Casual/FWB Previously compliant FBs giving weird tests

[gameboy]

You can't be bothered to talk to her at a party, but you want her to come over and fuck?

 

[topcat]

Her: For you not to listen?

These girls really out here diagnosing your problems..

 

[TomInHo]

These girls really out here diagnosing your problems..

He doesn’t listen here either

 

[topcat]

He doesn’t listen here either

lmao exactly

 

[Kaida]

Why does it hurt to go say hi at that point and be casual?

She was around her friends, and again she has a boyfriend so I dont know how discreet I should have been. For all I know her boyfriend could be at the club

Also this club was packed. As in I have to squeeze by people for 5 minutes just to make it to the bathroom packed. I could only make eye contact with her and if I wanted to talk to her she’d see me squeezing past people for 5 minutes just to get there

My guy why do you try so hard to make it look like you don’t care?

Not like that, I more didn’t want to look like a boyfriend and get slotted that way. I might be over blowing the impact

This was obviously the perfect time to eject from conversation and make the girl feel like she’s not a piece of ass

Man I really didnt know what to say

Only responses that came to my head:

1. Some version if “I’ll listen to you, what makes you think I don’t listen” - I sound Qualifying, Desperate, “Anything for the pussy”, and she wont believe me anyway

2. Tease her and dont take it serious - It was a genuine concern so I’ll just look even more callous then she already sees me.

I also didnt leave her on read it was just delieveres

 

[Will_V]

This time I stuck more to the process, did my best to pace her and not look desperate. I just flirted with her made jokes and shit before attempting to soft close instead if just asking her to come over.

The conversation took place over 3 days, I noticed she got warmer as the conversation got longer as it might be because it doesn’t look like I just wanna fuck.

I forgot some of the convo but I’ll give the last few messages here

---

Me: you really a cat lady at heart

Her: I think I remember telling you I prefer dogs. I have only one cat lmao

Me: dont get a big dog it might eat ur lil ass up

Her: Thats exactly what I’m going to do
Her: I was a cane corsi

Me: You was? what made you turn into Abby

Her:
Her: want* you know what I meant

Me: lol how was ur first day of class

Her: Decent, my professor is hilarious

Dude this was great at first. You're teasing, joking, having fun with her, that's how things should be.

---

Me: You should come tell me about it

Her: Boyyyy

Me: hell ye

Her: For you not to listen?
At this point I just ignored the message because I didnt know how to answer that and went out to the club.

All you have to do when girls act like this is not take it seriously.

'pinky promise I will '

We saw each other at the club but didnt acknowkedge each other. We werent really close enough to talk at any point anyway.

After the event I trxted back around 1am:

Why text a girl you don't even want to walk over and talk to when she's there?

---

Me: lmao what

Her: Huhh

Me: r u drunk

Her: Yeah

Me: yeah scratch that dont come
Me: Get home safe

Her: Mhmm

---

I remembered reading on GC you can take back an ask to save face so I decided to scratch it. Didn’t really know how else to proceed since its not like I can “prove” I’m a good listener if I’m never seeing her in person

I’m also thinking the “get home safe” mightve made like I cared too much. I dunno man

What was the point of this, why message her to tell her not to come? She's not so dumb she doesn't realize that you are just trying to protect your ego.

Almost sounds like you've been binging on red pill stuff and it's left you with a combative, zero sum mentality about girls. That's no way to become a better seducer.

 

[StrayDog]

@Kaida what does 'intimacy' mean to you? And how does it figure in your connection with these girls?

Going on a number of your posts thus far, it seems as though you are generally more concerned with what you can get out of the situation, as opposed to what can be shared together.

You want these girls to keep coming back for more, you're going to have to start relating to them (I don't mean 'relationship'). Relating. Pacing, building. Chemistry, connection, trust, opportunity for expression.

 

[topcat]

1. Some version if “I’ll listen to you, what makes you think I don’t listen” - I sound Qualifying, Desperate, “Anything for the pussy”, and she wont believe me anyway

She’ll believe you when you actually start listening.

As in..

Ask her a question, then another relevant to her answer that expands on the things she tells you..
Like ACTUALLY get to know her.

Tbh you need to take some time to focus on deep diving

 

[Lover]

I think there are two important things you should consider

1: The whole frame as it is right now

I think you need to flip the script and make her work more for you. Right now, it always leads to you asking her to come over. And she's in a relationship.

How about going a bit overboard with the text banter for now and see if you can make her ask if she can come over instead?

What I mean is - hit the brakes. Stop asking her to come over for now.

Take a little time off to banter and flirt with her on text, just for the sake of it.

Maybe she will open up more. See what she has to say. Ask her about it. Share small bits about yourself if she asks - just enough to make her wonder about you. And when her mood is right and/or her bf is doing things wrongly, she might want to come over, all by herself

Or maybe you can sense a high note where it makes sense to ask her to come over. But then stop with the hard closes and suggestions of coming over right away. Figure out her schedule first and work it from there. She's not available to you all the time

2: How you think about and handle the objections a girl raises

Even if you did all that work I just wrote above, she may still "object" to come over. But these objections are the real tests. This is where you are supposed to show her what you are about. Objections can show up regardless of your fuckboy frame

How do you respond to her objections? And what does your response tell her?

Let's say her objection is that you probably won't listen to what she has to say

A:
Do you go "nah, nevermind" and surrender completely?

Then she knows you just want to play it on easy mode and that you are being selfish. You're not in it because you value her. So let's make her feel you want her...

B:
Do you go "come on girl, of course I will listen to you, don't be silly" or similar?

Now she knows you want her. But it doesn't look beneficial to her in any way... she has emotional needs too. How can it look beneficial to her?

C:
How about sticking to the flirty and mutually fun vibe you have created at this point?

Do you make a pinky promise like @Will_V suggested? I might even try this myself at some point!

Or another fun and absurd promise?

"I will hear your whole life story then I will show you this painting/poem/song that I just finished after a looong time"

She knows you want her since you are being persistent. But you're being silly about it while implying that you will meet to connect. And she gets a reward for opening up. What's not to like for her?