- Joined
- Nov 7, 2019
- Messages
- 676
Frames & re-frames is how you get conversions up... Let's get into it:
TLDR:
1. Met a girl while exploring the city and daygaming with @topcat (credit to him as he pointed her out to me as my type)
2. Approach, get her number and go on 3 dates.
3. After strong frames and re-frames, lay her on the 3rd date & learn she (was) a virgin.
So far she seems very sweet - think I got a girl to take the edge out the upcoming winter months lol (just in time!)
Lay reminded me of how you have to set an "emotional bed" before a physical one. IE think of all the reasons WHY a girl would give you LMR, draw out feelings of the opposite emotions in a girl as to WHY she'd sleep with you and that's how you get 90%+ conversions.
Still learning/perfecting this but definitely getting closer.
Long Version:
What happens now?
Think this could be a stable sweet girl that I keep around while I pick up other girls in daygame. She's only here until March when her visa expires so think we'll have a short and fun run. She's also a great proof of concept that literally my 2nd lay while re-doing my approach is a sweet low-count girl. Not that I care for that anymore but just shows there's plenty of MLTR girls there I was just fishing in the wrong waters. Think she'll also be good practice for me coaching/moulding a girl into exactly what I like. She's got a decent foundation (very compliant and mirrors me loads although I think a part of it is cultural) so curious to see what I can do here.
Onwards & Upwards x
TLDR:
1. Met a girl while exploring the city and daygaming with @topcat (credit to him as he pointed her out to me as my type)
2. Approach, get her number and go on 3 dates.
3. After strong frames and re-frames, lay her on the 3rd date & learn she (was) a virgin.
So far she seems very sweet - think I got a girl to take the edge out the upcoming winter months lol (just in time!)
Lay reminded me of how you have to set an "emotional bed" before a physical one. IE think of all the reasons WHY a girl would give you LMR, draw out feelings of the opposite emotions in a girl as to WHY she'd sleep with you and that's how you get 90%+ conversions.
Still learning/perfecting this but definitely getting closer.
Long Version:
- Petite 26 y/o brunette, if you know me you know I have a type lol
- Light smooth skin, soft features, defined natural eye brows and very dark brown almond eyes
- Classic Korean dress sense with co-ordinated styling think charcoal jumpers with darker grey trousers, layered outfits & vintage caps
- Light smooth skin, soft features, defined natural eye brows and very dark brown almond eyes
- Classic Korean dress sense with co-ordinated styling think charcoal jumpers with darker grey trousers, layered outfits & vintage caps
I'm aiming for 1 lay a month from daygame through 20 approaches a week. This is done by 1 day in the weekend where I aim for 10 approaches then the other 10 throughout the week. I'm behind on my targets but got a lay 2/3 months I've started this which shows I could be hitting 1+ lay a month comfortably if I stopped being lazy lol
To be honest I didn't like the idea of pair or group daygame because I like being 100% independent but I'm also not a robot and I have to admit 2-3 guys doing daygame improves my results. I think it's because you maintain a social flow in-between sets which makes you warmer, with that said you can get similar warm approach by higher numbers, doing it in areas you like, approaching after socializing (which was the context of my last daygame lay), phone calls, watching memes or a hack I haven't tried that @alexlaguma told me was videoing yourself after approaches to keep your voice projection and social juices flowing
I've updated my approach to add a touch more intrigue bait of how I ended up in London AND aim to get 2 things to qualify her on, not just 1. When I actually stick to it, the interactions seem to go better. Anyway compliment on her outfit, she seems startled/scared but instead of ejecting prematurely I calmly and warmly stay in set, stay patient and she opens up. Qualify her on coming here from Korea and the places she likes to visit in London which says she has good taste, exchange numbers and leave it
Something I'm split testing is even after confirming we'll arrange a meet up in person, is chit-chating via text building compiance then re-seeding the meet. NO idea if it will make a difference as don't have a large enough sample size but it's what I did with her. Got her opening up on her favourite films, why she likes it etc etc before seeding the meet and she was easy to text and deal with tbh
This is where I get hit with curveballs lol.
Date 1 - we meet at a park, then go to a hotel lobby for tea, then come back to mine. Something I'm being very conscious of is not getting overly warm and excited by a girl and instead give her the gift of winning me over. I.E be warm and present but not "sold" on her until I find something genuinely interesting to qualify. I then reward her compliance with touch. With this girl that tipping point was her opening about caring about injustices in the world and speaking for people with no voice which is why she did her degree and masters in media and communications. Funnily enough when I de-briefed post sex, she said this was the moment she felt attracted to me. We also spoke about colonialism, feminism and cultural differences. Honestly a fun experience. I've learnt to "dumb down" my questioning to make it easy to answer and guide frames that people with little to 0 sexual experience can connect with e.g. what has a guy done for them that made them feel warm and appreciated.
