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FR  Spunky Professor

Copious

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Oct 21, 2015
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Been working on decomposing my field journal for weeks. Suprizingly time consuming. Hoping to get to a point where i can startshooting out field reports.Till then here is the events of a recent outing. Btw, this is officially my first FR, so i apologize in advance for formatting errors. Skip to the yellow for the down and dirty.


Background; for the most part i go poaching for isolated hbs ( both in.Night and day game). It dawned on me a while ago that hotter hbs traveled in groups so i decided to get my shit together and grabbed myself a wing, specifcally for busting 2 sets.i petitioned an afc friend of mine and soon realized there is a limitedamount of assists you can give before you're carying both interactions. So i found myself a natural. He is my current wing. We, both being in uni, have a large amount of time between our morning class and lunch, so we decided to go roaming for group sets.

We first head to the commons/ main eating area. We stand and stare for for 5 or so minutes until i realize that we are wasting time. Isuggest that we do some warm up sets. My natural companion gives me a weird look( dunno, maybe naturals dont do warm ups). After a second of hesitation he agrees.

I opened my first "set" in the commons. I only see a back andiopen from behind. I see an hb 5, tuens out we already met, so we fluff for 5ish minutes then i politely excuse myself.

My natural friend then opens a set by obviously checking out a nearby blonde. She turns as if to say "excuse me!." he smiles. He has her where he wants her, i leave him and wander off into one of the adjacent hallways in the lit department. I see a two girls sitting reasonably close against a wall. Hb7 on right, hb8 on left. Was briefly confused about which side to open from. One of those old straus diagrams forapproaching popped into my head but after 20 sec of mental deliberation, i just wedged myself between the 2. I open

" i feel so sorry for you...(facial expression similar to losing a grandparent)"
She looks up. Pauses as if thinking. She's Def. Out of autopilot. I then point at the book.
"For having to read that", i continue.
That interaction leads into some fluff then deepdiving about childhood, beleifs on schooling,etc..soon my wing resurfaces and hovers over us. He flashes me a "this is not the mission" type of stare. I then eject.

We return to the commons. My wing points at an hb9 blonde mired in a group of 6. He challenges me to go in. I cautiously agree. I spend a scary amount of time thinking of an opener, till i say fuck it. Ill approach when im comfortable enough to not force a set. ( i have horror stories of doing just that)

I glance accross the sea of people in the commons then spot a hb9 20 or so yards away. I move closer turns out its an 8 but not by much. She is seated alone. She looks bored. As I'm pondering my approach she gets up from her seated position and starts walking towards the large main doors. A hasten my pace and match it to hers. She seems to be moving to fast for me to reach her without me having to catch my breath but she slows down abruptly as she pulls out her phone to text. I open from the side.


i pre open
Copious: hmmmmm (really loudly)
She looks in my direction. I slowly meet her gaze

Copious: you looked like you were having sooooooo much fun (sarcastically) down here.
I bob my head towards her phone.

Hb: (brief pause) ha ha ha.....your right
Copious: just had to come say, hi
Hb:ha ha....im K. What's your name?

I smile to myself at this point. No. No, girl you are not controling this frame. I like to start with compliance tests before moving the interaction forward, so i jumped in to autopilot.
3 needed to phaseshift.
Copious: I'm copious. What an "exotic" name (pause then cocky smile). Can you repeat it?
K: (eagerly) its K.
Copious: hmmmm.... Now, can you spell it?
K: sure its k.......
Copious: (confused expression the i spell out the first 4 letters like a toddler) ummm. Can you do it one more time. Kindergarten was harder for some of us.
K: ha ha ha spells one more time.
Copious: I like it. Its different (i stop walking then she follows suit stopping as well) Is there a story behind it?
K: (crosses her arms imediately) um. No. Not really.
Woops. Might have hit a bad topic? For some reason negative body language like that just bothers me. I make a Mental note to get her to stop that later. She eventualy opened up after wasting 5 min. Do any of you more experienced guys know how to open them up quicker?
K: bull crap. Everyones' name has some meaning. Come with me. (i deliberately turn her in the opposite direction)

I noted my 3 compliance. ( initial name. Unnecesary repition of the name. Motion stop then redirection.) It kills me that the process is so methodical for me. Wonder if its like that for everone? Anyway, i launch into a dhv story about an alcoholic highschool teacher who always staggered in 20 min late and unprepared. One day he made our class look up the meaning of our names bacause he hadno lesson plans. I explain how most names are boring
Copious: seriously, could not beleive this guy....blah blah blah...when we my bes t friend looked up HER name it literally meant wide open grassy meadow.
K:ha ha
Copious: you know, i think i got out kind of lucky....(fraction looking away letting conv. die)
K: um why?
Copious:Hmm?
K: Why were you lucky?
Copious: oh....well i looked it up and...Mine had 2 definitions. An oxford version and an urban dictionary version. Which do you wanna hear?
K: UD (obviously)
Copious: Too bad. Your getting the first. ( I tell her my boring version)
K: ha ha. what about the other one?
Copious: (pause then spell it out in the air) Majestic Master of Unicorns!
K: ha. Ha.

