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Seduction Isn't A Piggy Bank, Probability, or Menial Labor

Arnav

Space Monkey
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Where's he not?

  • Opening from back/sides where girls can't fully or even see him before he starts to talk
  • Chasing after girls who don't open trying to open from back or sides as they walk away
  • Defensive body language (arms held in front of himself as he talks, protecting himself)
  • Monotone, inexpressive voice
  • Generic, repetitive openers ("Excuse me... excuse me... excuse me..." "Do you speak English?")
  • Rehearsed/scripted vibe ("I know this is super spontaneous..." delivered in a very practiced way)
  • Neo-direct "shoot your shot" game ("Can I sit down?" within seconds of opening with no feedback at all from girls; "You caught my eye... you can only ask out one girl" within seconds of opening)

I give this guy props for trying. Many guys do not have the balls to try day game at all.

He appears to have general social awareness, so if he keeps at it he will start to figure the rules out over time.

But this guy needs to find a wing who's been doing it for a while or sign up with a coach.

Right now he is just running straight up neo-direct -- that'll get him girls who are already initially interested but not much else.


Chase
Hey chase, this was amazing, i understood so many concepts, from your breakdown. can you do a blog series of more such cold approaches.
 

Chase

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@Arnav,

Hey chase, this was amazing, i understood so many concepts, from your breakdown. can you do a blog series of more such cold approaches.

Glad it was helpful, man.

I have a few breakdowns on in-fields in these articles:




That said, I'm a bit wary of doing too many criticism of guys' in-field videos. I'd rather not be overly critical of guys who are putting themselves out there.

If guys have any specific breakdowns they want on a specific video I could consider doing them though.

Chase
 

Arnav

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@Arnav,



Glad it was helpful, man.

I have a few breakdowns on in-fields in these articles:




That said, I'm a bit wary of doing too many criticism of guys' in-field videos. I'd rather not be overly critical of guys who are putting themselves out there.

If guys have any specific breakdowns they want on a specific video I could consider doing them though.

Chase

How would you break down this guy's approaches.

He isn't a pick up artist, he is a pretty famous guy onyoutube, but his motivations are usually to creat viraility videos, social pranks.

Would you say he has good nonverbals, energy and vibe? Any serious mistakes he makes?
 

Brassfaced_Jim

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How would you break down this guy's approaches.

He isn't a pick up artist, he is a pretty famous guy onyoutube, but his motivations are usually to creat viraility videos, social pranks.

Would you say he has good nonverbals, energy and vibe? Any serious mistakes he makes?
This guy is interesting.
They way he’s surprising the chick constantly and being different/unique.
He cuts in 2nd chicks convo a bit TOO much imo tho.
Helps him he is very tall .
 

Arnav

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This guy is interesting.
They way he’s surprising the chick constantly and being different/unique.
He cuts in 2nd chicks convo a bit TOO much imo tho.
Helps him he is very tall .
Yeah, but his game is very neo direct, it seems. Straightaway tells them that he likes them.
 

Will_V

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How would you break down this guy's approaches.

He isn't a pick up artist, he is a pretty famous guy onyoutube, but his motivations are usually to creat viraility videos, social pranks.

Would you say he has good nonverbals, energy and vibe? Any serious mistakes he makes?

Personally I'd avoid taking too many cues from these youtube pranksters, they are there to get likes and subscribers and keep the internet entertained.

I watched the first few seconds of the first interaction and he's already doing his best to throw everything off track for laughs - telling her he likes her right away, giving her flowers, asking if she wants to get some squid. If she's in the mood she's going to be entertained for a while, but in the long run that sort of 'game' isn't going to work to get results. These guys don't care though - they want the content not the girl, and they aren't teaching seduction.
 

Arnav

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Personally I'd avoid taking too many cues from these youtube pranksters, they are there to get likes and subscribers and keep the internet entertained.

I watched the first few seconds of the first interaction and he's already doing his best to throw everything off track for laughs - telling her he likes her right away, giving her flowers, asking if she wants to get some squid. If she's in the mood she's going to be entertained for a while, but in the long run that sort of 'game' isn't going to work to get results. These guys don't care though - they want the content not the girl, and they aren't teaching seduction.
Okay I see, but when you say the earloer guy was defensive, montone and low energy. Would you say this example would be closer to high energy, expressive voice and open body langauge?
 

Will_V

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Okay I see, but when you say the earloer guy was defensive, montone and low energy. Would you say this example would be closer to high energy, expressive voice and open body langauge?

