Episode 9 : How to develop mental toughness
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Mental toughness
WHY IS IMPORTANT?
Life will give you plenty of shit sandwiches and you will need to be tough to face challenges and “NO” periods.
A life dedicated to growth isn’t an easy one, if you are taking the shortcut and the easy road, you will have very little success to show for.
Learning how to deal with challenges and become better at dealing with them will give your more chances to succeed in the long run.
More famous cases are Thomas Edison and his colleagues tested thousands of materials before creating the carbon-filament lightbulb; J. K. Rowling received twelve rejections before the first Harry Potter book was published
Mental toughness will not make you quit when things become hard
What it is?
Mental toughness is a personality trait and is the capability to do your best while in the face of stress and obstacles.
Mental toughness relies on your ability to manage negative emotions like anger, fear, and sadness so they don’t control and lead you away from your results
Mental toughness isn’t something you’re born with, but a state of mind you can cultivate with patience, passion, and hard work.
To be mentally tough, you have to demonstrate courage in the face of adversity even when the outlook is poor.
The 4Cs model of mental toughness was initially proposed by Peter Clough et al (2002)
The mental toughness model comprises four components, the 4C’s:
Control: believe we can make a difference, focus on what you can control
Commitment, (take time and promise you will stick to it, discipline, doing thing when you don’t feel them)
Challenge (enter flow, growth mindset)
and Confidence (believe you can)
How to develop it?
Accepting reality and charging head on
Accept reality and not sugar coating – I might not getting results but if I keep doing the right thing, things might change, even if it’s going to take time.
Observe and adjust your patterns of thinking. Are you thinking too many negative thoughts, such as
I can't do this? Are you thinking unrealistic thoughts, such as
The current situations in society have no impact on me.? Think in a way that is both positive and realistic. If you notice your thought pattern is not balanced (i.e. too many negative or too many positive thoughts), work to adjust it through positive and realistic self-talk.
Have a positive yet realistic mindset. This mindset enables mentally tough people to function at their highest level. It’s rooted in the fact that they accept that: a) the world is unpredictable, b) obstacles, setbacks, and change are a natural part of life, and c) the way to make progress is by confronting these realities head on.
Deal with failure correctly:
Be resilient in the face of setbacks and failure. Mentally tough people recognize that disappointment, mistakes, and failure are natural parts of life, seeing them as opportunities to learn and grow. When you stop seeing failure as a reflection of your adequacy or worth, that’s when you perform better. Failure as an inevitable part of life and valuable feedback that you can learn from
When you make a mistake or fail, immediately acknowledge and dispute any negative thoughts that arise by telling yourself that this is a chance to learn and become better.
How to deal with failure:
First, apply the 10/10/10 test: Ask yourself whether the failure will matter 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years from now.
This will give you a sense of perspective, so the offending event doesn’t consume you.
Have a support network
resist the urge to hole up and isolate yourself after the failure or setback. Instead, reach out to a friend who you know will make you feel better by distracting you or making you laugh.)