Sunshine Journal

[JT Sunshine]

Hey, JT. Great job with these journal entries! It feels like we’re right there with you.

Especially when you talk about doing the reading and believing you’re being productive. That hits home.

And getting out there solo. That’s a big one for me too. I’ll be following along. Keep it up brother.

I really appreciate that! I like writing and it makes me glad to hear someone enjoys reading it. I’ve actually quite enjoyed your journal as well.

Going out solo is both terrifying and liberating. You become the master of your own destiny - but I find myself getting inside my own head a lot too, and I can’t let the fear of the approach win. Probably something I’ll have to keep at forever, but it’s getting easier.

Cheers!

 

[JT Sunshine]

We’re back, baby!!

Birthday girl reached out to me today, she apologized for not replying, dealt with a lot at work and was in a bad mood.

We actually talked for quite a while and I feel like I finally broke through those walls. We shared some stories from our past, talked about relationships and sex, it was really nice. There was no shy or awkwardness, I felt finally that we really connected. Made plans to hang out soon, I am going to cook dinner and we are going to watch a movie.

My plan: I’m going to playfully pull her next to me on the couch and throw a blanket over our legs, then keep slowly amping up the physicality until we, at some point, make eye contact without saying anything. At that point I will lean in slowly and kiss her. I will pull away first, then go back in, and hopefully we don’t end up finishing the movie…

I hope I haven’t waited too long and the window hasn’t closed, but I can’t think of any reason a girl would invite me over to watch a movie if she wasn’t interested in me sexually. I promise I will find out, and so will you.

Funny story, I attempted a daytime approach today. She was cute and wearing a neck brace has a husband but she was very warm and friendly

It’s getting late, and the siren song of downtown nightlife is calling my name. Until next time…

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Well done! Looking forward to an updates!

 

[JT Sunshine]

What a weekend! I’m learning a lot, finding successes, but still feel like I should have done a lot more. As late as it is, going to write this out while it’s all fresh in my mind. Forgive me for the stream-of-consciousness rambling that is sure to ensue.

Friday night I got out too late. I had about an hour to work with, not ideal, and my drive to go find women was definitely lessened by my wonderful talk with birthday girl. I must keep focused on the goal - developing my skill set. I always do this to myself… I start to find some traction in meeting women, then I meet one girl that I really like, we hit it off and I indulge. To the detriment of my learning.

Weirdly enough I got approached by two guys and a girl right off the bat. I think the first guy was trying to “be social”, the second guy was drunk as hell, and the girl was definitely not someone I would ever consider sleeping with. It was interesting to experience what it probably feels like to be a woman at a place like this… how do you eject from boring conversation without being an asshole? I suppose I could have just been an asshole, but I like to put positive energy out in the universe, and these people are out having fun.

I am realizing most of the guys around here dress the same - BORING. While I am not a fashion icon by ANY means, I typically wear bold colors, awesome shoes, a clean but flashy watch/necklace and have developed a very put-together look. I think this is why I am getting approached. I’ve been working on my body language/posture a ton and I am starting to stand out in a good way. (Kudos to my ex for working in the clothing industry and helping me put together some of these outfits before we broke up )

I did approach one girl. She was blonde, early 20s, average figure but with a very cute face and awesome white cowboy boots. I said “hi, I love your look”. She didn’t initially reply, but just held eye contact with me. The tension was INSANE, but I did not break eye contact, although my body wanted to so badly. She replied with a simple “thanks”, and her friend pulled her away shortly after. I should have followed up with some ethereal question, but I have NEVER been “direct” like this at a bar, and my analytical brain took over. Oh well, two months ago I wouldn’t have even had the balls to look in her eyes…

Work positively sucked today, but one of my clients brought his fiancée along and she was GORGEOUS, and I played some flirty eye contact games with her. She didn’t speak a word of English but I could tell she was enamored with me, my dominance and expertise in my field. If only I could embody that vibe when I go out in the world to meet women… it sure made me want to travel to a foreign country damn, maybe I am an asshole...

