The biggest epiphany I've had about women, game and life to date. (Long Post)

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I don't even know where to begin this, in fact, I was at a loss of words for hours when I went through this whole thing. I even thought about holding off on this post but then my gut finally told me that this could be a change that happens forever. It isn't that the conversation I had with an old friend changed things, it is that it was the straw that broke the camel's back after a lot of what has happened in recent months. As always, hard to count @Franco out in anything, dude was definitely on to something and this is something I used to debate with @Hector Papi Castillo viciously about a year ago.

The year 2019 is almost over and it has been among the most transformative years of my entire life, what's different is that despite the success I had sleeping with well over 100 different women, I realized how much work I still need to do on my development.

Earlier today, I talked to an old friend, one of the very few people I was closed to in college. My friend was a fraternity president at the school I went to, a top 10 party school above the Mason-Dixon line. I wouldn't say he was the biggest man on campus but he was itching near it, very near it. The reason my friend is special is because he hung out with in college where I was struggling and we occasionally hang out now, he has seen me transform.

A very brief as possible story of Oh Pry.

In college, I occasionally got laid but was largely a social misfit, never one of the cool kids, and it drove me insane some nights for years even after graduation. Never invited to the big parties going on and I was suicidally depressed one year. It hurt me to see hot girls out with a group of guys who were not me and it hurt me even more feeling like the experience of college can never be replicated. At times, even insulted by fraternity guys and douchebags in college, some of which stuck to me well after.

After college, I moved to NYC where a lot of my alumni moved as well, found that the tables were slowly turning and the same dudes who ignored me were trying to be a part of my life as they saw me having success with some hot girls.

SOB story over, now on to our conversation.

At one point, my friend makes a remark about my snaps and social media image. We talk about how I always seem to be out with a cute girl and how he has seen me with a number of cute girls in past years. I jokingly say how him and his bros had their day in college and so I have mines, then tell him I might not be able to replicate that frat star life but I am happy with what I have now and it's better than nothing. So my friend responds with something that hit deep and will stick with me forever.

"When it comes to this sort of stuff, being on the outside looking in tells you little. Movies, what other say, and what is stereotyped is rarely true. What you see on social media, party pictures, and gossip is rarely true. Even in the top houses, most dudes had girlfriends or got laid every now and then, nothing like 50 different girls a year. Even college athletes were too busy to live that kind of life, they had workouts and were on strict curfews. You can only know so much being on the outside looking in and that's with everything in life."

Despite me going to a party school which has been ranked as high as number 1 by Playboy, I was dumbfounded to find this to be the case but it slowly started making sense to me. I asked questions that my mind answered.

If these guys came from such well-connected pedigrees with women and social ties, why were some trying to be a part of my world and at times talking to girls in my life? Aren't their vast network of sorority girls enough?

Why is it that even for the highest value guys, I saw them at most with 2 to 3 different girls constantly and that was it?

Why is it that even when I have seen these guys out consistently, it is almost always with the same small group of women from college days if even that?

Why is it that even after college, it is former frat guys I run into who are desperately trying to find where to meet women? Isn't their social network from school enough?

We are talking guys here from arguably the best party school in America with some of the hottest girls going out there, even the top ones, gaming like PUAs these days. Men (frat guys) who in American society are stereotyped as the cream of the crop group for slaying pussy.

Not according to my friend who was in an above average (top 3) frat and well involved there, not at all. In fact, even in the frat, most guys did not get laid. Even in the frat, most guys had to rely on luck and could not risk a bad reputation. Even being in a top frat, a lot of guys had to walk on eggshells and majority went the LTR route.

I am surprised at the amount of frat guys I knew in college who used tinder and talked a lot about it or tried to explore other avenues for meeting women.

Then I had an epiphany.

On one hand, the epiphany was that you cannot judge a house from the outside, there is so much going on there you know nothing about. Here I was being told that fraternity men at top frats get laid more than Hugh Hefner in his prime, now having a deep conversation with one, this was not close to being the case.

Even deeper than that, I had an epiphany on an entirely different level.

For close to almost all men, the game is a fucking grind and everyone has to pay their dues.

If you want to be with relatively attractive women on a somewhat often basis, it is a grind.

I thought that here were guys who had hot girls delivered to them and it took no effort at all, they barely needed game. What I found was that even most of these guys, if not all, had to play the grind after college. It is why I witnessed a good number lazily and inefficiently try to talk to hot girls while a guy with tight game who put the years into learning cold approach and perfecting his skill did it easily.

Just because you didn't have social life and luck handed to you on a silver platter, it doesn't mean you are really at that big of a disadvantage externally, it means you have ways to go internally.

You should not be discouraged because you were late to the game or didn't have social boosts growing up (like a promising social circle) because in today's world and through what @Chase teaches, you get to explore all that is possible.

