TWC Journal

[TheWiseFool]

Winter practice Day 1 and Day 2

Dec 27
I did not go to the mall today. Mom and dad were working so I stayed home.

Dec 28
Arrival: 12:04pm
Rules:
1. Must approach a girl every 30 minutes
2. 10 minute break in between each approach to right up report
3. I can't leave a store until I approach a girl (preventing the social butterfly effect, except instead of women it's stores...)


12:24 Macy's: group of 3: 2 girls: hot girl and chubby and one short, chubby guy: either shopping friend or boyfriend. I was sifting through clothes and they were popping where I was and I was walking away to test and see if they were following me... I didn't quite know how to steal glances without coming off actually checking them out. However, as I'm writing this, I need to give a little to get something back. I know that getting caught checking a girl out first is a no no here but i need to test this... There was a moment when i was in the changing room, the three walked in and the guy asked one of them to get him a different size of pants... I left a little earlier to the same area i was before to drop off my shirt, which was too big. I hear someone behind me but I don't turn around and keep my cool. Return my shirt, turn and remain aloof while using my periphs and I see that the girl returning the pants is the one I want to approach. Unfortunately I let the moment pass and she was alone...
I walk away... and here I am writing this...
op she just popped by a pair of pants by me brb...
and I said fuck it just go.

Walked straight up and...
Me: "excuse me"
Her: "Oh I don't work here..."
Me: "Oh..." I don't know what to say... so... "Are you single?"
Her: "Married."
Me: "How old are you?"
Her: "70." ignoring me and in auto pilot (which I didnt know at the time...) At that point I was like okay so I just kindly bowed out
Me: "Oh alright, have a good day." polite smile then walked away.

I had about 3 minutes before 12:30 so I am glad that I didn't fail the timer. I should have called her out on her bullshit rather than acting like a pussy.... that was not romantic at all. She had this deer in the headlights look... certainly in auto pilot. I gave up too soon. I also didn't pre-open...

Could have done something like, "Do you always talk lie when someone asks you questions?" It was pretty fucking obvious she was lying... I should have laughed or played along... fucking hell, get it together man. She is just a girl... you even saw as soon as you opened that she had makeup all up on her face... unnatural and a turnoff... each approach should be performed as if it were your last one. Success leaves clues and most guys say the last one is usually their best.

This was my one and only approach for today. For future reference, stop here if you wish to save time that could he spent somewhere else before you die. Rest of this entry will be all ORs

12:31-1:00pm Approached no one cos I was trying out clothes at banana republic. Bought a $75 sweater for $29.39, WHAT WHAT POST-CHRISTMAS SAVINGS!!!
1:01-1:55pm no one. It's been an hour. I need to follow these rules much more strictly.
2:35pm trapped in Nordstrom!!! I will say that in this period, there was a girl from high school who passed by. She was one of the popular girls you were never really attracted to but a lot of the guys in your grade were attracted to. I find that that is a special trait about yourself, you are much more attracted to the girl on the inside because you grew up in a place where people are all nice on the outside but so rude and selfish and snobby on the inside. The benefit is that when you do move from here, your experiences with people will just go upwards. You understand a cutthroat society and the importance of being a good communicator and people person. However, such a folly that could befall you is a lack of empathy in pursuit of displaying dominance. I suggest exerting a bit of vulnerability. I noticed very much so today that women are intimidated by you... it's not what you want but it is expected... don't get all hotty and prideful, I am just indicating an observation.
3:13pm nothing at the north face except beautiful athletic girls.
3:35pm complimented on my jacket by a girl who came over to tell me behind the register. the other cashier girl was cute and I could tell I made her nervous, but i didn't do anything again...
4:08 after sitting down to eat I got my head focused and am just gonna go through each step of my process. I will move practice one step until mastery, before moving on to the next one.

