It's been a while since I posted. I've honestly been lazy with writing FR's but this one was worth getting down as it was my first successful day 2 from a number.
I honestly didn't think it was actually going to happen I figured she'd flake last minute like usual or something unplanned would come up but no it actually came together.
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The Approach
I had gone down to a separate town to do some daygame as I wanted to be anonymous and not be known by anyone (I'm starting to approach girls in my regular city I've already approached before and a lot of kiosks in the mall know my deal (though their supportive lol). I'm not overly worried but it's nice to be anonymous and be more careless with my interactions.
I went to the mall there and then went to the beach after. I think I approached 15 women and all were pretty much go nowhere girls or sets I fucked up or didn't persist enough in. This was the 2nd to last girl I met that day and I was meditating ankle deep in the water on our white sand beaches when this Columbian American girl came strolling past and I had to go catch up to her and see who she was.
I stopped her told her she was adorable and put my arm around her almost immediately. She was instantly hooked and then her mom came about and I waved said "hey mom" and told her I was going to marry her daughter. She smiled and kept walking on not to interrupt us. We chatted for a second and then she said she had to go but I should take her number. I knew it would be better if we had some more rapport and less stranger danger if I knew her better so I told her to tell me one interesting thing about her. She went on to list like 4 different things and I expanded on a couple, made some banter, and took down her number.
The texting was pretty basic and just logistical with a bit of banter and a chase frame, nothing fancy. She was texting me first and investing pretty good.
We set a date up for tonight to get a bite at a local coffee shop downtown. I was going to text her a couple hours before the date for anti flake purposes, but she beat me to the punch (good sign).
The date beginning
We met at a park a couple blocks away from the café where I was reading about the history of some old archaeological fort from long ago. She was all smiles and as we walked towards each other (I much slowly almost not walking at all) and smiling she held her arms out a few feet away to initiate a hug in which I hugged her picked her up and spun her around a bit before putting her down.
We small talked and walked to the café, I put my hand on the small of her back during crucial points of the walk. We got to the café and it turned out they weren't serving food and were about to close. I did a good job staying unfazed and led us to the next best option still open in which I could find a bite of food that actually resembled nutrition.
We walked down to this open area of gourmet "food trailers" with a fairly classy outdoor eating area to sit in. We chose a trailer to buy from and ordered. I knew what I wanted so I ordered first paid for my shit and told her I was going to find us a table while she ordered (thus having a good excuse not to pay for her). She had no qualms about my not paying and came to sit down with a big smile on her face and was eager to converse.
The conversation started semi slow and was me mostly deep diving her. She was very jubilant the whole time and in the breaks of conversation we'd smile at each other and the vibe never got really awkward. She was very receptive and submissive throughout the conversation looking down, laughing to break the tension, and leaning in towards me.
She talked about how she was a rebel in school, hardships moving from Columbia to America, her studies, and where she wants to travel. I feel like I covered a lot of stuff with her including some of her beliefs about life and I qualified her for being more of a free thinker and not taking what society says as truth for face value. Though even though I covered some good topics I don't really feel like I dove all the way down to her core of who she was. Think of it like having a 8 foot pool and jumping in then getting out and jumping in another pool without going far down to the bottom and checking everything out.
I feel like I'm not diving deep enough with my deep dives and getting to know "why exactly" she does the things she does.
Honestly conversation overwhelms me a tad when it's in the moment. I sometimes find it difficult to come up with something to say to continue the convo in a flowing way. I struggle with finding a way to dig deeper into her values, thoughts, and motivations. I think I'm not listening and being entirely present to the moment and am instead thinking of what to say next when she's talking. I don't do this as bad as I used to but I still do it.
All in all need to form a deeper connection.
We talked and ate for about 45 minutes and then went for a walk.
Walk to the Pier
Every date I go on seems to go this route (though this is my first day 2 I've taken girls I met via social circle on dates here). Go to café and then walk down to the pier. It's nice but I feel like it's too repetitive for my nature.
