- Joined
- Sep 27, 2013
- Messages
- 292
Rob, I think we relearned two key principle last night. Had to type it up immediately to make sure I wouldn't lose it.
A) Any story you tell after the opener must be short and CLEARLY about her or something she could be interested in
I made the same mistake with the toy opener. The content is fine as long as the girl recognizes upfront that it's all leading to a payoff: i.e. discussing her, one of her attributes, or something she *could* be interested in. Dangle the payoff away from her too long and it gets boring. Before she's fully invested in the conversation, this can lead to an urge to do what is most natural - end it, even if she likes you. I think this is more pronounced with a direct approach because a direct opener injects so much excitement into the interaction. Get banal too quickly and suddenly the "vibe" crashes.
I think when you HIT the girl in the face with something like "hey sexy," you are best served diffusing this energy by riding out that wave. E.g. imagine "you're beautiful!" then, "where are you from? Oh, Chicago? I should have known. Beautiful cars and hot women go well together. I bet you've been a terror on those streets ever since you were born- probably causing pile ups and distracting innocent factory workers." I believe that when you're direct, motor-mouthing is more important. When you're indirect, I feel as though you have more leeway to grab for straws because true direct game puts you more "on display" than indirect. To paraphrase Chase in one of his articles (can't remember which), the bolder your approach, the bolder she expects you to be throughout the interaction. That's why law of least effort approaches are most effective, they manage expectations. D
B) Role playing and teasing can salvage an interaction if you make the mistake of losing focus on her. Sexualizing can open her up if she's not in a talkative mood (snaps her the hell out of auto pilot) though you have to be careful not to push her too far over the fence and into an automatic rejection
Sort of self explanatory. See the Chicago example I gave above and remember your viking story. Also, calling out the name of a girl you've just met right before she turns around is another thing that can buy you those crucial few more seconds
I'm interested to see where you agree, where you have a contrasting view, and if you think there's anything to add.
A) Any story you tell after the opener must be short and CLEARLY about her or something she could be interested in
I made the same mistake with the toy opener. The content is fine as long as the girl recognizes upfront that it's all leading to a payoff: i.e. discussing her, one of her attributes, or something she *could* be interested in. Dangle the payoff away from her too long and it gets boring. Before she's fully invested in the conversation, this can lead to an urge to do what is most natural - end it, even if she likes you. I think this is more pronounced with a direct approach because a direct opener injects so much excitement into the interaction. Get banal too quickly and suddenly the "vibe" crashes.
I think when you HIT the girl in the face with something like "hey sexy," you are best served diffusing this energy by riding out that wave. E.g. imagine "you're beautiful!" then, "where are you from? Oh, Chicago? I should have known. Beautiful cars and hot women go well together. I bet you've been a terror on those streets ever since you were born- probably causing pile ups and distracting innocent factory workers." I believe that when you're direct, motor-mouthing is more important. When you're indirect, I feel as though you have more leeway to grab for straws because true direct game puts you more "on display" than indirect. To paraphrase Chase in one of his articles (can't remember which), the bolder your approach, the bolder she expects you to be throughout the interaction. That's why law of least effort approaches are most effective, they manage expectations. D
B) Role playing and teasing can salvage an interaction if you make the mistake of losing focus on her. Sexualizing can open her up if she's not in a talkative mood (snaps her the hell out of auto pilot) though you have to be careful not to push her too far over the fence and into an automatic rejection
Sort of self explanatory. See the Chicago example I gave above and remember your viking story. Also, calling out the name of a girl you've just met right before she turns around is another thing that can buy you those crucial few more seconds
I'm interested to see where you agree, where you have a contrasting view, and if you think there's anything to add.