In addition, I was walking on the second floor along the side of the railings. This girl's mom started moving to the side so her daughter would be on a practical collision course with me and she was dressed really nice and didn't look bad. I let nerves get to me cos I was like, "WTF MOM!?! WHAT A BOSS!!!" Unfortunately, I let such a perfect moment go. If anything my confidence is soaring, but confidence doesn't make a great seducer, it's only part of the equation. GGGRRR!!! I mean really!!! She was primming her hair and looking everywhere but me! I was so happy with jus that that I began to smile to myself and looked away. Understand that that girl just felt rejection by you... everytime a girl goes out of her way to show you that she is interested you get in there and give her something to let her know that she is worth having someone to make her feel good. Don't go all white knightey on me but be a man man! Stop being that little boy who gets all excited when all these cute little girls are waving hello or hi. *Sigh* You'll always be that little kid on the inside. I love it and hate it.

that's how it's been today... I approached this girl 30 minutes upon entering the mall, but that was the only one. One more than yesterday, but still! *Sigh* blocks Eric, blocks. When you set out to build a wall, you build it brick by brick, not all in one moment. So set out to build your wall. Put down one brick at a time, as best as a brick can be laid, and one day... one day... you'll have your wall.

Tomorrow is Sunday so the mall is open for only 9 hours!
6:30am wakeup, brush teeth, quarter bottle of water, pieces of banana, trainers, stretch, lift, breakfast, shower, change, mall from 10 to 5pm. You can do it, you can do it! You can do it! Don't just say it and avoid it! Attack your goals with strength and fervor! With a spirit of fire that will never be quenched! Do something epic ahha!!! Believe it. Fake it until you make it. NLP! Most of all, have fun with it All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy or make work play and play work.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Dec 29
Didn't approach anyone after hours at the mall again.

Dec 30
Approached two girls and was instantly shutdown. All walls were up so I backed out.

Dec 31
Another day of no approaching. I spent about 2-3 hours at the mall this time. I see myself falling into this every other day approaching deal. I need to fix this. Getting a little frustrated at myself and but I am beginning to internalize the idea of not being outcome dependent, having "fun" with it/learning experience (changing perspective), and the abundance mentality. I just find it so funny how nervous I can be or how the mind comes up with excuses in the moment for one to not approach. I was watching this one girl walking in the same direction as me, she was about 10-15 away from me on the other side of the mall. I was just looking at her cos she had a great body and seemingly pretty face from the side. While walking she noticed that a piece of paper fell and she went to pick it up and put it in the trash. When she went down and picked it up, I looked away and was sort of smiling assuming she was scanning for a trash can. I was hoping she didn't notice me. There is a trash can by her, but she is walking in my direction and I am freaking out thinking she's gonna stop me. I didn't notice though that there was a trash can right by me and she happened to arrive at it just as I was next to it so she saw me and I was still holding my cheeky grin. Instead of hurriedly walking away as she was doing prior, she slowed down so that she was practically next to me walking at my slow speed (I was just enjoying walking around in the mall since I love to people watch). If this wasn't the best opportunity or some approach invitation, I don't know. I still need to "test" her and see if this was for real and as most of you know, if you don't act fast, you lose. So... yea. She took one last look at me, went to Starbucks and I went into Northface cos I was scared. I should have gone... I didn't and it is my fault. I think the worst part was that I was walking around telling myself, you will never meet these people again. I don't think I've seen the same person twice. Sure I've seen familiar faces here and there but not the same face TWICE!

Jan 1
Was going to go around 6, but I'm just going to go to the movies now. I can see myself falling into a sort of pattern so I need to break it. At the movie theater, I'll try to make something happen...

"Tomorrow, says the dream. Today, says reality."
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Everything happens for a reason

I'm glad I opted for going to the movies yesterday. My post may sound crazy or weird but that's fine. Anyways, whenever I am in a slump or beginning to fall into one, I am always rescued by something. I always have something watching my back and it leaves me in a great state of thanksgiving and feeling blessed, humility, and asking, "Why, why, why me? What have I done to deserve this kindness? I'm not worth it, there are people who need this more!"

I believe everything happens for a reason. We choose how to live our lives, but it is just one cog in the machine of intricate parts and pieces. We may think we are in control just as we may think women are in control when we are with them, but we are unaware to the overall plan that has been set out for us. Does that make sense? Can you see the pattern? Everything happens for a reason, find the meaning, enjoy the bad times as much as you enjoy the good times because it all happens for a reason.

