- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 773
@Tony D, as promised.
Went out solo in my denim jacket last night around 10:30. My plan was to make some new friends early and then branch out to talk to chicks, instead of just clinging to the group like I have the last few weeks. The uber on the way over smelled like BO – 4 stars because the driver was cool at least.
When I arrived I noticed the place was dead – coronavirus – I immediately went in for a drink – and joked to the cute bartender that her job was going to be so easy tonight. She smiled, told me it was boring and then asked me to come back later to make it go faster.
Before going upstairs I had to finish my drink – so I started talking to the bouncer at the stairs. Finished the drink, got his name (and wrote it down in my phone) and headed upstairs. Action time. I was sitting down and noticed a boisterous group of guys sitting next to me. I looked at my phone, feigned a puzzled look and walked over to them, sat down I the empty chair and told them that my friend had just bailed on me because he didn’t want to risk getting coronavirus. I rolled my eyes when saying this as if it was the lamest thing in the world. They all laughed and we introduced ourselves. They were friendly, and I was trying to break into their conversations, but after a short while I felt like I was being a value vampire. I told them I was getting a drink and as soon as I got up to leave, two cute blondes who apparently were with them came back. As luck would have it the two blondes were going to get a drink too.
Two cute blondes
At the bar I confidently asked them if they were with the guys I was just with and then introduced myself. When they found out I didn’t know them and they were surprised and asked who I was here with. Gave them the same “friend bailed” schtick and they loved it and we exchanged names. I made sure the lightly touch the cute one near me (B) and mainly talked to her – I then told them because of my friend bailing I was on a mission to make friends – could have been more flirty here and said something like “and meet cute girls” while looking at them – they told me I already had and that I could always come back and join them later.
After they left, I went and sat down next to do older guys sitting down and told them about my mission, got their names and found out a bit about them.
Two cute younger girls
There were two cute girls sitting behind me, so I told the guys I was going to go talk to them. I went to the girls, told them about my mission – but again I should have told them I was out to meet cute girls as well. The one opposite me looked surprised and skeptical, the one directly to my left was smiling widely but not talking too much – it didn’t seem to be attraction but more a “I can’t believe this is happening, this is so funny”. I didn’t physically engage with the one on my left despite her smiling – it felt wrong for some reason and she looked reaallly young.
I ejected from this set early, went to talk to an Asian guy and girl who were cool, went to the bar again, ran into a guy and chatted. 10 minutes later I went to a large table to engage and he was sitting there and immediately welcomed me to the table. Got to talking with the guys.
Gorgeous pale black-haired girl
After a short while this really cute girl came over and was standing next to me – I knew she wanted me to introduce myself so I did and held her hand, making sure not to shake it. And pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek. She smiled and told me my hands were really cold – does anyone know a fun flirty response to this? It’s something I get a lot. I’m thinking something like “maybe you’re just too hot” with a wink could work.
I sort of fumbled over my words because I didn’t know what to say – she then left to talk to another guy and I think that awkwardness might have contributed to it.
I told the guys I was getting up to get a drink and headed to the bar.
Short sexy brunette
At the bar there was this short, really sexy italian looking brunette (Z). I don’t remember exactly how I engaged her but immediately it was on. We were close and touching each other – at one point her hand was resting in mine on the bar. She pointed out that she was with her “sexually adventurous” friends tonight and pointed them out – telling me that I should join them. When the bartender came over she asked me what I was having and then ordered for me.
But! Suddenly I realized I didn’t have my phone and start freaking out inside. I tell her this and say I’m going to find my phone – she says when I find it to come find her so she can give me her number. After walking around I find it… in my jacket pocket. LOL. I went and found her and sat down, introducing myself to her friends.
Dropping the ball (edit: but not really - apparently she was leaving, not going to the dance floor as she clarified in a text today. I misheard. The whole night I thought she was on the dance floor and went to find her later)
The vibe was a little different with Z this time – maybe she was surprised I came and found her so soon – I’m not sure but she was definitely less flirty now – but maybe because the friends were around. I gave her my phone and asked her to put her number in it. While she was doing this I was chit chatting with the friends – they got up to go dance and asked Z if she was coming. She said a bit later because she was still going through my phone. She told me that she was scrolling through to see how many other girls were in there because she wanted to feel special, or something like that. Ok… that was a bit weird. She then put her number in with a love heart. We then chatted some more about how no one was out – and she commented that “the only people out tonight are horny”. I’m not that dense and knew she was flirting, but she was saying it so platonically and matter of factly – it was weird. After a short while she got up to dance with her friends – and then told me that later on if I hadn’t met another chick, to text her. **now I realize this meant another time, not tonight**
How much more aggressive should I have been here, if I knew at the time that she was leaving? What would you guys have tried saying to keep her there?
