The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

4 approaches today but elements of fear, shame, and inertia popped up. Along with non-approaching due to social impressions. Following gut instincts is still the main improvement to be made. Cutting out phone usage to better be present throughout the day also matters.

Not going to beat myself up over this. Also there is a balance between relaxed groundedness and expressivity. Ideally you are both, so I need to make sure to practice expressivity.

Self-kindness. Also the difference between urgency and panicked energy. One denotes moving forward decisively towards an end because of knowledge that our time is finite. The other is fear because of an opportunity that might vanish.

 

[Kvothe]

Had a date yesterday and the girl was amazing. I need to approach more because I have some rose colored glasses from scarcity and being touch starved. But still this girl is incredibly my type so we'll see where it goes. Did 2 date model just bc she wasn't free over the weekend and I had other plans after the date already.

She seems excited.

Minor notes-upon making a sexual tease, make sure to keep eye contact to amp tension, as opposed to shifting eye contact.
On a kiss that is not super well-received, don't go for it again-keep in control.

Was really pleasant to enjoy a girl's company who was super warm and sensual and just physically draped all over each other. Very excited to see her again because I want to see how fun she is while getting fucked really well. Need to attune my sexual self more because yesterday was definitely more emotional-toned. I also understand I don't have as much control now over whether we meet again, so I won't beat myself up, but will continue to approach and learn.

Humility, and gratitude.

 

[Kvothe]

A lot of socializing last weekend and improving. Hector says I'm talking more simply, which is good. Mood is up.

Been better at attuning to the girl's level of interest, and am improving at making interactions fun. Have to take a mini-break to finish something else.

Girl from above got deported so yet another reason to move faster.

 

[Científico]

• She's not attractive enough
• She's too attractive
• She looks too young
• I don't feel attractive enough to approach right now
• It's too crowded
• There are too many people watching
• There are too few people
• I feel so emotionally negative that I expect her to reject me so it doesn't make sense to approach

I have experienced all of these. The last one in particular. They are currently preventing me from reaching full potential re: cold approach.

Is there truly a way to overcome?

 

[Kvothe]

I have experienced all of these. The last one in particular. They are currently preventing me from reaching full potential re: cold approach.

Is there truly a way to overcome?

Approach anyway until you get over it? Meditate? Eat healthy, sleep well, workout, and get other things in life handled? Take time away, spend time with friends? Avoid weed, alcohol? Go out with wings? Have a good support system? Journal? Do something nice for other people and get your mind to focus on others?

I do a lot of things, some help-sometimes I feel just taking action is enough.

 

[Kvothe]

Had some surgeries for health issues. In recovery right now. Looking forward to a clean bill of health from January for the first time since 2021.

Writing some thoughts that I'm having that I don't want to forget.

As I simplify my conversational style-I need to simplify how I do gambits too. Making them forced or trying to force them isn't a good strategy, better to have it come across naturally and via the flow of conversation.

Girls are silly and cute. The one who told me dinner dates only I should not take so seriously. Same with most hiccups. Viewing it as fun and exciting is a better more seductive mindset than taking everything so seriously.

Express through facial expressions and body language first, then tonality, then words. If a girl is being strange, call her out in a socially smooth manner. If she's rude call that out and be willing to walk away.

 

[Kvothe]

She wants to fuck you as fast possible. She just needs to feel that you are sexy and dominant enough while making her feel comfortable to let loose.

Wrong model to view girls as gatekeeping sex bc they don't want it. They do and are rooting for you to show them you're the right person.

And the right person doesn't view the girl as the prize-they're going to be higher value and behave in a way that makes it clear.

Being fun, warm, and sexy all lead to that.

 

[Kvothe]

Lot of AA. Need to focus on following my gut and winner effect spread out across more of my life.

Getting back into the gym, cold showers, building my financial independence, etc.

Instincts don't always lead right, but they do lead true. The man who goes after what he wants more consistently is the man who will more consistently achieve his goals.

Also focusing on oppositing negative self talk: "I hate X" becomes "I love <opposite of X>"

 

[Kvothe]

1 approach today. Good vibes, gorgeous girl.

Need to keep an eye on how her vibe is and how much of a rush she's in. Also had the instinct to move her, but didn't, and had the instinct to high five, but didn't. Have to follow those instincts and trust them.

Was a bit too logical, and I think I could have added some playfulness by making some assumptions in a teasing way.

Onward!

---

https://www.girlschase.com/article/skilled-seducer-month-december-2024-allen-iverson also fire highly recommend everyone read

 

[Social_Artist91]

@Kvothe

This is an amazing journal. Loved reading it. Also the fact that someone who has achieved all these successes still feels AA makes me feel a bit better about myself and my own struggles with AA.

 

[Kvothe]

@Kvothe

This is an amazing journal. Loved reading it. Also the fact that someone who has achieved all these successes still feels AA makes me feel a bit better about myself and my own struggles with AA.

Thank you! I def view this journal as more honest and reflective of my day-to-day compared to FRs I post, so I hope you find that helpful!

