The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

Still heavy fear, but vibe and overall sexual magnetism are improving. Working to improve conversations, become more comfortable, and simplify my processes.

From Hector, focusing on the following:

1. No cold reads (I'm doing it as a crutch and it's coming across too mechanical)
2. No trying to be witty (try hard)
3. If I don't know what to say, say nothing (build and be comfortable with tension)
4. Say random shit (self amusement + more natural conversation)
5. More natural and expressive facial expressions (warmth, emotional contagion, non-roboticness)

One more pull, which makes my date pull rate quite high, and LMR being the new sticking point. Exciting!

Girls are behaving much more attracted to me off the bat, and so I just need to learn to capitalize on that much better.

Had an instant date opportunity today, but got too nervous to actually suggest it and grabbed the number instead. Very annoyed by that since the girl seemed free, was cute, and had a great ass.

Probably some boyfriend value issues. Date yesterday said my vibe was much more prim and proper than dirty and sexual. Not sure how to fix that stylistically.

 

[Skills]

Still heavy fear, but vibe and overall sexual magnetism are improving. Working to improve conversations, become more comfortable, and simplify my processes.

From Hector, focusing on the following:

1. No cold reads (I'm doing it as a crutch and it's coming across too mechanical)
2. No trying to be witty (try hard)
3. If I don't know what to say, say nothing (build and be comfortable with tension)
4. Say random shit (self amusement + more natural conversation)
5. More natural and expressive facial expressions (warmth, emotional contagion, non-roboticness)

One more pull, which makes my date pull rate quite high, and LMR being the new sticking point. Exciting!

Girls are behaving much more attracted to me off the bat, and so I just need to learn to capitalize on that much better.

Had an instant date opportunity today, but got too nervous to actually suggest it and grabbed the number instead. Very annoyed by that since the girl seemed free, was cute, and had a great ass.

Probably some boyfriend value issues. Date yesterday said my vibe was much more prim and proper than dirty and sexual. Not sure how to fix that stylistically.

That is actually really good advice..... 6.- more subtle touches and subs (like micro escalations)....

 

[Kvothe]

That is actually really good advice..... 6.- more subtle touches and subs (like micro escalations)....

micro escalating kino wise is actually one of the areas I'm more comfortable with, so this one at least is better baseline than the others

what are subs? Sub communications?

 

[Skills]

micro escalating kino wise is actually one of the areas I'm more comfortable with, so this one at least is better baseline than the others

what are subs? Sub communications?

yes subcommunications

 

[Kvothe]

yes subcommunications

Good article on subs

Touch and Subcommunication

As I walked into my favorite nighttime venue this past Friday, I was immediately greeted by a couple of girls whom I had seen out a couple of times previously. I gave the first a big bear hug, picking her up off of the ground for a moment, and then slowly and gently placed her back on to her...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Kvothe]

Did 4 today. Heavy AA. Not sure why AA hits me harder than when I was younger.

Still got to work through it. Face the pain and accept the possible consequences. Only way to conquer anxiety

 

[Kvothe]

Mental strength can only be measured in hardship. If you're only able to maintain your state in good times, then you've never really been tested and that strength is just a facade.

 

[Kvothe]

Great two days with the squad. Y'all know who you are.

Lots of approaches focusing on less and less logic and thinking, and more and more emotional flow. Hit a great state with a girl where she did not speak english or spanish but we communicated purely on vibe with lots of laughter and physical touch.

Two notes:
1. Sexual energy isn't horniness imagine it more as being in the state you are right before sex in the bedroom
2. Triangle gazing-spend more than a polite amount of time looking at her lips then look back up and smile

 

[Kvothe]

Lot of emotional ups and downs. The highs were fantastic and culminated in meeting a really cool girl and fucking her well.

The lows have been awful. But I need to focus on accepting my emotions and working with them. That starts by accepting that I'm feeling them, and then proceeding to switch from victim mentality to problem solving mentality.

So goals are as forward:

1. Accept and feel emotions. Analyze them, learn from them, and process how to change the situation based on the emotions that are being felt.
2. Avoid outcomes. Focus on just enjoying the girls, getting to know them, and enjoying their energy. Just being social. Vibe and the sexuality will arise naturally.

No need for new things to focus on until these are handled.

 

[Kvothe]

An important caveat of law of least effort: in order to become a king you must first spend time as the jester/peasant. Working hard visibly in order to learn how to do it in a low effort seeming way.

 

[Kvothe]

For girls on their way to first dates

Me: Oh that's perfect

Her: Perfect?

Me: It'll give us grabbing drinks a vibe of needing to keep it secret-that's always fun. And if the dates doesn't go well we can pretend he's always away on a business trip and still keep the energy.

Small idea for a fun we frame that's flirty and better than what I did yday.

 

[Kvothe]

Got 1 number off of a day of 10 approaches with 9 blowouts.

The main takeaway from the number is that at some point she says she cares about FIRE, and I ask her why-and she says she just doesn't want to work.

I think I should challenge/tease her a bit here.

Having a hard time thinking of a good us vs them or her chasing tease.

"Uh oh you're not one of those girls who just makes everyone else do all the work in her life right?"

She says something.

"Ok cool-because if we're ever at a bar I expect you to put in the work for us to get free drinks from random dudes "

 

[Kvothe]

Notes from yday coaching with Hector.

Therapy has been helpful and it's good to keep a lot of the stuff we talked with in mind. Now it's time to get back to concrete examples.

