To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for years?

sneaky_charm

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So guys, hope you've been doing well!

Many of you may know me because I tend to be active on the forums sometimes. I haven't posted in a while, though.

The thing is, for the past 3 or 4 years, I have been making progress in all areas of my life, but at a snail's pace.

The biggest problem is taking action. I understand that, I really do.

But, at the same time, I want to know from you guys did you feel the same way at some point? If that, what did you do to change it? I mean many people stay in the same place for decades and suddenly something happens and they become a different person. How do you reach that point?

I realize that I'm looking for an easy fix, and in a way, trying to justify my laziness. As if looking for some magic! But, at the same time, I've read enough books to understand that self-image is a very real thing.

Chase, I know you said in one article that you were in the same place for years, and then your life started to change. So what did you do? Did you do anything, or it just happened?

Have any of you changed your self-image and suddenly witnessed life changing in positive ways? If that, how did you reach that point? It's like something is literally holding me back from within from becoming all that I can become.

PLEASE HELP. I WILL TRULY APPRECIATE IT. HONESTLY.
 

Hector Papi Castillo

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

The quote in your signature and the content of your post are terribly contradictory.

Until you've fucked a few dozen women and been in at least one relationship, I don't really think you should be dabbling in "self-image" questions. Having read a few books on it doesn't mean anything. Shit, I don't think most people should even try tackling the question of "self-image" without reading a few books on philosophy and religion either. That's because you haven't learned how to ask the right questions.

You want help? Figure out what you want first. I saw no coherent question in this thread- just one big 'ol lament of "I need help; help me!" Help you with what, man? You can't read your way into success with women; it doesn't work that way.

But here, we'll test whether or not you're ready for theory. Here's one of the most brilliant treatises on women I've ever read. You ready?

"A man who loves women is loved by women." That's from Zan Perrion. If reading that doesn't give you at least 10 ways you could improve with women, you're not ready for theory.

Hector
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Hi Hector!

Thanks for being honest and not beating around the bush. Well, my question is - those of you who were stuck in a point for a long haul but things suddenly started looking up, what did you do that made it happen?
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

The quote in your signature and the content of your post are terribly contradictory.

I agree. I tend to live inside my head a lot. At the same time, I am the only person I know personally who lives live on my own terms, fully. I won't go into specifics, but when 6 billion people are walking in one direction and you decide to walk in the opposite, I guess that requires a bit of courage. A bit stupidity, too. There are many forms of improvements in life, not just women. But, I do agree a lot with what you said.


Until you've fucked a few dozen women and been in at least one relationship, I don't really think you should be dabbling in "self-image" questions. Having read a few books on it doesn't mean anything. Shit, I don't think most people should even try tackling the question of "self-image" without reading a few books on philosophy and religion either. That's because you haven't learned how to ask the right questions.

I apologize if the question offended you. Yeah I know lots of people need help here. But, I guess I haven't bitched a lot. Probably asked only about 2 or 3 questions in this topic. Also, I never disagree with mentors or disrespect their views. I test them, and if I don't, I never question.

You want help? Figure out what you want first. I saw no coherent question in this thread- just one big 'ol lament of "I need help; help me!" Help you with what, man? You can't read your way into success with women; it doesn't work that way.

As I said, I want to know what specific change (if any) made things happen for other guys?

"A man who loves women is loved by women." That's from Zan Perrion. If reading that doesn't give you at least 10 ways you could improve with women, you're not ready for theory.

Women love me when I'm being myself. But those who know me personally love me far more than others. I get looks everywhere I go, no kidding. But, I am a bitch so most of the time I don't approach.

Most of what you said is true, and I won't argue. I know I'm not living from the core of my being, and that's what everything is all about. But what's the harm in trying to understand others tactics to make improvement faster!
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Alright guys, I know the answers. Also, I know that everything I need to become great is already contained within this site.

The reason I made this thread is because I am really curious to know the story of Chase, and of others. Chase mentioned that for many years his life was the same, and from one point it began to improve. I don't remember where. I want to know similar stories from everyone else, too. I'm curious.

Hope this clears up any confusion.
 

Wick

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Its kind of funny that three different people posted similar topics at the same time (you, troy and myself).

That just goes to show you are not alone. This journey is difficult for everyone. When I'm doubting myself, I always remember a story Hector shared about him breaking down and crying in a stairwell. He's human and you are too. We all have struggles.

Personally I'm realizing I take life WAY too seriously. I hold on to fear and anxiety as if I bear the burden of the entire world. In life decisions I always contemplate whether its good for humanity and the planet. I forget that I'm not alone.

I got to remember to have fun and enjoy the process. I have to embrace rejection and let go of perfectionism. Its not just about taking more action, but how you go about it.

Be relentless, be a learner, be a risk taker.

