The Postgrad Life

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Been doing a few approaches and they’re hooking better. I’m attributing that to my improved vibe, which a visit from my family has helped boost. Did an indirect-direct approach at the grocery store yesterday and it went pretty decently, I think I should have been warmer, and the conversation was a little boring. But the girl gave me her number so that’s still a win. Working on improving the number of approaches still.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Did two approaches yesterday. First one was bad, second was better but she was on her way to a date. Not sure the best way to handle that. But first girl was bad because it was a warmup and I was rusty, bad vibe, and was not smiling.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Did three approaches yesterday and had good vibe for all of them. First one I was too in my head so it got awkward and she left. Second was this Swedish student from upstate nyc but got her number so we’ll see if I can see her if she visits the city. Last was a girl on the subway. She had a boyfriend but I think my approach was still good and talked to her for a couple of stops.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Did a decent number of approaches over the last few days. Vibe was good, but I need to be more dominant and sexy instead of nice guy. Still the decisiveness is comforting and I think I’ll improve and get my volume up very soon.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Did 4 approaches today and got 3 numbers. First approach was awful, but she was the cutest girl. Still annoyed. She was standing still on the curb and I tried to grab her attention, but she was on her phone. Definitely not enough space between us either. I should have gone behind and once she started moving, then done the approach. Second girl I walked after for a while, but it went well and we talked before I grabbed her number. She’s from California and works as a recruiter at a tech company.. Third girl I did kind of the same thing, but a different compliment. She’s from philly and works in an accounting thing. She was pretty cute, and seemed to like me. She was wearing a ring so I asked if she was single and she said yes. Locked her in onto a wall near me, and realized she wasn’t free for an insta date, so grabbedthe number. Last girl was while I was walking home, saw this cute Asian girl (little bit thicker but I’m trying to lower my standards to date hotter girls). She’s a resident physician from California. What’s interesting was that she was on her way to a date, but seemed hesitant about calling it one. So I told her to give me her number and if it doesn’t work out, then we should grab a coffee. That’s the least likely to work out, but I want to learn how to handle this type of approach, since it’s happened to me fairly often now.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Update from the past few weeks. I was doing a lot of approaches the week before this one, and I headed to Vegas last weekend. I spent a week at home and was not able to game.

In Vegas first night we went to a outdoor club at the Wynn, and I talked to a bunch of girls, but it definitely felt like people were there to dance. In general I stayed on the outskirts and tried to talk to girls. Sucks because one of my friends was single but was not interested in meeting girls. Mostly rejections but had one longer conversation with a girl. She seemed like she was heading out but I talked for a bit. Probably should have touched her more and if I’d led more, it may have gone better. Also there was a different girl in line who seemed to like me, but she was at a VIP table so there was no way for me to meet her.

Next day we went to a pool party. Much more my scene and I flirted with this one Iranian girl. I asked her what she thought I did and she glanced at my butt so I teased her for that. Met a different girl at the bar who was in to me off the bat. Didn’t have to do much but tell her to come in the pool with me and we danced and made out.

One thing I would do differently is open girls on the casino floor. During the day there isn’t as much to do so I should have taken advantage of that more.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
3 approaches today. First one was mainly a warmup, but my positioning during the open was good and the girl stopped. She started walking again mid opener though. Don't think she was interested plus I should probably have been smiling more. Second girl was this asian girl who had a boyfriend. I think I delivered it well, but she started walking away but was smiling and looking back so I started jogging up to walk with her and she said that she had a boyfriend when she noticed what I was about to do. Third girl I was too timid and didn't have much conviction during the approach which is why I don't think it stuck as well.

First day in a few weeks though so I'm treating it as a warmup. Upped the style by buying a tighter, better fitting pair of jeans and also put an order in for a laptop bag so I don't have to carry around an ugly backpack.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
So did 5 approaches today. Was good because I hit the number I was aiming for.

First one went well. I'm focusing on vibe, and making my approaches not seem like a big deal, and to make them more natural. She stopped and I started talking to her. She was getting water then heading home. I said "let's go" and led the way to where she was going, and continued talking. We went inside a Starbucks, and we got some waters. While waiting, I told her that I wanted to grab coffee with her, but she was very, very hesitant, so I changed the subject. Outside the Starbucks, I suggested it again, and she said it was too random, and that she wasn't comfortable. I walked some more with her, and asked her one more time, but she said no again. Ah well. On the bright side, I was persistent, and while my conversation could have been better and more fun, it was still an improvement on my recent approaches.

The other 4 weren't as interesting. I'm still being too timid, but the approaches are feeling like less of a big deal. So I'll continue focusing on that and vibe and then start focusing more on my presence on boldness.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Weekend update:
Went out July 2 by myself for the first time in a long time. On the way to the club, I approached a girl in the subway station. The good part of this approach was that I was the right distance away from her (closer than polite distance). She hooked and we talked for a few minutes. I found out she was a nurse during surgeries, and I asked her if she was down for drinks. She said sure and gave me her number. I think this could have been approved by asking for it on a high point, which I need to improve through better conversation. I think I need to add a little banter, especially at the beginning in order to make it a little more fun/flirty.

At the club itself, I felt very stupid and had so much approach anxiety that I couldn't approach a single girl, even though there were many cute ones who I should have opened. I ended up leaving after an hour.

I went out on Friday with a wingman, and we opened up a few different girls. I had two solid interactions where the girl hooked and had an extended conversation. The first one I was standing on the wall next to the edge of a rooftop, and a girl came next to me (leaving her group of friends) and went to take a picture. I took it as an approach invitation and opened her with "How would you rank this view amongst all your favorite rooftop bars?" I like it because it's simple and fairly innocent. I think I did not seed enough interest though, so the girl eventually ejected back to her friend group. That could have been improved by being more challenging, and bantering a little more to make the vibe more playful. The second girl I talked to was an Indian girl. I talked to her for 15-20 minutes, and got some compliance and investment, but she seemed more interesting in hanging out with her friends. I think again, this would be much more improved if I were to banter more, be more challenging, and sexualize the interaction. I've been feeling too "nice guy" at the moment, and I don't think I'm generating much arousal. Will have to improve that with better eye contact, touch, and adding fun, sexual frames.

Did two approaches today. First one was not bad, and I'm happy with my decisiveness. However, she had a boyfriend, and I was having trouble keeping up the conversation. Also it didn't feel as fun (due to my inability to lead the conversation to fun banter/interesting topics). I think I might be switching to deep diving too early, and should focus more on keeping it lighter at the beginning, busting the girl's balls a little bit, and being a little more of a lovable asshole. Will focus on that this week.

The night game benefited me and refreshed me for my day game approaches. I feel better about having approaches not being as big of a deal. Today, both girls stopped for me, and I was able to trade names, which has been eluding me recently. Most girls were leaving almost directly after my opener previously, so even that mild improvement was welcome.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
310
Location
New York City
Had a date a week and half ago, going to write a FR.

After that, did 1 approach on the subway with a girl who was probably around 19 or 20. She stood next to me in the subway, and I took it as an AI. I asked if she knew when the next train was coming, and she made some additional comment and I started talking. At one point I touched her arm (while on the train), which I think may have creeped her out. She left me at the same station, and told me she was probably too young for me when I asked for her number. I probably should have tried to build more comfort and also made my age more explicit. My beard was decently long, so I looked way older.

Injured my neck, so I've been recovering at home, and had a friend staying with me, so approaches are low right now.
 
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