Sex with other girls with her or without her in a long term relationship?

[DeepShadow]

For a long time I have been trying to figure out what kind of relationships to have in my life, and I have come to the point of having a person with whom I build a deep relationship and at the same time go with other girls, now with a current girl I am building this deep relationship while I go with others, but I wonder how sustainable it is if only I can.

Won't it create long-term resentment or injustice? and for this I thought if it was better to include her in relationships with other girls. She lets me do it because she knows that I only love her (after a long time in which she suffered and understood that what I said was true) and she loves me a lot, and I have a high sexual desire and you can't keep up with the rhythms too. if I was her best boyfriend ever. But I was wondering this because past the years maybe she could try again to bargain even if I never allow it, and then having sex with other girls could give her the news and other experiences with me? Which of the 2 ways is better, I ask this because I remember some comments of @Chase about it on this type of relationship but he never deepened.

which of the 2 is better for a chance to last as long as possible? doing it with her with other girls seems better but it hurts to see me with other girls and she prefers not to look

 

[PalmaSailor]

Paradoxically while you have other girls as options she’ll stick around.

you probably won’t want what you think you want long term. It will change.

just play it by ear for a bit and see how it goes

 

[DeepShadow]

Paradoxically while you have other girls as options she’ll stick around.

you probably won’t want what you think you want long term. It will change.

just play it by ear for a bit and see how it goes

yes, but the question is not whether to have other girls or not, but in what way. That is to see them separately from her or to fuck them with her

 

[Beck Bass]

Won't it create long-term resentment or injustice?

If she feels that way, it might.
You gotta find out if she's the right girl for that type of relationship, or if you can turn her into that.

In my own LTR my girl is fine with both (sex with other girls with out without her), I think. She was mad that she found out that I fucked another girl, I confronted her about it and she said she didn't mind me fucking her, but she got mad cause she found a big ass hair of hers, and that's a specific girl she doesn't like as much. I was talking about fucking another girl, HBRocker, which is probably smarter (I write this because this redhead Asian I fucked has some weird behaviour) and more like her, and she seemed just fine (she also lives in another city, I might have to add lol). So I think it depends a lot on your girl and the other girls you're fucking, as well.

As long as you keep her happy, she's... gonna be happy.
Yesterday, in fact, she got a bit mad and came saying if I didn't have her a "serious" commited LTR, she would leave. We talked and talked, and basically she was mad I didn't see her on Saturday, since she's traveling soon and gonna be abroad for one week, then travel again the other. So she really wanted to see me, but Saturday she was out with her friends, and got drunk, presumably because she thought I didn't like her thaaat much, to be out partying with my own friends when she's leaving, but I did want to see her that night, and when I made that very clear (and the fact that I love her and want her by my side no matter what), she was chill, even talking a bit about this threesome with HBRocker (she even was saying, man, I was talking about splitting up 10 minutes ago and you're already talking about a threesome with some girl? And I was like laughing hehe)

I have a high sexual desire and you can't keep up with the rhythms too. if I was her best boyfriend ever.

Very similar to me, to be honest. In my case, I do know for sure I'm the best she's ever had, because she doesn't have that much exp and isn't even all that sexual (though I'm managing to change that a bit, slowly). Also, I do know my own sexual prowess xD

doing it with her with other girls seems better but it hurts to see me with other girls and she prefers not to look

If that's the case, don't show her anything, just leave it implicit to her and get on some kind of agreement about that (if she agrees and she really doesn't wanna know, don't even leave it implicit, act like it doesn't happen around her, I guess). Though if she's that repulsed by the idea, maybe she's not a girl for that type of thing, not right now, anyway (eventually she's gonna find something, you know, some scratch mark, hair or smell of other girl, and she's gonna be hurt).

 

[DeepShadow]

If she feels that way, it might.
You gotta find out if she's the right girl for that type of relationship, or if you can turn her into that.