This guy definitely comes across as more chill and sociable, in the first example he was pretty smooth with the introduction and his tone and body language is very laid back and jovial. I like what he did in the first few seconds, teasing her about not having friends and then sitting down next to her while they were both laughing. The girl seemed to be interested at the beginning.

But the rest of that interaction was awkward comedy obviously designed for youtube laughs, I wouldn't be looking for any pointers from that.
...

It's worth pointing out that it's one thing to be able to be social and another thing to seduce, even though seduction requires very good social skills. To seduce, you need to show intent and build sexual tension, and your social skills are very much a means of preparing her to enjoy your sexual interest rather than feel confronted by it, and calibrating things dynamically with wit, humor, rapport, and a clear frame of non-neediness.

One of the things I believe guys struggle with the most (and I certainly took a while to find my own expression) is being able to sustain your social personality while introducing sexual interest. Even when a guy can socialize or joke around with a girl, he's not necessarily going to be able to make a move without losing the plot. That's because guys tend to feel very secure and contented when they are inside the safe operating parameters of social interaction that they're used to, but when they need to step outside of that to express their own desires in ways that could be rejected or judged, their own internal frame can immediately break down.

The way that the female mind responds to sexual interest is very subtle and that's one of the things that makes seduction challenging. She can easily feel intimidated by it and want to escape from it when it's too much, but it's the fuel that propels the interaction forward through the boring texting phase, and it colors her feelings about you after the approach, when she's alone thinking about you or reading your texts, with a rich excitement and an irresistible hint of 'danger'. So you can not have either too much or too little.

In these sort of youtube videos guys will often go in with high social energy and use the momentum from that to get a number and then end the interaction and run off (they got the content!), but there's not actually been an assertion of his desires in any way, verbally or nonverbally. As I've heard certain coaches put it, she still 'doesn't know you have a cock'.

Those kind of numbers typically don't turn into dates, and that's what makes a lot of the superficial number-grabbing footage out there pretty useless for guys who are already fairly socially calibrated.
 

Arnav

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This guy definitely comes across as more chill and sociable, in the first example he was pretty smooth with the introduction and his tone and body language is very laid back and jovial. I like what he did in the first few seconds, teasing her about not having friends and then sitting down next to her while they were both laughing. The girl seemed to be interested at the beginning.

But the rest of that interaction was awkward comedy obviously designed for youtube laughs, I wouldn't be looking for any pointers from that.
...

It's worth pointing out that it's one thing to be able to be social and another thing to seduce, even though seduction requires very good social skills. To seduce, you need to show intent and build sexual tension, and your social skills are very much a means of preparing her to enjoy your sexual interest rather than feel confronted by it, and calibrating things dynamically with wit, humor, rapport, and a clear frame of non-neediness.

One of the things I believe guys struggle with the most (and I certainly took a while to find my own expression) is being able to sustain your social personality while introducing sexual interest. Even when a guy can socialize or joke around with a girl, he's not necessarily going to be able to make a move without losing the plot. That's because guys tend to feel very secure and contented when they are inside the safe operating parameters of social interaction that they're used to, but when they need to step outside of that to express their own desires in ways that could be rejected or judged, their own internal frame can immediately break down.

The way that the female mind responds to sexual interest is very subtle and that's one of the things that makes seduction challenging. She can easily feel intimidated by it and want to escape from it when it's too much, but it's the fuel that propels the interaction forward through the boring texting phase, and it colors her feelings about you after the approach, when she's alone thinking about you or reading your texts, with a rich excitement and an irresistible hint of 'danger'. So you can not have either too much or too little.

In these sort of youtube videos guys will often go in with high social energy and use the momentum from that to get a number and then end the interaction and run off (they got the content!), but there's not actually been an assertion of his desires in any way, verbally or nonverbally. As I've heard certain coaches put it, she still 'doesn't know you have a cock'.

Those kind of numbers typically don't turn into dates, and that's what makes a lot of the superficial number-grabbing footage out there pretty useless for guys who are already fairly socially calibrated.
Ahh , I see. Very insightfull commentary there. Thanks.
 

Brassfaced_Jim

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This guy definitely comes across as more chill and sociable, in the first example he was pretty smooth with the introduction and his tone and body language is very laid back and jovial. I like what he did in the first few seconds, teasing her about not having friends and then sitting down next to her while they were both laughing. The girl seemed to be interested at the beginning.

