Short guy attracting tall girl dilemma

[Witcher]

Hi everyone

No, folks, this post will not be another post asking how to attract girls as a short guy or how to attract taller girls. This matter has been discussed many times.

On the contrary, this post will be about trying to solve some issues I have faced after having successfully attracted a girl as a Hobbit (I am little bit under 1m70), taller or not.

Of course, for attraction purposes (and many other aspects of life) being tall is an advantage and there is no denial in here.

However as a short guy, through good game, fitness, lifestyle, and other qualities, I have been (to my surprise and delight) able many times to attract enough attractive girls to not see it as a big problem. Well except in 2 very specific case

Case 1 : From Online

As my online games improved thanks to Colt original course and @Chase POF article, getting dates online is not a big issue.

The problem is when I meet the girl IRL, I can sense that she was expecting a much taller guy and is now a little bit disappointed.

I thought about revealing info in my profile or during our chats but I also know that by doing that many girls would have had overlooked not even bothering to have the conversation which is my strength. Another solution may be to reveal it later during the conversation when connection is more solidified.

But I don't know, what would be your comments and thoughts?

Case 2 : When walking with a taller girl outside

Let's say I am on a date with a pretty girl and we are walking together. This sight can confuse or bother some people whether adults, children, or teenagers who may make a comment or make a joke about it.

Even if It doesn't happen that much and doesn't affect me, I know it can affect the girl or the general vibe and the outcome of the seduction.

So I need to have a good solution to face and respond to such a situation, ideally one that may even make her more attracted. A solution based on the Law of Least Effort.

As for now, I found only the following rules of thumb but they are just "okay" in my experience and lack something :
1-Have seated first dates without much walking
2- No holding hands or crossed arms when walking outside
3- If some dumb folks comment on it on the street, just ignore it, if it's a child or teenager just have a small laugh.
4-In another social sitting context, my wits usually save me, as long as I don't get defensive the person slices herself.

So what would be your recommendation here?

I am aware of the possibility that I 'am just overthinking it and it's just insecurity and imagination playing tricks on me. So guys if you feel it's the case, please call me on it.

I want your tights about this issue since I can't count how many attracted girls I have sent on auto-rejection by not following through the seduction process because of the possibility of these two issues happening and a way to handle them that I trust.

This may be the post I hesitated the most to write but here I am facing my dragons again!

Thanks

 

[topcat]

We’re about the same height, and i’ve dated many girls over 6ft.

The key is to give them the feeling of being a small girl. That’s all they really want. Dominate in the bedroom, throw them around. Ignore the height difference. Tell them what to do.

And ignore everybody who point and looks in the street. Walk hand in hand, or arm in arm. Why would you let the reactions of strangers affect how you treat your woman?

When i’m with my women i barely notice the outside world and to the guys that have made the odd comment it’s usually out of jealousy and i smirk at them.

Do the same.

 

[Zoro]

Use a mind trick.

“You’re so dominant and badass that your girls are sometimes taller than you. It blows people’s minds. Their reactions are a mix of awe, jealousy, and small minded pettiness that comes from a lack of self worth.”

The way you talk to yourself is important. I do think you’re overthinking it. You’re letting vague pressure from society to fit in a nice neat box other people will feel comfortable with.

But you’re just a modern day Napoleon, and you pave your own way.

There’s another rule you should add to your list. “If I don’t make a big deal out of it, she won’t”.

I’m skinny, hairy, have a slight snaggle tooth and balding, and I haven’t noticed anyone say anything ever about these things. And I do beach game. Of course, I do my best to look good too.

Actually I pointed out my snaggle tooth to a GF who I dated for 8 years. She never even noticed it. She was also taller than me in heels, also felt funny, and I would just laugh about it and tease her lightly.

I have a cute friend who has a snaggle tooth, she showed me one day and I never noticed it despite seeing her smile all the time and knowing her for years.

Make people forget your height by forgetting it yourself.

 

[gameboy]

Use a mind trick.

