The Postgrad Life

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Twas raining really hard today, but I decided to do the 30 day challenge, so I did one approach before heading to the gym.

Was walking to the gym, and saw her look at me before looking away. We were heading the same direction, and there were massive puddles everywhere, so I made a comment about how I wasn't about to try and go through them. She was receptive and we talked while heading the same direction. I think the big issue was that it was too friendly, and too indirect. No sexual intent at all. Got her number, and will try for a date, but she might think it's platonic. Either way, I focused on being more positive and having fun, and the result was there. Next few days seem like there'll be better weather, so should have more approaches.
 

Grand Pooba

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,371
Location
NYC
y___ said:
Twas raining really hard today, but I decided to do the 30 day challenge, so I did one approach before heading to the gym.

Was walking to the gym, and saw her look at me before looking away. We were heading the same direction, and there were massive puddles everywhere, so I made a comment about how I wasn't about to try and go through them. She was receptive and we talked while heading the same direction. I think the big issue was that it was too friendly, and too indirect. No sexual intent at all. Got her number, and will try for a date, but she might think it's platonic. Either way, I focused on being more positive and having fun, and the result was there. Next few days seem like there'll be better weather, so should have more approaches.
A number is a number. Unless she said explicitly that she's giving you her number to be friends and nothing more, treat it like she is attracted to you and that it's not platonic.

Always assume attraction.

Set up a date.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Thanks GP!

So sent her a text and didn’t get a response :/ Ah well. Approached 5 girls over the last few days (low I know). Three of them stopped and talked to me, which I attribute to a change in vibe/more smiling. Got one number today.
So Friday was a bad day, and I realized my vibe was off, so made myself take it more easy and took more pressure off. I found that it made a good difference and made me more outcome independent and more dominant. It felt easier.
This one girl from Barcelona I talked to I think would have been better if I’d cold read that she was Spanish. I knew from her name that she likely was, and I think it would have helped her hook.
Today, opened a girl by telling her she was cute. She had a very surprised look, but stood very close to me. I got her number and I think she’ll come on a date. She called me bold and said something like impressive or props, which felt like I was being talked down to. Didn’t know how to react, but I think the bold part is still positive, and it could be me overthinking.

Things are looking up. My efficiency seems to be improving too :)
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Good things: approached a lot today. I think I had a few good ones, and a lot of room for improvement.

Best girl was this Russian, I opened her, and she said thanks but that she was in a rush. I persisted by saying to wait two seconds, which she did, and then she still started moving, so I told her if she's heading that way, I'd walk with her. It was mostly me talking, and asking questions, and eventually she started asking some back. I think the conversation could have been improved with some cold reading. She had a boyfriend though, so it anyway would have flopped.

Another girl was at an intersection, and I opened her directly, and she said thanks, but skedaddled away really quick. Same with another girl that I did a similar open to. In the future, I should do these kind of "more casual" opens indirect-directly.

Working on my walk and fundamentals. Tried a scarf today and got some positive feedback. Dropped a shit ton on a nice haircut, and styled my facial hair to look cleaner. Fashion sense still needs to be built. Going to the gym pretty frequently. Down 10 pounds since moving. Trying to lose another 2-5 pounds, and then I'm going to start bulking up to 190lbs. Eating is healthy when I eat at home, and alcohol consumption is low. Sex drive has been through the roof the last few days, so hoping to channel that into some solid progress.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Went out at night today for a change of pace. It was really good. Went out with a new buddy who's on GC and met an Indian guy into Pickup who seems pretty good.

So when I go out at night, I generally open indirectly, I've found that it's a lot better, feels more natural, and allows me to display attractiveness in other ways. I still need to work on showing attraction to the girl, but I think I'm doing decently.

First girl was this one who I did as a warm up. Just asked what she was drinking, and got into a little conversation. She kept trying to introduce her friend, who seemed not as into the conversation, so I'm not sure if the friend, or her was interested. The talk died down, and we parted ways.

