Stress, Anxiety, First time

alwaystrouble

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 13, 2020
Messages
12
(Edit)I understood my question was to wide and general, what could be a way to be relaxed, to avoid anxiety during sex? I've always had problem with stress and anxiety, in almost every aspect of my life. I could not do anything without shitty thoughts of judgement of other people. I tend to react with smile, jokes or step back from situation. And it started to piss me of in bed, and its the worst thing ever.
 
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Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Hey man all good. Don't panic when it happens that'll just make it worse.

See here:
 

___M

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Oct 14, 2020
Messages
9
My first time, I had a problem with my dick. It enjoyed her BJ, her body, but when it was in front of her pussy.. it went down at lightning speed, I tried more 2-3 times and had the same result. So my first time was failed but I managed things out and drove her home.
That night, I went through things like sex anxiety on GC and found out that I'm not the only one. I remembered one advice that when it comes to sex, the best sex you can give to her is when you only care about your pleasure, treat her like a sexual object or a sex doll.
So that's it, girls dig that feeling of being dominated, being used, so just remember that, and the next time you bed her just thinking what to do with her to make yourself feel good and do it.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Obviously what you're describing is common and happens to everyone. I'd definitely recommend checking out the GC articles on the subject in case a particular tweak works great for you. If not, my advice would be: You're improving your skills to bring many girls into your bed, right? So just have as much fun as you can, and if Jr doesn't want to work, oh well, you'll try again next time since this isn't the one and only girl you'll be bringing over. Alwaystrouble is turning himself into a man many women will want to open their legs for. So, so what if it doesn't work the first couple times? If you're like most guys, each time you try you'll be a little more relaxed and get a little closer to your goal.
 

Petezzz

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
1
(Edit)I understood my question was to wide and general, what could be a way to be relaxed, to avoid anxiety during sex? I've always had problem with stress and anxiety, in almost every aspect of my life. I could not do anything without shitty thoughts of judgement of other people. I tend to react with smile, jokes or step back from situation. And it started to piss me of in bed, and its the worst thing ever.
I had jerked off earlier before going to see her and my dick wasnt limp per say but it took time to get up. And this was the first time I was banging her and I really wanted to make a good impression since the first nut usually comes off quick and most girls dont know this and might label you as a one minute man. I could not risk that on my reputation since this is a girl who we shared the same social circle with. If this happened then she would have leverage and may decide to burn me incase I do something and it left her jaded eg not getting into a committed relationship with her if she presses for one. I did not want to take any chances on this so I had to rub one earlier to remove the first nut knowing the second round I will last long. Fast forward to the foreplay and I have most of her clothes off and she is still teasing refusing to let me hit after doing hard labour of foreplay she told me she is ready at that point my d had gone soft again. lol! I tried to ask her to rub me down to get it up she refused.LMfao. At that moment I had to think of my most favourite pornstar as I continued with the foreplay to buy time.Luckily it went up.Keep in mind in the days building up to that day I had been jerking off to ensure when I am chatting her up I am doing it with a clear head with that post nut clarity. Because based on previous incidences I usually dropped the ball when I was texting a girl to set something up when I was too horny. I would fuck up everything. She may be responding to your advances and sexual implications but that doesnt mean she is really ready. Talking is one thing and doing is another, some girls like to talk a big game when it comes to sex but deep down they are highly insecure about the whole thing so its a cover up. When you decide to take her up on it things get awkward so I always try to ensure I transition smoothly regardless of the girl incase I am dealing with this type of girl. Because at times its hard to tell if a girl is a cocktease or is the real deal until maybe her friend tip you off on this.So to get around this. I had to make sure my mind was clear. The risk being my D may not stand up when its time since its too exhausted from all the prior rub down.
Also another thing I did to avoid getting anxiety is to stop seeing her as a lady although I treat her like this in my mind I had to summon my inner Wesley pipes and see her as a pretty ass slut, i actually watch that porno scene before going to bang a girl it makes me laugh but gives me confidence. Or just google wesley pipes quotes. If you can get the conversation casually dirty when talking to her and she comfortably talks about almost sexual topic like her lesbian experience if she has ever had one, it will help reduce the anxiety and not make you feel like you are doing something wrong, even if you screw up she will excuse you and let you pull yourself together.
 

Henry

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
35
Location
Pretoria
Something that helped me was to stop trying to be good at sex and enjoy the experience. If you're a very logical/left brained kind of guy, becoming good with socializing and sex seems counter intuitive. Say for example you want to build muscle or make money - you psyche yourself up, get motivated and try to make those goals your be all and end all. You work hard and try to perfect those crafts because, and this is important - in those fields CONSCIOUSLY INCREASING PERFECTION = BETTER RESULTS. Socializing and sex doesn't work that way though. In these fields NOT CONSCIOUSLY INCREASING PERFECTION AND JUST ENJOYING IT = BETTER RESULTS. I think it's because these things are instincts and the less you think about it and NOT MAKING BEING GOOD A PRIORITY, gives more space for instinct to take over - something literally every Homo sapiens individual has.
The bottom line is this - the more you just enjoy it for what it is, and forget about being hard/making her orgasm, the BETTER YOU WILL ACTUALLY BECOME. It's counter intuitive - yet true
 
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