“You’re so dominant and badass that your girls are sometimes taller than you. It blows people’s minds. Their reactions are a mix of awe, jealousy, and small minded pettiness that comes from a lack of self worth.”

Awesome! I think I'm gonna steal that line to neutralize limiting beliefs regarding age difference.

“I'm so dominant and badass that girls just don't care if I'm several decades older than them. I'm a rock star in incognito mode. It blows people’s minds, but for me it's so normal to be with any girl that I am attracted to, nobody will ever even think twice about it."

 

[Will_V]

Hi everyone

No, folks, this post will not be another post asking how to attract girls as a short guy or how to attract taller girls. This matter has been discussed many times.

On the contrary, this post will be about trying to solve some issues I have faced after having successfully attracted a girl as a Hobbit (I am little bit under 1m70), taller or not.

Of course, for attraction purposes (and many other aspects of life) being tall is an advantage and there is no denial in here.

However as a short guy, through good game, fitness, lifestyle, and other qualities, I have been (to my surprise and delight) able many times to attract enough attractive girls to not see it as a big problem. Well except in 2 very specific case

Case 1 : From Online

As my online games improved thanks to Colt original course and @Chase POF article, getting dates online is not a big issue.

The problem is when I meet the girl IRL, I can sense that she was expecting a much taller guy and is now a little bit disappointed.

I thought about revealing info in my profile or during our chats but I also know that by doing that many girls would have had overlooked not even bothering to have the conversation which is my strength. Another solution may be to reveal it later during the conversation when connection is more solidified.

But I don't know, what would be your comments and thoughts?

Case 2 : When walking with a taller girl outside

Let's say I am on a date with a pretty girl and we are walking together. This sight can confuse or bother some people whether adults, children, or teenagers who may make a comment or make a joke about it.

Even if It doesn't happen that much and doesn't affect me, I know it can affect the girl or the general vibe and the outcome of the seduction.

So I need to have a good solution to face and respond to such a situation, ideally one that may even make her more attracted. A solution based on the Law of Least Effort.

As for now, I found only the following rules of thumb but they are just "okay" in my experience and lack something :
1-Have seated first dates without much walking
2- No holding hands or crossed arms when walking outside
3- If some dumb folks comment on it on the street, just ignore it, if it's a child or teenager just have a small laugh.
4-In another social sitting context, my wits usually save me, as long as I don't get defensive the person slices herself.

So what would be your recommendation here?

I am aware of the possibility that I 'am just overthinking it and it's just insecurity and imagination playing tricks on me. So guys if you feel it's the case, please call me on it.

I want your tights about this issue since I can't count how many attracted girls I have sent on auto-rejection by not following through the seduction process because of the possibility of these two issues happening and a way to handle them that I trust.

This may be the post I hesitated the most to write but here I am facing my dragons again!

Thanks

The problem here is in your framing. In both the cases you have framed the problem as feelings that other people are having that you have to take care of.

Let's start with Case 2, since the answer is the most obvious. What any third party thinks, or whether they snicker or make jokes, is irrelevant. If your girl is reacting to it, either she will get over it eventually or she will start shit testing you, which resolves the problem into one between you and her only (which is where it belongs) where you will simply have to come through with a dominant and steady frame that will eventually reassure her that, since there is no chance of you being shaken, she has nothing to worry about.

In Case 1, it's going to be a bit more unnerving since she's uninvested and it seems easy that she might get the wrong first impression of you. So you can't really ignore it, but neither is reacting to it going to help. The answer is to simply move forward and be an attractive enough guy in every possible way that she eventually realizes it's a minor issue. Maybe for some girls it will be a dealbreaker but then again those girls were never going to like you anyway (since first of all it's probably an excuse for incompatibility to begin with, and secondly girls can simply have preferences, the same way they have for every other attribute a guy has).

I'm sure you have preferences too right? Maybe you like blondes or brunettes, maybe you like latinas with smooth chocolatey skin or maybe you like freckly europeans, maybe you like big butts or maybe you like small butts, maybe you like little lips or big lips, the list goes on. Some days you might be willing to entertain something you usually don't like, and some days you might not be in the mood for anything but what's on your list. So it is for women. You can only control the variables that are under your control - of which there are many, and mistakes with which it is always possible to blame on things you can't control, to please your ego.