The movie I saw with my brother was the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Without ruining the movie, I interpreted the movie was a God sent message, at this time, to indicate that I need to stop daydreaming and staring at that which I want and go out and get it! To take the risks and leaps of faith because you never know what adventures lie ahead on the path of the bold and the brave. When I came to this realization in the movie, my mind was flooded with so much serotonin, there was a connecting of more and more patterns than usual and it was beautiful! Life became filled with so much meaning and I was just in a state of "WOW!" I can't even describe it, but I wanted to share it wih my one friend cos she is so ridiculously similar to me it's crazy haha. I thought the movie was great, although I think a lot of movies are great simply because I tend to get engrossed in the emotions of characters and the moment of the story (I love stories). So today when I go out, I'll be thinking about Walter and my resume of life. I don't have a ton of exciting shtuff but I remember that all the crazy actions and things I've said have always ended up making me much more wiser and more savvy in my interactions in life.

Lastly, I decided to watch this Youtube video and it just so happened to be focused on the concept of time. I will post a quote here to remind not only myself but others of the importance of time and taking action to make our dreams come true.

"Who here has met a poor person who values time? Who here has ever met a rich or successful person who doesn't value time? If you noticed, all successful people value time. And all the not so successful people out there, don't necessarily have that same view on time. . . God didn't give you friends. God gave you time, and you use that time and invest it into people and that's how you got your friendship. God didn't give you money. He gave you hours and you took those hours, went to a man with money and said, 'Hey, I'll give you my hours if you give me your money.' See time is the gift that God gave you so you could exchange it for all His other gifts. See all of the things that we don't have are the things we're unwilling to exchange our time for."

Two things that dealt with time and action. Just wow. Things I think about a lot but, it meant much more to me, just as Bible verses meant so much more to me when I decided to come back to the Lord.

Lastly, I want to stress the importance of breaks. We need breaks. Rest is very important. It gives us time to rejuvenate ourselves and also time to think and analyze and FORGET things that we don't need. When we come back, our minds are blown away. They remember some things but they are much more different now, more profound, with much more meaning, more life! Rest is something that is very important in the Bible, something that I forget to do in my quest to live everyday to the fullest. And yet, God has dedicated a day to rest (Sunday). In Him, we can find peace and relaxation, an island away from the world, comfort, freedom. When was the last time you took time to rest? To set yourself apart and stop worrying or thinking and just "float" in this island, this bubble, this shell? Just lay there and be a part of existence?

Today is a beautiful day, just as yesterday was and the day before and the days to come. Life is beautiful and we should think it as such and really feel it in our bones and flesh.
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Not letting a moment pass by

EDIT: this happened around early September 2013. I realized I miss-titled one of the journal entries for this one and I wanted to make sure I had them altogether in one place that I could look back on someday haha. Looking back on it, I am pretty damn happy with myself and at the same time disappointed on how things panned out. It was prior to finding this site so I have to say... luck was on my side as usual, that and good genes... but that's another story. END EDIT

I went to my old college to visit my frat last weekend and one of the nights, I was out in the courtyard of the apartment complex, just outside one of my frat's suites, where all the people come together to chat and take in the sight of loud music, people roaming around, etc. I started a conversation with this girl and her two friends for fun, nothing serious at first. Light banter for some time, her friends go off but the girl I initiated with stayed talking to me. I assumed that she was unaware and notified her about their departure, which prompted her to look back, then look at me, assess the situation, then leave. Obviously I fucked up here. I thought she was really cute, let her go and made a mental note of it.

In the morning and throughout most of the day, when the alcohol had worn off, my logical brain is beating itself up again for letting her go (I do this often when I'm talking to women... why? I don't know... politeness?) Anyways, I wanted my "Redo", my "retry", the second chance that most of us don't get, especially since I was visiting, which meant seeing her would be even more rare.

Night time comes, I find myself in the courtyard again, talking to a friend of mine on one of the benches, when I see the girl. This time around, I told myself, "Look dude, you gotta at least tell this girl what's up." So I ran up, stopped her, placed both hands on each of her shoulders, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Out of all the girls I've seen here tonight, I think you are by far the most beautiful." And I walked away. That was it. Went back to the bench, sat down and was pleased with myself that I didn't make a regretful decision or decided not to tell/state my interests.