At the second place, this girl stand next to me, and I just ask her what she recommends as a drink. She suggests a vodka soda, which I bash her about flirtingly, since I'm much more of a sweet tooth guy. We talk a bit, and I find out she's a commercial model, but she wants to have a music career. I think I did a good job deep diving, and being funny, since she was laughing a lot. Also touched her fairly frequently. She said she was going to go grab a drink, and I told her to give me her number in case we lost each other, which I figured was going to happen. And that we should grab drinks. I asked her if she was down, and she said yeah. Got her number. About an hour later, texted her saying, "Hey *****, its y___... Save my number :)". Didn't get a response, but will see if I can set anything up. She was extremely attractive, blond, and tall. Go me :)

Second girl was while we were waiting in line for a club. I asked the group as a whole whether they were at the end of the line or the beginning. Some girl answered, and that seemed to be that. But then this other piqued in asking about us, and I talked to her for like a minute. Found out she was from Portugal, near Lisbon, and told her I traveled there over the summer. Exchanged a few stories about that. They ended up leaving the line, but the Indian guy with us told me that the girl liked me, and that I could have made something happen. I saw her pass by us in the opposite direction and chased after her, calling her name. She stopped, and I told her "Hey, I know this is totally random, but I thought you were really cute. Give me your number, let's grab something this week and meet up". She was like, "okaaay", and gave me her number. While she was typing, I asked her what she did for a living, and she said she was in legal, and that we could "chit-chat" about that later. I said sure, and waved her and her friends off.

Both girls were really attractive to me, so I'm really glad I went out tonight. This is the kind of positive momentum I need right now, so I think going out on weekends to places where meeting girls is easier should definitely be something I regularly do. It definitely will help me in day game just by giving me a different kind of experience. I'm also noticing more looks my way, which I attribute to my losing weight, a new haircut, and some better style decisions. Going to the gym regularly, eating healthy, and overall feeling good right now.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Looking back, I think what I should have done for the first girl was isolate her. When she went to grab her drink, I should have told her to grab it and then come and sit with me. Shouldn’t have let her go away.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Made it a goal to approach 5 girls today, did 0.

I know why I feel so shitty, I know how to fix it, but I don’t. I need to take action, if I continue like this, I’ll grow old knowing that I had a chance to make my life amazing and will regret it forever. I need to become okay with rejection, and to just get the ball rolling and do that first approach, consistently.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Ugh I hate when I get whiney. Partially think it was more hangry...

Hit my goal weight today so going to start bulking, which hopefully should have positive impacts elsewhere since I’m no longer restricting my calories so much.

Two approaches today. Bad is that I could not talk for the life in me. I was tripping over my words, couldn’t think of things to say, and overall it was not a fun experience. On the other hand, both girls talked to me so got some experience there. After the lack of taking any action over the last few days, I’ll take what positives I can.

At my salsa class yesterday I gave that girl I’m crushing on a compliment. We were rotating partners and I got to her, and I just couldn’t help myself telling her how stylish I thought she was (which she is). She seemed taken aback, but flattered. After I couldn’t think of anything to say, but I think if I can improve every day, I might have a shot later on in the class.

Need to start being more social during the day, talking to random people and getting out of my head. Need to practice see diving and everything too.

Flirting I think will come more as I start experiencing more wins.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
So approached two girls today (badly), and one two days ago that was okay, but not too flirty and I didn’t go for the close.

The first girl I approached was in a big crowd so it was hard to stop her and I did it badly and from the side so she just kept walking. She didn’t even let me get past the “hey”. Oof embarrassing. Second girl I tried running around in front but I didn’t leave enough space so she didn’t really stop. Can’t blame either girl, I need to be more authoritative and take more risks. I’m on one hell of a losing streak so I need to start forcing myself to be more bold and risk taking until I start winning again.

Still too much in my head and not having enough fun with it. Working on not being so serious about everything and trying to have more fun with everything I’m doing. One thing is that I feel like I don’t let myself have fun until I know the girl won’t reject me, which lowers the amount of girls I might get by talking because only a few will be happy to talk to me if I’m not bringing the vibe. So need to work on a mental shift there.