In my own LTR my girl is fine with both (sex with other girls with out without her), I think. She was mad that she found out that I fucked another girl, I confronted her about it and she said she didn't mind me fucking her, but she got mad cause she found a big ass hair of hers, and that's a specific girl she doesn't like as much. I was talking about fucking another girl, HBRocker, which is probably smarter (I write this because this redhead Asian I fucked has some weird behaviour) and more like her, and she seemed just fine (she also lives in another city, I might have to add lol). So I think it depends a lot on your girl and the other girls you're fucking, as well.

As long as you keep her happy, she's... gonna be happy.
Yesterday, in fact, she got a bit mad and came saying if I didn't have her a "serious" commited LTR, she would leave. We talked and talked, and basically she was mad I didn't see her on Saturday, since she's traveling soon and gonna be abroad for one week, then travel again the other. So she really wanted to see me, but Saturday she was out with her friends, and got drunk, presumably because she thought I didn't like her thaaat much, to be out partying with my own friends when she's leaving, but I did want to see her that night, and when I made that very clear (and the fact that I love her and want her by my side no matter what), she was chill, even talking a bit about this threesome with HBRocker (she even was saying, man, I was talking about splitting up 10 minutes ago and you're already talking about a threesome with some girl? And I was like laughing hehe)


Very similar to me, to be honest. In my case, I do know for sure I'm the best she's ever had, because she doesn't have that much exp and isn't even all that sexual (though I'm managing to change that a bit, slowly). Also, I do know my own sexual prowess xD


If that's the case, don't show her anything, just leave it implicit to her and get on some kind of agreement about that (if she agrees and she really doesn't wanna know, don't even leave it implicit, act like it doesn't happen around her, I guess). Though if she's that repulsed by the idea, maybe she's not a girl for that type of thing, not right now, anyway (eventually she's gonna find something, you know, some scratch mark, hair or smell of other girl, and she's gonna be hurt).

my argument is not so much what he prefers, but what is best for the long term. My reasoning is we will be together until death do us part if I go with other girls, but I wonder if this thing that I go with other girls and she does not in the long run when there is less attraction influences her in various ways to rationalize something. so she should too and try again to ask me about the fact that it's unfair, and that then fucking her with other girls will give him variety that tends to leave things better on the long-term sexual side, although there may be more jealousy I can deal with, not I know if I have made myself clear. I was her best boyfriend in all respects and discovered things about herself that she didn't know, but familiarity if not fought in the long run hurts

 

[Beck Bass]

I was her best boyfriend in all respects and discovered things about herself that she didn't know, but familiarity if not fought in the long run hurts

I know man, but, by the end of the end, it's your decision, like this is your life as well. Will you be happy just sticking with her? If so, just go for it.
For me, I know I would be happy with my girl, but I would have been feeling like there's always something missing, like I'm wasting my youth or something. I love seducing new girls and practicing game, I think it's one of the most interesting and rewarding endeavours a man can take on, and I seriously love women, I would be kinda let down to only interact with mine on that level (of course what I have with my girl is deeper, but just being platonic with all other girls would be lame for me).

I was discussing this with my girl, and basically she told me "well, all men are like that", like what she said is that, if any man could have multiple women, they would. Then she told something like "everyone feels attracted to other people, it's natural", then I asked her if she missed other guys, and said she didn't, that she only needed me. Ok, I also only need you, I told her, but I don't see why I can't have some fun with other girls on the side, it's not gonna affect how I feel about you, at all.

I can't come here and tell you that nothing is gonna happen long term (because, well, I haven't been with a girl that long), but what I'm going to tell you, is that women are stronger than what you think (most of them, the ones you would want on a LTR anyway). If they truly feel like it's unfair or a bad deal for them, they will end it, eventually. My ex, for example, was a bit chubby, had a bunch of self steem issues, and by the end of that year she decided it was time to go. I was, without doubt, the best man she ever had, I made her cum like there was no tomorrow, she wanted to see me all the time (you can blame that a bit on her being clingy, but I digress), we had a lot of fun together, even outside the bedroom, but eventually she felt like she wanted something more. You can't control that.

