Calls & Texts Short post: "ummm don't think so" to my soft close after lay-minus...

[Skjöldr]

Hey guys so this is the girl

This is the texting:

5th of april
10.22 Me: Good morning *sun emoji*
10.39 Her: hi
11.12 Me: think you cursed my room (was gonna say how i knocked her water over from the night before and go down that road...)
Her: no reply
8th of april
08.12 Me: How did those midterms go?
11.50 Her: Well, they're not really over yet...but stressful
13.42 Me: Sounds like you need some relaxing massage
13.43 Me: When are they over?
19.45 Her: ummm don't think so
19.45 Her: End of next week

Idk how to follow up with this. If she's busy with some exams maybe i should wait with pushing for a meet up in the middle of it ala "Okay, good luck, i'll be in touch" and then text her end of next week (but that's over one week poof and i think she mentioned something about going back to her home country soon, perhaps planned out for after the mid-terms) or i could say something like "That's a long stressful time, you should take a few hours in the middle of that to catch a breath". She doesn't seem too keen. I didn't full fuck her, i only fingered a bit and then she blew me off into her mouth.

How do you think i should proceed?
Edit: with her logistics i think it is better to push for a meet up in the middle of her exams

 

[Will_V]

Offering a massage to a girl you haven't banged seems like it could go wrong easy, and she was already low-investment plus you didn't close the deal before which is already a minus for you. Also, offering a massage is high attainability and very low investment for her, so it seems you just want to bang and your qualification of her is non existent.

I think it would have been better to come up with something like cooking or board games at yours, show her you understand she's stressed and give her a little something different to unwind, but make it seem like she has to bring something to the table as well.

 

[Skills]

Good in the use of soft close pre hard close, you can clearly see if you would have used the hard close she would have rejected you. The soft close however was bad, first the timing of the soft close was totally off, you went for it in a low investment situation, I would have shown empathy on the midterm stress, then find out when they will be over then soft close...

 

[Skjöldr]

Good in the use of soft close pre hard close, you can clearly see if you would have used the hard close she would have rejected you. The soft close however was bad, first the timing of the soft close was totally off, you went for it in a low investment situation, I would have shown empathy on the midterm stress, then find out when they will be over then soft close...

How would i take it from here with what i got? I wanna nail her before she goes back and that might have to be in the middle of her exams

 

[Skjöldr]

I could cut thread and go "When do you go back to Latvia?"

 

[Will_V]

Send her a funny meme about exams?

I think you're too focused on logistics and nailing her and it's seeping into your conversation. At this point you haven't even got momentum going with the text - in the space of 10 messages you posted, she already ignored you once and verbally rejected an offer. I think you should be focused on rapport right now.

Once you have a bit of rapport, I would dig into her schedule and invite her to something fun, personal and low key that's easy for her to say yes to without too much pressure.

Basically, you need to make her want to be with you right now, and I don't see a lot of that going on. You're sending a lot of questions and offers and not getting a lot back.

 

[Skjöldr]

Okay i sent her an exam meme

 

[Skills]

Okay i sent her an exam meme

I personally don't use memes, kind of try hard, what I do is every day keep sending the morning with the sun emoji, but yeah your subcomunication on trying to meet to nail her comming across which is pushing her away... the will suggestion to step back is valid

 

[Velasco]

I personally don't use memes, kind of try hard

thing is you say you would build empathy with her then go for soft close.

what meme does is offer something relatable that is funny were you can share a laugh then feel out the situation

here for example

she can say, "all of them" * laughing emoji* X 3. then you spike answer based off that -> lead to soft close....

 

[Skjöldr]

https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/fdczov Sent this one to her
And then i wrote "Problem solved"

 

[Skills]

Everyone has their style, many seducers use memes, when women use memes on me , I personally don't like them, and I think they look to me try hard, is not congruent with my style... also you have the risk of the girl not getting the humor or find it not funny

 

[Will_V]

Everyone has their style, many seducers use memes, when women use memes on me , I personally don't like them, and I think they look to me try hard, is not congruent with my style... also you have the risk of the girl not getting the humor or find it not funny

Very true, it must be congruent with your personality. But I don't think it's a risk, even if she doesn't find it hilarious it's not as if she won't know how to respond.

I do think it's always good to send something either vaguely sexual (not explicit, veeery implicit) or something that is related to women so her interest can get spiked thinking about how you perceive women/her. Even better if it identifies something specifically you've qualified her on or teased her about etc.