It’s a lot harder getting back into things than starting out, but I’ll get there.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Went out Saturday night with my friend who’s been in pick up for a while. He just kept approaching and was persistent and positive the entire time. Lots to learn. I got rejected quite a bit but at least I approached more.

Yesterday walked around for 4 hours and did one approach, and made small comments here and there to other girls.

Trying to get rid of this approach anxiety. Need to stop thinking so much and to stop caring so much.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
An amazing day today. Made a lot of progress.

Went out with a coach, and had the goal of getting rejected 30 times. It felt good to hit a target. Interestingly, as I got more loose and started having more fun, the approaches became lower pressure, and the girls were more friendly and had better reactions. Kept pushing until got rejected.

One asian girl had a solid reaction to me. I kept talking to her, and at one point, I said, "Honestly, I have no idea what to say, but I really want to keep talking to you". She seemed very flattered at that point, but I wasn't very into her, and I left a little after. I think she was disappointed. Other things of note, I got a couple of approach invitations. One of them, I went up to and she took the compliment well, but wasn't down to talk. I think I hesitated, which I'm stopping. Decisiveness was something I heavily worked on today, the spam approaching nature of it made it so. But each approach got me a little out of my head and added some feeling and I stopped caring as much. I'm aiming for this state consistently.

A couple of other girls had pretty solid reactions to me, but they were in a hurry. In the future, I'll try to be more persistent in getting them to stay. As I get more experienced, I'll work to calibrate it to only go after girls who are more interested in me. For now, I don't have that experience, so I'm going to go out and get it.

One thing I'm taking to heart is the fact that everything is up to me. I get to decide whether I'll get good today, next week, or next month. I choose today. I discovered a way to short-circuit my rejection fear by seeking it, which I will use until the approaching for the sake of meeting a girl I think is cute is the reason for the approach. At the same time, after this habit gets built, I want to focus more on calibrating and adjusting to how a girl reacts. Right now, that's a little further down the road, but something I will keep in the back of my head.

Had a halloween party my roommate through. Flirted with most of the girls at the party. Two seemed to like me, but seeing as everyone was a coworker of each other, I felt that making a move was risking getting thrown under the bus. So I just focused on having a good time and enjoying myself.

Got taco bell on the way home. There was an attractive girl waiting for her food. Me and my roommate ordered and he went to use the restroom. She had a suitcase and there was a sword popping out of it, so I opened her situationally through that. We talked for a bit and I deep dove her a little with some banter. Not sure whether sexualness came across, but got her number. Pretty sure it's real, so i'll text her tomorrow and try to schedule something

I feel good. Taking action today has helped and I'll continue tomorrow and the day after. I'm in this for the long haul. If I start getting scared again, I'll try to get rejected until I'm ready to have fun again.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
5 approaches today, and they all went way more smoothly than they have in the past.

I generally open direct, and today was no exception. Three of the girls didn't talk to me, two of them did talk, but one left really fast since she was on her way to a date. But she said that I should do what I'm doing more often, which would imply that she thinks I'm approaching girls in non-creepy way. Second girl talked to me for a bit, but she had just started dating some guy, so she wasn't down. My new mentality is to go for the approach as soon as I consider it, unless I decide that I don't want to. If I don't go for the approach, but I wish that I had, then I'm going to aim to get rejected, short-circuiting my mental programming.

I also had a lot of fun, and I'm feeling good with how I'm looking. Style is getting better, and I'm getting a couple of looks every day, so just need to capitalize on it when it's from a girl I like.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
1 approach today. This one girl stared me down for like three seconds but I didn't open her. She was okay, but next time I'm going to open a girl who gives me that big of an AI. I think it would be good experience.

Had some approach anxiety, so I'm going to have to do my rejection exercises again. Tomorrow I have a family event for a large part of the day so might be a little difficult to do anything, but I'll try.

