Read that a bit slow movement and actions of a man are attractive to women...

[alexhunter8]

I have read here in the comments for my previous post and from other articles online that " a man who walks/ moves / actions ' a bit slow' come off as very attractive and confident to women ".
A. Is it? ( the above statement)
B. Is a man turning body swiftly and quickly, turning body quickly and swiftly in non-emergency situations unattractive? ( imagine a HYPER ALERT HYPER ACTIVE SQUIRREL).
C. I tried consciously slowing down all my movements a bit in day to day activities, but it is consuming extra time and with lots of tasks to do pending .
D. How can a man be a bit slow in all his actions/ movements at workplace, party , etc when he has lots of work and to do tasks pending? Impossible right ?
E. So ultimately to get more work done quickly , he has to compromise in his attraction department by being HYPER QUICK in his movements and actions right ?
F. How can I be more attractive in my bodylanguage and movement at the workplace, gym , parties. etc etc when i have lots of things to do ? ( I have to research, order , sort out many things on my phone , do my work , read stuffs , travel in traffic, pickup stuffs , drop my family members, go to grocery etc etc ) So I'm finding it very difficult " to have that relaxed slow movements ". " My movements are a bit fast most of the times ".

 

[Will_V]

I have read here in the comments for my previous post and from other articles online that " a man who walks/ moves / actions ' a bit slow' come off as very attractive and confident to women ".
A. Is it? ( the above statement)
B. Is a man turning body swiftly and quickly, turning body quickly and swiftly in non-emergency situations unattractive? ( imagine a HYPER ALERT HYPER ACTIVE SQUIRREL).
C. I tried consciously slowing down all my movements a bit in day to day activities, but it is consuming extra time and with lots of tasks to do pending .
D. How can a man be a bit slow in all his actions/ movements at workplace, party , etc when he has lots of work and to do tasks pending? Impossible right ?
E. So ultimately to get more work done quickly , he has to compromise in his attraction department by being HYPER QUICK in his movements and actions right ?
F. How can I be more attractive in my bodylanguage and movement at the workplace, gym , parties. etc etc when i have lots of things to do ? ( I have to research, order , sort out many things on my phone , do my work , read stuffs , travel in traffic, pickup stuffs , drop my family members, go to grocery etc etc ) So I'm finding it very difficult " to have that relaxed slow movements ". " My movements are a bit fast most of the times ".

A. Yes.

B. Yes.

C, D. How is it consuming any substantial amount of time? It's not about doing everything in slow motion. It's about making thoughtful, smooth, full, fluid movements, with a touch of flair, that are not jerky or interrupted.
For example, if you're walking, make your stride longer, loosen your upper body, swing your shoulders a little. You can still move fairly briskly if needed, but it still comes across as in-control.
Most people make a lot of wasted movements, basically fidgeting, as they go about their day, simply as an expression of tension or nervousness. That's the most important thing to cut out.
I don't see how moving a tad slower could result in you not being able to 'get stuff done' .. do you never pause during the whole day? Do you never sit down and relax for a while? Sounds like this is more in your head than in reality.

E. Not really. It won't make much of a difference. And the benefits in terms of feeling more clear headed, relaxed, and intentful outweigh any tiny costs in time.

F. How is it hard to move slow when you're reading - I mean I don't move at all! Travelling in traffic, you might as well be meditating cos you ain't going anywhere.

I think this is all in your head a bit, but how about just trying to slow things down when you are socializing, and see how it goes? That's when it really counts.

 

[alexhunter8]

Thanks a lot expert. Your points clarified and relieved my confusion.
Thank u.
1. Can u specifically tell how slow is attractive? Is it a bit slow ?
2. Does slowing down be applied including all the movements like turning head, hand movements, picking objects paper work etc ?

3. Slowing down head turns is the most difficult thing practically, because we have to be aware and alert of our surroundings so it's impossible to be slow In head turns. Even slowing down walk and hand actions are easy but consciously slowing head turns is very very difficult . What do u say?

4. Will it look weird to others if I consciously slow down all my actions and movements?
5. Is it fine to be conscious about my movements/ actions ? ( isn't it faking or trying to be something which I'm not ?)