I got her laughing but more importantly to me, she finally uncrossed those damn arms. We fluff a bit longer until i bring up something about our current state being different than where i came from. (just relocated here) this prompts her to ask where im from. I refuse to give her an answer, which leads into a guessing game. Her first guess is California. Wrong. Seccond is michigan. Why? She than challenges that shes not good at gueasing so I qualify her by saying the worst thing a girl said was missispi and that damn near killed me. So shes doing pretty good. She laughed.

But still wrong.her final answer is new york. Wrong. But she devles int the topic. I bringup the image pf nyc rats sipping starbucks and scaring kids off the subway. She mentions never going to the eastcoast and a lightbulb turns on in my head.

Copious: so i take it, your from around here?
K: yah, i dont live too far away
Copious: (smile to myself, woah is he already thinking about the pull?) no, no like were you born and raised here
K: yes
Copious: is that a good thing?
K: blabs something about snowboarding.
Copious: Thats awesome. Ive been dying to get back into into it...........you know (pregnant pause)...youve been nice...so ill give you some info. I actually grew up in boston.
K: ahh so thats where your from
Copious: nope but your getting warmer. Think really warm. But seriously snoboarding culture is a huge thing up there and id love to getback into it. I know you normally go to the resorts with your friends right?
K: yah. Its amazing we normally go to blank resort. ( i honestly have no recolection of what resort. Too busy thinking about transitioning) its so much fun.
Copious: back on the east coast id get to fly up to boston and hang with my friends doing these crazy winter sports like....whT do you do with yours?
K: sometimes we go to the oval (winter olympics were here) and ice skate or blah blah blah
Copious: sounds fun. Thats exactly the kinds of things id doo with the gang. God i miss them. Cant fly back this year cause im so far away. But theres this one thing we'd do, you might have done itsince its so cold up here. Its called the polar plunge. Have you done it before?
K: um.... no.
Copious: you sure?
K: i dont think so
Copious: you're a pretty fun person, i seriously think you've done it. Mind if i run a test on you?
K:ha. Ha. sure

I walk her back into commons and to a table . commons is clearing out. Lunch is more or less over. We r the only 2 people in the cafeteria.

Had one bad experience before doing kino early so i typically wait until there are blaring iois. This is the point i noticed them all. I jump into the yes ladder. Oldie but goodie. First q for me is always r u human. The answer is always yes.i qualified this chick with a hi 5. Q2 varies on mood . today it was are you open minded.

I break into the question with a dhv story and drop an open loop asking her to remind me to bring up a topic later. Mid story i use both hands to grab her shoulders emphatically for clarification but linger on her shoulders afterwards. Q3 is are you observant. To which she replied yes.

I then run her through a visualization exercise i came up with where i break distance . I ask for her hand . i make her clench and open her fist telling her its necessay for the exercise. ITS NOT. Get back onto her shoulders ask her to visualise burning coals where im holding. Ill post the technique intoboards one of these days but the gist is to get 90 percent of kino taken care of in 1 min and 1/2.

Her friends but in. But after seeing us in what must have looked lIke an intimate position. They leave. More of them come so i ask her to close her eyes so she doesnt break circle. I run through the exercise using a bit of nlp. I get close enough to feel her body heat. When its complete im holding her hands and say

Copious: you realize your hands......have gotten warmer...right?

K: mhmmm....(touching, flipping and moving her hair involuntarily)

Copious: is it the coals or just...me?(cocky smile)
K: little bit of you...( looks down)

As i write this i realize how badly i fucked up. At this point i could have gone in for the kiss but wussed out opting to complete the exercise and return to the polar plunge story. Somewhere after i explain the polar plunge she looks around at the empty commons and remembers she has a class to get to. Spell Broken.