Transition to tonight! Got out with a bit more time than Friday, and the bar was PACKED! This place has a “beer bucket” girl by the door. Same girl every weekend. Brunette, early 20s, shoulder length hair and gorgeous doe-like eyes. Every single time I walk in I give her a big ass smile and a wave. Tonight was no different, and she always gives me a big smile and a wave back. I feel like some day I should just go up to her and say “every time I walk in this bar you put me in such a good mood. Your smile is infectious and I I’m curious who the person is behind it”. Idk, sounds cheesy, but I think it could work..

I went out to the patio and was immediately opened by a guy. I could tell this dude was a “gamer”, and he proceeded to explain how he gets girls by being his “fucking awesome self”. I watched him approach four different women, and while he was a bit brash I admired his courage and positive attitude. If I could embody that attitude, but mix it with my communication skills, I will be golden. Just have to get out of my head…

I saw a big group of women (and a couple of guys) standing close by taking shots. One woman was particularly pretty. Guessing she was late 20s. I typically have a thing for early 20s women, but this one was absolutely gorgeous - tight leather coat, red form fitting pants and long blonde hair. I walked over, put my hand on her shoulder and said “I was going to walk past you, but didn’t want to interrupt your shot”. She was very friendly and we chatted for a minute before she went back to talking to her friends. Again, I should have re-engaged the conversation, but I didn’t. Fuck.

It’s getting late, I’ve been on the patio too long, decide to go inside and get my second (and last) drink. As I’m walking towards the bar I see a short Asian girl dancing while staring right at me and smiling. I walk right up to her and say “you’re really cute”. She says something back, but it’s loud as fuck and I can’t hear her, so I gently pull her in towards me and say “I didn’t hear you”. She says whatever she said again, but still can’t hear her. I’m already touching her, so I just said “nice” with a smile and started playfully dancing with her.

We dance for about a minute, then she leans in close and asks me where I’m from. I said something like “here - you?” to which she replied, but I still couldn’t hear her. I see her friend sitting at a table right nearby smiling, so I say hi. Her friend says hi back, we do a little name exchange, then I re-engage the original girl. We’re dancing again, I pull her in a little closer and put my arm over her lower back and let it rest there. She does not resist at all. We keep dancing but with our bodies pressed up close to each other.

At this moment I know it’s on, but my brain is on OVERDRIVE. I wish it had an off button. I keep dancing, and at some point we just look into each others eyes. I felt the tension again like crazy. I lean my head in closer, she leans in towards me and we kiss. She grabbed on to me pretty hard as we kissed too. We talked a little more after and I got her number, but I don’t think I am going to go for it with her. More on that later. Still hyped I kissed a girl tonight!!

Going to post a part two tomorrow with what I learned, where I fucked up and my goals going forward this week… buts it’s late as all hell and I need some sleep. Wanted to get that all out before I forgot the details.

Life is quite the adventure!
JT

 

[JT Sunshine]

Part two, some reflections and realizations.

I have gotten so much better in the last two months, but I REALLY need to step up my game if I am going to master this.

There were a lot of missed opportunities last night. Like… a LOT. I’m finally seeing the opportunities at least, but I’m still getting caught up in my head trying to come up with the “perfect” thing to open with - which doesn’t exist. I can feel a breakthrough coming. I can feeeel it. But I need to be taking more risks if I want to bring this to the next level.

I think my issue isn’t with approaching itself, but what do I say *after* the fact. I’ve proven to myself I can go up to an attractive woman and say “hi”. I usually get a “hi” back with a smile. And then sometimes my mind goes blank.

Maybe I need to think up a default transition. I could go with something direct. If they do smile back, I could say “wow, that’s the prettiest smile I’ve seen tonight” or something totally random like “never thought I’d make it back here - the last time I came my Uber driver almost killed me. Twice. Hey you’re really cute. I’m JT!” … that sounds so lame reading it back, but it would give me a conversational topic to continue with (I have lots of funny Uber horror stories). And delivered with rock-solid body language and vocal tonality I think it could work. Will field test.

I’ve been relying on situational openers too much, and while I am getting good at finding them, most of my “blanks” are when there is nothing to really situationally open with.

Another realization is that I may be going about the daytime/nighttime thing totally backwards. Old school pickup theory said that bars and clubs were great places to practice, so when you meet a girl you like in the day, you’ll have the skills to get her. Makes sense. So I’ve been thinking “I will go out at night (my comfort zone) and work on this stuff, so it will make day game easier. Again, makes sense.

