Topcat's 4 approaches for 30 days journal

MrRapo

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Feb 1, 2015
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Europe
Girl 3:
I see a blonde girl approaching to left. I stop her before she passes me.

Tell her she is very cute. She thanks me. I introduce myself and she does so aswell. She has an accent (sounds Germans). I ask her what she is up to and she says she is on her way home. And then like a complete dunce I eject and tell her to take care! She is clarely shocked by this as it made no sense for me to do.

Retard, retard, retard. I slap myself for this one and press on.

Why did you eject so soon?
 

topcat

Modern Human
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Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
^awesome man
Idk about other dudes, but the first 2 weeks i was gaming i did over 50 approaches a week. 4 approaches in a day to me doesn't sound like alot. I would do atleast 10.

I've been thinking this myself. Would get so much more experience far quicker, my only issue is time. I think when I do get freer days I'll make an effort to do 10 or more approaches. Right now I can do 4 in under an hour and get back to my other projects. On an easier day 10 is definitely feasible. Approached 7 today with good results - write up coming shortly.

Remember this, because it is a fact: You will get mindtwisted. These women will drive you insane. You will feel pain when you get 10 numbers in a day and they all either goes ghost straight off the bat or dies down. All this pain will slowly kill the beta inside you and you will grow more indifferent and outcome independent. You will take things as they come and not get knocked over one way or the other. You will learn that NO woman is worth driving yourself insane over. Only pain will grow tough skin over this. Every day i care less and less when women goes ghost or flakes. I just think "Eh means i have more time to read/work out/approach fresh girls". That's literally how i feel these days. If i go out and approach 30-40 women in a weekend and get 10 numbers and only get 1-2 dates i think "Awesome, means i can do some more reading and some more lifting".

Bro, can't tell you enough how much I appreciate the wisdom. If we ever run into each other I owe you a couple drinks.
 
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topcat

Modern Human
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Dec 20, 2012
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699
Met up with @pickup243 in the city to do some joint gaming. Overall a good day. 7 approaches, 2 numbers, and now with experience I've learnt to override my instinct to eject early and stay with an approach.

Day 6 -

Girl 1:

Quick warm up approach. See a blonde girl walk past me. I follow her, tap her on the elbow, and let her know I think she is cute. She thanks me and I attempt to make conversation, but I can see her pulling away so I let her go.

Girl 2:
This one is hilarious...

Latina looking cutie passing on the far side of the street. I run across, tap her on the elbow and let her know that I think she is very cute. She thanks me, and asks me if I have instagram (what luck! I think to myself. The bitch hath closed herself). I tell her no unfortunately I'm one of the weirdos that doesn't use it. I can take her number though. There's some light banter, she asks me where I'm from, and I ask her the same. More light banter. I ask for her number, she declines saying she doesn't give it to strangers. But asks for my phone anyway, saying she wants to type something in it. I'm amused and curious to see where this goes. Also on my toes and ready as I half expect her to run off with my phone. Anyway, she's typing in notes but says I can't see until she is up the road. Ok.. I get my phone back and lo and behold.. she typed her onlyfans address into my phone! AHAHA good for her, but I aint the one. Do wonder if she needs a manager though.. hmmm.

Girl 3:
See a girl in a pretty leopard print skirt. I like this one so I make the approach...

Run up beside her and tell her I like her dress. She thanks me. Scottish accent, so I ask to confirm. She confirms. I get her name and she tells me. Take her hand and introduce myself. Ask her what she's up to and she says just out for a stroll. I'm surprised because she's wearing big pendant ear rings and is dressed like she's going to a funky banquet. I tell her this. And then ask her where she works. A fashion store. Now it makes sense. We talk about fashion and I find out she is passionate about it and makes clothes. Get her to show me her work on her phone. I am genuinely passionate about fashion myself so we connect on this. She asks me what I'm up to for the day, I let her know I'll be meeting friends for drinks later. She show s me the clothes she's made on her phone, I compliment her on them and then suggest we grab drinks. She agrees and I take her number. We part ways.