But the rest of that interaction was awkward comedy obviously designed for youtube laughs, I wouldn't be looking for any pointers from that.
...

It's worth pointing out that it's one thing to be able to be social and another thing to seduce, even though seduction requires very good social skills. To seduce, you need to show intent and build sexual tension, and your social skills are very much a means of preparing her to enjoy your sexual interest rather than feel confronted by it, and calibrating things dynamically with wit, humor, rapport, and a clear frame of non-neediness.

One of the things I believe guys struggle with the most (and I certainly took a while to find my own expression) is being able to sustain your social personality while introducing sexual interest. Even when a guy can socialize or joke around with a girl, he's not necessarily going to be able to make a move without losing the plot. That's because guys tend to feel very secure and contented when they are inside the safe operating parameters of social interaction that they're used to, but when they need to step outside of that to express their own desires in ways that could be rejected or judged, their own internal frame can immediately break down.

The way that the female mind responds to sexual interest is very subtle and that's one of the things that makes seduction challenging. She can easily feel intimidated by it and want to escape from it when it's too much, but it's the fuel that propels the interaction forward through the boring texting phase, and it colors her feelings about you after the approach, when she's alone thinking about you or reading your texts, with a rich excitement and an irresistible hint of 'danger'. So you can not have either too much or too little.

In these sort of youtube videos guys will often go in with high social energy and use the momentum from that to get a number and then end the interaction and run off (they got the content!), but there's not actually been an assertion of his desires in any way, verbally or nonverbally. As I've heard certain coaches put it, she still 'doesn't know you have a cock'.

Those kind of numbers typically don't turn into dates, and that's what makes a lot of the superficial number-grabbing footage out there pretty useless for guys who are already fairly socially calibrated.
agreed .
This is not seduction at all to me.
Just collecting of contact details.
He’s being “direct” in his opener sure ( I wouldn’t ) but tbh (a) it’s clunky (b) it’s needy and most of all (c) it’s unnecessary,

the chicks are dressed down mid chicks,
I’d like to see him run his “I like you” octopus and emails game on an actual glammed up sexy chick in a tight dress and high heels.

he’d malfunction I reckon,

he’s almost playing a Hugh Grant character imo. Mr different/ Mr cutesy/ mr bumbling through.

kudos he is kinda assertive that’s good but ultimately won’t help him. He’ll still be grinding away later sending emails.
 

James D

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@Arnav,



Glad it was helpful, man.

I have a few breakdowns on in-fields in these articles:




That said, I'm a bit wary of doing too many criticism of guys' in-field videos. I'd rather not be overly critical of guys who are putting themselves out there.

If guys have any specific breakdowns they want on a specific video I could consider doing them though.

Chase
@Chase

Have you ever seen Juan from ThatWasEpic on YouTube?

Dude's got smoothness dialed in.

Would be a cool breakdown to see how a guy with great social calibration goes about approaching girls in the day.

I've modeled my day game vibe partly after him.

Most will say it's because his tall, good-looking and exotic but I digress- any guy exuding that level of confidence and navigating social interactions with such smoothness can have similar positive reactions with girls.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Arnav

Space Monkey
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Messages
43
@Chase

Have you ever seen Juan from ThatWasEpic on YouTube?

Dude's got smoothness dialed in.

Would be a cool breakdown to see how a guy with great social calibration goes about approaching girls in the day.

I've modeled my day game vibe partly after him.

Most will say it's because his tall, good-looking and exotic but I digress- any guy exuding that level of confidence and navigating social interactions with such smoothness can have similar positive reactions with girls.
Yeah, Juan from that was epic, that is the guy who's video I posted here, will's analysis is that he while he is very social and chatty. This is not seduction and he would struggle once he has to make things serious and move the interaction forward towards something serious. He lacks sexual intent.
 

James D

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Yeah, Juan from that was epic, that is the guy who's video I posted here, will's analysis is that he while he is very social and chatty. This is not seduction and he would struggle once he has to make things serious and move the interaction forward towards something serious. He lacks sexual intent.
Oh I didn't see that!

Will check it
 

PaulieFlyn10

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@Chase

Have you ever seen Juan from ThatWasEpic on YouTube?

Dude's got smoothness dialed in.

Would be a cool breakdown to see how a guy with great social calibration goes about approaching girls in the day.

I've modeled my day game vibe partly after him.

Most will say it's because his tall, good-looking and exotic but I digress- any guy exuding that level of confidence and navigating social interactions with such smoothness can have similar positive reactions with girls.