Later on I ran into the two cute blondes (including B) again - they were a bit wasted at this point and I got a high five – and they asked me to join the guys on the dancefloor– so I went to the dancefloor. B came out of nowhere, grabs me from behind and starts grinding on me (I think she was very drunk at this point) but as soon as I turn around and recognize her she stops and goes to join the guys. I went to dance with them and all the guys seemed glad to see me, grabbed both the blondes in either arm. But after a while we were just dancing in a circle and I was unsure how to escalate with B – I think it was already too late and I hadn’t built enough rapport with her earlier. I ejected.
Gorgeous strawberry blonde
Out in the smokers area I sat down at a table with a group of guys and a girl. I was losing steam at this point. The girl offers me a smoke and I decline. This gorgeous tall strawberry blonde (S) comes over – she’s the niece of one of the guys. We start chatting – she seems very interested in me and is putting her arm around me, telling me how this was her first time there since she just moved from the country which was a long time coming since she was turning 23 in a few months. I wanted to escalate but.. I was actually a bit afraid of doing it in front of the group of guys since they were very intimidating… Maybe I should have tried to number close and tell her that we can explore my city together. A short while later this other guy who knew S comes over and they start chatting. I eject.
Final moments
After heading back to the dance floor – I made a last ditch effort to find Z, but couldn’t see her – I didn’t want to text her asking where she was because that would be needy.
My social momentum was completely dead at this point. With all the people I'd met earlier in the night drunk and on the dancefloor and everyone else a stranger and drunk, I thought it was too late to do the whole "my friend bailed" schtick again since everyone was right drunk at this point unlike earlier.
I decided to call it a night and left at 1:30 (three hours after I got there). I texted Z the “save my number” text. No response. This morning I realized the number was wrong since there was an extra digit in there – so I texted a few likely numbers and she responded on one of them - we've been texting back and forth today - she's not free tomorrow (Sunday) but I'm going to see if I can set up something during the week.
Lessons:
The whole "my friend bailed" trick really opens people up to you - I liked how confident I was with it and acted like it wasn't a big deal that I was going up talking to randoms. Now, instead of saying that I'm on a mission to make friends, I want to try being more flirty and try saying something like "and meet cute girls" since I still had a platonic vibe.
Don't drink so much, ffs. This is a "lesson" every FR I write but it's so hard not to get a couple in you to relax.
I had good social momentum at the start but lost it at the end when the people I met were all drunk on the dancefloor. It feels like it was a waste - but I realize if I'd built more rapport with the girls beforehand it could have been fun with them and I might have had a chance.
Regarding what times to target - I used this rough plan and it seemed to work. And it lined up with my experience in that later on in the night (after 12) waay more people started rocking up, and they were drunk, so I just felt that it was going to be much more difficult and that killed my momentum. But again, probably should have stuck it out and tried.
Went out solo in my denim jacket last night around 10:30. My plan was to make some new friends early and then branch out to talk to chicks, instead of just clinging to the group like I have the last few weeks. The uber on the way over smelled like BO – 4 stars because the driver was cool at least.
When I arrived I noticed the place was dead – coronavirus – I immediately went in for a drink – and joked to the cute bartender that her job was going to be so easy tonight. She smiled, told me it was boring and then asked me to come back later to make it go faster.
Before going upstairs I had to finish my drink – so I started talking to the bouncer at the stairs. Finished the drink, got his name (and wrote it down in my phone) and headed upstairs. Action time. I was sitting down and noticed a boisterous group of guys sitting next to me. I looked at my phone, feigned a puzzled look and walked over to them, sat down I the empty chair and told them that my friend had just bailed on me because he didn’t want to risk getting coronavirus. I rolled my eyes when saying this as if it was the lamest thing in the world. They all laughed and we introduced ourselves. They were friendly, and I was trying to break into their conversations, but after a short while I felt like I was being a value vampire. I told them I was getting a drink and as soon as I got up to leave, two cute blondes who apparently were with them came back. As luck would have it the two blondes were going to get a drink too.
Two cute blondes
At the bar I confidently asked them if they were with the guys I was just with and then introduced myself. When they found out I didn’t know them and they were surprised and asked who I was here with. Gave them the same “friend bailed” schtick and they loved it and we exchanged names. I made sure the lightly touch the cute one near me (B) and mainly talked to her – I then told them because of my friend bailing I was on a mission to make friends – could have been more flirty here and said something like “and meet cute girls” while looking at them – they told me I already had and that I could always come back and join them later.
After they left, I went and sat down next to do older guys sitting down and told them about my mission, got their names and found out a bit about them.
Two cute younger girls
There were two cute girls sitting behind me, so I told the guys I was going to go talk to them. I went to the girls, told them about my mission – but again I should have told them I was out to meet cute girls as well. The one opposite me looked surprised and skeptical, the one directly to my left was smiling widely but not talking too much – it didn’t seem to be attraction but more a “I can’t believe this is happening, this is so funny”. I didn’t physically engage with the one on my left despite her smiling – it felt wrong for some reason and she looked reaallly young.
I ejected from this set early, went to talk to an Asian guy and girl who were cool, went to the bar again, ran into a guy and chatted. 10 minutes later I went to a large table to engage and he was sitting there and immediately welcomed me to the table. Got to talking with the guys.