Remember you're not alone. Those 6 billion people are struggling too.
 

Mr.Rob

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

What do you want out of life? What kind of life would you be most excited about if you had?

You can either push hard to make that happen and be really fulfilled and excited about your accomplishment when you achieve that life. Or you can go on vacation to "someday" island where you can vacation with the rest of the world that compromised pursuing an awesome life and live in regret and bitterness for not getting what you want out of life.

Just out of curiosity, you say that you're lazy. What activities do you engage in when you're not building an awesome life for yourself? What activities constitute your laziness?

I have 4 minutes of theory for you to watch that is the last theory you will need until you get a handle on getting out of your rut.

Start the video at 11:30 and watch until 14:30 Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEJ60vA2EQc
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Hey J Wick,

Its kind of funny that three different people posted similar topics at the same time (you, troy and myself).

Yeah, a bit!

That just goes to show you are not alone. This journey is difficult for everyone. When I'm doubting myself, I always remember a story Hector shared about him breaking down and crying in a stairwell. He's human and you are too. We all have struggles.

We all have our own struggles, very true indeed.

Personally I'm realizing I take life WAY too seriously. I hold on to fear and anxiety as if I bear the burden of the entire world. In life decisions I always contemplate whether its good for humanity and the planet. I forget that I'm not alone.

I believe I'm a lot like you. Have thought about taking everything seriously many times to be honest. And, a lot of what I do seems like driven by fear, even though that may not be apparent when not looked deeply.

I got to remember to have fun and enjoy the process. I have to embrace rejection and let go of perfectionism. Its not just about taking more action, but how you go about it.

Perfectionism is one thing that holds me back a lot, too.


Be relentless, be a learner, be a risk taker.
I try! Can't always do the first one though.

Remember you're not alone. Those 6 billion people are struggling too.
Yeah I guess.

Thank you so much! :)
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Hi Rob,

What do you want out of life? What kind of life would you be most excited about if you had?

You can either push hard to make that happen and be really fulfilled and excited about your accomplishment when you achieve that life. Or you can go on vacation to "someday" island where you can vacation with the rest of the world that compromised pursuing an awesome life and live in regret and bitterness for not getting what you want out of life.

I believe I have a very clear understanding of what I want out of life. But, the problem is taking action. It is the biggest problem that drives success away in this universe, so can't say I'm alone. About 'someday' island, it's like I don't want things badly enough, as Hector has talked about many many times.

Just out of curiosity, you say that you're lazy. What activities do you engage in when you're not building an awesome life for yourself? What activities constitute your laziness?

Reading is the primary thing. My work consists of writing website content, so I have to read a lot for the sake of work. Other than that I love reading self-help articles and blogs. Plus, I go through news from time to time. Also, I read everything from FB posts to quotes. On an average day, I'd say I spend about 8 hours reading. But, most of it is useless reading. Also, most things are not applied immediately, so reading actually ends up wasting my time instead of helping me. Other than that, I watch YouTube pranks and videos. But can't say they waste time. They make me laugh and relax, so that is good.

Also, I think a lot. I truly believe that different people are different. I'm a thinker. While most of my thoughts are useless, I am pretty sure that I'm in the present state of consciousness only because of my thinking habit. My wisdom, whatever little I have, only is because I think a lot. So it is both bad and good.

I have 4 minutes of theory for you to watch that is the last theory you will need until you get a handle on getting out of your rut.

Start the video at 11:30 and watch until 14:30 Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEJ60vA2EQc

Haven't watched it yet, but will do tomorrow during the day!

Thank you for the response! :)
 

Mr.Rob

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

sneaky_charm said:
About 'someday' island, it's like I don't want things badly enough, as Hector has talked about many many times.

I've certainly experienced it to, once for a stint in 2015. I don't know if this would work for you or not but when I see people my age that have cool shit going on in their lives I get pissed off because I know I can get that too. So then I go get that thing. Same with pickup. I read Girlschase and thought "Man if this red headed depressed social outcast can go out and get a dating life in the top 1% of men in the world then certainly I can too! I'm in the same boat except I'm brunette!" I mean that in no means of offense towards Chase but that was the exact thought I had. So I went out and did that. I still have a ways to go but I would say I've experienced a modicum of success with women thus far.

Discipline is a big part of this as well. It sounds like you lack discipline.

sneaky_charm said:
I'm a thinker. While most of my thoughts are useless, I am pretty sure that I'm in the present state of consciousness only because of my thinking habit. My wisdom, whatever little I have, only is because I think a lot.

This made me cringe so I'm not going to comment other than it sounds like an excuse to not be an action taker.

sneaky_charm said:
Haven't watched it yet, but will do tomorrow during the day!