 

[Will_V]

1. Can u specifically tell how slow is attractive? Is it a bit slow ?

It's hard to say exactly how slow, there's no measurement tool for it.

What you want to do is first relax (meditation is good).

Then add a little bit of inertia to your movements. The way conceptualize it is to pause for a tiny fraction of a second before a movement - whether it's a step while I'm walking, or reaching out to grasp something, or whatever. And then add a bit of follow-through. If it's walking, I roll my shoulders and swivel my hips into the step, swing my head a little. Nothing exaggerated, very subtle.

2. Does slowing down be applied including all the movements like turning head, hand movements, picking objects paper work etc ?

Yes.

3. Slowing down head turns is the most difficult thing practically, because we have to be aware and alert of our surroundings so it's impossible to be slow In head turns. Even slowing down walk and hand actions are easy but consciously slowing head turns is very very difficult . What do u say?

It's easy. You move your eyes, not your head. Unless you are in a warzone or some area of town where you could get mugged anytime, you don't need to have your head on a swivel.

Use your other senses - your eyes, your ears, your peripheral vision - to take in your surroundings.

Look at the first video below - Delon's eyes move around, he's clearly aware of things around himself, but his head stays quite still. Creating a magnetic sense of intent when he's talking to people.

4. Will it look weird to others if I consciously slow down all my actions and movements?

If your body is relaxed, your movements will look relaxed too. But if you are just slowing down by clenching yourself then you are going to look stiff and robotic.

Don't focus on slowing down per se, focus on slowing down and calming your mind, and then your body will follow.

5. Is it fine to be conscious about my movements/ actions ? ( isn't it faking or trying to be something which I'm not ?)

Being conscious of your movements and actions is a good thing, it means you are aware of what you are doing and in control of it. Only fidgety, nervous people prefer to be unconscious of what they do, because being responsible for outcomes causes them anxiety.

I don't know many good videos of this kind of body language, but here are a couple:

Again, you don't have to do as much as you see there, but you can ease your body language toward something similar, and people will feel the difference.

 

[alexhunter8]

Great . Got it.
Now specifically how can I apply it in social interactions ?
Like slowing down speed of speech , pausing more , not nodding head, no head movement etc etc ?
2. Also as u mentioned exactly my bodylanguage is stiff and robotic ,that's what many commented about me.. could the stiffness be due to muscles hypertrophy and weight exercise? ( I have been doing strength training for long time) . And any methods to make entire body more relaxed ? Any hacks or therapy?

 

[gameboy]

Any hacks or therapy?

Meditation, Yoga...

 

[Will_V]

Great . Got it.
Now specifically how can I apply it in social interactions ?
Like slowing down speed of speech , pausing more , not nodding head, no head movement etc etc ?

Yeah, you just want to communicate a sense of:
- Being at ease
- Being in control

That means no nervous movements, hypervigilance, fidgeting. And also making your gestures and movements deliberate and unhurried.

2. Also as u mentioned exactly my bodylanguage is stiff and robotic ,that's what many commented about me.. could the stiffness be due to muscles hypertrophy and weight exercise? ( I have been doing strength training for long time) . And any methods to make entire body more relaxed ? Any hacks or therapy?

Having good flexibility helps. I do a small amount of strength training 3x a week, and even so I add plenty of stretching, because it improves my body language, amongst other things.

The main thing I do and recommend is meditation. A lot of what we think is purely physical in nature is actually the effect of our emotions and thoughts on our body. Anxieties, frustrations, etc all live throughout the body as muscular tension and stiffness.

Also, pay attention to how relaxed your face is - whatever your face is showing, your body will show as well.

 

[alexhunter8]

Hey bud , I tried your suggestions consciously slowing down all movements including head turn and everything...
But i don't know whether it is coming off as weird .
May be my movements come off as weird Because I'm consciously slowing all my movements 24×7 ?
Are you sure I can pull it off and appear very attractive by consciously slowing down all movements?
What are the chances that I am coming off as weird , lazy and sloppy by consciously slowing down all movements?
Or is it because I'm doing it for the 1st time and as days passes by repetition consistently consciously slowing down will I automatically mould into the new slow attractive persona ?