Most of all, I realized how much ground can be made up for by putting in the work for a few years, while it might look like it externally, you are not really that far behind. I realized how in more of an open society, how much truly is possible and how methods outside of social circle game can be so so freeing.

All the more motivation for me to get back to cold approaching HARD.

Stay on the grind bros!

Shoutouts to @Hue @Seppuku @Velasco @Tony D and as much as I hate this dude sometimes, even @naturalmikey for his stellar contributions.

 

[Hue]

"When it comes to this sort of stuff, being on the outside looking in tells you little. Movies, what other say, and what is stereotyped is rarely true. What you see on social media, party pictures, and gossip is rarely true. Even in the top houses, most dudes had girlfriends or got laid every now and then, nothing like 50 different girls a year. Even college athletes were too busy to live that kind of life, they had workouts and were on strict curfews. You can only know so much being on the outside looking in and that's with everything in life."

Yeeeeeep. I had one foot in one foot out of a top tier greek life frat during my time at university. This is absolutely true. Even the biggest frat stars (while they usually would have legendary runs) would eventually get blasted because of reputation and / or take a top notch girlfriend.

But you gathered this idea of what it was when you were still in school. Since you can't go back and experience the greek life shit, the idea remains. Your friend is absolutely right.

And we've mentioned to you plenty of times how, since that shit is in the past, there's nothing more you can do than improve your life NOW and see where it goes. You spend a lot of time deliberating and mentally masturbating these ideas, instead of taking ACTION.

Every one of those small moments of action gets you what you want, not letting your imagination run wild.

Most of all, I realized how much ground can be made up for by putting in the work for a few years, while it might look like it externally, you are not really that far behind. I realized how in more of an open society, how much truly is possible and how methods outside of social circle game can be so so freeing.

All the more motivation for me to get back to cold approaching HARD.

Stay on the grind bros!

Looking forward to your progress.


Hue

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

@Hue

Come on bud, read the field reports and journal section, I take action every weekend these days. A man can reflect every now and then but personal shit aside, I noticed something odd recently.

I moved to NYC right after college and it seemed like a lot of the cool frat stars from my alma mater moved with me. Some bars in the city are literally gathering spots for alumni of certain schools, including my own. To some degree even in this city, that shit carries over but thank god this is NYC and not a dump like Dallas lol.

Some nights I go out to certain bars and there they are lol, same ole kids I knew in college and talked to still there along with same ole sorority girls. Funny story of how a few times I've ended up banging a couple of sorority girls after college I could never get around to banging in college through circumstances.

Kinda scary to think that even in NYC, it's a small fucking world.

 

[Hue]

Come on bud, read the field reports and journal section, I take action every weekend these days. A man can reflect every now and then but personal shit aside, I noticed something odd recently

I know you've been going out, sure. I more meant your time consuming indulgences into these big posts you seem to like making.

With this one I definitely like some of the nuggets of truth it contains. Now I just hope some of the epiphanies stick and we don't find ourselves here again in a few months.

Some nights I go out to certain bars and there they are lol, same ole kids I knew in college and talked to still there along with same ole sorority girls. Funny story of how a few times I've ended up banging a couple of sorority girls after college I could never get around to banging in college through circumstances.

xD Yup.

Usually, none of those guys end up fucking those girls if they haven't already. They just wish to themselves that eventually they'll get some chance, down the road, to get that ass.

But, since plenty of people don't see their opportunity to grow outside of these groups, those chances are rare and far between. Some people have no desire to level up in reality, and would rather cling to the clout of their former status.

Because that's all it was the whole time for plenty of people: clout. They liked being "cool" and being able to leverage status temporarily.

Some of those people were actually cool, and some of those people continue to grow.. those are the people that went through greek life with solid priorities and didn't let up.

Unfortunately, there still remains lots of folks that didn't have that sort of foresight in addition to their tendency to cling to the past. Even if that person had some great years, self-made obstacles that block growth as a human being hold people back.. mainly from their own potential and future opportunities.

 

[Carousel]

Social circle game is fine for development of various social skills. However, it is a crutch when it comes to meeting new women. No surprise that these frat boys become uncool when their silver platter is taken from them. Same thing happens with PUAs who are too reliant on a favorite venue. You are much better off in the long run with night or day game unless you are extremely good looking, then online is OK.

 

[naturalmikey]

oddly the most successful natural i ever knew with women was not in a fraternity. he was a bit of a loner. he was handsome but not tall and had bad teeth. he wasn’t even that handsome. but he was incredibly charming. he was constantly dating. he had no problem approaching girls on the street or in malls. this was in morgantown wv, where wvu is always one of the top party schools. often number one (don’t know if that’s still the case). regardless, he was not hooking up with a new girl every week. he was great at always having one girl, maybe two. at his peak he was probably getting a new girl to bed once every couple weeks and he retained them very well. and they were hot. i was jealous af. this was hands down the best natural i knew. i also knew a lot of football players and frat boys that were not doing nearly as well.

the thing i realized when i got into pua and discovered it’s not that dificult to get attractive girls is that naturals aren’t that good. above average guys who dedicate a year to learning and field testing pua content (even if it’s just the blueprint decoded) can be as good as top natural guys within a year.