Do you have links to your favourite videos of him
 

PaulieFlyn10

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
250
@Chase

Have you ever seen Juan from ThatWasEpic on YouTube?

Dude's got smoothness dialed in.

Would be a cool breakdown to see how a guy with great social calibration goes about approaching girls in the day.

I've modeled my day game vibe partly after him.

Most will say it's because his tall, good-looking and exotic but I digress- any guy exuding that level of confidence and navigating social interactions with such smoothness can have similar positive reactions with girls.
Do you have links to your favourite videos of him
 

PaulieFlyn10

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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This guy definitely comes across as more chill and sociable, in the first example he was pretty smooth with the introduction and his tone and body language is very laid back and jovial. I like what he did in the first few seconds, teasing her about not having friends and then sitting down next to her while they were both laughing. The girl seemed to be interested at the beginning.

But the rest of that interaction was awkward comedy obviously designed for youtube laughs, I wouldn't be looking for any pointers from that.
...

It's worth pointing out that it's one thing to be able to be social and another thing to seduce, even though seduction requires very good social skills. To seduce, you need to show intent and build sexual tension, and your social skills are very much a means of preparing her to enjoy your sexual interest rather than feel confronted by it, and calibrating things dynamically with wit, humor, rapport, and a clear frame of non-neediness.

One of the things I believe guys struggle with the most (and I certainly took a while to find my own expression) is being able to sustain your social personality while introducing sexual interest. Even when a guy can socialize or joke around with a girl, he's not necessarily going to be able to make a move without losing the plot. That's because guys tend to feel very secure and contented when they are inside the safe operating parameters of social interaction that they're used to, but when they need to step outside of that to express their own desires in ways that could be rejected or judged, their own internal frame can immediately break down.

The way that the female mind responds to sexual interest is very subtle and that's one of the things that makes seduction challenging. She can easily feel intimidated by it and want to escape from it when it's too much, but it's the fuel that propels the interaction forward through the boring texting phase, and it colors her feelings about you after the approach, when she's alone thinking about you or reading your texts, with a rich excitement and an irresistible hint of 'danger'. So you can not have either too much or too little.

In these sort of youtube videos guys will often go in with high social energy and use the momentum from that to get a number and then end the interaction and run off (they got the content!), but there's not actually been an assertion of his desires in any way, verbally or nonverbally. As I've heard certain coaches put it, she still 'doesn't know you have a cock'.

Those kind of numbers typically don't turn into dates, and that's what makes a lot of the superficial number-grabbing footage out there pretty useless for guys who are already fairly socially calibrated.
Yeah well said.

Lack of sexual intent and emotional stimulation/connection is the major thing missing from these videos. A.K.A lacking a man to woman frame/dynamic

I'll probably analyse the video to see areas or pointers he could have done differently

I think constructive criticism with feedback on videos like these are helpful

Cause if most guys are being social and chatty but lacking sexual intent/presence/man to woman frame...

Then they'd be to relate to the videos alongside constructive comments on areas that could be improved or introduced
 

Brassfaced_Jim

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I just thought I’d jot down a few ideas while my brain is firing.. reading through this thread. And thinking what seduction means to me,
These are mostly words for me so I don’t forget .while I have some semi crystallised thoughts.

In my way of thinking a seduction is really a “ Display”

its a display of boldness and sexuality mainly in my mind. ( aka sexiness or being a sexy guy)

I have my own terminology and ideas for describing when I’m cracking onto a chick, (tryna pickup)

I call it a “ flex” .. cos really that’s what I’m doing. Or moreso an “ alpha flex”.

the first minute or more of a pickup for me is mainly the energy and seductive vibe I’m putting out in this ‘display’ to a woman,

I’m transmitting ‘I’m sexy, I’m confident , I’m interested in you sexually’ but not saying it with words.
But absolutely with everything else
. I’m very in my body. I’m flexing all my sexy moves toward her and I’m in a sexual aroused state myself by what I’m looking at and what I like and what’s on my mind,

To me it goes back. Way back this ‘display’ idea. Back to African tribes . Men dancing and flexing tryna arouse the women.
Women dancing and flexing tryna arouse the men.

that’s what it is to me.
That progress through Latin counties I suppose with Latin dancing etc.

that’s what I’m doing from my perspective,

I’m using my body language and voice tone and eye contact mainly. Kinda like Mickey Rourke in 9&1/2 weeks that movie.

how he acts is very spot on.