Gorgeous pale black-haired girl
After a short while this really cute girl came over and was standing next to me – I knew she wanted me to introduce myself so I did and held her hand, making sure not to shake it. And pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek. She smiled and told me my hands were really cold – does anyone know a fun flirty response to this? It’s something I get a lot. I’m thinking something like “maybe you’re just too hot” with a wink could work.
I sort of fumbled over my words because I didn’t know what to say – she then left to talk to another guy and I think that awkwardness might have contributed to it.
I told the guys I was getting up to get a drink and headed to the bar.
Short sexy brunette
At the bar there was this short, really sexy italian looking brunette (Z). I don’t remember exactly how I engaged her but immediately it was on. We were close and touching each other – at one point her hand was resting in mine on the bar. She pointed out that she was with her “sexually adventurous” friends tonight and pointed them out – telling me that I should join them. When the bartender came over she asked me what I was having and then ordered for me.
But! Suddenly I realized I didn’t have my phone and start freaking out inside. I tell her this and say I’m going to find my phone – she says when I find it to come find her so she can give me her number. After walking around I find it… in my jacket pocket. LOL. I went and found her and sat down, introducing myself to her friends.
Dropping the ball (edit: but not really - apparently she was leaving, not going to the dance floor as she clarified in a text today. I misheard. The whole night I thought she was on the dance floor and went to find her later)
The vibe was a little different with Z this time – maybe she was surprised I came and found her so soon – I’m not sure but she was definitely less flirty now – but maybe because the friends were around. I gave her my phone and asked her to put her number in it. While she was doing this I was chit chatting with the friends – they got up to go dance and asked Z if she was coming. She said a bit later because she was still going through my phone. She told me that she was scrolling through to see how many other girls were in there because she wanted to feel special, or something like that. Ok… that was a bit weird. She then put her number in with a love heart. We then chatted some more about how no one was out – and she commented that “the only people out tonight are horny”. I’m not that dense and knew she was flirting, but she was saying it so platonically and matter of factly – it was weird. After a short while she got up to dance with her friends – and then told me that later on if I hadn’t met another chick, to text her. **now I realize this meant another time, not tonight**
How much more aggressive should I have been here, if I knew at the time that she was leaving? What would you guys have tried saying to keep her there?
Later on I ran into the two cute blondes (including B) again - they were a bit wasted at this point and I got a high five – and they asked me to join the guys on the dancefloor– so I went to the dancefloor. B came out of nowhere, grabs me from behind and starts grinding on me (I think she was very drunk at this point) but as soon as I turn around and recognize her she stops and goes to join the guys. I went to dance with them and all the guys seemed glad to see me, grabbed both the blondes in either arm. But after a while we were just dancing in a circle and I was unsure how to escalate with B – I think it was already too late and I hadn’t built enough rapport with her earlier. I ejected.
Gorgeous strawberry blonde
Out in the smokers area I sat down at a table with a group of guys and a girl. I was losing steam at this point. The girl offers me a smoke and I decline. This gorgeous tall strawberry blonde (S) comes over – she’s the niece of one of the guys. We start chatting – she seems very interested in me and is putting her arm around me, telling me how this was her first time there since she just moved from the country which was a long time coming since she was turning 23 in a few months. I wanted to escalate but.. I was actually a bit afraid of doing it in front of the group of guys since they were very intimidating… Maybe I should have tried to number close and tell her that we can explore my city together. A short while later this other guy who knew S comes over and they start chatting. I eject.
Final moments
After heading back to the dance floor – I made a last ditch effort to find Z, but couldn’t see her – I didn’t want to text her asking where she was because that would be needy.
My social momentum was completely dead at this point. With all the people I'd met earlier in the night drunk and on the dancefloor and everyone else a stranger and drunk, I thought it was too late to do the whole "my friend bailed" schtick again since everyone was right drunk at this point unlike earlier.
I decided to call it a night and left at 1:30 (three hours after I got there). I texted Z the “save my number” text. No response. This morning I realized the number was wrong since there was an extra digit in there – so I texted a few likely numbers and she responded on one of them - we've been texting back and forth today - she's not free tomorrow (Sunday) but I'm going to see if I can set up something during the week.
Lessons:
The whole "my friend bailed" trick really opens people up to you - I liked how confident I was with it and acted like it wasn't a big deal that I was going up talking to randoms. Now, instead of saying that I'm on a mission to make friends, I want to try being more flirty and try saying something like "and meet cute girls" since I still had a platonic vibe.
Don't drink so much, ffs. This is a "lesson" every FR I write but it's so hard not to get a couple in you to relax.
I had good social momentum at the start but lost it at the end when the people I met were all drunk on the dancefloor. It feels like it was a waste - but I realize if I'd built more rapport with the girls beforehand it could have been fun with them and I might have had a chance.
Regarding what times to target - I used this rough plan and it seemed to work. And it lined up with my experience in that later on in the night (after 12) waay more people started rocking up, and they were drunk, so I just felt that it was going to be much more difficult and that killed my momentum. But again, probably should have stuck it out and tried.
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