Potential gym pickup

[AJAK]

Greeting's fella's. Glad to be apart of this forum. I would like some assistance for a potential gym pickup. I would also like to state that i'm completely new to this and this is why i'm asking for help.

Some insight into what has happened until now.

I'm not a bad looking guy and I guess getting my body into shape has only made me more attractive.

There is a girl at the gym who I guess has been checking me out for a few months. It was all subtle like once she was walking towards the gym exit when she suddenly turned around quickly and darted a look at me.

Last week, she made it very clear. I was sitting on the leg extension machine resting between sets when she goes and sits on the leg press machine. Now, from the leg press machine she has to lean forward in order to see me which she does. I stare at the space waiting for her to do it and when she noticed that I caught her, she immediately moves back.

Still on the leg extension machine, she gets up and moves onto the adductor machine which is directly in my line of sight. She then proceeds to turn her head towards me and hard stare me for 6-8 seconds. MY heart was racing at this point and I was caught off guard. I thought to myself that I need to approach her but I didn't.

Next time I saw her in the gym (a week later) I approached. I waited for her to finish warming up on the elliptical machine and I guess I caught her off guard because she had a confused look on her face. After she removed her earbuds, I greeted her and ask her how she was doing and introduced myself. She then said her name, smiled, offered her hand and said nice to meet you. Then she abruptly walked away and began doing her workout. The exchange lasted not even 10 seconds.

She is not very social in the gym, stony faced and seems to be very reserved. She comes in, does her workout and then leaves without saying anything to anybody.

Since I have been paying attention (since she stared at me), i've only been able to observe her coming to the gym on Thursday. I could swear she used to come to the gym more often, or maybe she comes on different times on different days.

I'm not sure how to proceed with this. I would appreciate advice from more experienced fellas.

 

[MrVariety]

Stop obsessing about one girl. You should be meeting new girls every day. I hope you do and realize how much mental energy you put into over analyzing this girl is ridiculous.

MV

 

[Will_V]

Greeting's fella's. Glad to be apart of this forum. I would like some assistance for a potential gym pickup. I would also like to state that i'm completely new to this and this is why i'm asking for help.

Some insight into what has happened until now.

I'm not a bad looking guy and I guess getting my body into shape has only made me more attractive.

There is a girl at the gym who I guess has been checking me out for a few months. It was all subtle like once she was walking towards the gym exit when she suddenly turned around quickly and darted a look at me.

Last week, she made it very clear. I was sitting on the leg extension machine resting between sets when she goes and sits on the leg press machine. Now, from the leg press machine she has to lean forward in order to see me which she does. I stare at the space waiting for her to do it and when she noticed that I caught her, she immediately moves back.

Still on the leg extension machine, she gets up and moves onto the adductor machine which is directly in my line of sight. She then proceeds to turn her head towards me and hard stare me for 6-8 seconds. MY heart was racing at this point and I was caught off guard. I thought to myself that I need to approach her but I didn't.

Next time I saw her in the gym (a week later) I approached. I waited for her to finish warming up on the elliptical machine and I guess I caught her off guard because she had a confused look on her face. After she removed her earbuds, I greeted her and ask her how she was doing and introduced myself. She then said her name, smiled, offered her hand and said nice to meet you. Then she abruptly walked away and began doing her workout. The exchange lasted not even 10 seconds.

She is not very social in the gym, stony faced and seems to be very reserved. She comes in, does her workout and then leaves without saying anything to anybody.

Since I have been paying attention (since she stared at me), i've only been able to observe her coming to the gym on Thursday. I could swear she used to come to the gym more often, or maybe she comes on different times on different days.

I'm not sure how to proceed with this. I would appreciate advice from more experienced fellas.

Welcome to the forum!

Be patient, don't give her too much attention while she's not talking to you, wait for another opportunity maybe for a situational opener and open her again.

Sounds like she might have been surprised and/or shy on your first approach. Important not to let too much silent staring/tension develop in places like the gym where you'll be seeing her regularly, or it can get a bit much for her.

 

[AJAK]

Stop obsessing about one girl. You should be meeting new girls every day. I hope you do and realize how much mental energy you put into over analyzing this girl is ridiculous.

MV

You're 100% right. Just because other girls don't give signals doesn't mean that I shouldn't talk to them. This is something that I need to address.

 

[AJAK]

Welcome to the forum!

Be patient, don't give her too much attention while she's not talking to you, wait for another opportunity maybe for a situational opener and open her again.

Sounds like she might have been surprised and/or shy on your first approach. Important not to let too much silent staring/tension develop in places like the gym where you'll be seeing her regularly, or it can get a bit much for her.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I kind of just appeared out of nowhere and it was kind of like an ambush. I felt that I needed to approach after what happened and was very eager.

Thanks for the advice. I will follow it as best I can.

 

[POB]

Welcome to the boards!

Gyms are a social environment, so you have to calibrate acordingly.
Usually there are 2 ways you can go about it:
- pick a single target, be social everytime you guys meet and, when the opportunity presents itself, get her on a date outside the gym (more friendly aproach);
- create a social bubble, then proceed to do social game, pick your girl(s) from that social circle (more advanced aproach);

That said, gyms are a notorious difficult place for beginners...there's almost NO margin for error there.
If you crash and burn, better to move out and go to another gym (and hope they don't label you as a stalker).
Err on the cautious side and you will be fine.

P.S. (there are 2-3 recent posts about gym game...you should search for them to get some ideas for your next aproach).

 

[POB]

Stop obsessing about one girl. You should be meeting new girls every day. I hope you do and realize how much mental energy you put into over analyzing this girl is ridiculous.