I had an instinct to eject from this one as I did in the past but I ignored this voice and am glad I did.

Girl 4:

Approach a cute blonde on the main road. She's pleased by my opener but wont take my hand due to covid, I offer my elbow and wish her well.

Girl 5:

Cute punk looking girl. I compliment her and she thanks me. Accent. I think Hungarian. She says Spanish. From Barcelona. Ask her why she moved to London. She says she's in a rush. So I suggest drinks and she agrees enthusiastically. I take her number and let her go.

Closing is getting easier..

Girl 6:

A very cute blonde passes me. I run up and deliver my opener. She thanks me. Puts on her Covid mask, and enters a store.

Girl 7:

Sexy well dressed Latina with fat ass. Run up and tap her elbow. She's very startled. I give her a few seconds to recover. I'm laughing and apologising. Deliver my opener. She says thank you as though she's slightly annoyed and walks off.


All in all a good day. 2 numbers. I'm sticking with approaches longer, and approaching automatically. "Rejections" don't really phase me now either. A few more days of this and then I think I will start practicing tech. May also spend a day or two out of each week doing more approaches, up to 10 say, as suggested by @Peterdk234. Seems to give me greater results once momentum kicks in.
 
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topcat

Modern Human
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Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Also..

Sent a text to girl from yesterday to set up a date. No response. Yet.

Icebreakers sent to Leopard Print Girl and Punk Girl. Leopard Girl responded positively and hoped I had fun with my friends. No response from Punk Girl. Yet.

Will aim to set up dates with the both of them tomorrow...
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Today was full of duds. 4 approaches. 4 "I have a boyfriends". I wasn't in a social mood today, I suspect this was evident in my approaches. My fundamentals also were not the best, but I made the approaches nonetheless.

Day 7 -

Girl 1:


Saw a girl rolling a cigarette. Approached her as she stopped by a wall. Told her she was gorgeous. Tells me she has a boyfriend. I brush it off amd ask her how her day is going. She insists that she is about to call him so I'd better go. I wish her well.

Girl 2:

See a pretty blonde up ahead. I say excuse me to get her attention and she moves out of the way and apologises, thinking she is blocking my path. She walks away. I say excuse me again and deliver my opener. She says she has a boyfriend. I let her go.

Girl 3:

I make an approach for another cute girl up ahead. I compliment her, she says thank you, puts on her covid mask and enters a store.

Girl 4:

She a cute brunette with tattoos. Tap her on the elbow and deliver my compliment. She says thank you. Introduce myself. She says her heart is taken & walks off


Overall underwhelming session. Just need to keep approaching.

Very busy day tomorrow. Will try to squeeze approaches in, but if I can't will pick up where I left off on Saturday. Till next time..
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Alright, back in the swing of things, took the day off yesterday as I had a full schedule..

Day 8 -

Girl 1:


See a gorgeous blonde approaching to my right. I appear not to notice her until she is at my shoulder and then I say excuse me. She jumpscares. So I wait a few seconds for her to calm down while I chuckle and show her I mean no harm. Then I tell her she is gorgeous. We stare into eachother's eyes and I notice that they are a striking yellow. Can't help but compliment her on those too. This girl is an absolute 10 if we're going by that scale. definitely the hottest I've approached so far. Anyway, she thanks me and we exchange names. She's super friendly and confident. She has a unique name so I mention this. Then ask her what she is up to. The conversation is weak. I'm not warmed up. So where I would usually eject, I tell her we should go for drinks. She states she has a boyfriend. I tell her that's ok and then raise my finger to my lips. Shhh he doesn't need to know. She laughs out loud and says sorry she can't. I wish her well.

Next step is to master conversation tech. I can open, I'm now closing without a problem. I just need to master conversation and then polish. Plus tighten my fundamentals.