She gets up and starts moving away. All kinds of alarms are going off in my head. I think i Might lose the set. I decide to follow her. I try some deep diving but to no avail.in 30 sec the convo moves from rapport back into interview style questions as she leads us towards wherever she is going . then it hit me. Where was she going.
Copious: im curious, what class are you going to?
K: I'm actually teaching it.
Copious: no way! Prove it.
K: yah, i am. (she qualifies herself for a minute or so)

In my head i thought "im saved!" I sear i said a silent prayer to god. It was like a dove landed on me.i hopped back into auto pilot, self depricated, and deep dive her about her career path. She is actually sthdent teaching. As I did this, another student ran into us( we were walking pretty fast towards the science dept. ). He excused himself and was off. Then i jumped intoroll playing.

Copious: Ok. So you're passionate about teaching?
K: ah hmmm. ..since i was a kid
Copious: wow. You must be smart. So, are we talking kindergarteners or.....
K:(cuting me off) high schoolers actually
Copious: wow. Dunno why youd want to do that remember.how wewere all monsters back in high school? ( pause)
K: silence
Copious; but i thinkyou could do it.(cocky smile) SaY for example, I was that guy who just bumped into us and i was in your class. And ... I didnt have my homework, what would you do?
K: why dont you have your homework mr. Copious?
Copious:the dog ate it. And......the cat ate the dog mrs. .....i dont beleive i got your last name
K: last name
Copious: yes mrs. Last name(dont remember it)
K: then i'd fail you. Ha ha
Copious: what if i gave you an apple?
She states some fact about early teachers traveling and being poorand needing apples as donations. Did she see this causei screened for smartness? Wonder what would have happened if id played her off asthe sexy teacher?

This continues until we are about ten feet from the door to the class she is teaching. She begins tosay that she has to go then i use somethijg i remember reading on the boards about countering her when shes about to leave. I coopted her last words and said i had to getgoing to my next class any way(even though it was in another building) before she could finish her statement. I rushed the number close.
Copious: interesting. Interesting. But now I have 3 qs for you. Do you like soda?
K: not really
Copious: you must be fun on the weekends...(cocky smile) are you into tea?
K: yah
Copious: Do you dig coffee?
K: love it ( excitedly)
Copious: well i really have to go but id like to hang out with you later. Maybe grab a drink. Would you like that?
K:mhmm ( i notice shes touching her hair again)
Copious: how do we coordinate that?
K: (reaches into bag grabs her phone and checks time) well...we could change numbers
Copious yah we could, couldnt we?

She gives me her number. We have a coversation about our cracked phones while shes giving me hers.i Was trying to "occupy her mind" but it came out really akwardly. Maybe because i was forcing it. Maybe because i was the only one with the cracked phone?

What really worried me was closing. My last 5 aproaches ended horribly and awkwardly. I wanted to try a variation of something someone told me on the boards. shout out to TwoRocky

Copious: I (bearly audible wheeze) cough... Cough... I hate....saying goodbye. Have you ever seen dirty dancing?
K: not realy.. I mean it was a really long time.
Copious: what about footloose?
K: yah. Mhmm.( eager head nod)
Copious: give me your hand (she gives it to me). Do you remember seeing a twist.
K: (face flushes red) yes. Well. I... Dont know how to do it.
Copious: nonsense. ( I twist her. )
K: ha haha ( uncontrolably)
Copious: knew you were fun. Well, i got to get going. My comercial art professor will have my ass if i dont show up today
K: ha ha

Dont remember exactly what i said when we leftor what she said but i watched her enter her room then walked off.

Takeaways: 1. dont take too much time. This whole interaction took 25ish min. It kills me that she forced that close 2. May need to utilze more chaseframes. Think i only used one the whole time. 3. Dont be afraid to pull the trigger. I will forever walk by the commons and regret not going for the kiss. 4. How do i not get so methodical? Felt like a robot. Couldnt even remember her last name cause i was trying to think ahead

Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,275
Copious-

Great job on your approaches, and good on you for posting the conversation. There's some to critique here, but I think you're just getting started and I don't want to load you up with too much to work on, so I'll focus on the big ones. Also, as a new guy in a long-ish interaction, you handled this pretty well, particularly in how you rolled with the punches.

Copious said:
Isuggest that we do some warm up sets. My natural companion gives me a weird look( dunno, maybe naturals dont do warm ups). After a second of hesitation he agrees.

Cold approach isn't something most naturals do, so there's some risk you may lose him as a wing if you push him into doing this and he doesn't take to it (there's also a chance he may decide cold approach is really fun). You'll usually be better off ditching terminology and just saying things like, "How about we chat people up and hit on some girls?" with most naturals.