I don't send a lot of humorous stuff (my humor veers toward the cynical anyway), but this is a case where I probably would, especially after things cooling off a bit and her being stuck in her books.

 

[Skjöldr]

she didn't reply..

 

[Skjöldr]

Should i just shoot her a "If you're not interested let me know and i'll stop trying" in a few days?

 

[Glow]

i would do more along what skills write

Apologise for being insensitive (you are several times in a row and she feels this)
Support her in her stress situation (or emphasise as skills write)

"hey, i realise ive been a bit insensitive here, sorry. Any thing i can do to help w the exam stress?"
then ask a lil into it in smooth ways - elicit her situaiton and deduct what is best and what is manageable more indirectly.

but that wa before the meme which seems clumsy and risky to me since youve both firstly ignore her resistance to sex and then her current stress. And then send a meme? and your initial text was confusing to me. Look at it from what she tells you is up w her. A meme might work with some people but girsl under stress are often very closed down in their heads, not finding it funny to her stress situation. So i would prescribe that most would react badly.

Always communicate from where she is in the moment. Not where she was yesterday.

Note that most of your texts are blind to what she signals to you. The meme is unharmonic in this situation.

 

[Velasco]

Note that most of your texts are blind to what she signals to you. Even the meme is unharmonic in this situation

100%.

Thing is, Peter was just following Skills basic text guide algorithm.

Where he said to send one message (Peter asking about her midterms), her blah blah, then send soft close to test the waters

Sample:

hey Maria how is your day going and how are those uni classes treating you? (or something like that related to the meet or convos in this case the dude met the girl in the uni...

her: blah blah

pua: You should take a break from all that study and have a little break with a handsome hot guy = soft close/testing waters/pinging/shit testing..

Peter's mistake (not his fault cuz hes still new) was not knowing in advance, that he didnt need to test the waters to know that she would reject his soft close (the no reply/lack of curiosity about his "cursed my room" comment). This is just lack of experience, but Peter: you dont need to "test the waters" to know if the coffee is hot or not, when you see steam coming out from it, right?

So before any soft closing attempts, he should be relatable/empathy to her situation. This is where my meme comes in (which is more tailored for her situation (she is stressed out about exams....therefore shes wants to do well and will therefore easily relate). Peter's meme about leaving the test page blank is unrelatable to her situation).

 

[Glow]

100%.

Thing is, Peter was just following Skills basic text guide algorithm.

Where he said to send one message (Peter asking about her midterms), her blah blah, then send soft close to test the waters

Peter's mistake (not his fault cuz hes still new) was not knowing in advance, that he didnt need to test the waters to know that she would reject his soft close (the no reply/lack of curiosity about his "cursed my room" comment). This is just lack of experience, but Peter: you dont need to "test the waters" to know if the coffee is hot or not, when you see steam coming out from it, right?

So before any soft closing attempts, he should be relatable/empathy to her situation. This is where my meme comes in (which is more tailored for her situation (she is stressed out about exams....therefore shes wants to do well). Peter's meme about leaving the test page blank is unrelatable to her situation).

yup agreed on texts. Yours was a great way to emphasize as it provides her w a very relatable meme/situation. Funny rpo-style.
thus more harmonic to her situation and lifting her smile. peters choice is... quirky-odd.

And this is the problem extended - @Phoenix gets in his own way due to him shooting blindly which is a recurrent problem. Its about your core motivation @Phoenix - what drives you here. Your Impatience. It removes access to see her properly and think better. Which will enable you to do less once you get it. Been there done that too btw

And this comes across from his meet with her. + across several faulty texts - three in a row prob. after the "good morning smiley sun" one which is super.

Skills approach prob works well - i havent checked it, but i trust hes field tested it well. And from what i see skills and i are on the same page w empathising to her first text. but if youre coming from even a good "standard approach" that does not depart in where she was when they left each other and you engage with no attention to her then you loose out.

thing is
you wanna initiate texting from the place where you left her. and here you have to see through things to really see her reality.
U can make faults
but not continuedly

as ive said before - Focus on the girl not the lay

 

[Skills]

100%.

Thing is, Peter was just following Skills basic text guide algorithm.