I've also noticed that hotter girls receive me more warmly, are far friendlier and welcome conversation more. Also let you down easier. I feel with a vibe improvement, I may be able to turn some of these..


Girl 2:

See another well dressed cutie. Very pretty face, and killer outfit. She's wearing a puffer vest even though it's 24 degrees celcius out. Odd, but perfect material to banter about. Get up beside her and compliment her. She says thank you, appears shy or guarded can't put my finger on it. Then as I ask her about her bomber and the heat, she claims she only speaks French. I'm unphased and proceed to ask her what she is up to for the day. She points to the French school up ahead and says school. I let her go.

She looked mature for her age, but given it is a French High School, she was definitely underage. Woops.

Girl 3:

See a tall, slim brunette walking in the park. I let her pass and think up a compliment to give her. She has an elegant walk. I approach to her right. I put out my hand and am about to get her attention, when she jumps and yells. I laugh it off. She's extremely flighty. I calm her down as much as I can and deliver my compliment. Russian girl. She says thank you, but that she has a boyfriend. I continue to ask her about her day, but she is still so flighty and cautious so I let her go. Funny, she's near six foot tall and me a mere 5'6, I'm not that much of a threat. Strange.

I am getting alot more "I have a boyfriends" all of a sudden. I'm wondering if this is a mere artifact of volume, or if it's due to a vibe change, or something being off. I didn't hear any of these in my first few days of approaching. Thoughts guys?

Girl 4:

Cute girl, nice figure in gym attire. Walks past me and stops at the light. I walk up to the light as well, but make sure to look as though I don't notice her. As we cross, I tap her on the elbow and tell her that she is cute, she thanks me, then continues into a coffee shop.

This was a weak approach but I know what I could have done better. I should have introduced myself immediately after the compliment. I figure when a compliment is given to a woman but left at that, she feels a degree of social pressure and is waiting for the man to lead, to give some context to his opener (make his intentions known). By introducing yourself you confirm that you are interested in talking and moving things along. If not, you just create awkward tension that she breaks by getting out of there.

Girl 5:

4 approaches done, I'm on my way home when I see a slim, large-breasted blonde girl. I stop her before she passes me and compliment her. She thanks me. Then I ask her what she is up to. A rapper is running a popup shop down the road, and she is checking it out. So we get into a conversation about that. Some more chit chat, then I say we should get drinks. She agrees, I give her my phone. She puts in her number, or so I think. We talk more on what she does. She's studying illustration, so I light up at this as I also have an arts background. She also doesn't live far from myself. I tell her I'll text her and let her go.

Go to find her number in my phone, but can't remember her name. Download an app to trace recent contacts. Her number doesn't come up. So I'm guessing she didn't actually type her number in my phone. O well...

My approaches and vibe need alot of work but I know I'll figure these out with enough experience. It was the same with dates and bouncing girls home, which I figured out with enough volume and experience. Soon...
 
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topcat

Modern Human
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Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Today's focus was improving the conversation in the middle of my interactions. I'm opening, I'm closing. The middle bits need work now. Focus is on eliciting values, and motivations, and on light playful banter. Got a little bit of that in today, but still needs work.

Day 9 -

Girl 1:


See a cute blonde. Catch up behind her and to the left. Lightly tap her elbow and she shouts don't touch me. Ok then..

Girl 2:

See a cute brunette. On a quieter street this time. Run up beside her and get her attention. Tell her I think she is cute. She thanks me. We exchange names, and then she says she is in a rush to get to work. I let her go.

Girl 3:

Another cute brunette. Get up on her right side, compliment her and introduce myself. Offer my hand (she's opening a pack of lozenges while i do this). She ignores my hand. I wish her a good day and let her go.