 

[naturalmikey]

I know you've been going out, sure. I more meant your time consuming indulgences into these big posts you seem to like making.

With this one I definitely like some of the nuggets of truth it contains. Now I just hope some of the epiphanies stick and we don't find ourselves here again in a few months.



xD Yup.

Usually, none of those guys end up fucking those girls if they haven't already. They just wish to themselves that eventually they'll get some chance, down the road, to get that ass.

But, since plenty of people don't see their opportunity to grow outside of these groups, those chances are rare and far between. Some people have no desire to level up in reality, and would rather cling to the clout of their former status.

Because that's all it was the whole time for plenty of people: clout. They liked being "cool" and being able to leverage status temporarily.

Some of those people were actually cool, and some of those people continue to grow.. those are the people that went through greek life with solid priorities and didn't let up.

Unfortunately, there still remains lots of folks that didn't have that sort of foresight in addition to their tendency to cling to the past. Even if that person had some great years, self-made obstacles that block growth as a human being hold people back.. mainly from their own potential and future opportunities.

it does seem like you’re going out a lot. something happens when you keep going out. something clicks. it doesn’t happen overnight. but eventually girls become very predictable. it’s like you’re constantly dealing with the same 5-10 girls over and over.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Yeah @Hue I feel like my biggest roadblock in the past year or even two was chasing the cool image instead of just getting really good at game and talking to women. While some of the guys I knew who fit that image in college were genuinely cool guys, most people I knew were really insecure deep down and just overall shitty people.

To be momentarily blunt, I found that it was always the guys who were not naturally handsome and charismatic that were the rudest and snotty. The farther away they got from the tall, handsome, and white look the more douchey they were. For girls, I feel like it came down to looks. I always hear that a 6 or 7 is worse than a 9 or 10 in terms of rejecting you because she is deeply insecure and knows the genetics are not there.

Even after college, I feel like these people do not really change that much.

You will find them going to the same "popular" bars and given that it is NYC, almost laugh when the bouncer hilariously rejects them and their little crew. You will find them always trying to keep up with the trends on social media and be a part of that, even live in the same neighborhoods that are stereotyped as popular. All the while the well-connected guy will be scoping out the areas hot girls who are tired of those kinds of venues actually end up at. The guy who put in the work will be found in areas with good connections, ratios, and a lot of hot girls.

 

[Tony D]

It is always a grind when it comes to girls. You have your moments when it's like the tap is open, and all this abundance is pouring out, but that's usually the result of work you did in the past. So you get complacent, take it easy, and then the spigot goes dry. So you go back to work, and six months later you're reaping the results again.

That can all be mitigated somewhat with the right social circle, for sure. They can give you access to their riches, their connections, that they had to work for. But for natural extroverts it doesn't seem like work. For introverts it is. I'm an introvert too but I went through a stage where I was very extroverted because I wanted to get girls. That was my ONLY motivation. Now that it's not my main motivation I find I hardly care to go with the crowd, the frat, the club, etc.

It will still be a grind to go out and meet women starting from scratch, no matter how good you are. I just spent nine months on the road, and every new place I was at zero. I still managed to have some great adventures with a handful of women. But I had to approach a lot to meet them. It never changes. You become more skilled but like the ageing rock star who can still play, you might not have access to the same band mates, and now it's all on you.

 

[naturalmikey]

It is always a grind when it comes to girls. You have your moments when it's like the tap is open, and all this abundance is pouring out, but that's usually the result of work you did in the past. So you get complacent, take it easy, and then the spigot goes dry. So you go back to work, and six months later you're reaping the results again.

That can all be mitigated somewhat with the right social circle, for sure. They can give you access to their riches, their connections, that they had to work for. But for natural extroverts it doesn't seem like work. For introverts it is. I'm an introvert too but I went through a stage where I was very extroverted because I wanted to get girls. That was my ONLY motivation. Now that it's not my main motivation I find I hardly care to go with the crowd, the frat, the club, etc.

It will still be a grind to go out and meet women starting from scratch, no matter how good you are. I just spent nine months on the road, and every new place I was at zero. I still managed to have some great adventures with a handful of women. But I had to approach a lot to meet them. It never changes. You become more skilled but like the ageing rock star who can still play, you might not have access to the same band mates, and now it's all on you.

bro so true. when you’re in abundance it’s like you can’t do anything wrong. but then you fall for someone or get lazy and it’s over. and when it rains it pours. it’s amazing what having just one consistent fb does.