Cool the message is a bit brutal and I by no means condone his recommendation at the end. But try to understand the point he's making. You're going to be on the earth for a definite period of time. Don't waste your one beautiful existence!
 

trashKENNUT

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

The problem with being stuck is the same thing that happens when you are more younger or you are a women. This is why men laugh at women everytime they cut their hair after a breakup to feel 'liberated' or she wear some leopard coloured g string to make herself 'fierce'.

There's a term by Freud. Happens more with women than men.

Anyway, to not veered from the actual topic, i highly suggest preparing for what you want to be. This is not easy. It's a phenomenon. I dont know what this is. It is like you in a sticking point or in a rut or a cycle of simlar thoughts, and suddenly you off to the next stage.

Often, we are not prepared for the next stage. So yea, they say just keep drilling. I say one should stop, know what he is doing, and start again doing what he wants.

"You cannot choose something until you are aware of what you are choosing".

Zac
 

ProblemSolving

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

sneaky_charm said:
Reading is the primary thing. My work consists of writing website content, so I have to read a lot for the sake of work. Other than that I love reading self-help articles and blogs. Plus, I go through news from time to time. Also, I read everything from FB posts to quotes. On an average day, I'd say I spend about 8 hours reading. But, most of it is useless reading. Also, most things are not applied immediately, so reading actually ends up wasting my time instead of helping me. Other than that, I watch YouTube pranks and videos. But can't say they waste time. They make me laugh and relax, so that is good.

The first question was gonna ask you was, what does your daily routine look like? This explains your stagnation. The next question is, how many girls have you approached this week? I'm going to guess not very many.

From what you describe, I see no opportunities to meet chicks, so you have a few choices to make. You can set aside some time in your day to leave the house to meet girls. This will require a significant amount of time and motivation to pull off.

Alternatively, you can move to a location with high population density, so you have many opportunities to meet girls just going about your daily routine.

You even have the option of hitting on chicks from home if you create a pimping online profile.

Right now your results suck because, like you said, you're not taking enough action, so choose the path that makes taking action the easiest for you.
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

This thread is turning into something else than what I had originally intended. I didn't mean it as a bitching thread, just wanted to know your stories, but I guess it IS a bitching thread.

Anyway, from now on I'll document how many approaches I do every week here, so that there is the pressure to be accountable. If I lag behind drastically, you all can call me 'Pussy' in unison! :D

Well, don't be too harsh, though. I'm in India, and a conservative town. Not many great venues here, and people do tend to recognize my face if I frequent a place a lot, which is kind of a problem. Perhaps because of the way I look, walk and dress. But can't change that, because I look, walk and dress exactly the way I want to be perceived as, and think reflects who I am.

Anyway, if you have stories, please make sure to add. If not, I know what my sticking points are, so this thread is not about that. I guess I titled it the wrong way.

PROBLEMS

1. Not going out during the right time
: Here, I find girls are most found during the day, between 12 and 4. I have the habit of going out after 4.30. I'll need to break that habit.

2. Not pushing enough
: I usually back down. I talk to a girl for a while, and anxiety creeps in and I say 'Bye' or 'Have a nice day'. I should really work on engaging a girl till she decides to leave me, or give me a date or number.

3. Not approaching quality girls
: Girls who are really attractive intimidate me, which is very ironic because I know in my mind and from experience that it is the cutest girls who give me the most signals, probably because I look a bit cuter than most people here (but not compared to the rest of the world, mind you). I guess I mostly approach girls who think 'Why the hell is he approaching ME?'. Need to fix that.

4. Not documenting things
: I do not document my approaches, calls and texts well. So, will have to fix that, as well.

5. Not eating right and working out
: I look like a 16 year old trapped in a 22 year old body, ectomorph. Make food myself, and Indian foods do consume a lot of time to prepare. Eating right and doing push ups keep me in okay shape I have found. Will need to do this seriously. This is the hardest part, cause I've been skinny all my life.

So anyway, from now on I'll document my approaches. Just be easy on me guys, most girls have had only 2 or 3 partners in their lives. They do not go to clubs, don't party, and are not too westernized mentally. Also, your provider value seems to big a very big deal here. Never heard of some doctor dating a waitress or some lawyer going out with a security guard, if you know what I mean. I respect every job equally, but apparently the world thinks otherwise.

I have thought about moving, even did a year ago, but returned. This place seems like a perfect fit for one reason. There is another side to the coin. Thing is, many girls from neighboring states live here and they are unlike Indians. They are western in pretty much every way. They date, watch Hollywood, live with bfs and have loads of sex. They look like Chinese and Korean girls, Can't go somewhere else when all the real stunners are here!
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Okay, so started my journal, here's the link:
viewtopic.php?f=15&t=12736

Noted the approaches I did today. Should be able to go out 3 or 4 days a week, for 4 to 5 hours each time. Will need to be consistent from now on! :)
 

Wick

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Mr.Rob said:
What do you want out of life? What kind of life would you be most excited about if you had?

