Socializing Sex Talk & Screening

[AdamC]

Hey there...

I'm curious on how to introduce Sex Talk in the first meet-up with a girl...
And particularly Screen for a current lover, secret lover, friend with benefits, and or bf...
As well as find out how recently she had sex last....
...with finesse of course, and not sounding like it's an interrogation?

Ideally to gauge if she's at a higher risk of having std's or not.

If the goal is to pull her for sex at the end of the first meet-up, I'd like to get an idea that she's safe or not.
Plus, I don't really care for the possible "love triangle" drama if she's got other current lovers.

I get that alot of my buddies are like - "whatever Dude, just slap a condom on and get tested every 4 months..."
But you can still get herpes even with a condom, and I don't really need that stress in my already complex professional life!

Any effective thoughts and suggestions?

- Adam C

 

[Teevster]

I'm curious on how to introduce Sex Talk in the first meet-up with a girl...

Everything practical about sex talk can be found here.

And particularly Screen for a current lover, secret lover, friend with benefits, and or bf...
As well as find out how recently she had sex last....
...with finesse of course, and not sounding like it's an interrogation?

Sure you can get her to open up, but that's rarely a good intel on risk-behavior. Factors such as were she is born or were she grew up ( and the area's prevalence of hepatitis B and C, or HIV 1 or 2), where her is from, whether her ex fucks trannies/men, whether she does drug, used to fuck someone injecting drugs, whether she took the hepatitis jab, etc are more important variables...

But good luck to you to get this info out of her. Also you trying to get this info out would be anti-sexual and anti-seductive.

If the goal is to pull her for sex at the end of the first meet-up, I'd like to get an idea that she's safe or not.
Plus, I don't really care for the possible "love triangle" drama if she's got other current lovers.

I get that alot of my buddies are like - "whatever Dude, just slap a condom on and get tested every 4 months..."
But you can still get herpes even with a condom, and I don't really need that stress in my already complex professional life!

Your strategy for safe sex is OFF.

You friends are correct.
- Use condoms as much as you can (ideally all the time, but hey...).
- Get tested every 3-4 months. This is important as you want to get rid of petty STIs such as chlam or gono as they open the floodgates for worse STIs (HIV, Hepatitis). Hence TESTING is a form of PREVENTION.

You have other options to protect yourself:
- Take the hepatitis and HPV jab. This is a must, especially the hepatitis B one.
- Take doxy pep after sex to not catch Syphilis, Chlam and Gono (requires a prescription and needs to be supervised by a specialist).

More advanced stuf.
- Become familiar with PEP (post exposure prophylaxis - a cure of 1 month of antiviral you take after having sex with a shady person to make sure you do not catch HIV - think of a "day after" treatment. Has to be taken as soon as possible within 48 h (some claim 72 hours, but I would get to the emergency room asap if I felt exposed).
- If you have many partners, you can get a prescription on PreP, a medication that preventively protects from contracting HIV.

At the end of the day, only HIV is incurable (we can now easily cure people from Hepatitis C, and have a good vaccine for Hepatitis B). Unless there is a high prevalence of HIV in your area, and unless you fuck girls from risk group, then using condoms most of the time and getting rid of petty STIs is in my opinion more than enough.

Best,
Teevster

 

[Teevster]

But you can still get herpes even with a condom, and I don't really need that stress in my already complex professional life!

All you can do to protect yourself against herpes is:
- Not kiss (or receive oral sex) from girls with cold sores.
- Not have sex with girls who have signs of herpes on her vagina.
- Use condoms (doesn't protect 100% but reduces the risks drastically).

There is nothing else you can do to protect yourself I am afraid. Remember that herpes is most contagious when people have flair-ups. Yes people can spread even when it is latent, but with MUCH lower odds but still possible, even when dealing with a girl who received it from her grandma by drinking from her cup when she was a kid, who never had symptoms can in theory transmit it to you. I am not proning for reckless behaviour, but rather trying to make the point that... you can only do so much to protect yourself against HSV.

Remember that most girls have some form of herpes and you likely have too. This does not mean you should be reckless, but that you should take it easy, yet take some precautions. Not everybody get outbreaks. You may have it, but haven't had an outbreak. Maybe you never will. Maybe it will happen one day you will get a cold sore (and it may never come back again). Or you are an unlucky bastard and get it once in a while.

All girls who have been kissing a few people most likely have the virus in them. Most dudes, you included, who has kissed 10 girls, most likely have the virus.

So chill.

Ok but maybe you are like me, one of those unlucky bastards who got outbreaks. Well, the treatments are very efficient with few side-effects. It is really no big deal. Also with the treatment you are LESS LIKELY to spread it to others, than if you had the virus without knowing (girl who has the virus, without outbreaks, who got it from her grandma when she was a kid).

So... chill buddy, chill.

Please go to your local STI clinic and talk with a nurse man or doctor (in infectious disease of dermatologist) to calm your nerves.

-Teevster

 

[AdamC]

Appreciate the incite. Pretty through here...