 

[Mr.Rob]

How did you bang over 100 new girls in one year with a full time job?

Id like to see the sparknotes on that. Seems like a pretty advanced number.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

How did you bang over 100 new girls in one year with a full time job?

Id like to see the sparknotes on that. Seems like a pretty advanced number.

If that was intended towards me, I did not do that in a year, more like almost 6 years since I joined this site in 2014.

I need to update the number too lol, think I am over 110 now.

 

[Mr.Rob]

The year 2019 is almost over and it has been among the most transformative years of my entire life, what's different is that despite the success I had sleeping with well over 100 different women, I realized how much work I still need to do on my development

Aha +100 total not just in this year. That sounds more doable lol. The OP had me scratchin my head a bit.

Well glad that youve finally come around to what we've been saying since you joined the boards. But I get it sometimes youve got to experience and see it for your own eyes to believe it.

Cheers

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Aha +100 total not just in this year. That sounds more doable lol. The OP had me scratchin my head a bit.

Well glad that youve finally come around to what we've been saying since you joined the boards. But I get it sometimes youve got to experience and see it for your own eyes to believe it.

Cheers

I mean who knows man, we might just get to that point in a year, really getting to taking Chase's challenge of the 7 things you can do to up your lay count.

 

[naturalmikey]

I mean who knows man, we might just get to that point in a year, really getting to taking Chase's challenge of the 7 things you can do to up your lay count.

100 a year wouldn’t be that dificult if you were really devoted. i got approximately 75 my first year, which was my best year by shear volume, worst by quality. it’s only two a week to get 100. two a week is not that difficult. it just takes a lot of dedication to consistently do that.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

100 a year wouldn’t be that dificult if you were really devoted. i got approximately 75 my first year, which was my best year by shear volume, worst by quality. it’s only two a week to get 100. two a week is not that difficult. it just takes a lot of dedication to consistently do that.

Haha, yeah well, when you consistently have other shit that piles up and a cut-throat career where you want to work new years just to not get burnt out, I realize that it is tougher than usual. It is why dating apps have been king to me man, they save me time while nightgame involves longer nights for me.

Ideally, I'd love to take a year or two to work in nightlife if I could but the nightlife scene in NYC is extremely cut-throat. Lots of career bartenders.

 

[naturalmikey]

Haha, yeah well, when you consistently have other shit that piles up and a cut-throat career where you want to work new years just to not get burnt out, I realize that it is tougher than usual. It is why dating apps have been king to me man, they save me time while nightgame involves longer nights for me.

Ideally, I'd love to take a year or two to work in nightlife if I could but the nightlife scene in NYC is extremely cut-throat. Lots of career bartenders.

you think i got laid 75 times in a year from cold approach alone? hell no. that year it was almost all tinder. once i got good at cold approach my number stays around 50 a year, or one a week. from a combination of tinder and cold approach. when you’re doing both you rack up lays without devoting too much time to either.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

you think i got laid 75 times in a year from cold approach alone? hell no. that year it was almost all tinder. once i got good at cold approach my number stays around 50 a year, or one a week. from a combination of tinder and cold approach. when you’re doing both you rack up lays without devoting too much time to either.

Yeah, I have not had the time to dedicate to get that good at both but that is changing in 2020.

 

[Hue]

My dad claims that during his peak he slept with 100+ women, and that he had his dick in some pussy for all but 2-3 days, over the entire year.

Dunno if I fully believe him. But, could be true lol. If you're super advanced and actually make an effort to do so, I'm sure you could.

Would probably get a little boring though... haha.

 

[naturalmikey]

@Oh Pry if you go out a lot you’ll catch traction. i don’t know exactly what happens. i guess your ras tunes into receptive girls but you catch fire. you start getting approached a lot and you start approaching the right girls. also girls become extremely predictable. it took me about a year of consistently going out for it become automatic. after my recent breakup it took about three months. it’s easy to get back to whatever level of success you previously had then you’ll build on it. are you studying content and field testing it? it speeds things up considerably. id find someone whose content resonates with you. for me my personality is probably mostly like todd v. i’m very reserved and introverted. yet oddly i rarely resonate with his content. rsd julien probably helped me the most. his personality is so much different than mine it really got me out of my shell. the commonality is we both have that really fucked up sense of humor. the articles here, specifically the ones written by chase are also very good. he seems quite scholarly. chase also has a rationale male review. if you don’t want to read the entire book i’d check out his review.

if you’ve never read the rationale male this book review summarized it pretty well

Book Review: The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

A review of The Rational Male, a book focused at upending fem-centric thinking in men and teaching them to think like men again. Rollo Tomassi’s book, The Rational Male, is an amalgamation of essays from content on his own website, The Rational Male, and other dating advice forums where he...

www.girlschase.com