Later in the night, I was chilling on the second floor balcony chilling with some of my brothers, people watching as I often enjoy doing. Out of my peripherals I see the girl walking by eyeing me up. I turn around, stop her, motion her a spot right next to me as my one friend gets out of the way to let me talk to her. We get into some light banter but then I deep dive. I am totally having fun and not taking things seriously because the last thing I thought possible for myself was intimacy with this cute brunette, who was taller than me, had a cute face, and had a slender frame. In retrospect, I realized I could have closed without doing any light banter or deep diving but I didn't know how to say, "Let's get out of here and go to your place," without saying, "Let's get out of here and go to your place." In addition, I realize that she was giving me indications that she wanted me to move the process along (fidgeting a bit, becoming a bit restless), but I didn't understand those as wanting to move forward, but me not leading the conversation properly. After about 10 minutes of chatting, her friend came along and I said hello, the girl said, "I'm going to sleep", her friend said I should walk her home. At that moment, I was like, "Is this happening right now?" by this, I meant taking a girl to bed. As I said before, I had no intention of getting intimate with her because I thought she was out of my league and I'm still a virgin (*gasp*). I comply and we head off to wherever she lives.

This is where I need feedback from the community here because I've gotten to these "pull" points only a few times, I always back out cos of nerves.

We are walking back and I tell her to lead us to wherever her hall is as I don't know. My question here is, "Should we have gone walking aimlessly and she would say, 'O, my dorm is this way?" or did I make the right decision in giving her the lead?

I make small talk to keep things light so the walk isn't awkward and the tension doesn't build up so high for both her and me.

We get to her dorm and for some reason I tell her to show me around. In retrospect, why I did this... maybe I was trying to have fun or maybe I was putting off the inevitable cos I was making a big deal out of sex (yes, I think sex is super important and I don't want my memory of the first time ever to be a negative trigger). We eventually make our way from the third floor down to the foyer which is right by her dorm room. OKAY, here is where I need a breakdown of what I should have done instead of what I did do at the moment. We stop, she is facing me and I'm facing her. She tells me she is going to sleep. I am really nervous and in my head I am thinking, "No way does this girl want me to sleep with her, I made her feel so awkward when we were talking (remember she was fidgeting and getting restless)." I say something, and instead of letting her go at that I kiss her. She pulls away... which I am assuming I caught her off guard. I should have went in again, but I was freaked out by her reaction that I thought I scared her and turned her off. I tell her, "Alright, cyah." I watch her walk to her room, she opens the door, turns around and says, "I'm going to bed." At this moment I am panicking because of my kiss and the last thing I was thinking about was persisting only to freak her out even more. So I let her go, I said, "Sorry if I ruined your first kiss," assuming that girls freakout like that when they aren't used to guys kissing them the way I did. I walk out and rather and am pleased although I failed, being optimistic. If I had performed things correctly, I would have kissed her, she would've pulled back, I would have laughed and went in again for a more passionate kiss. I'd tell her, "Show me your room." We'd walk over, close the door and I'd close. Unfortunately that is not what happened.

I would really appreciate objective criticism from those reading my report. What I should have and should not have done. Things I did right and things I did wrong. Any points or advice that I should remember next time I'm in a situation like this.

Thank you for reading and take care everyone,

- The Wise Fool

EDIT: after reading this again, I am laughing so hard because I had no idea what I was doing the whole time and was just being a total goofball and having fun with it and just "Seeing where things would go." For not knowing any kind of game at the time, I think this was hilarious and awesome. Alas... I let her slip through my fingers. Le sigh... END EDIT

 

[TheWiseFool]

Day 7 Jan 4

5:15pm
So um... I went to look inside this store called Buckle cos they always have these nice looking jackets. The girl behind the counter said something to me and I turned around and then she was looking down at some binder and I was like, "What?" So I am looking at a jacket, take it cos it is a small. Turn around and am looking around and she is helping me and friendly and I mean really friendly in tone and behavior and just that wow kinda factor. I notice he is a 7 on the scale and I'm thinking, "okay okay." I ask if the fitting rooms are open and she says something really fast about the jacket I'm holding and then quickly says I have a nice jacket and I am getting kind of nervous just cos I am trying to prep myself to talk to her but she looks much much older than me. After finding out that the jacket doesn't fit, figures... (little tip for guys around 5'6" and 112lbs, order from stores in the UK) another girl working with her offers to help me order one online. Skipping boring stuff. I get my jacket from the fitting room preparing to leave and they are both giggling to each other and I'm getting really nervous, thinking, "Maybe they think I look so cute." And then I end up leaving cos of nerves... but I noticed out of my periphs that the girl I was interested in was staring at me when I was ~90 degrees out. Prior to that she was looking at her binder. May be looking to into things but yea... I'll never know now cos I didn't do anything... ERGH! Go back later and tell her that you would be driving yourself crazy if you didn't come back to tell her that you thought she was attractive. Then ask if she's single. Push through all barriers.

