- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 172
This website has helped me quite a bit in dealing with drama and I just want to point out a few things I have done mainly because of learning from this website and what has gone in my mental stability...This is my second relationship and first serious one. Also the first one where I have applied a lot of the things from girlschase.
1.) No longer scared of drama. I view it as the woman cares. I am also no longer afraid to start it myself if I need to (I used to be scared to because of afraid of loss and I like to keep the status quo...)
2.) I no longer lose sleep over drama but usually I solve a problem before I go to bed anyway. And I look at it more as a challenge to fix something rather then "problem". Hard to explain this one. I set a frame early on in my current LTR to find the problem, talk about it, and solve it immediately if it can be solved. But I don't rush to fix the situation. I will usually wait till her or me are calm.
3.) Every time drama happens I think to myself that it is not my fault or her fault - instead I stop and communicate and try to think rationally what the problem is. Almost 95% of the time I feel the problem is usually just a misunderstanding...
4.) When it is my fault (either due to me being insecure about something, angry about something, or me just being a straight asshole and hurting feelings) I apologize immediately for it. And then I usually will thank my girlfriend and appreciate her for bringing it up and openly communicating the issue.
5.) When it is her fault I usually forgive after she sincerely apologizes. If she hasn't sincerely apologized yet and continues to use passive-aggressive attempts to push me to think I'm wrong I hold my ground. If she leaves she leaves oh well. (and usually this is never gonna happen with a really long emotionally invested relationship unless its something deal breaking like cheating, I used to think of every problem as a chain reaction to a break up because of my past history).
6.) After drama I tend to be more humorous and get us laughing about how silly we're. But after a problem is solved its solved. No more reason to bring it up again. Time to move on and getting the relationship progressing again.
1.) No longer scared of drama. I view it as the woman cares. I am also no longer afraid to start it myself if I need to (I used to be scared to because of afraid of loss and I like to keep the status quo...)
2.) I no longer lose sleep over drama but usually I solve a problem before I go to bed anyway. And I look at it more as a challenge to fix something rather then "problem". Hard to explain this one. I set a frame early on in my current LTR to find the problem, talk about it, and solve it immediately if it can be solved. But I don't rush to fix the situation. I will usually wait till her or me are calm.
3.) Every time drama happens I think to myself that it is not my fault or her fault - instead I stop and communicate and try to think rationally what the problem is. Almost 95% of the time I feel the problem is usually just a misunderstanding...
4.) When it is my fault (either due to me being insecure about something, angry about something, or me just being a straight asshole and hurting feelings) I apologize immediately for it. And then I usually will thank my girlfriend and appreciate her for bringing it up and openly communicating the issue.
5.) When it is her fault I usually forgive after she sincerely apologizes. If she hasn't sincerely apologized yet and continues to use passive-aggressive attempts to push me to think I'm wrong I hold my ground. If she leaves she leaves oh well. (and usually this is never gonna happen with a really long emotionally invested relationship unless its something deal breaking like cheating, I used to think of every problem as a chain reaction to a break up because of my past history).
6.) After drama I tend to be more humorous and get us laughing about how silly we're. But after a problem is solved its solved. No more reason to bring it up again. Time to move on and getting the relationship progressing again.