Copious said:
I see a two girls sitting reasonably close against a wall. Hb7 on right, hb8 on left. Was briefly confused about which side to open from. One of those old straus diagrams forapproaching popped into my head but after 20 sec of mental deliberation, i just wedged myself between the 2. I open

Usually better to just pick a side (ideally, next to the girl you want to get to know more). You're more likely to get blown out on the side than if you wedge yourself in the middle, since the girls can just start talking to each other and ignore you, but you're also more likely to get into a good conversation and get attraction from the side, with the girl you like engaging with you and the other one playing with her phone or taking off if she can tell her friend is really into you.

When you're in the middle, you're forced to entertain both girls or one will feel left out; but because you're in the middle, this means you must continuously pivot from one girl to the next. When you're on the side, you can talk to both girls at the same time.

Copious said:
Copious: I'm copious. What an "exotic" name (pause then cocky smile). Can you repeat it?
K: (eagerly) its K.
Copious: hmmmm.... Now, can you spell it?
K: sure its k.......
Copious: (confused expression the i spell out the first 4 letters like a toddler) ummm. Can you do it one more time. Kindergarten was harder for some of us.
K: ha ha ha spells one more time.
Copious: I like it. Its different (i stop walking then she follows suit stopping as well) Is there a story behind it?
K: (crosses her arms imediately) um. No. Not really.
Woops. Might have hit a bad topic? For some reason negative body language like that just bothers me.

You got hung up on a topic. See this article: Don't Get Hung Up on Topics.

When you keep going back to the same topic over and over without getting deeper or getting onto something that's interesting to the girl, it's a vibe killer. When someone asks you to repeatedly spell your name, then asks you what your name means, it feels more like conversation filler than either a.) fun banter, or b.) interesting conversation.

No worries for now; the important thing is you get talking to girls. However, as you gain more experience, you'll want to focus on sifting the filler out of your conversation and replacing it with either snappy banter or interesting subject matter (deep dives, cold reads, etc.).

Copious said:
I make a Mental note to get her to stop that later. She eventualy opened up after wasting 5 min. Do any of you more experienced guys know how to open them up quicker?

What you're looking for is the hook point. That's basically down to how attracted she is to you (your fundamentals) + how comfortable she is around you (courtesy your game). Check this article out for a bit more on that: Book Excerpts: Reaching the Hook Point with Girls.

Copious said:
K: bull crap. Everyones' name has some meaning. Come with me. (i deliberately turn her in the opposite direction)

Still hung up on the name topic. See if you can't find something more interesting to ask about or talk about:

  • Do you always do light reading over lunch? [point to thick text book in her arm]
  • So are you an East Coast native or a recent transplant?
  • What's your major? My guess is either physics or forestry.

Etc.

Copious said:
I walk her back into commons and to a table . commons is clearing out. Lunch is more or less over. We r the only 2 people in the cafeteria.

Nice going with the move.

Make sure you have strategy behind moves like this. If you're just going for the number, don't move her so far and don't spend so long in the initial conversation... usually best to keep initial conversations to 10 minutes or less if a phone number's the goal.

If instead you're fishing to see if you can just keep moving her and same-day lay her, moving to the table is a good next step though, again, you'll ideally want a more intimate environment (cafeteria tables aren't always best for this; many student areas have little tables with comfy chairs somewhere in the building - these are better).

Copious said:
Copious: you realize your hands......have gotten warmer...right?

K: mhmmm....(touching, flipping and moving her hair involuntarily)

Copious: is it the coals or just...me?(cocky smile)
K: little bit of you...( looks down)

As i write this i realize how badly i fucked up. At this point i could have gone in for the kiss but wussed out opting to complete the exercise and return to the polar plunge story. Somewhere after i explain the polar plunge she looks around at the empty commons and remembers she has a class to get to. Spell Broken.

This was good right up until you asked her if it was you.

If you're not going to do anything, escalate right up to the point where she's going to have to be vulnerable and admit it's you, but don't take it over that line. In this case, after you said her hands have gotten warmer and she's said mhm-hmm, you'll change the subject and keep going with something else, so she's registered it but hasn't admitted it.

Conversely, if you're going to have her admit it, then you have to be prepared to reward her in some way, and because you're in public and her friends are around that reward should not be something that will compromise her reputation. Instead, it might just be an admission of mutual effect, like, "It's okay, your hands are warming mine up too," and then you thread-cut.

Copious said:
Copious: im curious, what class are you going to?
K: I'm actually teaching it.
Copious: no way! Prove it.
K: yah, i am. (she qualifies herself for a minute or so)

Conversation here is a little on the game-y side. "Prove it!", etc. You're asking for compliance, and you'll get it, but she doesn't feel good giving it to you.