In the case of short guys: the problem I have noticed is that they are typically self-incriminating. Because they have already categorized themselves, any move to dominate them or to put them down instantly sticks like shit to a blanket, and they become stuck in a position of responding to provocations, either by emotionally reacting, or trying to amog, or trying to joke or 'befriend' their way out of some imagined corner, or whatever it is. All you have to do is one small move and they are spinning their wheels for half an hour. The problem is that they perceive that their situation is one that they must solve by some sort of activity, rather than simply accepting their height and continuing to live their life the way they would if they were whatever other height they wished to be.

This is a problem, especially for women, because women intuitively perceive and understand that a guy who is insecure is one who she cannot submit to and relax with and open up to. Not only because he struggles to manage his own position in the world (and hers along with it) but every woman knows that she is a lightning rod for all kinds of men's insecurities - her mere presence, and even her innocent reactions to things make all kinds of men question themselves and struggle with their own identity. So a guy who is already near the edge of his confidence is one who is likely to be very destabilized if she gets involved with him and may do all sorts of unexpected and perhaps unpleasant things. That is why trying to be a comedian about this sort of thing (like Kevin Hart for example) simply does not work, because comedy does not mask insecurity any more than banging something masks the words you don't want someone to hear, it simply highlights even more that something is being hidden. If you cannot be simply calm and unmoved by something, then by default it has some sort of control over you.

The only way to deal with problems you cannot solve is to simply accept them and move on, and continue to make all the best moves you can make on the chess board. A woman doesn't need perfection, what she does need is a man who cannot be diverted from the path he has set out for himself, even by her, or much less by anyone else. She will always be able to see your height, that you cannot control, sitting down or trying to mask it in any other way won't change anything. But the question is whether she will see someone in you on whom height or any other insecurity has no leverage, who calmly faces and deals with obstacles to the best of his ability, and moves inexorably towards his goals. Because that is someone she can trust to be emotionally and physically vulnerable with. That is what ignites her desire to submit.

The strength and steadiness with which you are able to maintain your path in the face of risk and uncertainty is the same as that which she believes you will be able to muster in support of her once she is relying fully on you. And every woman knows that she will end up in a compromising position sooner or later.

So stop trying to find solutions for the reactions of other people. The world is not perfect and is full of problems of one kind or another, some that you already have and others you will end up with, some more crude and inelegant than others. The question is, can you create a reality for yourself that is above all of that? If you can, you won't have any problems inviting women into it.

 

[Michael Chief]

The problem is when I meet the girl IRL, I can sense that she was expecting a much taller guy and is now a little bit disappointed.

I thought about revealing info in my profile or during our chats but I also know that by doing that many girls would have had overlooked not even bothering to have the conversation which is my strength. Another solution may be to reveal it later during the conversation when connection is more solidified.

But I don't know, what would be your comments and thoughts?

From an old blog post of mine: "The topic of height keeps coming up because the internet told me it was important. Well… it’s not important. At least not to literally every girl I’ve matched with so far (plenty of them hot including all 3 of these girls). Or maybe I’m just charismatic enough for girls to not give a shit about it."

In my early dating app tests I looked for a chance to bring up height (I'm about your height) before meeting, but after a little bit of fun conversation. A few women rejected me on the basis of height in later tests, but the majority of women still responded in favorable ways like this. Later on I found decent results making funny exaggerations saying stuff like I'm as short as a christmas elf, etc. Only brought it up once per girl and it never came up again, and it bypassed any chance of them looking disappointed when meeting in person.

I don't put it in the profile because it just gives more reasons for women to swipe left. Gotta maximize the leads at the beginning of the funnel since some women who would automatically swipe left on you for whatever reason could end up being very attracted to you if they gave you a shot.