Overall seeing improvements in how I move through the world and my views towards external validation. I'm growing and seeing less and less of a purpose to it as it feels like all the things I need to do to get that validation I was seeking I got a long time ago.

Along with that more honesty-both internal and external, and expressing that has been good.

Still working on viewing women as people-still have a hard time with that.

Also some overthinking, need more fun and focusing on that.

Pulled yesterday. Kind of unexpected kind of not. Didn't think I was going to get past the LMR but I did and she was super happy I did too.

 

[Kvothe]

Main learnings from coaching call with Hector today and follow up outing:

• I need to train my empathy muscle as I'm still treating human interaction in a pattern matching as opposed to empathethic way
• My fear is inhibiting my behavior
  • Had a date with this super attractive girl who all but pulled herself to my pad (initiated a make out with me, wasn't wearing a bra, suggested we go back to my place, incredibly compliant), but we didn't fuck because I did not escalate in a self-assured manner
• Hector gave me the assignment of going out tonight and telling one girl I wanted to bring her home
• I warmed up at a few venues with @Devilicious and @Skippy before seeing this girl rolling a cigarette on the street so I opened commenting on that, then immediately transitioned into the line Hector told me to use. She laughed, and seemed to grow incredibly attracted even as she rejected the offer-staying and talking and asking me questions about myself. We move to a new spot and she asks me where I live and how far it is. I think I still pussyfooted a bit here, and that if I hadn't I could have gotten her to come home with me.
• This kind of behavior and result is transformatively impactful. It keeps reminding me that I'm playing way too safe and have so much room to take risks that girls want.
• Date tomorrow and in good spirits-hanging out with all the players in brazil has helped me along with some inner game in progress breakthroughs-not to mention all of Hector's help

 

[Kvothe]

dunno why just feeling a big lack of motivation the last few days

 

[Kvothe]

Think I'm overthinking the low motivation. Pretty sure most of it is just that my yeast infection came back so my junk doesn't feel good or look pretty.

Gonna let that clear up and then I think motivation will come back. Had my T measured after the last two lays and it had skyrocket to crazy levels. Clearly my body likes it when I take risks and be more assertive.

 

[Kvothe]

Dick back to normal, pulled a girl home. She was too inexperienced and maybe I went too playerish, but good to see what I can do again.

 

[Kvothe]

Time for some self recording reviews:

Sunday Run (LAF girl):

• Good tonality on open
• "More appropriate" too wordy
• "If you don't mind me asking" too permission seeking-frame bleeding through
• Her tone is polite, but doesn't seem too interested-need to determine if true
• Too much time spent trying to figure out where I was/mentioning gay district
• Also talking about partying without asking her thoughts on it
• "I feel bad" not bad but show better leadership-"Let's go into the shade"
• Sometimes feels like I'm not responding to what she's saying
• Sitting down while on way to gym-maybe incongruent?

Saturday Actress

• Her "oh my god that's so sweet" what about my open is causing this?
  • Slight supplicative tonality-nervousness?
• "I got a date" start showing disinterest-mainly because her vibe is a bit strange
• Be a little more non-reactive to her laughter
• "If my date doesn't go well" show LOT of disinterest to this statement-it's super insulting, maybe even pull back and don't take the number

LAF Moroccan

• Overall feels good
• Maybe opener is a bit low energy
• "I'll teach you no problem"-I should have been MUCH warmer when she said this, give her a hug

Saturday Model

• Opens warmly, but bores quickly

Do you live Here?

• "Very awkward way of asking" good owning it, but say it more funny ("brain fart")
• Getting her away from the door needs to be smoother, "Let's get out of the doorway real fast so we can actually talk"

 

[Kvothe]

Hector has me focusing on expressivity. Coincidence on the timing of

Secrets to Getting Girls: Emotionally Expressive Approaches​

He told me that there would be a learning curve and a likely drop in receptivity, but that it would pay off long term.

Having seen devilicious I would agree with Hector. So I'm focusing on that-and today was better, fewer excuse mes, but still getting mostly blow outs.

Transition to conversation needs work. Need to be more social. From next week resuming my bachata socials, and then will work to get more social outings.

Sleep, work, side hustle are a lot of things to put effort into and I just don't know how I can currently fit nightgame in. I want to build up to that so will work on it.

There's a part of trying to be expressive when I go up to a super hot girl where I start trying to play it cool, and that ends up being less expressive. But at the same time finding the balance between excited and eager and not being too energetic is a delicate balance.

Today's goal was to avoid saying excuse me, and to be more expressive. Doing a lot of approaches is a monthly goal to get over AA. Still feeling extremely nervous but I'm hoping with more exposure the nervousness will change to more controlled excitement. Was more expressive but is still inconsistent. And a few excuse mes. Will keep working on it.

 

[Kvothe]

An interesting socializing thought I had.

I feel like the people I have the hardest time with talking to (female friends/women I already know) vs those I can easily talk to depends on one big thing

How much I know about what's going on in their life. If I know a good amount, and have connected to it in the past. So a girl who I've opened up to in the past, who has also given me a lot of topics to talk to in the past, is much easier to keep talking to going forward on every future meet.

Girls who I did more superficial activities with and didn't really get to know beyond surface level the first time we met, they seem extremely difficult to talk to on future times.

So the solution seems to be better precedent setting with friendships, and getting some baseline connection going that can improve in future. And that requires both me opening up, and better chatting ability.

Also wondering on some strategy to change precedent, though my best guess seems a decent amount of time between meeting, and then getting to reestablish small talk to expand into topics again.

Just a quick thought I had that seemed important.