Girl 4:

See a stunning brunette off in the distance. She's planted as if waiting for somebody. I approach, and tell her she is gorgeous. Giving her eye contact and her likewise, she is very confident. Ask her what she is up to and she says waiting for a friend. Ask what they plan to do and she says she doesn't know. I give a witty response that I can't remember now. She then asks me what I'm doing and I say meeting a friend for drinks also. I cold read and suggest she is a designer. She laughs and says no. She is a commercial and hip hop dancer. We talk about this for a bit. I'm lost for conversation so I say I need to get going and suggest we grab a drink. She laughs, but I say nothing and just stare into her eyes. She says ok and something about getting to know me better. I put my number in her phone and then ring myself. We chat a little more, and then I bid her farewell.

I need to do better when it comes to qualifying and eliciting values from girls I approach. This one actually mentioned needing to get to know me better which suggests I'm leaving girls feeling unqualified and disconnected. If I patch this up I may end up with less flaky numbers. Perhaps??

Girl 5:

Seated on a bench beside a friend. It's a long platform made from reclaimed wood. There's a cute girl sat 3 metres away on the same bench. After 10 minutes of chit chat I tell my friend I'm going to approach. I walk over to her tell her she's cute and we exchange names. Ask what she's up to, and as she tells me I sit down beside her. She's waiting for friends. I ask her what she does and she mentions working in HR, try eliciting her feelings about this job but she is genuinely dispassionate, so I look off into the distance and pause thinking of something to say. She draws me back in asking me what I do. I have her guess and she says she can't. I tell her to take a risk and try, but if she says "bin-man" (garbage man for the Americans) I'm leaving. She laughs and says "oh no no". She says she can't figure it out so I tell her anyway. Go on to talk about her job and what she likes about it. Doesn't like it. Ask what she's passionate about. She doesn't know. So I ask her what she does for fun, what she finds enjoyment in. She says before Covid going to gigs but now she doesn't have much to do (poor soul). I agree that covid has thrown a wrench in everybody's plans. Then we talk about her music tastes. She's preening her hair heavily as we talk. I cut the convo short and tell her I must get going, then say we should grab a drink. She says she has a boyfriend, and says she really means it, she can show me a picture. I laugh and say that's cool, do you have room for two boyfriends? She laughs and says no. I say fine, how about one and a half boyfriends. She laughs again and declines. I'm just having fun with her really. Then I wish her well, and get my friend. As we leave I wave her bye and she does likewise.

Conversation and banter improving here. I'm an introvert and am realizing that it takes several approaches for me to loosen up socially. 4 approaches and I'm just about getting into the flow of things. Where an extrovert might be socially primed from approach 1 or 2.


Girl 6:


Gorgeous tall brunette. i get up beside her and compliment her outfit. She thanks me. I offer my hand. She declines due to covid, so I give her and elbow, laugh, and wish her well.


6 approaches, 2 longer interactions and 1 number. Slow improvements. Will continue to focus on conversation, qualification and banter over the coming days. Will probably focus on sexy nonverbals and vibe following this. Tomorrow...
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Sent Icebreaker text to Sexy Dancer. No response. Will try to set up date tomorrow.

Update from previous numbers:

1st girl, declined date, due to being busy.
No response from Leopard Girl or Punk Girl.
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Today was an off day. Was not feeling social at all but I pushed anyway. Overall I can see where I'm going wrong in conversation. It's time to be more deliberate in my approaches - I need to make an effort to chase frame and also qualify girls. This will require study and I will also try to commit as many unique chase frames as I can to paper, so that I can come up with them easily while in an interaction.

Day 10 -

Girl 1:


Walking through a park when in my peripherals I see a blonde walking towards the path from the grass to my right. I get the feeling she is checking me out from behind, so I slow my pace to allow her to get beside me. She reaches me and slows her pace. When she gets in front of me she looks at me and smiles. I smile back. Green light! I tell her she is cute, and she thanks me. I ask her what she is up to and she says she's on her way home. I ask her if she is a designer, and she says no she works in advertising. Then asks me what I do. I ask her to guess. She says she can't (I use the same "bin man" line I used yesterday). I tell her what I do and she continues to ask me questions about that. I should've flipped it here and tried to elicit values and motivations from her here, but my mind was blank. She appeared shy to me and my mind kept screaming that she didn't want to chat and that I should let her go. I subsequently let her go.

