a date

She keeps on looking at the calendar, so I sneak a peek and say "Can I have a look?". She says sure!
So we look together, we're sitting even closer.

Seemed like she was invested in making it happen and all was well.
I just did a friendly caress on her shoulder, said "ok, see you soon HB!"
"See you! and have a good day!"

Texting​

I saw on Whatsapp that her picture wasn't shown, so she hadn't saved my number. Checked 4-5 hours later and it was visible, so she did save it later. Which was a positive.
I texted her, with assumed familiarity:

I saw later that she'd read it and blocked me!

Takeaways​

I'm confused. Her vibe was great throughout, she invested in setting up the date, unless it was just her playing. I have some theories:

• Mostly light and attraction stuff happened. I didn't deep dive unlike other times, so maybe lack of enough connection? (I tend to focus on deep dives too much, tried to keep it light this time, and she seemed more of a fun happy girl)
• The age was an objection but she felt weird to mention it further out into the conversation
• Did I give a player vibe? (I have been getting the "do you talk to every girl" question more lately, thrice this week)
• Did it seem too cocky to her when I said I know she won't block me and she was like "I'll show you by blocking you as well"
• The frame was subtly hers. I did feel she had control of the frame at points, but didn't seem it was too skewed
• Need more tension?
• She was just flirting and liked the attention

Seems possible that you're overproviding good feelings. I was guilty of this at one point and it made phone numbers very flaky. So if that's so a bit more tension and ups and downs in the interaction will help.

Your qualification of her as a 'sweet, fun girl' is simply not very unique or substantial, so even if it's true it's not going to stick. And she even sort of rejected it. Sounds like she would have preferred to be told she had a bitch face lol.

Always best to find something as unique as possible even if it's a small thing.

It feels like the end of the interaction went south, like she was maybe stalling and trying to figure out how she felt about everything while you were ploughing ahead with humor, and maybe you came off overinvested and trying too hard? Her complimenting you on your humor sounds a bit like she felt like she was getting too much unearned reward and was trying to balance things out.

Lastly the text, man I've been there so many times, when it's hard to come up with a good text it's so tempting to send some overpositive text about something mundane that not even her mum would send her. So nowadays when I feel that way I try to find something at least a little bit teasing or edgy just so I don't have to go through the ghosting again (or if I do, at least I have more fun that way!).

 

[DarkJedi]

I believe that when you up your fundies or get more preselection you also get unavailable girls who are vying for your attention because it is "fun".

We men grossly underestimate what these chicks do for attention and attention alone.

Argh yeah makes sense. Have seen this way more in my travels in Eastern Europe. Girls texting you non-stop, going on instant dates too, and then mentioning they have bf's when you make a move. In my experience, where I live, girls are more direct and usually shut you down fast when not single. But you never know with those exceptions!

So it is just important to screen for compliance and not think you are messing up all the time

Fair. I need to keep compliance in mind. How else can I screen for compliance in this situation, besides asking her to move somewhere with me (didn't do that coz I was really pressed for time)?

light side was that other hotter girls started to vy for my attention because they were insulted I went for the (in their eyes) "lesser girl".

 

[TomInHo]

Tbh this is just random

I wouldn’t put anymore thought into it because girls sometimes do random things for absolutely no reason

I’ve had interactions with girls where it seemed so “on” then later they ghost. And have also had interactions where it felt “average” and they come out on a date and we bang

Sure, you can control somethings in a seduction but girls will sometimes do retarded things you can’t explain or predict

As long as you’re getting laid in the big picture and this is not happening with every girl… don’t sweat it

 

[DarkJedi]

Seems possible that you're overproviding good feelings. I was guilty of this at one point and it made phone numbers very flaky. So if that's so a bit more tension and ups and downs in the interaction will help.

I have a suspicion of this as well. Even though it was fun and cool and non-needy, it was clear I liked her. There were no barriers, not much tension except in certain parts. She was basking in the good vibes without having to work for it. I was probably more invested than her.

I've been experimenting with different vibes and its tough to balance and calibrate, man. More low-key seductive vibes sometimes work very well, but many times come out to be boring to certain girls, or even creepy.

It also depends on the girl I suppose. I've laid girls with even more happy vibes and just escalating. But I guess I had more investment from them. Some girls can handle more tension, some can't. Would be great to be better at sensing these things on the fly and adapting.

Lastly the text, man I've been there so many times, when it's hard to come up with a good text it's so tempting to send some overpositive text about something mundane that not even her mum would send her. So nowadays when I feel that way I try to find something at least a little bit teasing or edgy just so I don't have to go through the ghosting again (or if I do, at least I have more fun that way!).