Where he said to send one message (Peter asking about her midterms), her blah blah, then send soft close to test the waters

Peter's mistake (not his fault cuz hes still new) was not knowing in advance, that he didnt need to test the waters to know that she would reject his soft close (the no reply/lack of curiosity about his "cursed my room" comment). This is just lack of experience, but Peter: you dont need to "test the waters" to know if the coffee is hot or not, when you see steam coming out from it, right?

So before any soft closing attempts, he should be relatable/empathy to her situation. This is where my meme comes in (which is more tailored for her situation (she is stressed out about exams....therefore shes wants to do well and will therefore easily relate). Peter's meme about leaving the test page blank is unrelatable to her situation).

As will/glow kind of said his mistake was lack of empathy and he INCORRECTLY tested the water with an ASD history prone girl with a massage(hey wanna fuck????), this was a mistake.... Finally, as i said about memes, you can see why i don't like them... By the way, i had the EXACT SITUATION, with a girl that is now my MAIN, the moved that work for me was to back off..... (the onitis one)....

how did he follow my altharithem if i don't use memes specially to ping?? How did he follow my altherithem testing waters at a low investment point??

Just lol he follow your meme advice and as i predicted it backfired as a ping....


former onitis now fipped:Heyyyy. Sorry didn't text. I've had a friend in town. How are u. ?

me: Omg is my sexy dancing nurse! Mama there is nothing you need to apologize for, I have been super busy myself and I was about to text you the other day, my friend asked me yesterday about you... I am not doing good cause I missed you, how are you, and have you been practicing naked in the mirror


former onitis now flipped: Aweeeee. Yes been dancing everytime I get a chance.

former onitis now flipped:I am working now and leaving in 30 mins.

me: you should take a brake from all that hard work and dance with a sexy latin guy (SOFT CLOSE)

former onitis now flipped: Mmmmm

^ I really did not understand the mmmm for the soft close, since i had onitis, and i was out of the forum (ip banned supposedly by mistake but on purpose if you know what i mean), i had to rely on women to interpret the mmmmm (oh the silly things mild onitis make you do)

so i went for a safe face weird called to action (i really did not know what the "friend was" till now i realized it was an ex boyfriend that was in the friendzone but she did not want to be in an awkward situation since she thought i would find the situation weird and complicated)

so since this girl was a shit texter ( medical field, former exes did not like to text etc... get to the point style texting) and i put the mmmm a low investment effort, i got the hint so i wanted her bad same situation as peter.....

I got desperate and sent this:


me: sexy nurse in case you are not too tired and want to come out i am going to be at roxys (local club were we met) around 11

former onitis now flipped: is that your favorite spot? i would but my friend is in town till tomorrow and we are going around everywhere

^ it took that as a no, low investment,, so i radio silence did not answer....(at this point i did not have the intelligence i described about her texting style and reasoning that i explained)

10 days later

she ping me

former onitis now flipped: hey sweety

me: hey sexy dancing nurse! what are you doing up so late

former onitis now flipped: lol (kissing emoji) thinking about sexy latin diesel

me: i was going to say where were your fingers when you did, but that would be too much! so i am going to say awww! blushing!





problem with peter is what glow says:

And this is the problem extended - @Phoenix gets in his own way due to him shooting blindly which is a recurrent problem. Its about your core motivation @Phoenix - what drives you here. Your Impatience. It removes access to see her properly and think better. Which will enable you to do less once you get it. Been there done that too btw

^ with practice and time it will get better, but this usually happens as well (happened to me)... in cases were you have a girl that is weird interested, let you escalate and usually did not let you close... for some reason causes in seducers weird mild onitis, and gives impatience.... (happened to me, but in my case my experience of punishing low investment worked, by letting her know that i am interested but putting her ball in her court with the radio silence for not complying)


p.s. @Phoenix please read this again, had to edit the texts a bunch of times, cause the text were old...

 

[Velasco]

Just lol he follow your meme advice and as i predicted it backfired as a ping....

this is the exact reaction i expected when peter shared his meme....facepalm i know skills is know gonna talk shit about this now...

Let me just remind you of what one very smart guy once posted here said:

skills wtf get to the point.... This totally happens all the time is confirmation bias! I see it a lot in the seduction community:

Very successful naturals going out with community guys that are intermediate = Puas suck (i used to think this for years)

Very successful puas going out with mediocre naturals = naturals suck.