But what if… I stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and tried to meet more women during the day? Like, actually set aside time to go do it, not a random approach here and there while I’m out and the opportunity seems easy. I bet if I could get good at THAT, then bars downtown would be a fishing barrel since there is a premise that people are there to socialize anyways, and it’s chock full of hot girls. Hmmm…

This could help with momentum, too. I always seem to do better on Saturday night, probably from being warmed up from going out Friday night. But I lose that momentum during the week. Ideally this summer I’d like to dedicate three days a week to approaching, three days a week for potential dates, and maybe a seventh day of rest. I’ll try and find time to work somewhere in there too

So the girl I kissed, who I didn’t take things further with intentionally and said I probably wouldn’t try with… She had REALLY bad breath. It was so off-putting. Maybe it had been a long night for her, idk, but I couldn’t get past it. However I want to thank her for inspiring me to keep some mints on me at all times. Because how awful would it be if that was ME??

So now comes the challenge. Where on freaking earth do I find beautiful women during the daytime? It’s finally warm out (like, as of TODAY), so this should get easier. I know the farmers market is packed with hotties, but that’s only open on the weekend. I don’t particularly want to start spending $6 a day on coffee when I’m not a coffee drinker, but maybe it will be worth it if I can find some results there. Big parks near downtown? Wander around shopping districts? I’ll find them..!

Goals this week:
- Get out of my head and stop looking for the perfect moment. I should be creating it.
- Find at least two good daytime locations and approach at least twice at each.
- Ask for one phone number during daytime.
- Try a new venue next weekend
- Set up the date with birthday girl and CLOSE the deal.

It’s beautiful out and I have the day off. I am going for a long walk. Let’s see what I find!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Excellent stuff! As far as drawing blanks on situational openers, Uber stories will do fine.

It’s just about making contact and letting nature take its course.

 

[JT Sunshine]

It’s just about making contact and letting nature take its course.

Thank you! Wise, wise words man. I’m going to explore the crap out of my city this week, and I’ll do just that

 

[JT Sunshine]

Not a ton to report today - one daytime approach.

Had an hour gap between meetings this afternoon, so decided to walk the trail around the lake by where I work with the goal of doing a few approaches. It was warm and windy out, and my hope was some cuties would be enjoying the great outdoors.

Turned out to be a bit of a bust. Mostly old women, one who was walking 13 dogs (yes, I counted) and a few older couples. I made a point to say hi to everyone, to keep myself in that good habit. I spotted ONE kinda cute woman, a little older than me, pretty face, brunette, power walking with her dog.

She was behind me walking in the same direction, so I purposefully slowed down just a bit to let her catch up (how could this go wrong, she was chasing me from the get-go! )

I opened with “you have such a cute dog”. She slowed down and walked with me for a bit, we chatted briefly and I gave her dog some attention too. Didn’t go anywhere and she said “thanks for the chat” and sped back up again. Still happy I had the balls to approach, especially during the daytime.

On my way home from work I decided to stop by a patio I haven’t been to in years to get a happy hour drink and maybe have a shot at another approach or two. Unfortunately the only attractive woman there was the bartender, and I don’t count that as one.

I did get approached by a guy lol… he was just friendly having a good time and talking to everyone. Fun to watch. I know I could easily open any girl the same way and I think it would go very well. It shouldn’t be this hard, but I’m pushing through.

Tomorrow looks like most of my workday will cancel, so I will try somewhere else. I’m not sure where the best place to go is (preferably outside) that will have a decent volume of cuties during the day on a weekday… but if it exists, I will find it. There’s a near-downtown shopping district I may check out, or another lake in a much trendier and densely-populated part of town.

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Good stuff brother. Cute dog approach works every time! I'd love to try the "oh wow your dog is so ugly!" approach sometime, just to see how they handle it. I can imagine some cool chicks would run with it.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Good stuff brother. Cute dog approach works every time! I'd love to try the "oh wow your dog is so ugly!" approach sometime, just to see how they handle it. I can imagine some cool chicks would run with it.

Haaaa I bet some would! You could use that to screen out who does or doesn’t have a sense of humor early love it

 

[JT Sunshine]

Ended up not doing anything but work today - which is fine, cause I’ve had too much time off lately.