6:17pm didn't approach. I just went to my car and drove around for a bit yelling at myself. I realized how I would be talking to myself. Sayings like you... you... you... And then I came to the realization that it is I not you. "I", me. I am putting the blame on some imaginary person, my subconscious, whatever it is. It is me. I am the loser. I have to be straight with myself and blatant and unkind and hard because that is what kind of teacher I want for me. I have to be hard on myself if I want to succeed. It is my fault for being a pussy. It is my fault for letting opportunities to pass my. I am comforting myself every time I fuck up. I I I i i i need to stop babying myself and really hate myself until I do something. How can you love a loser? Why love a loser? Why spare myself hurt and regret when that is what I need! I need to hear the reality of the situation, not some comfort call bs that people live with these days. Sure I can be nice to them, but to myself, no. I demand results! I I i I I I I I I I need to stop this bullshit that I have been pulling at school, at home, outside. I am a loser until I start acting like a winner. I am a nobody until I have made something of myself. I am not great, I am not amazing, I am nothing. I am a loser. I am a loser. I am a loser. I am a chump. I am not happy, I am sad and disappointed at how slow I am. I am not happy that I fail. I am not happy that I am not succeeding. I am not happy with my self. I cannot live my self. I am settling for a boring life. I am dodging the future I want. I i i i i i i i i i i i i i am worth nothing to myself until I give myself something worth being proud of. I admit that it is me and not someone else or some psychological thing. It is me. Me = I. I am the one.

"I couldn’t live with myself any longer. And in this a question arose without an answer: who is the ‘I’ that cannot live with the self? What is the self? I felt drawn into a void. I didn’t know at the time that what really happened was the mind-made self, with its heaviness, its problems, that lives between the unsatisfying past and the fearful future, collapsed. It dissolved." - Eckart Tolle

 

[TheWiseFool]

Jan 5 Nothing
Jan 6 Nothing

Jan 7 Nothing
When I went to Macy's I decided to look around some clothes and see if there was anything nice. As I am walking over, one of the female workers there rushed right in my direction to the cash register and I was like, "Woah..." in my head. Nothing really fazed me so I continued looking. I find a jacket I like and I just shrug my shoulders and think, "Might as well..." and I turn around, get a good look at her. Her figure is nice so I think, "Why not."

She has her back to me to begin with.
Me: Hey, can I get your opinion on something.
Her: Yea sure. *She turns around and immediate eye contact.* I realized I was looking first rather than letting her see me first. Will fix this. She has a cute face, but nothing I am attracted to. I think, alright why not.
Me: Which color do you like better? This one or this one?
Her: Um... hmm. I'd say the brown one.
Me: Hmm... why?
Her: It has color to it. Grey is just boring.

I'm thinking damn.... grey is boring. Well, it that's what I am than fine I guess (I liked the grey one more).

After deliberating for a few more seconds.
Me: I'll have to try them both then and see. Thank you.
Her: Okay, good luck.

I go thinking, ok good. When I come back I'll open her with something like, "Hey, I meant to get your opinion of the jacket, but then you turned around and I thought you were really attractive. My names..." And since I've been worrying about age with women, I can't tell if a girl is my age, older, younger. I swear this woman looked like she's still in college and then her husband comes over and I'm like, "WTF?!?!?" In my head I'm thinking, you just gotta approach everyone... but at the same time I am still getting over my hangups with interfering with someone who has a boyfriend or married. But that is a lame excuse. It is better to fail finding out than not finding out at all.

Anyways, I try the jackets on and I don't like them. I get out and note that her friends/other coworkers are around her and I'm like, "welp there you go. I told you that this was going to happen. It happens every time. You have to act right then and there because the universe is giving you a clear sign that you will lose her when you wait." Literally happens every time and I am glad that I have this "Thing" telling me and having life show me CONSISTENTLY that it happens. I swear, I got it really easy and it's always on me to take action and I am just stuck. I am logical in removing any objections of mine. It is just the acting part. The ACTIVE decision to do something about the opportunity. Right now, it's not really frustration or anything. I understand that anger is useless right now. I am just apathetic at the moment and I am just beating myself into this sad state of hopelessness. Getting over this hurdle is taking its toll, but I know its worth it. It is part of the journey. I will get over it. It just happens at my own time. Whenever that is.... I don't know, but I am still going out everyday, I just am wasting time. Makes me really sad how I've wasted a week going out about +3 hours everyday and doing nothing.

