- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,484
One of our new members had a post over in relationships where he was asking for input on some of the beliefs he held about women that he recognized were not especially helpful. I see these pop up from time to time around the boards, so think it's worth having a general post addressing them.
Poisonous Beliefs About Women
Some harmful, unhelpful beliefs about women include:
Women only want...
Women on the street / in the store / at the club...
Women are all...
If You Have Poisonous Beliefs About Women
... you need to change your actions and/or environments.
Most of the people I meet who have poisonous beliefs about women either:
For most men, poisonous beliefs are changed when you change the environment you're meeting women in (and get out of poisonous environments you find yourself in that color your views about women in a negative way), and when you start actively cultivating meaningful relationships with sane, normal (e.g., non-party girls / online daters / crazy chicks) women.
For a select few, the baggage is so bad that it taints every interaction and relationship the guy has, and the only way to fix that is by addressing the core problems of bitterness and victimization - if you suspect that might be the case for you, read these articles:
Most of all, keep this in mind: any form of negative beliefs or bad thoughts means you're dealing with frustration and repression. The object mentally is to end up at a place of calmness and contentedness, where you truly understand the thing you formerly had poisonous beliefs about that messed up your Zen (in this case, beliefs about women), and you're able to embrace the thing, be unsurprised by its quirks, and love it with these or in spite of these.
Do you love women? Do you think they are funny, cute, and adorable, even when they are doing the things that piss most men off and make those men tear their hair out and gnash their teeth?
If so, you're in a very good place.
If not, don't worry - everyone who opens his eyes goes through a period of painful adjustment, but you're on the road there.
Chase
Poisonous Beliefs About Women
Some harmful, unhelpful beliefs about women include:
Women only want...
- White guys / black guys / whatever guys
- Rich men who will buy them stuff
- Broke vagabond losers with nothing to their names
- Gorgeous, Adonis-like men
- Hollywood celebrities
- Men over 6'5" (or whatever height you aren't)
- Men with giant anaconda penises
- Any fill-in-the-blank thing that you yourself are not or don't have
Women on the street / in the store / at the club...
- Don't want to be bothered
- Are too busy to talk to anyone
- Will only talk to you if you're perfect
- Will blow you out if your approach is not perfect
- All have boyfriends and are off the market
- Some other reason that precludes approaching
Women are all...
- Attention whores / status harpies
- Cheaters and unfaithful
- Liars, scoundrels, and thieves
- Bitter, tormented feminists who hate men
- Emotionally manipulative puppet masters
- Parasitic creatures that feed off men
- (insert slight implying women are bad, bad people)
If You Have Poisonous Beliefs About Women
... you need to change your actions and/or environments.
Most of the people I meet who have poisonous beliefs about women either:
- Never actually MEET any women and truly interact with them (all their views come from other men / websites / articles / etc.)
- Keep meeting the same kinds of women in the same environments again and again and not realizing that that's the problem
- Continually put their baggage onto women and turn women into exactly what they fear / suspect women are
For most men, poisonous beliefs are changed when you change the environment you're meeting women in (and get out of poisonous environments you find yourself in that color your views about women in a negative way), and when you start actively cultivating meaningful relationships with sane, normal (e.g., non-party girls / online daters / crazy chicks) women.
For a select few, the baggage is so bad that it taints every interaction and relationship the guy has, and the only way to fix that is by addressing the core problems of bitterness and victimization - if you suspect that might be the case for you, read these articles:
- Most Important Thing to Becoming a Lover of Women? Don't Be Bitter.
- How Victim Mentality Can Stifle Your Life – and Luck with Women
Most of all, keep this in mind: any form of negative beliefs or bad thoughts means you're dealing with frustration and repression. The object mentally is to end up at a place of calmness and contentedness, where you truly understand the thing you formerly had poisonous beliefs about that messed up your Zen (in this case, beliefs about women), and you're able to embrace the thing, be unsurprised by its quirks, and love it with these or in spite of these.
Do you love women? Do you think they are funny, cute, and adorable, even when they are doing the things that piss most men off and make those men tear their hair out and gnash their teeth?
If so, you're in a very good place.
If not, don't worry - everyone who opens his eyes goes through a period of painful adjustment, but you're on the road there.
Chase