Anyway we walk down I take her hand and she's cool and we talk very casual, light, and random. I'm doing my best to just stay present in the moment and keep the vibe going without being "tryhard". I still have trouble at times thinking of stuff to say without talking about myself and rambling on about something random. I find this useful at times but I think there is a time and place for it.
I get to talking about a song and tell her to look it up on her phone so we can listen to it. So we stop holding hands and she goes to look for it. After she's done she put her phone back and makes no attempt to signal me to hold her hand again. I wasn't fazed.
We kept walking and talking casually. The vibe wasn't bad, it was above average, but it wasn't super vibrant and charged with sexual tension or excitement or anything. I was feeling very somewhat unengaged and not extremely into it just kind of going through the motions unfortunately.
We walk down the pier and stop at a place and talk about life. She brings up some stuff she's interested in, politics and global warming which I don't believe in and don't really want to debate with her. She seems not to mind much and I receive her belief in a non-judgmental way and give my opinion and cut the conversation thread. She then brings up aliens and asks if I believe in them. I thought at first she was talking about just life existing on another planet but after some probing I found that she believes aliens visit our planet on a regular basis and communicate with certain people. I don't really believe this stuff but it's not something that concerns my life much so I take her views and find them intriguing that she believes so heavily in such.
I tease her a bit and some girl walks by and in an effort to amuse myself I yell at her that aliens exist and that there coming to get us. I think the girl I was yelling at was mentally retarded and I felt bad afterwards but no one seemed to pay any mind to it. She thought it was kind of funny but told me afterward she felt like I was judging her. I don't think I was and she may have been mixing up the words but whatever.
She then asked about my religious beliefs and I told her to tell me hers first. She believes in reincarnation and that she's been alive in the past many times before. I felt at this time that this was pretty good investment her telling me her personal beliefs and stuff that she thinks about on a regular basis. There were still moments where one of us would get done talking and the conversation would die a bit and one of us would have to keep rambling about whatever it was. The conversation wasn't flowing effortlessly at all time but hey more to work on!
She decided to sit on the railing while telling me her religious beliefs and I held her hands so she wouldn't fall back into the water. While telling her my beliefs (which I think I should've held back... too much about myself and not enough mystery?) I put my hands on her upper thighs in a seductive manner while looking deep in her eyes. I kept my hands there for a while and she didn't make an attempt to rid them.
I decide after a while we've been stagnant in our locations and decide to move us so we start walking back down toward the park we met at where are cars are. It's been about 1 1/2 to 2 hours into the date at this point. She says she has to pee so we seek out a bathroom. It's late and the only bathrooms accessible is in a uncrowded bar.
Universe tests me in the bar
So we both go to the bathroom and when I come out she's nowhere to be found. I remember her commenting on the unique dart room that is located next to the bathrooms so I check there. She's situated comfortably on the couch and there is a guy playing darts by himself talking to her.
I'm not in the least bit intimidated or fearful of him stealing her (abundance baby) nor do I care much. However he trys his hand on some social ladder climbing.
I walk in slowly and check the room out (it's pretty cool the way it was set up with wallpaper with books on it like it was a bookcase on one side, a baller leather couch chill area with TV and then dart boards on the adjacent wall). He looks a bit surprised at first almost as if I just stumbled upon him hitting on my girl. I show no emotion and am indifferent.
He immediately plays mr. nice guy like he wasn't trying to pick her up and says whats up and extends his hand almost in a way to cover up him hitting on her. I give him my hand (i'm not that big of a dick to deny his handshake I think it's funny afterall) and he starts to talk some shit like he knows me telling me that I look familiar and we know each other. I tell him that I've never seen him in my life (I haven't as far as I'm aware).
I think this ticks him off because he knows that he's losing face (I didn't submit to his frame of us knowing each other so now he feels beat) so he makes a quick play and tries to lower my value by playing it off and trying to tool me (which I didn't see coming). He says "yeah you look familiar like this one gay guy I used to know that dated another guy" or something of the sort.