He is not obssessing...he likes that the girl has a small crush on him and is willing to make it happen.
Nothing wrong with that.

 

[MrVariety]

You're 100% right. Just because other girls don't give signals doesn't mean that I shouldn't talk to them. This is something that I need to address.

Anyways kudos to you for approaching her, almost nobody has the balls to do that.

I wrote a guide on how to pick up women at the gym if you're interested: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-little-guide-on-how-to-pick-up-girls-at-the-gym.30793/

Mr Variety

 

[MrVariety]

He is not obssessing...he likes that the girl has a small crush on him and is willing to make it happen.
Nothing wrong with that.

When someone keeps track of which weekdays a girl goes to the gym, and thinks of strategies to meet *her*, then I start to worry.

I wasn't there so I wouldn't know but when OP said she walked abruptly away within ten seconds of him approaching her, it's time to let her go. There's no need to push this one any further.

Studies have shown men have a tendency to think women are more interested than they really are - maybe evolution have shaped men to be blindfully optimistic, which has served to our advantage. But at certain times it's good to be aware that maybe she's just not that into you. The fact she "stared" at OP probably is a misread indicator of interest.

Mr Variety

 

[AJAK]

Welcome to the boards!

Gyms are a social environment, so you have to calibrate acordingly.
Usually there are 2 ways you can go about it:
- pick a single target, be social everytime you guys meet and, when the opportunity presents itself, get her on a date outside the gym (more friendly aproach);
- create a social bubble, then proceed to do social game, pick your girl(s) from that social circle (more advanced aproach);

That said, gyms are a notorious difficult place for beginners...there's almost NO margin for error there.
If you crash and burn, better to move out and go to another gym (and hope they don't label you as a stalker).
Err on the cautious side and you will be fine.

P.S. (there are 2-3 recent posts about gym game...you should search them to get some ideas for your next aproach).

Thanks for the advice!

My issue is that I have some social anxiety because of autism. I'm not severely autistic, just slightly and it effects my social skills.

I thought to myself that I have to conquer my social anxiety, otherwise i'm never going to be successful with women. I said to myself its time to get comfortable being uncomfortable and face the issue head on. It's time to stop using autism as an excuse.

I have improved my body composition immensely which has really helped my self confidence too. I recommend all men to do the same, it really makes a difference and that is why I have this new found enthusiasm to improve my social skills.

 

[AJAK]

I approached another girl (polish girl) today. This interaction went well. She was very receptive and asked me questions. She wanted to chat with me. I asked her how her workout was going to open and it was mostly small talk about the gym.

This one seems promising.

 

[AJAK]

Chatted to a decent looking girl yesterday. I saw that she was struggling to get the plate clips off the barbell so I helped her get them off and she appreciated that and we got chatting. I failed to get contact details from her but we had a nice chat. I knew I was probably going to fail going by what she saying beforehand but I still tried. You have to take rejection on the chin in this game.

And the other girl that I mentioned in the OP now avoids me She avoids to pass me when i'm facing towards her and takes another route, but when my back is facing towards her, she will pass.

 

[average_daygamer]

Gym game is my bugbear. It's the place where I see the most hottest chicks in one place other than the nightclub.

If I could find a consistent way to open in the gym, I would. I still rarely approach in the gym myself. It's very awkward to do without making an obvious beeline" towards the girl. Or badly faking being interested in certain equipment to get a glance at her to see if you find her attractive.

I have tried the way you are doing it, the trouble is you don't see them again or get muddled up with other girls who look similar.

My preferred approach in the gym is to open and attempt a close in the same interaction. That is also not awkward. What is awkward is building it up and up over all these little interactions.

I had a similar experience earlier this year. This chick left her overtop next to the squat rack when I was waiting for it, I took over the squat rack and took her top back to her, she thanked me and then took it back. Then as I was leaning on the railings part my through my workout she smiled and waved goodbye.

Then a couple of months after when I changed my training schedule, a girl, who may or may not have been her (I can't remember exactly what she looked like) tapped me on the shoulder as I was on one of the adjustable benches in front of the dumbbell rack and asked me "excuse me, I am not in the way here am I" and I said "No, that's fine" then proceeded to setup with a bench to do Bulgarian split squats at a 90 degree angle to me which seemed just slightly too close.

I didn't talk to her because I wasn't even sure it was the same chick who may or may not have been interested or that I may have even been imagining the whole thing.

So that is the problem with looking for "signs" is that they are so ambiguous and the more you think and try working them out, the more crazy stories your mind comes up with. In the scenario I described, to this day I am not sure if I imagined it or if it was even the same girl or someone else.

So yeah, gym approaches are awkward and very hit and miss. I am still trying to optimise ways to even get close to the girl and get a good look. If I could approach every gym session that would be great. But I am barely approaching there, because there is so much tension.

 

[James Cruse]

Like I've said previously about Gym seductions:

You're main goal is doing 'just enough' seduction get her & you outside the gym together (alone) - even if it's just talking near your car or her car.

It's better if you can go for a walk or to a nearby park, cafe, juice shop, restaurant, whatver.

Ideally you want to join a gym with alot of attractive women (usually one with alot of classes) + one that has places nearby to go on instadates to.

I wrote a guide on how to pick up women at the gym if you're interested: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-little-guide-on-how-to-pick-up-girls-at-the-gym.30793/

Mr Variety

Here's where I wrote more about gym game - in my responses.

 

[AJAK]

Anyways kudos to you for approaching her, almost nobody has the balls to do that.

I wrote a guide on how to pick up women at the gym if you're interested: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-little-guide-on-how-to-pick-up-girls-at-the-gym.30793/

Mr Variety

Thanks a lot for the guide. It has helped me a lot. I got a girls number recently and we trained together.