Lol I get you. I hate icebreaker texts with a passion.

 

[Rakehell]

Tbh this is just random

I wouldn’t put anymore thought into it because girls sometimes do random things for absolutely no reason

I’ve had interactions with girls where it seemed so “on” then later they ghost. And have also had interactions where it felt “average” and they come out on a date and we bang

Sure, you can control somethings in a seduction but girls will sometimes do retarded things you can’t explain or predict

As long as you’re getting laid in the big picture and this is not happening with every girl… don’t sweat it

This, don’t change anything. Ice breaker text was weak, but not why she blocked you.

Next time a girl tells you she does something that seems kinda weird to say or smells like a future hurdle, ask her why. Like when she said she doesn’t give out fake numbers she just blocks afterward.

Will give you a better understanding of the kind of person ur dealing with and allow you to have more control beforehand.

 

[DarkJedi]

Next time a girl tells you she does something that seems kinda weird to say or smells like a future hurdle, ask her why. Like when she said she doesn’t give out fake numbers she just blocks afterward.

Cool, that's a good tip! Will also put a bit of pressure on her which should be good

 

[Atlas IV]

Agree with @TomInHo and @Rakehell. Unless it's a pattern and girls are consistently blocking you, it's not about your game.

Sometimes girls just do 180s for no apparent reason. It could be a million things - she could actually have a boyfriend who she is considering leaving, and she felt excited by the conversation with you, but then her rational brain kicked in after you left. It's hardly even worth speculating on tbh.

Still, it's pretty weird that she told you she gives out her real number to guys and then blocks them. Sounds like a narcissistic trait, in which case I think you dodged a bullet.

 

[Rakehell]

Will also put a bit of pressure on her which should be good

Yup forcing her to qualify, can say something like “Damn I didn’t know you were so cold”, which puts pressure on her to elaborate if that isn’t her intent. “No no no, it’s just that”, Like she just lost you.

If she shrugs it off, agrees, or doesn’t qualify into it then she’s either teasing/flirting, or being dead serious. All depends on her delivery.

If she qualifies then relate to her, and give her an out to allow things to progress.

If she doesn’t but it feels like she’s flirting, handle it how you did. If she doesn’t but feels like she’s actually being cold, can still close but the attraction probably isn't there, so uphill battle.

 

[Will_V]

I have a suspicion of this as well. Even though it was fun and cool and non-needy, it was clear I liked her. There were no barriers, not much tension except in certain parts. She was basking in the good vibes without having to work for it. I was probably more invested than her.

I think especially in view of the fact that you didn't qualify her very strongly, this vibe made her feel like she was the recipient of a smooth pickup attempt. You can see the bubble start to get very weak toward the end.

Qualification is super important, especially in terms of how she feels after the approach. The way I see it, every girl feels insecure after a cold approach - why did he come over? Does he do that often? Does he actually like me? Is he going to stalk me? Etc. Her default is to want to get rid of the number and get on with her life and not have to deal with those questions. What makes it possible for her to take risks is feeling that there is something real underneath it all. Women yearn to feel desired, they will take all kinds of risks to receive that validation, but they know that not every desire from a man is real.

As far as blocking goes, the way I see it a girl usually blocks either when a guy is being aggressive or creepy (clearly not the case here) or where she feels cognitive dissonance - a part of her is compelled while another part of her is unsure/anxious - and she does it to close the door hard, as much for herself as for him. If she simply finds him uninteresting or he becomes way too attainable, she'll typically just ghost.

I've been experimenting with different vibes and its tough to balance and calibrate, man. More low-key seductive vibes sometimes work very well, but many times come out to be boring to certain girls, or even creepy.

Yeah its tough, it's not easy at all to calibrate. Some girls are already ready to take any opportunity to escape the mundaneness of their life, and all they need is an adventurer to take them by the hand.

Some other girls (and I suspect this one was one of these) live already a very well-ordered and high-quality life, and they tend to look outward from that with some sense of apprehension at anything that doesn't seem to be a natural part of that lifestyle, even if they are drawn in some sense toward it. Unless they are really having an identity crisis, these sort of girls tend to need a guy who comes across as not very eccentric (so as not to trigger that anxiety), but who is nonetheless a strong leader and able to introduce her slowly to the things she wants to do but is afraid of.

It's of course entirely possible that like the guys here are saying she just happened for some random reason to decide 'no', but I think an interaction that feels like it went swimmingly, and is then followed by getting blocked, is worth studying to see what is interesting about it.