It really takes me 4 approaches to get into a social state. In this interaction I felt too much like an interviewer and subsequently exited as I couldn't see a way through. Should've tried to close at least. A chase frame would've been useful at the start. Where she told me she was in the park just chilling alone and was on her way home, a cheeky "and seducing handsome young men no doubt" would've been suitable.
Also deep diving on the nature of her work and her love for it would've been helpful too.
Next time..


Girl 2:


See a blonde walking towards me on the street. I stop her before she passes and tell her that she is cute and I couldn't let her walk by me without telling her that. She is surprised and thanks me. I ask her what she is up to and she says on her way to meet friends. I let her go.

Girl 3:

See a brunette walking along the road. I get up beside her and tell her she is cute. She says thank you that's cute and the interaction ends there.

Girl 4:

See a girl in a cute outfit. I stop her and tell her. She thanks me. I ask her what she is up to and she says she is off home to get some work done. I let her go. She thanks me several times and wishes me well while she crosses the street.


Not the best of days. Was not in a social mood at all, but I pushed anyway. Next will focus on Chase frames and deep diving.
 

topcat

Modern Human
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Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Sent Sexy Dancer a text to set up date:

"Hey Sexy Dancer hope you've managed to enjoy this sun as much as I have ;)

what's you schedule looking like for a drink this week?"

No response. Yet.
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
10 Day Tally

Approaches: 46/120
Numbers: 4
Dates: 0
Lays: 0
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
Standard day approaching. Noticed myself considering better ways to approach today, and also being more targeted with my approaches. This will be my last day of blind "approaching" where the goal is simply to make 4 approaches without setting goals or specific skills to hone. I've done a review of the general cold approach process, by reading articles and will pick a specific thing to master over a decided number of approaches.

First will be mastering the genuine direct opener - thinking of something specific to the girl that she had to work on or put effort into, and complimenting that (as opposed to saying "you're cute" as I have been); and pre-opening.

Then I will put effort into rapport building using @Bacchus Golden Question & his method of "Solving a Mystery" and "Going on an Adventure" as outlined here. This should kill the interviewy vibe of my past approaches.

From here I will wrap closing back into my process to see if it doesn't improve the ratio of warm numbers I receive.

From there I will likely focus on flirting to increase arousal, and experiment with situational openers and reality pacing.


Day 11 -

Girl 1:


See a girl walking towards me. I get her attention as she passes to my right. I deliver my opener but she doesn't hear me. Takes out her earbud and says "1 metre distance covid. Ok what did you say?" I tell her I think she is cute and she beams. She thanks me and then says "you too, you look amazing". I thank her and wish her well.

Girl 2:

Hottie in the park. I say: Hello, excuse me, You're very cute. She says: Sorry?. I repeat: You're very cute. She thanks me and continues walking

Girl 3:

Cute girl walking towards me. I stop her as she passes and tell her she is cute. She thanks me and is awkward, but I continue. Ask her what she is up to, and find out she is from Berlin. I spend the rest of the interaction waffling, as she isn't giving me much. She is giving me weird looks but honestly I'm just trying to get my social muscles warmed up so I'm unphased. After maybe 40 seconds of one sided conversation I let her go

Girl 4:

See a very well dressed older woman on the curb. I tell her I love her outfit. She thanks me, ask her what she is up to and she is polite but clearly doesn't want to talk. I wish her well.


Time to focus on tech. Will make an effort tomorrow to get some studying in and commit a gameplan to memory/do some visualizations, before I head out in the evening.
 
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