You can either push hard to make that happen and be really fulfilled and excited about your accomplishment when you achieve that life. Or you can go on vacation to "someday" island where you can vacation with the rest of the world that compromised pursuing an awesome life and live in regret and bitterness for not getting what you want out of life.

Mr. Rob,

This advice really resonated with me. I went out yesterday and utterly refused to go to "vacation Island." If I didn't need to go home, I explored. If I was tired I rested in an area with opportunity. If I felt disheartened, I just took it one step at a time.

I ended up having an adventurous day and chatted up a few girls. Also got blessed by Jesus preachers. Then capped off the night with an instadate with a cutie and she wants to see me again.

Point being is I can see how just staying where the opportunity is, makes a big difference. Going home and resting or studying is bad for a journey that requires taking actions on opportunities.
 

Lotus

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

I know part of the lack of taking action comes from a fear of failure. I had the same issue when I was in sales last year and Drexel's video on fear really helped me, maybe it will help you guys as well.

Looks like he took the stuff off his website but it's still on his YouTube channel

Drexel Scott
"Free your mind from fear and doubt"

Also, being immobilized by that stuck comes from not being fully present in the moment. If you can be fully present and not think about the consequences the fear will disapate.

-Lotus
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Hey Zac, hope you've been doing well!

Anyway, to not veered from the actual topic, i highly suggest preparing for what you want to be. This is not easy. It's a phenomenon. I dont know what this is. It is like you in a sticking point or in a rut or a cycle of simlar thoughts, and suddenly you off to the next stage.

By 'preparing for what you want to be', what do you mean exactly?

Hi ProblemSolving,
The first question was gonna ask you was, what does your daily routine look like? This explains your stagnation. The next question is, how many girls have you approached this week? I'm going to guess not very many.

From what you describe, I see no opportunities to meet chicks, so you have a few choices to make. You can set aside some time in your day to leave the house to meet girls. This will require a significant amount of time and motivation to pull off.

Alternatively, you can move to a location with high population density, so you have many opportunities to meet girls just going about your daily routine.

You even have the option of hitting on chicks from home if you create a pimping online profile.

I am terrible at sticking to a routine, actually. You're definitely right!

Well, it's just that most chicks are with at least one other chick. Also, the streets are pretty thin, so in many places people standing uselessly can hear what I say. This is not good, as some people may want to pick fight for no reason and tell others that I'm harassing the girls if a girl responds badly (very unlikely, but not impossible).

Population is about a million, so that's not a problem. It's just that I tend to get noticed a lot everywhere I go, and people kinda remember me it seems. Thank you for responding!

Hi Lotus,

I know part of the lack of taking action comes from a fear of failure. I had the same issue when I was in sales last year and Drexel's video on fear really helped me, maybe it will help you guys as well.

Looks like he took the stuff off his website but it's still on his YouTube channel

Drexel Scott
"Free your mind from fear and doubt"

Also, being immobilized by that stuck comes from not being fully present in the moment. If you can be fully present and not think about the consequences the fear will disapate.

Will watch the video, and you're very right about the presence thing. I've not done many approaches in a while, so it seems that I struggle with even talking slower and holding eye contact, also with voice. Thanks for the reply!
 

trashKENNUT

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

sc,

sneaky_charm said:
By 'preparing for what you want to be', what do you mean exactly?

Right now, you keep moving in cycles right? So let's stop for a moment. What is it that you want right now....? IF you can't answer that, then let's ask ourselves, where are we right now? Given an example of now: Right now you are reading my post. You are not aware you are reading my post. So let's stop. Why am i here? What am i doing?

To aid this post, thie guy is brilliant at awareness. I highly recommend him for everyone. There is some parts on other topics that one has to check for his oneself but here's the video to aid your problem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pS_wPeDxDQ (Forget about 'Enlightenment' - Satsang with Mooji)

- This video tells you about you 'NEEDING' to do something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j-yx52yKTU (Mooji ♥ Answers ◦ Where Am I Stuck?)

- This is just extra

Zac
 

sneaky_charm

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Re: To Chase (specifically) and others: I feel like I'm in the same place for ye

Hi Chase!

Thank you so much for the piece! :)

The point about writing goals and checklists and never looking at them afterward really resonates with me. Personally, I find that my day goes well when I wake up early, have bath early, and eat early, and then read Brian Tracy's book before starting any work. Regarding goals, perhaps I set too high standards, instead of making small increments.

Right now my goal is to get 6 numbers a week, or 2 per day, but I'm lagging behind. My biggest sticky point is ejecting too early due to anxiety and negative thoughts. Making approaches more routinely than ever, though, gonna add another day to the journal now! :)
 
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