However… I sent bday girl a message, and after some back and forth with schedules we are hanging out this Friday! Plan is to watch a movie at her place. I can’t possibly think of any way I could fuck this up… I hope I don’t prove myself wrong

Tomorrow another busy workday. Maybe I can sneak off to do a couple approaches on my break. Will probably have to hit the lake trail again. Maybe yesterday was an off day..

 

[JT Sunshine]

Not much more to report - surprisingly have been working a lot this week, which is good - I can use the money

Birthday girl texted me today, asking if we were still on for tomorrow. Told me she was very excited to hang out with me (all caps) and apologized if “my texts are too dry”. She must be fairly self aware… cause they are pretty damn dry lol. But really?? I know I play it cool, but there’s not much on this earth that would make me cancel a movie-date with a girl who is this attractive. Sheesh.

I am starting to think that she might actually really like me, and my non-neediness/non reactive attitude is driving her crazy. If I text her and don’t get a reply, I don’t text back until she does. And she always does. She works about 60 hours a week, so I get it. But I wonder if most guys fawn over her and text her constantly. I use texting more for logistical purposes, not for getting to know someone.

Either way I have the feeling tomorrow night will be the time of my life, or a self-made train wreck. The sexual tension will be high regardless. Stay tuned

 

[Freakester]

I am starting to think that she might actually really like me, and my non-neediness/non reactive attitude is driving her crazy.

She does, without a doubt.
She seems to be investing a lot into making it work with you.

You are the guy she used to dream about in her teen.

Now, just give her what she deserves. Don't be mean.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Weekend was crazy. I don’t even know where to begin.

This will be a stream of consciousness rambling post, as I’ve been on the go since I woke up Friday morning. It’s super late and I need sleep, but don’t want to forget the details of tonight.

WHAT A WEEKEND. Bday girl threw me a curveball, I played it great, and I will go into detail with a post tomorrow. Long of the short, we did not have our movie date. I think she forgot that was the plan, then chickened out when I reminded her… she asked what we were doing. I told her “we’re watching ___ movie” and her first reply (as I was literally driving to her place) was “my room is so messy” to which I replied “I don’t care, cleaning is so overrated”. Then I got “my roommates dont want anyone over tonight” and an apology. What a LAME excuse, so I decided to pivot.

Told her we could still hang out. There is a new bar I’ve wanted to check out for a while and she could accompany me on a “scouting mission”. We had a great time, she paid her own cover and drinks, and since I was a little annoyed at the switch up I opened a couple of sets with her there. No fucks given.

What I started to realize is I think she is a very NICE girl, who doesn’t have a clue how attractive she is, and probably hasn’t EVER been with an older, attractive guy like me. She is insanely physically attractive, but is incredibly shy. We’re both only children, so I kind of get it… At one point we were making eye contact, no words. I said “I like you, do you like me?” She said “yes”. I leaned in and kissed her, broke off first, then said “good”. Sounds like something straight off the elementary school playground, but I jad

There is no chance of me ending up in the friend zone now, at least. She actually reminds me quite a bit of my ex, and this is playing out very similar. Will most likely fuck her this week, then have to deal with the logistics of how to keep her around without being in a monogamous relationship… because it’s almost summer, and DAMMIT I want to get good at this!!

Since she curved the movie date, I dropped her off and went out.

Three approaches Friday night. None of them great. It was late and I was tired. My best one was to a girl who must have worked at the bar I was at, but was off and hanging out. Some guy was babbling on about the patio upstairs, but she thought he was talking about the strip club upstairs.

I opened with “Hey, you’re missing out on a great opportunity. If you got a job as a stripper up there you would have the shortest commute ever!” we bantered quite a bit and I’m sure I’ll see her again, to which I can tease her about her secret second job as a stripper. I’ll build her a private escalator if she gives me free lap dances when her boss isn’t looking. She was by far the most attractive girl at the bar and I’m proud of myself for opening her

Went out again tonight. I was tired as FUCK and debating in my head if I should even go. I also did a stupid thing and had sex with my ex this afternoon… we had a very nice time but I don’t want to go back down that road. Just wanted the sexual release and it did not disappoint. Whew

I had two really good opens with very attractive girls, four more that went nowhere, and lots of missed opportunities I am kicking myself over.