 

[alexhunter8]

I got many feedback from this group and read many articles , posts that slowing down all movements including head turn etc comes off as confident and sexy to women.
So from today I consciously slowed down all my movements including head turn and everything...
But i don't know whether it is coming off as weird .
May be my movements come off as weird Because I'm consciously slowing all my movements 24×7 ?
Are you sure I can pull it off and appear very attractive by consciously slowing down all movements?
What are the chances that I am coming off as weird , lazy and sloppy by consciously slowing down all movements?
Or is it because I'm doing it for the 1st time and as days passes by repetition consistently consciously slowing down will I automatically mould into the new slow attractive persona ?

 

[Will_V]

I got many feedback from this group and read many articles , posts that slowing down all movements including head turn etc comes off as confident and sexy to women.
So from today I consciously slowed down all my movements including head turn and everything...
But i don't know whether it is coming off as weird .
May be my movements come off as weird Because I'm consciously slowing all my movements 24×7 ?
Are you sure I can pull it off and appear very attractive by consciously slowing down all movements?
What are the chances that I am coming off as weird , lazy and sloppy by consciously slowing down all movements?
Or is it because I'm doing it for the 1st time and as days passes by repetition consistently consciously slowing down will I automatically mould into the new slow attractive persona ?

Moved this reply here from your new thread. Please don't spam threads on the same topic.

There's a big difference between moving in a calm, smooth, controlled way, and simply being weird, lazy and sloppy. It's not just about slowing down your movements, it's about experiencing yourself and your reality in a different way.

I can't really tell you anything specific based on what you wrote there. You need to have some intuitive notion of what a successful outcome would look like, and steer yourself toward it.

 

[alexhunter8]

Ok.
So I can easily slow down walk and hand movements.( it won't look obviously weird)
But turning head slowly looks weird and like under influence of alcohol .
So I should not consciously slow down my head turns ?
And I should not consciously slow down all my movements?

 

[Will_V]

Ok.
So I can easily slow down walk and hand movements.( it won't look obviously weird)
But turning head slowly looks weird and like under influence of alcohol .
So I should not consciously slow down my head turns ?
And I should not consciously slow down all my movements?

Does a slow dance look weird and drunk vs a faster one?

No, because the movements are still complete, balanced, unsuppressed, and harmonious.

 

[Arnav]

I have read here in the comments for my previous post and from other articles online that " a man who walks/ moves / actions ' a bit slow' come off as very attractive and confident to women ".
A. Is it? ( the above statement)
B. Is a man turning body swiftly and quickly, turning body quickly and swiftly in non-emergency situations unattractive? ( imagine a HYPER ALERT HYPER ACTIVE SQUIRREL).
C. I tried consciously slowing down all my movements a bit in day to day activities, but it is consuming extra time and with lots of tasks to do pending .
D. How can a man be a bit slow in all his actions/ movements at workplace, party , etc when he has lots of work and to do tasks pending? Impossible right ?
E. So ultimately to get more work done quickly , he has to compromise in his attraction department by being HYPER QUICK in his movements and actions right ?
F. How can I be more attractive in my bodylanguage and movement at the workplace, gym , parties. etc etc when i have lots of things to do ? ( I have to research, order , sort out many things on my phone , do my work , read stuffs , travel in traffic, pickup stuffs , drop my family members, go to grocery etc etc ) So I'm finding it very difficult " to have that relaxed slow movements ". " My movements are a bit fast most of the times ".

Hey alex,

I know why this is confusing for you, i am pretty sure you're doing it wrong. I did it too.

The appropritate word is not slow, you're taking it literaly and doing everything in slow motion.

It's actually relaxed comfortble, smooth movments, which when compared to someone who is nervous, insecure and anxious look much slower.

Anyways you won't understand how to do this over text, I know I couldn't.

You need to see visual examples. When you are outside try to spot a nervous, fidgety, jerky movement in people and try to reflect what impression that made on you and invariably you will also observe someone who will be making smooth, relaxed comfotable movements and they will standout almmong the crowd, notice what impression that made on you.

You need to see live-visual examples in real time to understand this clealry, keep an eye out for movments in people and then try to mimick that.