Texted the girl from Halloween, but no response. Ah well, on to the next one. One thing I'm happy about is that the girls who give me their numbers are the girls I'm most attracted to, so I feel that when genuine attraction comes up, I'll have better success in the future.

I've been doing some thinking on my closing for day game. I need to do better with natural number swapping and trading numbers on a high note, and then continuing the conversation for a bit before leaving. Currently, I get the number right at the end, which is not ideal. I should get the number during banter when emotions are spiked and then continue, since it's not a big deal. I expect that if I implement this change, I'll start getting more responses to texts and start going on some dates.
 

Grand Pooba

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,371
Location
NYC
y___ said:
1 approach today. This one girl stared me down for like three seconds but I didn't open her. She was okay, but next time I'm going to open a girl who gives me that big of an AI. I think it would be good experience.
Always open in this kind of a situation, at this stage in your learning. You can be more selective later, when you have the ability to.

y___ said:
Texted the girl from Halloween, but no response. Ah well, on to the next one. One thing I'm happy about is that the girls who give me their numbers are the girls I'm most attracted to, so I feel that when genuine attraction comes up, I'll have better success in the future.
Did she not respond to your save my number text, or to your date invite? Not every girl will respond to the save my number text... you should follow through after the weekend on Monday 1pm with a simple text - "Hey <name>, how was your weekend? :)"
 

Grand Pooba

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,371
Location
NYC
y___ said:
I've been doing some thinking on my closing for day game. I need to do better with natural number swapping and trading numbers on a high note, and then continuing the conversation for a bit before leaving. Currently, I get the number right at the end, which is not ideal. I should get the number during banter when emotions are spiked and then continue, since it's not a big deal. I expect that if I implement this change, I'll start getting more responses to texts and start going on some dates.
You have the right idea here...
But, you have to have more meaningful conversations first, lol.

y___ said:
One asian girl had a solid reaction to me. I kept talking to her, and at one point, I said, "Honestly, I have no idea what to say, but I really want to keep talking to you". She seemed very flattered at that point, but I wasn't very into her, and I left a little after. I think she was disappointed.
Yes she was definitely disappointed, because you hooked her and she was attracted to you. You should have kept going with her. I'd say you should keep going with these women and try to close; you might feel differently about her later, and either way it will give you practice in stages that you haven't seen much of, as well as confidence that you're getting results. We all want to win the major leagues, but everyone starts in the basic stuff before you can get there...
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
Ah okay, I sent her this yesterday around 11:32AM

Hey J! Hope you’re as ready for the weekend as I am :) You doing anything interesting?
Which I think could have been written better. I figured waiting four days was too long so opted to send a text the day after instead of over the weekend.

Sent first text on Thursday, and second one on Friday.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
So did 5 approaches on Wednesday. They were all much better than before. I was relaxed, having fun, and the girls seemed to notice this and were happier when I talked to them. First girl was from Honduras, but she talked to me for a few seconds before saying she was in a hurry. Should have told her that I was also in a rush, but that we should grab a drink. Next time. Talked to this married Indian girl for a few minutes. Opened indirect direct. She seemed to like me, but I was tripping over my words a lot. Third girl flashed past me. Fourth girl was visiting from Boston for an interview. Had a solid conversation with her. At one point I mentioned that I was shy, but now I was better. And she replied that yeah, and now I was approaching girls in the middle of the street. But she said it with a smile. I should have made it flirty by saying something like, "only blonde girls from Boston". Also for next time. Got her number, and she replied to me saying that she would let me know when she is in the city, if she gets a job. Going to wait until I hear back from her. I did respond to that with a "Sounds like a plan :) When do you think you'll hear back from them". Fifth girl also rushed past me.
Overall good. Now I need to start increasing consistency and becoming more sexual with girls.
On the up and up though, so feeling good.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
So last week I approached 5 girls. Two hooked, and two others were not single, and one girl didn't stop. The positives were that I was relaxed and felt confident with myself. I was smiling and playful, but I need to increase my sexuality more. The first girl asked whether I was practicing talking to strangers, I responded with a negative and that I thought she was cute. I should have gone along with the story (improv 101: yes and...) and then said that she seemed like the perfect choice as I thought she was cute too.
Second girl I talked to for a little longer. She was waiting outside a juice bar and I told her I thought she was cute. She was a little startled because I was with a friend, and he pointed her out to me. I think she saw that LOL. She stood pretty far from me and I calibrated by letting her stay a little farther while I got her more comfortable. I asked her what she was up to and she said she was getting an acai bowl. I teased her for being basic but then qualified myself by saying I liked them too. I asked her what she did, and she said she was a student (I could have cold read that probably). I tell her I'm actually with a friend, but that I like her and that we should grab a coffee, she says yes and I grab her number. She asks what I do and I tell her that I work and just graduated (I think I may have over provided information but she still seemed apprehensive so I wanted to lower some of the tension). I turned it back on her and asked what she studied (creative writing). I asked what her genre was and she said it was dystopian so I made a joke about hunger games, but she said she was more 1984, so I called her sophisticated. I bounce after this. I text her, but didn't get a response.