Realizations from tonight:

I have a little voice in my head that tells me I should talk to a girl, then tries to come up with something to say, and then I freeze up. Usually with girls I am very attracted to. I think this is my subconscious telling me I should go for it. Noted, any time I hear that voice, OPEN!

There was a girl with pink hair, a cute little dress, she ended up right next to me. That voice in my head was like “ask her what her drink is”. But my fear was taking over. Analysis paralysis. I hesitated. I was feeling more and more awkward. I thought in my head “you will regret this if you don’t say SOMETHING.”

Somehow I overcame my fear, put my hand on her shoulder and said “that shot looks fire, what is it?”. SHE SMILED BIG and we talked for a bit. Can you imagine if I hadn’t spoken to her? I would be sitting here right now beating myself up about it.

What I am realizing is that I am my own worst enemy most of the time. Women seem to respond so positively to me when I talk to them, but a lot of the time I’m just fucking scared to talk to them. WHY?? It’s like I’m rejecting myself. There is NO good reason for this. Also I should have gone for the phone number on that one, but my dumb ass was so excited that a gorgeous woman was taking to me that I didn’t. Hopefully lesson learned, and I will start to go for results instead of just being happy I took action.

Found my way infiltrating a 21st birthday celebration, had a nice conversation with a CUUUTE blonde girl. Again, should have gone for the number but didn’t, however we were vibing effortlessly and I’m still proud of myself for it. I have plenty of areas to improve on, but I’m getting better and will keep pushing.

I posted a couple shots of tonight on my snap story, and birthday girl messaged me saying she hates herself for being “lame” not coming out, that she wants to party with me next weekend, but that if I’m free before then we should watch that movie…

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Weekend was crazy. I don’t even know where to begin.

This will be a stream of consciousness rambling post, as I’ve been on the go since I woke up Friday morning. It’s super late and I need sleep, but don’t want to forget the details of tonight.

WHAT A WEEKEND. Bday girl threw me a curveball, I played it great, and I will go into detail with a post tomorrow. Long of the short, we did not have our movie date. I think she forgot that was the plan, then chickened out when I reminded her… she asked what we were doing. I told her “we’re watching ___ movie” and her first reply (as I was literally driving to her place) was “my room is so messy” to which I replied “I don’t care, cleaning is so overrated”. Then I got “my roommates dont want anyone over tonight” and an apology. What a LAME excuse, so I decided to pivot.

Told her we could still hang out. There is a new bar I’ve wanted to check out for a while and she could accompany me on a “scouting mission”. We had a great time, she paid her own cover and drinks, and since I was a little annoyed at the switch up I opened a couple of sets with her there. No fucks given.

What I started to realize is I think she is a very NICE girl, who doesn’t have a clue how attractive she is, and probably hasn’t EVER been with an older, attractive guy like me. She is insanely physically attractive, but is incredibly shy. We’re both only children, so I kind of get it… At one point we were making eye contact, no words. I said “I like you, do you like me?” She said “yes”. I leaned in and kissed her, broke off first, then said “good”. Sounds like something straight off the elementary school playground, but I jad

There is no chance of me ending up in the friend zone now, at least. She actually reminds me quite a bit of my ex, and this is playing out very similar. Will most likely fuck her this week, then have to deal with the logistics of how to keep her around without being in a monogamous relationship… because it’s almost summer, and DAMMIT I want to get good at this!!

Since she curved the movie date, I dropped her off and went out.

Three approaches Friday night. None of them great. It was late and I was tired. My best one was to a girl who must have worked at the bar I was at, but was off and hanging out. Some guy was babbling on about the patio upstairs, but she thought he was talking about the strip club upstairs.

I opened with “Hey, you’re missing out on a great opportunity. If you got a job as a stripper up there you would have the shortest commute ever!” we bantered quite a bit and I’m sure I’ll see her again, to which I can tease her about her secret second job as a stripper. I’ll build her a private escalator if she gives me free lap dances when her boss isn’t looking. She was by far the most attractive girl at the bar and I’m proud of myself for opening her

Went out again tonight. I was tired as FUCK and debating in my head if I should even go. I also did a stupid thing and had sex with my ex this afternoon… we had a very nice time but I don’t want to go back down that road. Just wanted the sexual release and it did not disappoint. Whew

I had two really good opens with very attractive girls, four more that went nowhere, and lots of missed opportunities I am kicking myself over.

