- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,453
Ah, all right. I think I see it now.
Due to all the material you've consumed -- and I'm sure you probably do have near-encyclopedic knowledge of game at this point -- you feel like book-learning-wise you should be fairly advanced with girls already.
You're going up to the point where you're not really putting your ego on the line: you can approach, flirt, get some rejections, but no big deal, that's part of the game, you've fully internalized that part from all your copious reading... proceeding beyond that though I bet is crossing the threshold into "now it gets real." Suddenly you will be deeper into an interaction with a real woman. The guide wires aren't as strong there, things start branching off into new and unexpected directions, and you need to rely increasingly on experiential learning, not just book learning, but you lack that experience.
It sounds like you're turning off right at the point where you'd need to make the leap into fumbling your way through a lot more experiential learning where the studying you've done loses some of its usefulness. Part of that could be the fear of really putting yourself out there... but another part of it is almost certainly this identity you've constructed for yourself in your head of "I am not a beginner."
All your studies probably will help you progress faster once you are actually applying yourself fully.
Until then it's purely theoretical knowledge though.
Many highly skilled seducers have near encyclopedic knowledge of game. I know all kinds of obscure things from all sorts of obscure seducers... so does @Teevster. Many guys do. But this is learned concomitant with going out, and stuff being studied is tested and applied, to take it out of the theoretical and into the experiential.
This identity you have of "I am not really a beginner" is blocking you from entering into situations where (I suspect you know) you are going to start fumbling, badly sometimes, and making goofy beginner mistakes.
Doing all those things that make you feel more like a jalopy than a Ferrari, in other words.
See this article:
www.girlschase.com
Book-learning-wise, you may well have tons of game knowledge filed away and ready to deploy in the right situations.
Experience-wise, you are right at the start line, and are going to need to spend a while stumbling through the experiential part of things, getting frustrated at yourself for making silly mistakes, beating yourself up a bit wondering how you could've done that, thinking you should have known better -- didn't you read about that a hundred times? And you still did it anyway? Gah!
Here's a thing to chew on: you've got the ambition and dedication to plunge into all the study you have. You may be a Ferrari one day.
But you're not a Ferrari yet. Right now you're just a clunky old Honda Civic with some racing decals on the side.
If you want to actually upgrade yourself to being the Ferrari, there's only one way:
Push past this barrier you're running into with girls, suffer through the beginner slump where you make a bunch of dumb mistakes deeper into the interaction and lose girls you should've gotten a hundred different ways, until the game starts slowing down and your experience begins catching up with your book learning.
Chase
Due to all the material you've consumed -- and I'm sure you probably do have near-encyclopedic knowledge of game at this point -- you feel like book-learning-wise you should be fairly advanced with girls already.
You're going up to the point where you're not really putting your ego on the line: you can approach, flirt, get some rejections, but no big deal, that's part of the game, you've fully internalized that part from all your copious reading... proceeding beyond that though I bet is crossing the threshold into "now it gets real." Suddenly you will be deeper into an interaction with a real woman. The guide wires aren't as strong there, things start branching off into new and unexpected directions, and you need to rely increasingly on experiential learning, not just book learning, but you lack that experience.
It sounds like you're turning off right at the point where you'd need to make the leap into fumbling your way through a lot more experiential learning where the studying you've done loses some of its usefulness. Part of that could be the fear of really putting yourself out there... but another part of it is almost certainly this identity you've constructed for yourself in your head of "I am not a beginner."
All your studies probably will help you progress faster once you are actually applying yourself fully.
Until then it's purely theoretical knowledge though.
Many highly skilled seducers have near encyclopedic knowledge of game. I know all kinds of obscure things from all sorts of obscure seducers... so does @Teevster. Many guys do. But this is learned concomitant with going out, and stuff being studied is tested and applied, to take it out of the theoretical and into the experiential.
This identity you have of "I am not really a beginner" is blocking you from entering into situations where (I suspect you know) you are going to start fumbling, badly sometimes, and making goofy beginner mistakes.
Doing all those things that make you feel more like a jalopy than a Ferrari, in other words.
See this article:
Don't Let a "Successful Identity" Stand in Your Way with Women
Are you such a success you now find yourself hesitant to approach? If you want to meet more women, you’ll have to shed that ‘Big Deal’ image. Something happens to a lot of men once they reach a certain point with girls. They realize they are, without question, pretty good. When you hit this...
www.girlschase.com
Book-learning-wise, you may well have tons of game knowledge filed away and ready to deploy in the right situations.
Experience-wise, you are right at the start line, and are going to need to spend a while stumbling through the experiential part of things, getting frustrated at yourself for making silly mistakes, beating yourself up a bit wondering how you could've done that, thinking you should have known better -- didn't you read about that a hundred times? And you still did it anyway? Gah!
Here's a thing to chew on: you've got the ambition and dedication to plunge into all the study you have. You may be a Ferrari one day.
But you're not a Ferrari yet. Right now you're just a clunky old Honda Civic with some racing decals on the side.
If you want to actually upgrade yourself to being the Ferrari, there's only one way:
Push past this barrier you're running into with girls, suffer through the beginner slump where you make a bunch of dumb mistakes deeper into the interaction and lose girls you should've gotten a hundred different ways, until the game starts slowing down and your experience begins catching up with your book learning.
Chase