Be truthful and let her leave at anytime, and she will decide what's best for her. That, I think, it's important, she needs to know what's going on, so she has the right to decide. As long as you're not really cheating, like fucking other girls behind her back without her ever knowing (eventually shit just happens and she will know, trust me, unless you're like those serial killers that never gets caught lmao, but why would you hide everything so well to begin with), she won't fell cheated, I think, but this of course depends on the girl herself. I think women don't mind you having sex with other, to be real, as long as you don't taint this higher level of connection you have with them, like they still "your girl" and you "their man".

But, by the end of the day, the choice is yours, and you gotta deal with it.

 

[DeepShadow]

I know man, but, by the end of the end, it's your decision, like this is your life as well. Will you be happy just sticking with her? If so, just go for it.
For me, I know I would be happy with my girl, but I would have been feeling like there's always something missing, like I'm wasting my youth or something. I love seducing new girls and practicing game, I think it's one of the most interesting and rewarding endeavours a man can take on, and I seriously love women, I would be kinda let down to only interact with mine on that level (of course what I have with my girl is deeper, but just being platonic with all other girls would be lame for me).

I was discussing this with my girl, and basically she told me "well, all men are like that", like what she said is that, if any man could have multiple women, they would. Then she told something like "everyone feels attracted to other people, it's natural", then I asked her if she missed other guys, and said she didn't, that she only needed me. Ok, I also only need you, I told her, but I don't see why I can't have some fun with other girls on the side, it's not gonna affect how I feel about you, at all.

I can't come here and tell you that nothing is gonna happen long term (because, well, I haven't been with a girl that long), but what I'm going to tell you, is that women are stronger than what you think (most of them, the ones you would want on a LTR anyway). If they truly feel like it's unfair or a bad deal for them, they will end it, eventually. My ex, for example, was a bit chubby, had a bunch of self steem issues, and by the end of that year she decided it was time to go. I was, without doubt, the best man she ever had, I made her cum like there was no tomorrow, she wanted to see me all the time (you can blame that a bit on her being clingy, but I digress), we had a lot of fun together, even outside the bedroom, but eventually she felt like she wanted something more. You can't control that.

Be truthful and let her leave at anytime, and she will decide what's best for her. That, I think, it's important, she needs to know what's going on, so she has the right to decide. As long as you're not really cheating, like fucking other girls behind her back without her ever knowing (eventually shit just happens and she will know, trust me, unless you're like those serial killers that never gets caught lmao, but why would you hide everything so well to begin with), she won't fell cheated, I think, but this of course depends on the girl herself. I think women don't mind you having sex with other, to be real, as long as you don't taint this higher level of connection you have with them, like they still "your girl" and you "their man".

But, by the end of the day, the choice is yours, and you gotta deal with it.

maybe she translates some things badly, but already now i fuck other women while i'm engaged to her, but i was just wondering if for the long term it is better to get together with other girls to give her variety too or in reality it is more harmful than positive for a long term

 

[Beck Bass]

maybe she translates some things badly, but already now i fuck other women while i'm engaged to her, but i was just wondering if for the long term it is better to get together with other girls to give her variety too or in reality it is more harmful than positive for a long term

You mean having threesomes with her? I think that can be really good, she just needs to be open to it (I myself am only seeding the idea for her, maybe she we'll get to that when HBRocker comes to my city in September, never had any threesomes, really).
@POB must know better

 

[DeepShadow]

You mean having threesomes with her? I think that can be really good, she just needs to be open to it (I myself am only seeding the idea for her, maybe she we'll get to that when HBRocker comes to my city in September, never had any threesomes, really).
@POB must know better

yes the question is if i want a long term for more time possible with her is better to have threesomes with her or only fuck girls whitout her and fuck her only i? but maybe fucking others together with her (threesome foursome etc) can give her variety and not look for anything else or have less attraction in the long term

 

[Beck Bass]

Nah I think she'll think you're hotter if you get threesomes with her @DeepShadow, but dunno about variety, unless she's really bi...

not look for anything else

For that you have to be her man, the one and only she can give herself to, having sex with other girls doesn't matter too much, as long as you're not neglecting her. I broke up with my girl a couple of times due to me wanting to fuck other girls, and her attraction for me only was amped, as far as I know, to the point she's accepting it now. Back on the first time we broke up, she said she wanted to be exclusive, and she didn't even knew I was banging other girls, I told her I couldn't, and she just left my appartment, without even looking back... Now she's chill. Part of that is that she knows I'm here for her no matter what, but that kinda only comes with time. My other ex as well only got more attracted with time, it was just that she got tired of not getting what she wanted out of our relationship (to be fair, there were other issues with her, I wasn't ready to commit anyway, not even banging others).