Realizations from tonight:

I have a little voice in my head that tells me I should talk to a girl, then tries to come up with something to say, and then I freeze up. Usually with girls I am very attracted to. I think this is my subconscious telling me I should go for it. Noted, any time I hear that voice, OPEN!

There was a girl with pink hair, a cute little dress, she ended up right next to me. That voice in my head was like “ask her what her drink is”. But my fear was taking over. Analysis paralysis. I hesitated. I was feeling more and more awkward. I thought in my head “you will regret this if you don’t say SOMETHING.”

Somehow I overcame my fear, put my hand on her shoulder and said “that shot looks fire, what is it?”. SHE SMILED BIG and we talked for a bit. Can you imagine if I hadn’t spoken to her? I would be sitting here right now beating myself up about it.

What I am realizing is that I am my own worst enemy most of the time. Women seem to respond so positively to me when I talk to them, but a lot of the time I’m just fucking scared to talk to them. WHY?? It’s like I’m rejecting myself. There is NO good reason for this. Also I should have gone for the phone number on that one, but my dumb ass was so excited that a gorgeous woman was taking to me that I didn’t. Hopefully lesson learned, and I will start to go for results instead of just being happy I took action.

Found my way infiltrating a 21st birthday celebration, had a nice conversation with a CUUUTE blonde girl. Again, should have gone for the number but didn’t, however we were vibing effortlessly and I’m still proud of myself for it. I have plenty of areas to improve on, but I’m getting better and will keep pushing.

I posted a couple shots of tonight on my snap story, and birthday girl messaged me saying she hates herself for being “lame” not coming out, that she wants to party with me next weekend, but that if I’m free before then we should watch that movie…

Great stuff! You’re probably a couple notches ahead of me in development so I’m enjoying this very much. It gives me a preview of how much fun is waiting for me out there once I bust through my anxieties and insecurities.

Dealt with a fair bit of approach anxiety this weekend myself. Will hopefully post up tonight.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Great stuff! You’re probably a couple notches ahead of me in development so I’m enjoying this very much. It gives me a preview of how much fun is waiting for me out there once I bust through my anxieties and insecurities.

Dealt with a fair bit of approach anxiety this weekend myself. Will hopefully post up tonight.

Thank you! Knowing that a couple people read these actually does help keep me motivated to get out there and improve, haha.

It is great fun knowing I can go out and create my own night without having to rely on a social circle or alcohol (my old crutches). But that approach anxiety can be absolutely crippling, and I’m still missing more shots than I’m taking. But we are both going to break through that barrier my friend - and summer is right around the corner!

 

[gameboy]

What I am realizing is that I am my own worst enemy most of the time. Women seem to respond so positively to me when I talk to them, but a lot of the time I’m just fucking scared to talk to them. WHY?? It’s like I’m rejecting myself. There is NO good reason for this. Also I should have gone for the phone number on that one, but my dumb ass was so excited that a gorgeous woman was taking to me that I didn’t. Hopefully lesson learned, and I will start to go for results instead of just being happy I took action.

I can totally relate! Most approaches, if I can make myself do them, actually go pretty well for me. Then at some point I decide to bail for some reason that in hindsight, makes no sense at all.

 

[JT Sunshine]

I can totally relate! Most approaches, if I can make myself do them, actually go pretty well for me. Then at some point I decide to bail for some reason that in hindsight, makes no sense at all.

Yes! Absolutely one of my biggest struggles right now too. In my case I think my brain is telling me to leave things on a high-note and not risk the potential awkwardness of getting shot down. But I need to try and get past that

 

[JT Sunshine]

I've been sick as a dog this week and have been forcing myself to work, as I need the $$$ and only earn when I'm working. No time to do much else as I've had an intermittent fever and been totally wiped out physically and mentally. Little to report. I have quite the exciting job tho, I have been posting super cool instagram stories (that my employer always reposts), and the HOTTIE blonde sales girl who works down the street and occasionally stops in - who I've never really talked to - just added me out of the blue. Hrmmm... she's totally my type. Stupid attractive. I'm going to make a point to chat her up next time she's in.

Anyways, that's my excitement for the week. So, since I have nothing else to share, here is my APRIL RECAP!