Curveball starts is she ends up at mine and cuddles but refuses to kiss lol. Never had anything like it. She says it's a cultural thing, I stay calm warm and that's the end of it. I walk her to station, almost expect it to die but she hits me up asking for day 2 and we get that in the diary.
Date 2 - after date 1 I had seeded we make matcha at my place, she comes straight to mine, I had no matcha or matcha set so we just make mocktails and again she's avoiding kissing me but cuddling and after frames and re-frames eventually get into a make out session. The frames I'll share in a separate thread as they deserve their own section and if I had implemented this earlier I would of got the lay faster
Date 1 - we meet at a park, then go to a hotel lobby for tea, then come back to mine. Something I'm being very conscious of is not getting overly warm and excited by a girl and instead give her the gift of winning me over. I.E be warm and present but not "sold" on her until I find something genuinely interesting to qualify. I then reward her compliance with touch. With this girl that tipping point was her opening about caring about injustices in the world and speaking for people with no voice which is why she did her degree and masters in media and communications. Funnily enough when I de-briefed post sex, she said this was the moment she felt attracted to me. We also spoke about colonialism, feminism and cultural differences. Honestly a fun experience. I've learnt to "dumb down" my questioning to make it easy to answer and guide frames that people with little to 0 sexual experience can connect with e.g. what has a guy done for them that made them feel warm and appreciated.
Curveball starts is she ends up at mine and cuddles but refuses to kiss lol. Never had anything like it. She says it's a cultural thing, I stay calm warm and that's the end of it. I walk her to station, almost expect it to die but she hits me up asking for day 2 and we get that in the diary.
Date 2 - after date 1 I had seeded we make matcha at my place, she comes straight to mine, I had no matcha or matcha set so we just make mocktails and again she's avoiding kissing me but cuddling and after frames and re-frames eventually get into a make out session. The frames I'll share in a separate thread as they deserve their own section and if I had implemented this earlier I would of got the lay faster
She comes straight to mine to "watch stranger things" which was a call back from previous conversation. This point we're kissing readily. She's given a little resistance that the below frames solve and the rest is history. I did have to be a little "literal" by spelling these out which I don't like but in the future I'll do a better job of setting these frames upfront to make things easier. I noticed when I pushed the life's too short frame her vibe switched... Also making it clear that I'm not the kind of guy who'll wait around for a girl to be "ready" which can be as simple as laughing at her ex having to wait an x amount of time for physical escalation
This is a frame I use now I'm running to more inexperienced girls, basically sharing how it's so re-assuring when you can melt in competence and depending on my experience I may give a non-romantic example like being in the car while someone reverse parallel parks OR dating someone more experienced and how I've been on both sides and find pleasure in guiding someone. This gives indirect frames that I'm competent and can guide her through her own inexperience or insecurities
This one's killer when you tie it back to behaviour they've done and I did this accidently but should of done it WAY EARLIER. This girl left her country to a place with a different language to explore. I refer that back to how people in her hometown are still there and may be born, live and die there without seeing the world. I then get her to re-live and get excited about her London experiences and re-emphasize about having "rules" about the perfect time would have made her miss out on this moment which I circled back on when trying to kiss her on day 3
This girl had an ex of 9 months she never slept with. She slept with me in 3 dates. Part of this is when she mentioned how quickly we got intimate, is explain how I have female friends who're JUST friends and I have ex's I slept with quickly. Length of time doesn't matter. Quality does and if we're attracted that then we shouldn't ignore it because of some random unhelpful rule... Life's too short 
Topcat helped me internalize this. Fucking strangers for mainstream's standards is weird. Being competent in your own life is weird. Being able to run effective dates (when most men don't)is weird. Don't shy away from it, fucking own it. When I deep-dive, escalate quickly, the non-negotiable frame is "I'm weird...So what?" If that's a problem then I'm not the right guy for you and you should go find another generic man who'll ask you boring interview questions for 1 hour and then triple text to see you again... OR you can spill your life to me and have a fun, fulfiling and immersive experience. Choice is yours. What happened with this girl is she commented on it... Then complied and now calls herself weird too lol
I'm so used to dealing with (to put it politely) physically liberal girls that I didn't really believe she was a virgin until I saw how tight she was, blood and her actions lined up. She is very compliant, easy to deal with msgs often and clearly still connects sex with love. It's adorable to be honest
What happens now?
Think this could be a stable sweet girl that I keep around while I pick up other girls in daygame. She's only here until March when her visa expires so think we'll have a short and fun run. She's also a great proof of concept that literally my 2nd lay while re-doing my approach is a sweet low-count girl. Not that I care for that anymore but just shows there's plenty of MLTR girls there I was just fishing in the wrong waters. Think she'll also be good practice for me coaching/moulding a girl into exactly what I like. She's got a decent foundation (very compliant and mirrors me loads although I think a part of it is cultural) so curious to see what I can do here.
Onwards & Upwards x