Very successful direct guys going out with mediocre indirect guys = indirect guys suck and vice versa

Very attractive serious guys going out with mediocre funny guys = humor does not get you laid

Socializing - The fallacy of seduction success....

So I always write a blog and/or a post, based on an observation, my life, the field or something going on... So the sequence is, i usually make a post then get feedback then usually turn it into a youtube video..... Recently i made a goal of try to do a youtube a week, but it has been 2 weeks...

www.skilledseducer.com

how did he follow my altharithem if i don't use memes specially to ping??

Can't believe I have to do this but...

Peter: How did those midterms go?
Skills: hey Maria how is your day going and how are those uni classes treating you? (or something like that related to the meet or convos in this case the dude met the girl in the uni...
Peter's girl: Well, they're not really over yet...but stressful
Skills' girl: blah blah
Peter: Sounds like you need some relaxing massage
Skills: You should take a break from all that study and have a little break with a handsome hot guy = soft close/testing waters/pinging/shit testing..

 

[Skjöldr]

Yes guys. I was very impatient with her. Actually contrary to what you said, alot of my texting was, atleast intentionally, to show empathy for her. I texted her good morning to not make her feel used, i text her how the mid terms are going. All to show her that there is no need to feel ashamed, it's all cool, i'm not a dickhead. Maybe alot of the texts were garbage, but i just tried bringing her joy in a stressful time. Also ya, the massage text was trash.

I was very impatient with her but honestly she has been unresponsive and aloof over text since we were together only dropping a text a day and idk it just messed with my brain like @Skills says with girls who are weird interested, it's like, my dick was right on top of her pussy and didn't let it in and now i'm just desperate to get a second time where i can successfully put it in.

@Glow i sent the message you wrote about being sorry for being insensitive. I didn't ignore her resistance to sex, what do you mean? Do you mean as in my lack of empathy in my follow-ups? When i sent her the goodmorning text and she said "hi " should i ask her how her sleep was? Idk

Honestly a sticking point i probably have is i put wayyyyyyyyyy too much mental energy into this sort of stuff. I never showed this girl lack of empathy except my texts were clumsy. I did an A-fucking-job when i was with her in person and very attentive to how she was feeling and showing plenty of empathy. I kissed her 2 seconds after she swallowed my load and cuddled with her for over half an hour and when she said how "What the hell even just happened and stuff" i told her how she did nothing wrong and it is perfectly natural to give into your desires and you shouldn't be ashamed for it and blah blah blah. It seems we are back to the 80/20 rule again. 20% of what i can control is giving me 80% of the mental stress. There is so little i can move over text with most of the job being done in person and here i am overthinking what text to send and why she isn't texting me back. Waste of my time. That time is better spent in other productive endeavours like generating more leads. Didn't know one text message could crash and burn the whole thing because i said she needed a relaxing massage hahaha. Jesus christ ok.


I went on a date Thursday with a girl and yesterday we were texting:

Me: Were you allowed to borrow the kids for a zoo trip? (she was saying how her cousin and his kids lives in town and i asked what her plans for the weekend was and she said she was gonna spend time with family and she said she would like to take his kids to zoo sometime as we walked past on the date)
Her: Hahah, we'll see what happens
Me: I think it will also be good for you to meet up with a cute guy
Her: (She was saying on the date how she was looking for friendships and i told her that i don't think men and women can be platonic friends because there will always be that tension of sexual energy and reframed it as you can be looking to make friends but also not be closed off for romance and good adventures coming up, never hurts and she agreed on that frame) No, i maybe don't think so? I think i made it pretty clear that i didn't want anything else but friendship and you thought that it wasn't possible for men and women to be friends?

And i just hit her with "Yes, checks out. I do not want platonic friendship" and either A) she says "Haha okay " and i can push forward or B) she ghosts or says "It was nice knowing you". Either way i win. It was so liberating to just let bullshit fall to the ground instead of catching it mid-air and trying to make something of it. Not trying to produce the perfect text message in response and do this and that re-frame and invest sooooo much energy in changing the mind of a girl saying she just wanna be friends and just letting that noise go to hell and focus on other women who aren't saying they wanna be friends. To just cut bait and run. It actually felt good, like a burden being lifted from your shoulders. You don't have to worry about that nope you can just chill and do other stuff.

I feel the same here. I shot off the message @Glow wrote and then i'll just leave it at that. It's too tiresome jerking off the same, non-compliant girls instead of just starting over fresh.