April Recap

Since March, I've been keeping on with my spreadsheet to track different metrics of my interactions. Now I can compare them month to month. Yes, I'm a bit of a nerd...

The Stats:

- Approaches: 21 (up from 16 in March)
- Average “looks” rating: 7.3 (ranging from 5-9.5) (up from 6.9 in March)
- Reactions: 3 very positive, 14 positive, 4 neutral (decent improvement)
- Of the 8s and above, 89% reacted positively to the open (up from 50% in March)
- I was the one who ended the interaction 10 times, she ended the interaction 5 times, and 5 of them just kept on walking (one I'm still interacting with...lol). (I am not the one ending the interactions as much, which means I am pushing further, which is GOOD)
- Of the total girls opened, 19% were by themself and 81% were in a group, size ranging from 2-6 people. Opened the full group 3 times, including a group of 6 (opening many more groups, always a big sticking point of mine)
- Blondes made up 43% of my opens, brunettes 29%, black hair 24% and one with pink hair. (I'm diversifying, haha)
- 62% of my opens appeared to be in the 21-25 year old age range, with the youngest being 18-20 and the oldest being 31-35 (skewed a bit younger this month... I'm getting a bit more ballsy at the bar, and that's who is there)
- My best interaction opened with me saying (situationally): “need this?” (her pen wasn't working, I had one). (She's been blowing me up this week wanting to hang out, but I've been sick as fuck. She sent me a pic of herself lying in bed last night wearing not much. It's on, if I can just handle logistics... she works in healthcare and is ALWAYS WORKING )
- Two numbers, two kisses, one date. (up from zero last month!)

Realizations/Sticking Points:

April was a great improvement from March! I talked to more women, more groups, women who I found more attractive, and had a higher percent of positive reactions from the women I found most attractive. I kissed two of them and actually hung out with one - who still seems very into me (but has been a logistical nightmare).

Last month I was ending the interactions too early. Instead of pushing myself, controlling the frame and leading, I was so focused on trying to *open* that I wasn't progressing the interactions as far as I should have been. Fixing this was my main goal in April - and for the most part I hit the mark. However, I have missed a ton of opportunities to at least go for a number, isolation, or an instant-date. This will be my main goal for May. Also missed a ton of opportunities to approach. This will change too - I will stop rejecting myself and just go for it.

Another goal for April was to practice day game a LOT more. I was unable to stop a moving girl/set in March, and while this still held true for April, I opened more girls during the day, and got one to slow down and talk at least. Not an excuse, but it's been raining for the past two weeks which really didn't help. Still, I need a LOT of work in this area, and it will be my May focus for sure.

I tried a couple "direct" approaches for the first time, with mixed results (but one ending in a kiss). High risk, high reward..?

Lots of positive reactions and no nasty blowouts. WTF am I still getting nervous and in my head about??

Learning Moment:

With the girl I went the furthest with in April (birthday girl), when I found myself making moves to push things further (Do I text her? Do I ask her to have drinks with me? Do I tell her I like her?) every time I went full-send, the reaction was GREAT. I need to be escalating more, and faster. I've got to be willing to lose the "comfort" of the interaction to risk pushing it further, which should open many more apartment doors for me..
It's great being an opener, now it's time to be a closer too.

For May:

My main goals for May are:

- Approach 25 women during the day, and ask AT LEAST 10 for a number/instant date.
- Approach 25 women during the night, and ask AT LEAST 10 for a number/isolation/pull.
- Get at least 5 phone numbers.
- Get rejected at least 5 times
- Get my first cold approach lay of the year

During my time being sick, I came up with a loose-framework for structuring an interaction from open to phone number. The idea is to have a default type of reply for each point I typically freeze up or eject from an interaction (usually because I "don't know what to say").

It starts with approaching situationally, bantering/flirting, having a few good questions/stories for any time the interaction starts to fizzle, a seed for the date idea (in the form of the question she will likely answer yes to) then handing her my phone to put in the digits - cause how else are we supposed to do said thing? It's written out in great detail with four scenario-based examples for both daygame and nightgame. I am BEYOND excited to share it with you, but I must field test it first... stay tuned.

Even if I'm not 100% better by this weekend I am forcing myself to go out. Bars at night, and a big food-truck, music, street festival this Sunday during the day. Should be quite fun.

