Schizoid personality disorder struggles with pickup, dating, & relationships

[SpikeSpiegel]

i suspected before that i might have this but i chalked it off as bs, i convinced myself im just an introvert.

went to a psychiatrist recently and turns out im a full blown schizoid, and it explains a lot about my pitfalls in dating (and other areas in my life), i always had problems with being auto rejected for being too distant, and all my relationships never last long, my longest lasted 1 month or so, women ive been with called me ''odd and weird but in a good way'' or ''you seem like someone who doesnt give a fuck'' and similar stuff


the average guy struggles with being too needy, i have the exact opposite problem i definitely appear too aloof and probably flat-out disinterested, guy I used to wing with would tell me to be ''nicer'' now it clicks why he was saying that lol

any tips? anyone else with similar struggles?

for those who dont know what's schizoid personality disorder in short : ''Schizoid personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment, and apathy''

 

[Chase]

@SpikeSpiegel,

My first thought is you'd probably need to learn to do what autists do, where you are masking during the approach (acting like you are warmer/more social than you are), then following a checklist in the relationship to make sure you are doing the right things to keep your woman's needs met.

But don't folks with schizoid personality disorder generally not care about sex/relationships that much in the first place?

I would wonder what your goal romantically is.

Chase

 

[gameboy]

I remember reading about schizoid PD in my teens, as well as about other PDs, and thinking I am probably schizoid. I felt kind of detached from my emotions and some interpersonal things and emotions felt kind of "robotic" to me if that makes sense.

Then my family got a dog, and that was a turning point for me. My family was never very affectionate physically or otherwise. But I would play with and cuddle the dog a lot, and it would of course give me its love back in the way that dogs do.

I never felt schizoid again. In fact, one of my very first girlfriends told me "No one ever held my in his arms as warmly as you!" which was nice to hear. We didn't last long and never had sex because I just didnt know how to do it at the time, but I remember her fondly.

So this is an anecdote and I don't know if would work for others. Getting an animal is a lot of responsibility also. But for me, it seems to have helped greatly.

 

[SpikeSpiegel]

@Chase

i do mask a little but i keep it minimal soften my gaze smile more, i just cant imagine someone like clint eastwood or harrison ford putting up a salesman persona and i dont see myself doing it either, im quiet reserved and sullen even, but that seems to work in social circle situations, my dating history consists mostly of cowokers/classmates

But don't folks with schizoid personality disorder generally not care about sex/relationships that much in the first place?

yes most dont. im not looking for emotional intimacy or romance though just physical connection and curiosity I dont crave closeness I just want the experience