I don't know what stage you're at, but this was my journal as an absolute beginner: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/kvothe’s-journal.15673/

And my journal during a really bad plateau: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-postgrad-life.19234/

Together is how I would view my overall arc. You can probably improve a lot faster by just avoiding long breaks.

Thanks again for reading and finding value in this

 

[Kvothe]

1 approach today during day. Then was out with @Skippy until 4AM. No approaches though. Still horrible AA that I'm working through.

 

[Kvothe]

Yesterday's approach was better than previous. Was more decisive, warm, and instinctual.

Today was much more hesitant and nervous. But improved to 3 approaches.

Small steps and getting over the fear.

 

[Kvothe]

I know some people view seduction as an extension of their masculinity, and therefore put pressure on themselves to persist to show dominance and be a man.

I know others that view it as an art form for which there is only one optimal path.

I think for me the best framing around seduction is that it's a game. It's fun, but ultimately not very serious. To improve, like anything else, requires dedication. But viewing LMR as a fun challenge, as opposed to an issue with yourself, and other persistence as part of the interesting aspect of the uniqueness for this specific interaction takes a lot of the pressure off. And while pressure is good for me at focusing down and getting work done, it has historically not been good for me for picking up girls. The best lays have been when I've taken the pressure off, and feel much more like a game, where you keep trying until you succeed, but it also isn't going to affect anything outside of the specific run through if you fail.

 

[Kvothe]

Attempting to integrate the above mentality definitely helped with approaching today. First and last set went well.

Other ones went back to viewing things too seriously. Keep that internal world view in mind.

Other notes: instead of saying "steal you away" if she's got some things with either family/friends, suggest "run away together"-us vs them frame, and frames it as more mutual.

Also, don't ask where a girl is from, or about her accent immediately after open. Feels very cliche, and also doesn't lead too much in a good direction. Maybe better to use it as a tool for making a cold read.

 

[Kvothe]

A goal for the year:

Be courageous to fail while giving 100% of mind, body, and soul

Dealing with Failure: An Important Learning Tool

In "What’s the Difference Between a Lover and a Loser?", Troy asked a question I've been seeing a lot on here lately regarding dealing with failure: “Also chase id love to see an article on how to see failure as not bad, to love the plateau and not let setbacks stop us from pushing the times of...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Kvothe]

A lot of posting all over seems to indicate that mating complexity in society continues to grow rapidly, and that the barrier to entry to becoming a truly successful seducer is becoming higher.

This is both depressing and motivating. Outsized efforts lead to asymmetrically outsized returns.

Additionally more and more fundamentals matter. And skills across various aspects of social and sexual dynamics.

Talking with Hector this weekend and the goal will be to identify the weakest points hampering my ascent to the top, and craft a plan to improve me as fast as possible.

With my health improving rapidly, and an abundance of motivation-this will lead to success.

---

Urgency in action becomes more and more important. There simply isn't time to do things slowly, or to be scared to try new things. Only in 100% effort and willingness to accept the pain of failure can change be found, and that flywheel of positive feedback be started.

Dealing with Failure: An Important Learning Tool

In "What’s the Difference Between a Lover and a Loser?", Troy asked a question I've been seeing a lot on here lately regarding dealing with failure: “Also chase id love to see an article on how to see failure as not bad, to love the plateau and not let setbacks stop us from pushing the times of...

www.girlschase.com

---

I've often been scared that I am not a passionate man. But I am. I am more passionate by far than any normal person, which is why I get so depressed and emotional when I feel that I'm not living up to my potential. If I weren't passionate I wouldn't care.

How to Become a Passionate Man

Commenting on my article about 12 common unsexy nice guy traits, a reader named Colin writes: “Your article stings and hurts [f]or one reason...which is #8 on this list [don't have any interests or passions]. That's me. That's the reason I'm a mid-30s virgin and am too scared to try any...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Kvothe]

Large improvements to be had from taking things less seriously and viewing everything as a game-while still giving 100% and accepting the pain of failure.

The important thing is that while I'm having fun, and emotionally invested in the outcome-that doesn't mean it has any effect on my own self worth.

Also the integration of the various versions of myself into a whole singular person in life.

 

[Kvothe]

2 approaches today.

First one I approached with "excuse me" which I continue to need to cut out. Also didn't have anywhere to take the conversation after opening. Both that and the fact that I feel like I'm demonstrating too much interestedness after opening makes me think I need to add some challenges or take back some interest post opening. Basically get her to start investing ASAP.

Second set was similar, too many compliments too fast, and she started validating in them. Telling me "give me one more compliment then I'll head out". Sometime about that soured me. A good response might have been to wink and tell her she has to earn them first, and that maybe I'll give her more if she's good. Also maybe doing a take back since I opened her on her bubbly vibe that I always get burned by that type of girl because they come across all innocent and sweet but have a secret side you never know is good or bad.

Regardless, issues today are too validating, not enough challenging in the vibe.

 

[Kvothe]

5 approaches yesterday. I ejected out of all of them even for girls who may have been receptive.

Very scared and I'm not sure how to get over.

A part of me has definitely become scared to fail and because of that shies away from experimenting.

Need to make the interactions more playful, but that is a natural fallout of taking sets less seriously.