Cheers,
JT

 

[JT Sunshine]

Five days into May, it's late Saturday night, and I made the long drive home alone again... time to report on my week while it's still fresh.

Overall disappointed in myself so far this month. I've had lots working against me, but I need to rise above it all. Still feeling sick as fuck - the fever is gone, the pounding headache is gone, but I've essentially lost my voice and it's just not coming back. I am not a fan of taking medication, but I took quite a cocktail of pills tonight along with two spoonfuls of honey and an energy drink in hopes I could feel normal going out. Ended up with a weird stomachache and not *much* improvement with my voice. But damn it, I was determined to try.

Prior to tonight I've been working a ton and feeling like absolute dogshit. I managed to muster up one daytime approach while on a walk Thursday. She was a super cute brunette, about 30 years old, a bit plain looking but had a dynamite smile and beautiful doe-eyes. Found out she lives right by me, but just had her first baby with her new husband. I politely told her congrats and to enjoy her walk. I'm not interested in being a homewrecker. Boyfriend destroyer... maybe. But not this. I think she genuinely enjoyed the interaction and it gave me a little bit of life in what's seemed like a miserable week otherwise.

At work yesterday the sales-girl hottie was in to film some promotional video. I was talking to a client when she walked by us with her camera guy. She gave me some of the most intense eye contact of my life. I may have creeped her insta a bit after she added me, and she is a PARTY girl who is also killing it in her professional life. Respect. I was looking quite dapper that day and if the perfect opportunity arises where I get some one-on-one time with her, I bet I could get her out for a drink with me. No rush on this one, but WHEEEEEW is she fine.

Anyways, on to the disappointment...

Went out tonight, first to Saloon Bar then Legacy. Saloon Bar was CHOCK full of hotties as always, and for some dumb reason I found myself completely freezing up. It reminded me of the first time I went to the popular college bar in my town the day after I turned 21 - most of my friends were still 20 so I went solo. Everyone there seemed to be in friend groups, and I was alone. I felt isolated and I didn't say a word to anyone. This same feeling hit me tonight. I couldn't muster up the courage to say ANYTHING to ANYONE. Replaying it in my head right now there were at least 3-4 perfect opportunities to comment on some wild attire, there was a bachelorette party I should have talked to, but I did nothing. I did position myself so a girl dancing wildly smacked me in the chest, to which she apologized profusely. Put my arm around her shoulder and said "it's fine love, just keep dancing", but then did nothing else. I left shortly after, feeling a bit defeated.

Legacy bar was mildly packed tonight. I will say the ratio was worse than usual, at least 75% guys and most of the girls were already talking to guys. STILL there were plenty I could have approached but didn't. I did go for a fun little experiment, where I was actually able to position myself where two girls stumbled into me and then apologized profusely (similar to the girl at Saloon), to which I made cheeky little comments back. Went nowhere but was better than being a wallflower. Might keep trying this out.

Made two situational openers before bar close.... I saw one girl, carrying multiple drinks, from one of the bars trying to get through the crowded dance floor. I looked at her, down at her drinks, back at her, then put my hand on her back and said "I sincerely wish you the best of luck". She smiled and replied with "I'll need it", then actually gave me one of the drinks... haha. I tried to interact with her a bit more but she was clearly annoyed and on a mission.

A bit later I was back at the bar and ordered a water. A VERY attractive girl pulls up next to me and also orders a water. I turn to her and said "best drink ever, right?" but my voice is so hoarse she just looks at me with a confused expression. I lean in a bit and say, louder "best drink ever... right?" then hold up my water. She smiles and says "hell yeah" and we cheers. She turned away, and for whatever reason I did not reengage.

That's it. So much more I could have done tonight. Birthday girl sent me a video message this morning, I replied to see when she was free to hang out, and it's been radio silence. Maybe today is not my day...

The forecast looks great this week, and I can't get any sicker. I'm fed up and angry with myself, and come hell or high water I am going to go for a walk around the lake tomorrow in the trendy part of town and try to guess the name of every cute girl's dog. Or something... I've given myself lofty goals for this month and feel like I've hit a plateau. I need to snap myself out of it. Take risks. Stop being shy. I know I can do this. The only thing holding me back is me.