 

[Police dog]

i’ve dated many girls over 6ft.

off topic but... where do you find them, lol? I am slightly over 6ft myself and I can count on fingers how many times in my whole life I've SEEN women taller than me, I can tell you rn actually: 3 times. And I live in the area with a lot of people with Scandinavian/German ancestry.

 

[topcat]

off topic but... where do you find them, lol? I am slightly over 6ft myself and I can count on fingers how many times in my whole life I've SEEN women taller than me, I can tell you rn actually: 3 times. And I live in the area with a lot of people with Scandinavian/German ancestry.

London. Funnily enough, none of the women i’ve dated from germany or scandinavia were over 6 feet. They can be tall for women but not exceedingly tall. I’ve dated five women at or over 6 feet, mainly irish/english, mixed with southern european, and one Hungarian.

 

[Skills]

We’re about the same height, and i’ve dated many girls over 6ft.

The key is to give them the feeling of being a small girl. That’s all they really want. Dominate in the bedroom, throw them around. Ignore the height difference. Tell them what to do.

And ignore everybody who point and looks in the street. Walk hand in hand, or arm in arm. Why would you let the reactions of strangers affect how you treat your woman?

When i’m with my women i barely notice the outside world and to the guys that have made the odd comment it’s usually out of jealousy and i smirk at them.

Do the same.

Maybe you should write a post on how short guy date taller women... I personally seen the successful short guys date same height or shorter

 

[topcat]

Maybe you should write a post on how short guy date taller women... I personally seen the successful short guys date same height or shorter

Good idea. That surprises me, as the majority of women i’ve been with have been taller than me. I’ll start drafting something…

 

[Witcher]

Hi everyone,

Golden stuff here

@topcat

And ignore everybody who point and looks in the street. Walk hand in hand, or arm in arm. Why would you let the reactions of strangers affect how you treat your woman?

When i’m with my women i barely notice the outside world and to the guys that have made the odd comment it’s usually out of jealousy and i smirk at them.

@Will_V

The problem here is in your framing. In both the cases you have framed the problem as feelings that other people are having that you have to take care of.

Let's start with Case 2, since the answer is the most obvious. What any third party thinks, or whether they snicker or make jokes, is irrelevant. If your girl is reacting to it, either she will get over it eventually or she will start shit testing you, which resolves the problem into one between you and her only (which is where it belongs) where you will simply have to come through with a dominant and steady frame that will eventually reassure her that, since there is no chance of you being shaken, she has nothing to worry about.

Ignoring and going on with the process is what I have been doing so far and it got me results. However, I was wondering if a more responsive attitude may be required in some cases. Many articles on the site about answering social challenges advocate for both approaches according to the context.

I remember once In a club I was in semi-isolation with a tall girl. And at a moment she put her hand on me and told me how tall are you? I answered by question telling her, how she weight. She said something around 55 KG I then lifted her and made her swing, teasing her that she was so light for her height, when I put her down we started kissing!

But you're right in the sense that It's also an inner thing. Where someone has to come 'REALLY AT PEACE' with it.

@Wick

“You’re so dominant and badass that your girls are sometimes taller than you. It blows people’s minds. Their reactions are a mix of awe, jealousy, and small minded pettiness that comes from a lack of self worth.

That's the frame I am working on, the post is about trying to make it more solid.

@Michael Chief
Do you bring them purposefully or opportunistically?

 

[Michael Chief]

@Michael Chief
Do you bring them purposefully or opportunistically?

Both. Purposefully if I'm trying to test and get data. Opportunistically if I don't really care. Either way works.

 

[topcat]

And at a moment she put her hand on me and told me how tall are you? I answered by question telling her, how she weight.

Feels too reactive for my liking, you’re short. If it’s not a big deal then why the need to cut her down to size?

When I’m asked, I either say I have no idea or say something hella short like 5’5 or just “tiny”. They usually fill in by estimating my height and we continue flirting..

It’s fucking crazy how much dudes care about height, like it boggles my mind. I honestly don’t understand it and i’m a midget.

I’ll be writing an in depth post on this soon..

Dudes are strange creatures. God bless women for being attracted to them, cuz i couldn’t do it..