Regarding the last few days. I've been going out with the intention of meeting girls, but I'm not doing so. I need to hold myself accountable better and be more disciplined. I've been listening to some of the GC podcasts and am trying to focus more. Right now consistency of meeting women should be my only focus. I know that I have the initial conversation at a good point and in most cases where the girl hooks, I feel like I can grab the number. I need to work on making a better, more sexual impression and converting numbers into dates.

Also eating well and exercising. I think my fashion is improving well, and I am liking how I'm looking. My body fat percentage is pretty low too, so I'm trying to add some muscle.

Going to focus on consistency, and approaching 5 girls a day.
 

Eliasmusic

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 5, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Australia
Yo bro! Just read through your last couple of posts! Keep up the good work man. It seems like you're not getting a lot of hooks, just want you to know that that's honestly pretty normal unless you're really on top of your game. Probably varies a fair bit place to place, I'm from Aus, and seriously girls who would be falling over me in a party or social environment where I have social proof are not keen when I approach on the street.

But keep going man, because (obviously it's not ideal) but even if you only get one meaningful interaction/relationship from every 20 approach, you're still making your game so much better, and come party time or any other more natural situation you're going to be set in good stead by your approaches.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
350
Location
New York City
A solid day today. About 10 approaches, and got two numbers. Lots of girls hooked which was something I'm happy about.

First interaction that was good was this girl who had a boyfriend. I think I did well otherwise and was relaxed. Similar thing happened on another girl. Also had some blowouts which I think can be attributed to bad opening strategy and opening at bad times (in a crowd, not dominantly enough).

Was walking down a street and this girl glanced at me, which I took as an approach invitation. I opened her and told her I thought she was cute. We chatted for a bit, and I found out she was on her way to a hair appointment. I asked her for coffee and she asked where I lived, because she is going to be out of town for a while. We'll see where that goes. I think the good thing on that was that I was confident and natural. Got to keep replicating that.

On my way home, I saw this girl wearing shorts, and she had killer legs. I am proud of myself for going after her, because internally I was about to not do so. I ran after her and told her I just had to meet her, and she was very warm. I knew that because she was wearing shorts, that she was probably not looking to talk for long, so I just said I wanted to get to know her better and grab a coffee. She said yeah, and as I was putting her number in she saw my background picture and asked about it. I told her it was a painting in Vienna that I liked to look at because it makes me smile (which I think demonstrated some good qualities). I got her number and bounced, but she seems quite warm. Sent her a text, so hoping she responds.

Did the same thing on a different girl, but when I asked for a coffee she said that she wanted to pass. What this is telling me is that I need to calibrate intro conversations better. If a girl is really busy, then doing a quick number grab makes sense, but otherwise I should strive to make a better connection. In the future, I'll calibrate better to make sure that I don't rely on a fast number grab as a crutch. Forging a connection will probably lead to better leads and more dates.
 
Top