Forum Feedback Placing Limits on Newbies

[Will_V]

His opener suggestion ("can i give you a compliment") helped me a lot. it's gold for guys with bad approach anxiety in certain situations. I've been using it very frequently. Who knows what other gold he could've shared. Plus as you mentioned, he was taking lots of action and sharing the experience. I find that very valuable. More valuable than guys who have no experiences to share.

Like Skills said it's asking for permission. The problem is many women will probably say "yees?" (because why not?) but it puts you firmly in nice guy territory. So it seems like you're doing great but it's not really helping.

The problem I had with @average_daygamer's stuff was that it's clear that:

- He found it difficult to navigate social situations, probably due to his aspergers.
- As a result of this, he would get negative reactions from people who mistook his confusion for pushiness, or something like that.
- As a result of that, he carried around a lot of fears about getting rumbled in some way by girls or security or whoever.

Instead of understanding that ok, his social ability was comparatively low, and that was the reason for the negative reactions, he'd get on threads implying that you have to be super careful about XYZ or something bad is going to happen.

This creates a culture of fear, and that's the last thing that new guys, who wouldn't get those negative reactions in the first place, need to worry about.

The whole boogeyman about approaching underage girls is a prime example. Every five seconds he was referring to this fear, which seems to have arisen because one time he'd approached some girls and they pretended to be thirteen or something to mess with him.

I've approached girls who turned out to be underage quite a few times. I never got a bad reaction that I can remember. They reacted exactly the same way older girls do.

Have girls tried to mess with me sometimes? Sure! But I don't take it very seriously. I know who I am and what I want and no random girl is going to put me off of it.

Besides this @average_daygamer seems to have a bit of a short fuse, both in real life (e.g. talking about fighting security at clubs) and in his reactions to replies on the forum. He's a guy who has definitely not found success yet, who has been getting TONS of attention and help here, and so this attitude is completely out of line. And it's just more evidence that he's not good at self-evaluation, which is the root of his difficulties.

Now that it's clear that other guys here are getting fed up, I think his ban was completely warranted and necessary.

The status quo for doing well on this forum is very clear:

- Have a positive can-do attitude.
- Be ready to learn (it's not reddit or twitter).
- Don't get argumentative, especially with guys who know a lot more (and get laid a lot more) than you.
- Try stuff out all the time and see for yourself what works and what doesn't.

This is a place for guys who have decided that yes, seduction works, and yes, I can get laid, and it's just a matter of finding out what I'm doing wrong and what I can do better. Anyone who is not in this camp will not last long here.

 

[Skills]

Like Skills said it's asking for permission. The problem is many women will probably say "yees?" (because why not?) but it puts you firmly in nice guy territory. So it seems like you're doing great but it's not really helping.

The problem I had with @average_daygamer's stuff was that it's clear that:

- He found it difficult to navigate social situations, probably due to his aspergers.
- As a result of this, he would get negative reactions from people who mistook his confusion for pushiness, or something like that.
- As a result of that, he carried around a lot of fears about getting rumbled in some way by girls or security or whoever.

Instead of understanding that ok, his social ability was comparatively low, and that was the reason for the negative reactions, he'd get on threads implying that you have to be super careful about XYZ or something bad is going to happen.

This creates a culture of fear, and that's the last thing that new guys, who wouldn't get those negative reactions in the first place, need to worry about.

The whole boogeyman about approaching underage girls is a prime example. Every five seconds he was referring to this fear, which seems to have arisen because one time he'd approached some girls and they pretended to be thirteen or something to mess with him.

I've approached girls who turned out to be underage quite a few times. I never got a bad reaction that I can remember. They reacted exactly the same way older girls do.

Have girls tried to mess with me sometimes? Sure! But I don't take it very seriously. I know who I am and what I want and no random girl is going to put me off of it.

Besides this @average_daygamer seems to have a bit of a short fuse, both in real life (e.g. talking about fighting security at clubs) and in his reactions to replies on the forum. He's a guy who has definitely not found success yet, who has been getting TONS of attention and help here, and so this attitude is completely out of line. And it's just more evidence that he's not good at self-evaluation, which is the root of his difficulties.

Now that it's clear that other guys here are getting fed up, I think his ban was completely warranted and necessary.

The status quo for doing well on this forum is very clear:

- Have a positive can-do attitude.
- Be ready to learn (it's not reddit or twitter).
- Don't get argumentative, especially with guys who know a lot more (and get laid a lot more) than you.
- Try stuff out all the time and see for yourself what works and what doesn't.

This is a place for guys who have decided that yes, seduction works, and yes, I can get laid, and it's just a matter of finding out what I'm doing wrong and what I can do better. Anyone who is not in this camp will not last long here.

dude needed coaching with someone that can deal with that type of ptsd type of guy... Someone like cody lyons... cosy(if he still around)... dude is what we called a hard case...

 

[Will_V]

dude needed coaching with someone that can deal with that type of ptsd type of guy... Someone like cody lyons... cosy(if he still around)... dude is what we called a hard case...

I dunno if he had ptsd, I think he simply couldn't understand social situations, but wasn't aware of or willing to accept this. Instead he placed the blame on other people when they reacted badly to him, and went around frustrated.

Not only that, but he'd come onto threads implying that everyone has to be careful of XYZ, or that all girls are a certain way, and who wants to go in and dismantle these notions? I don't.

When you do something wrong, either the world teaches you, or if you're lucky, someone more experienced teaches you first. It seems like neither of those was working, because his ego wouldn't let it. I don't know what to do in those cases. I'm not sure any coach would be interested in dealing with that either.

Anyway, I hope he eventually learns and succeeds. But egotistical ignorance is a really bad thing to carry around with you. Not only does it wreck your own results, but it drives away the people who could help you. It's up to him whether he wants to get rid of it or not. But it's not the sort of thing we need around here.