Better way to go about this:


  • You: So what's up next on your learning agenda?
    Her: Actually, I teach my next class.
    You: No way. How'd you land that gig?
    Her: [explains and qualifies]

Copious said:
This continues until we are about ten feet from the door to the class she is teaching. She begins tosay that she has to go then i use somethijg i remember reading on the boards about countering her when shes about to leave. I coopted her last words and said i had to getgoing to my next class any way(even though it was in another building) before she could finish her statement. I rushed the number close.
Copious: interesting. Interesting. But now I have 3 qs for you. Do you like soda?
K: not really
Copious: you must be fun on the weekends...(cocky smile) are you into tea?
K: yah
Copious: Do you dig coffee?
K: love it ( excitedly)
Copious: well i really have to go but id like to hang out with you later. Maybe grab a drink. Would you like that?
K:mhmm ( i notice shes touching her hair again)
Copious: how do we coordinate that?
K: (reaches into bag grabs her phone and checks time) well...we could change numbers
Copious yah we could, couldnt we?

You really turned it around from the broken spell earlier. You've got some pluck, amigo.

Copious said:
She gives me her number. We have a coversation about our cracked phones while shes giving me hers.i Was trying to "occupy her mind" but it came out really akwardly. Maybe because i was forcing it. Maybe because i was the only one with the cracked phone?

What really worried me was closing. My last 5 aproaches ended horribly and awkwardly. I wanted to try a variation of something someone told me on the boards. shout out to TwoRocky

Copious: I (bearly audible wheeze) cough... Cough... I hate....saying goodbye. Have you ever seen dirty dancing?
K: not realy.. I mean it was a really long time.
Copious: what about footloose?
K: yah. Mhmm.( eager head nod)
Copious: give me your hand (she gives it to me). Do you remember seeing a twist.
K: (face flushes red) yes. Well. I... Dont know how to do it.
Copious: nonsense. ( I twist her. )
K: ha haha ( uncontrolably)
Copious: knew you were fun. Well, i got to get going. My comercial art professor will have my ass if i dont show up today
K: ha ha

This is really cute. Another nice recovery from the awkward cracked phone conversation.

Copious said:
Takeaways: 1. dont take too much time. This whole interaction took 25ish min. It kills me that she forced that close 2. May need to utilze more chaseframes. Think i only used one the whole time. 3. Dont be afraid to pull the trigger. I will forever walk by the commons and regret not going for the kiss. 4. How do i not get so methodical? Felt like a robot. Couldnt even remember her last name cause i was trying to think ahead

Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance

Your takeaways are all on point. Don't worry too much about being mechanical; you're necessarily going to be a little stiff when you're still getting your wings beneath you. The fact that you're thinking about being more fluid means your eyes are on this and you will naturalize your game with time.

The most impressive thing about this report is how despite dropping the ball at one point or another you kept your focus on the brass ring and stayed in there and corrected for your mistakes. That's a fantastic quality to have and it's one that'll help you progress faster than other guys who maybe give up too soon or get overly frazzled after a mistake.

Chase
 

Copious

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Oct 21, 2015
Messages
7
wow. Did not expect feedback from you, Chase. there's alot of stuff here i seriously didnt see.

Chase wrote;
then asks you what your name means, it feels more like conversation filler than either a.) fun banter, or b.) interesting conversation.

At the time, I honestly thought it was the topic itself that she got strung on. This may have been a crutch for lack of content. I'll try working on a cold read instead of whatever this was. Question: the cold read wouldnt require much input from the chick, but how would you enter banter immediately upon open? (minus conversation to base it on)

Chase wrote:
This was good right up until you asked her if it was you.

If you're not going to do anything, escalate right up to the point where she's going to have to be vulnerable and admit it's you, but don't take it over that line. In this case, after you said her hands have gotten warmer and she's said mhm-hmm, you'll change the subject and keep going with something else, so she's registered it but hasn't admitted it.

Conversely, if you're going to have her admit it, then you have to be prepared to reward her in some way, and because you're in public and her friends are around that reward should not be something that will compromise her reputation. Instead, it might just be an admission of mutual effect, like, "It's okay, your hands are warming mine up too," and then you thread-cut.

Awesome. once again missed this note. looking back there was a brief moment of tension afterwards. i see why... there is something vaguely gratifying about that vulnerability. definitely using that tension release in future.

Thanks for all the input. Btw, your advice on the wing was spot on. Once i dropped the technical stuff he seemed to get in it more.
 
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