I can't really tell you what's gonna happen, every girl and every realtionship is different, but as far as attraction goes, banging other girls will only amplify that, as long as she knows you still super attracted to her.

 

[DeepShadow]

Nah I think she'll think you're hotter if you get threesomes with her @DeepShadow, but dunno about variety, unless she's really bi...


For that you have to be her man, the one and only she can give herself to, having sex with other girls doesn't matter too much, as long as you're not neglecting her. I broke up with my girl a couple of times due to me wanting to fuck other girls, and her attraction for me only was amped, as far as I know, to the point she's accepting it now. Back on the first time we broke up, she said she wanted to be exclusive, and she didn't even knew I was banging other girls, I told her I couldn't, and she just left my appartment, without even looking back... Now she's chill. Part of that is that she knows I'm here for her no matter what, but that kinda only comes with time. My other ex as well only got more attracted with time, it was just that she got tired of not getting what she wanted out of our relationship (to be fair, there were other issues with her, I wasn't ready to commit anyway, not even banging others).

I can't really tell you what's gonna happen, every girl and every realtionship is different, but as far as attraction goes, banging other girls will only amplify that, as long as she knows you still super attracted to her.

do you think it was better to do it as soon as possible or wait for months? mine has too much comfort and pain and I think I went too fast

 

[Zoro]

If you let her know there are rules for making a long-term open relationship work, and you might want to try following them too.

Not getting emotionally involved with partners outside your pairing.
Not being sneaky about it. Discreet, but don't lie.
Not discussing it with each other too openly. She can get jealous. I've had girls tell me they won't get jealous, and yet I see their claws start to come out when they know another cat is around.


If she knows you two are emotionally exclusive, then that can set her at ease for a bit. She's gotta feel like the main bitch, the queen, and you're just playing with the harem.

 

[DeepShadow]

If you let her know there are rules for making a long-term open relationship work, and you might want to try following them too.

Not getting emotionally involved with partners outside your pairing.
Not being sneaky about it. Discreet, but don't lie.
Not discussing it with each other too openly. She can get jealous. I've had girls tell me they won't get jealous, and yet I see their claws start to come out when they know another cat is around.


If she knows you two are emotionally exclusive, then that can set her at ease for a bit. She's gotta feel like the main bitch, the queen, and you're just playing with the harem.

I can go with others together with her and the others are just an outlet for the sexual variety but my heart is only for her and during the acts as soon as she feels uncomfortable if she feels it I tell her to stop and tell me what I can not do like kissing each other for example, but she is still too jealous because she was already very insecure with me before starting, and sometimes he tries to tell me to swear sexual fidelity to him but I don't promise her and she cries sometimes

 

[Zoro]

I can go with others together with her and the others are just an outlet for the sexual variety but my heart is only for her and during the acts as soon as she feels uncomfortable if she feels it I tell him to stop and tell me what I can not do like kissing each other for example, but she is still too jealous because she was already very insecure with me before starting, and sometimes he tries to tell me to swear sexual fidelity to him but I don't promise him and he cries sometimes

Some women don't do well with the open relationship setup and you have to put in a lot of effort to make her feel at ease. She will continue to go back and forth about it if she likes you and wants the relationship to go on despite the open part that she is not too keen on...

That's why I keep it discreet. She knows but it's not in her face.

And she knows where she stands with me. Sounds like you're communicating to her that she is the main girl, but like I said, it can take some work to keep her at ease.

You also don't want to keep a girl around that's not compatible with your lifestyle. Might be better for her to let her move on...

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By the way, I know English isn't your first language, but you really should get the HE and SHE words down. HE and HIM refer to a man and SHE and HER refer to a woman. Can be confusing on a dating forum haha.