I’m trying to dominate in sexual energy and project LOTS of that toward the chick to signal quite obviously to her “ I want to fuck you”

I do my little flex and my little sexy dance for her.

if she is interested she will reciprocate and start her moves in tandem. I’ll notice her body language open up her face will change and her eyes will get lively,
There was an old saying “ it’s all in the eyes “

it’s sure is. And the body too, and the voice tonalities.

that’s why I practice solid eye contact,

if a chick likes me , I see it in the eyes , hard to describe but it’s probably the iris getting bigger, it does that to take more information in and it does it when it finds something interesting and likes it 👍

phew! Just my thought,
I watch some infield … but tbh I don’t see much of what I’d describe as seduction form my perspective tbh.

just my 2 cents.
 

Brassfaced_Jim

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Tbh to me seduction means taking a chick out of her everyday life (say at a shopping mall) and giving her a mini romance of sorts then pushing past her social programming and resistance to give her (and me ) a very good time (hot sex).

it’s a display then an enticement.

the better I’ve gotten at it the more my convos are all basically indirect talking but after first 30 mins it’s all logistics when / where / what location. The chick will be dropping that to me ‘by the way’ and vice versa. It’s all under the radar of the public.
That’s the key after the flex and getting attraction is talking indirectly ,to me.

Women kinda speak another language I’ve found. Chick code and womanese. Crack the code , be a sexy guy and learn to flex it and a guy ought to be golden in my theory of it. The foundations of being sexy or learning how to ‘work what a guy has’ are extremely Important.
 

Brassfaced_Jim

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Tbh and I’ll be blunt.
I don’t really give much of a shit about what’s in a chicks mind or that much about connecfing with her even.

just the physical connection firstly for me.

1) does she find me sexy.
2) is she up for it
3) when and where

pretty simply
 

Bismarck

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Beautiful thread as usual from you Will. Really happy that you decided to stick around as you elevate the level of the discussion around here with your carefully thought-out and artfully articulated words.

Plenty of golden nuggets here, like “Being able to see one level deeper into someone's identity than what the world around them perceives, and reflecting it positively back to them, is one of the most powerful rewards you can offer in a social context.”

Or: “Seduction has a lot to do with how she experiences herself through you. If she feels beautiful and happy and interesting and unique when she's around you, that's half of the seduction already complete. That's why deep diving works so well, and calibrated compliments and qualifiers are very effective.

That has very little to do with who you are, and a lot to do with your ability to communicate, reflect, and lead her attention and emotions. You are sort of like her guide through her own world.

Many women are yearning not to find some super attractive guy, but to feel super attracted to themselves, to be able to express parts of themselves they aren't sure the world wants them to express, to be able to see the beauty and enjoyment that's available in their own present existence. If you can lead her there, she will be ready to do things she'd never do with anyone else.”

Also the “mini-experiences” bit (reminds me of Elliot Hulse, who used to talk about giving her mini-orgasms throughout the interaction). And your piece about the fragile ego's coping strategies of going straight for the hardest to not feel threatened, instead of practicing the basics.

I want to preface my post by stating that I broadly agree with your points or at least the main thrust of your ideas. In fact, when this issue was brought up before you arrived in the forum, I responded in a similar vein.

All that said, last year starting in May when I was going out specifically to cold approach every day for 30 minutes to 1 hour, I felt like I was more successful if I socialized less. Because socializing allowed me to interact with cute girls, and would somehow inform my prefrontal cortex that there was thus no need to go approach.

By starving myself of those mainly social but also sometimes mildly flirty interactions, I was hungrier to put in the grind. What I found was that I had to approach a fair few times before I finally got laid with a hot girl.

But by September I was just enjoying myself socializing and had completely downgraded cold approach pick-up because I viewed it as such a grind.

I’ve always felt that it was easier to pick up girls from social contexts, but I suppose I became more adept at that due to the several years during which I worked as a walking tour guide, where in a sense I was “manufacturing” the social circle, or at least leading it, albeit for a limited time only.

I want to finish with a caveat. I know a guy who, back when he was single, had to cold approach about 250 girls to get a lay. He is now happily married to a girl he met through cold approach day game. This is not the most social guy on the planet, even if he is a member of a few circles.

So different strokes for different folks / there are many ways to skin a cat.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to read all the pages of this thread as I simply don’t have the time but will come back to read more as soon as I am able.
 
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