TL DR
1) Online - Don't try to get her to do anything online/via text. It's just bad game and doesn't fit female psychology. Moreover there are better ways to pull a chick online/via text. Trying to match wits with her, beat her at her own game, is impossible when she's not in front of you.
2) Offline - The solution here is understanding that she's testing her interest in you by whether or not she wants to be lead by you.
This is a really simple example that gets deep into how "pick up works".
Online - It's very low probability/hit and miss when you try to "escalate" online, because there's no calibration. You don't know what she's doing besides answering your messages. You don't know when she's gonna read your messages. And you don't know how your messages will be perceived.
Bangs and relationships die on a girl's insistence on using text messages to have interaction. For whatever reason, girls prefer mediums where misinterpretation leads them to their own destruction.
Get her on facetime/the phone. If you aren't next to a chick, you still need to able to talk to her, direct her, react to her antics, REAL TIME.
Offline, the examples you give don't suggest that you've created enough "value".
She has no reason to qualify herself to you. That's the simple answer.
Value Problem - So the first problem is that she needs to value you/value keeping the interaction alive. That's maybe 10% what you bring to the table looks/money/status/popularity (static value) and 90% engagement value (dynamic value). Because we are looking to the ideal of being pick up artists - we focus on the engagement - the value created right now between you and her (and her group and maybe 3rd parties).
Not speaking to you in particular, but for the lurkers - guy's should notice most of the time, his "game fails" because of the engagement value not because of his haircut or body fat percentage.
Expectation Problem - She's not going to just lay down her defenses and cooperate with you. You're framing this dynamic interaction as
If she says X, I should do Y. That's not how girls work. That's the fun of trying to get them back to your place to play Mario Kart.
This is a salsa, not the waltz. There is a rhythm, there are steps, but the joy for her (and you) is not step 1, step 2, step 3, but in keeping with the flow, and spinning her when she least expects it to her surprise and pleasure.
Reaction Problem - The second problem is that you react to her bullshit like it's serious. Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Idris Elba would laugh at her bullshit.
Which leads to the first way to handle it.
Frame Game/Bad Boy Style - Where I grew up, a dude would make an invite, she'd try to toy with him, and he'd say "Shut the fuck up bitch, you know you coming". He'd mean it. And she'd understand. That's a "frame game". He's so sure of his reality it would basically cut through her BS. (And this frame game stuff is In this scenario, the dude has so much going for him (Mentally) that he doesn't care if he shocks/offends, or even if the chick shows up. Often this is why your smart girl likes the bad boy or the douchey frat boy making dick jokes all the time. He shakes her up, maybe a bit crass, and then she gets caught up in trying to smooth him out/make him beta.
A bit more on frame game -
https://www.vogue.com/article/women-voted-trump-in-2016-flipped-biden-2020
>The day of the inauguration, when he is all of a sudden talking about crowds that weren’t there, I’m like, what is going on? What is he talking about? It started me going, “This is one of those guys who will things to happen.” I've been in many, many rooms with many, many high-level people who have a vision and it’s almost like they can hypnotize people, and it becomes reality. It’s like a vortex they get sucked into.
Before guys wonder if they should be alpha-ing their way through life - that's either something you grew up with or you've taken time to develop over years. So if you want to Bad Boy your way through life (which means nuclear bomb, not sniper approach), be prepared for lots and lots of failure and doubting the path. I can't do the frame shit convincingly all the time, because I've decided that's not part of my personality. I'd have to give in to the "darkside" as it were, and that's a conscious choice I make - not my parents/upbringing/culture/etc, and the choice that most men make. We all have mental barriers. We all have weird ideas about sense of self that stops us from doing what we know we must.
Since we're more on the tech side of the game.
I recognize that she isn't serious, and if I take her seriously, she'll win the frame and gets to decide reality. The old me would try and supplicate etc. Now I recognize it for what it is.
Technical Solution - I
playfully break rapport in those situations. That keeps the game going. Because if I break it for real, she might not chase.
Breaking rapport, rejecting her framing of the situation in this case, just adds to the fun because this is flirting. The game here is that she's testing whether or not you can socially outsmart her. This the thing she enjoys, this is what she wants to do. She wants to meet a guy and match wits with him, and best him. She gets pleasure from burning guys. And she submits to guys where she runs out of things to say, or too shocked to have a good comeback.
This leads a lot of guys to want to develop a "gift of gab" or read books on charisma. They watch Seinfeld and try to develop comedy and comedic timing.
The problem is that guys focus on the line by line meaning and react logically to what she's said. That's basically missing the point.
You don't want to "win" per se. Cause there's always something that can shut her down. You want to keep the game
interesting. Because her dealing with you is scrolling through her instagram feed. Scroll, scroll, scroll to the next cool post. And then keep scrolling. Vast majority of the time she's bored with her feed, but she's addicted to looking for the next bit of digital crack. It's the reverse of her game, if you ask me.
So if you go logical, you lose and you're a guy that doesn't get it. (a game she plays with rules she never tells anyone, because Duh anyone worthy would know)
The game is always orthogonal. When you argue with your LTR in a relationship, they have a tendency to stop being logical when it stops working in their favor, and then go ad hominem or emotional. That's
her language.
Unless she can win that way, She never plays it straight, much to the frustration of men. And men have been frustrated by this playing field change since men and women were invented.
This a preview of female behavior, not just this particular woman in this situation.
So here in a flirting situation, she's unconsciously/subconsciously testing whether or not you can follow her lead - will you play this game of words - which means falling into her frame, and letting her lead.
But the game is always about her following your lead. And whatever you end up doing with the girl, she has to accept your leadership. Which means you have to EARLY on not just get her to agree to things, not just make her want to follow you, but to direct her and give her things to do. So this flirtation about coming out with you/meeting you somewhere is really about whether or not she wants to follow you, but also do you want to lead.
Your practical responses to this type of thing -
- Cold Reads
- Mini Cold Reads
- Statements of Provocation
- Pregnant Pauses
- Awkward Silence
- Stealing a Kiss
- Picking Her Up Off the Ground
- Maniac eye contact
- Immediately start slow dancing with her
- Back turn
- Eye roll
- Roleplaying the boring bullshit she's gonna be doing by not showing up.
Anything that fucks with her sense of self or her actual senses is what keeps it going - that's how you win these things. She should be thinking, "Hey that's not fair". The same way when she will bring up old shit or start crying in the heat of a relationship argument.
You're not gonna win going head to head, even though that might feed your ego -
because you want to be smarter than the chick. So much of wanting to be "smart" is something I see a lot of guys struggle with and not realize. Keep the smarts for work and business. Moreover, you don't want a chick to bring that IQ shit into a short term or a long term relationship. It makes her less feminine and you enjoy her less.
Long Story Short - The win here is to keep her in a situation like her Instagram feed. She knows there's a bit of emotional high every time she talks to you, so what can she do to get that high again.
WIA