Overcoming and dealing with guys tooling me has always been a weak point for me since I used to be very insecure and overcompensate accordingly in which people would call me out. I haven't had enough exposure to guys testing me that I still get a bit thrown off when it happens.
My mind went a bit blank as far as coming up with something to comeback with and I unfortunately played by his rules and told him I used to be bisexual but recently got tired of men (implying my date), in a really sarcastic way. I guess I was hoping to accept his frame of my being gay and not letting it faze me (I think I did good body language wise and not getting my panties in a wad).
I wanted to throw the darts he was holding and he gave me one and tried to play a game with me, I turned him down and just wanted to throw one.
After missing the dart board I went over to my date and told her lets bounce. We held hands as we walked out the door and as we left she asked me why I wanted to leave (first of all I had no intent on staying even if that guy wasn't there). Now that I look back I think my answer to this was a pretty crucial point as she was seeing if I was insecure about the guy trying to tool me and my reaction to it. I think I answered her that I didn't want to play darts and hang in a bar (the real answer) but I think that came off as me wanting to escape the guy trying to tool me. I think she took this as me being insecure. In reality I wanted to pull her home and I figured getting things moving back towards the cars was a good idea... and not being around social ladder climbers.
I think my answer came off insecure and she had to think twice about making a potential 9 month investment of my sperm based on my strength of a man. Can't say I blame her lol.
Anyway we get back to our cars and I try and pump the vibe back up a bit to get her in the moment and pull her. This is sort of hail mary at this point as she had already said it's time for her to get home (right after my failed answer of why I wanted to leave the bar... hmmm connection maybe????!!!) so I was trying to get her back invested and wanting to go.
I tried a yes ladder, which I did very awkwardly as I tried to come up with question #2 and #3 that was easy enough for her to say yes to (I had to pause and think after she said yes every time to think of another vague question for her to agree to) lol. This didn't go down well so I qualified her as being a Columbian and her being a good dancer (most Latin American's are) and tried to get her to dance with me in the street. This went down but I suck at dancing, made an awkward step, and she became uncompliant and left me to dance with myself.
I then got her to sit down with me on a bench and tell her about where I live and how we should continue this outing and stroll where I live. She said it sounded nice but made an excuse of having to babysit in the morning. I ignored it and went for a half-assed hard push to get her to come. I succeeded momentarily and got her to say yes and I had both of her hands in mine and was walking her toward my car. She objected again soon and I tried to overcome again a couple times, then explain how life happens when two people say they're going to meet up again and in reality they usually don't. She said we should hang out again and I should text her. I then went for the hard push again but I feel like I did so half assedly and not with full commitment and intention.
Though I will say the vibe was pretty much toasted after the guys attempt to tool me and
my failed answer to her question of why I wanted to leave the bar
All and all I'm just stoked I got a day 2 and now no all I have to do is keep meeting women I'll be able to more consistently get day 2's and I know that their possible.
Aftermath
So I learned that numbers don't mean shit and usually don't go anywhere unless the girl is
really hooked before you get her number. I think the hook point is sooooo fucking important in getting a day 2 which I guess should be obvious and I'm wondering why I never really put 2 and 2 together to realize that.
So I think my biggest overall sticking point is reaching the hook point when meeting women and getting them to hook hard upon getting a number.
I have a lot of little things to continue ironing out like
- -consistent voice fundamentals
-diving deeper in conversation
-building a stonger emotional connection
-unleashing my full personality and getting more crazy and risky in conversation and actions
-talking about myself in a way to impress and bait to impress (not that bad but it happened a couple times I remember)
All and all I know I'm now capable of getting day 2's and I want to continue to work on fundamentals and vibe so I can reach the hook point more consistently.
It's not day 2's that are my problem it's reaching the hook point that is my problem.
I also think that I need to start pushing harder in my interaction to make shit happen and persist past the bullshit. I watched an RSD video talking about that and how many girls guys lose to giving into womens BS excuses and making excuses for yourself.
over and out,
Rob