I watched the movie Groundhog Day for the first time and I just laugh at myself.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

Same thing everyday. Everyday can be different, but I am living the same thing. What a pity. I've fallen into this, "Today's going to be the day." slump. I've created a feedback loop of doing nothing. I gotta break this. I need to. I am going to. I just need to act. I need to take the opportunity. I need to accept the present. I need to use the present.
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion.
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it.
Gil: You haven't even read it yet.
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer.

Gertrude Stein: The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

Ernest Hemingway: The assignment was to take the hill. There were four of us, five if you counted Vicente, but he had lost his hand when a grenade went off and couldn't fight as could when I first met him. And he was young and brave, and the hill was soggy from days of rain. And it sloped down toward a road and there were many German soldiers on the road. And the idea was to aim for the first group, and if our aim was true we could delay them.
Gil: Were you scared?
Ernest Hemingway: Of what?
Gil: Of getting killed.
Ernest Hemingway: You'll never write well if you fear dying. Do you?
Gil: Yeah, I do. I'd say probably, might be my greatest fear actually.
Ernest Hemingway: It's something all men before you have done, all men will do.
Gil: I know, I know.
Ernest Hemingway: Have you ever made love to a truly great woman?
Gil: Actually, my fiancé is pretty sexy.
Ernest Hemingway: And when you make love to her you feel true and beautiful passion. And you for at least that moment lose your fear of death.
Gil: No, that doesn't happen.
Ernest Hemingway: I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well, which is the same thing. And when the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face like some rhino hunters I know, or Belmonte, who's truly brave. It is because they love with sufficient passion to push death out of their minds, until the return that it does to all men. And then you must make really good love again. Think about it.

if you stay here though, and this becomes your present then pretty soon you'll start imagining another time was really your... You know, was really the golden time.

Gil: That's what the present is. It's a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying.

Nostalgia is denial - denial of the painful present... the name for this denial is golden age thinking - the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one's living in - it's a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope with the present.

I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying. We're all quite similar in the end, we all get old and tell the same old tales too many times, but try and marry someone, kind. And this is a kind man, with a good heart. I'm not particularly proud of many things in my life, but I'm very proud to be the father of my son.

And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time; and I've even gone one step further than my father did: The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day, I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.

We're all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride

Do not speak, just listen to the universe and what it is trying to tell you. The wonder and revelation you feel, will forget, and will come to know again. Don't hold on, just let go and enjoy the ride. You're safe here, we're in it together, we all have to experience each moment alone. Just take comfort in the fact that I know what you know right now. I'll see you in a bit

 

[TheWiseFool]

Note: I posted this in a previous post, but I want it here so that I can reference all my experiences together.

Journal Entry: 27 January 2014
Report Details: Morning of 23 January 2014
Romancer level: Intermediate
Seducer Level: Beginner

Location: Calculus Class
Time: 8am-9:15am

During my first day in calc class, during the ice breaker, one of the girls in the class mentioned her favorite movies which happened to be what I wrote down. In addition to this she mentioned a couple of other things that I shared in common with her. I didn't get overly excited, the only thing that I mustered up was this grin on my face and grabbing myself a quick glance to see what this girl looked like. The next day, I find that I'm late to class and lo and behold, the seat next to the girl is open! So I am like, "Okay I'm just gonna sit next to her and after class, I'll tell her that her favorite movie is my favorite movie too." Class is going on and I decided to just mirror her at the start to build rapport and then break it to see if she copies me to indicate interest. My theory is correct and after copying her, I can tell she is interested in me cos she is fixing her body up and matching my posture (I lean back, she leans back. I lean forward she decides to lean forward shortly after). At the end of the class, I decided to pack my stuff slowly, because I am in that state of overthinking, nervous, building up the courage to just say the simple thing that I wanted to tell her. And during this time I find that she is just sitting in her seat with her binder and her phone and not really doing anything and everyone in the class is getting up and leaving and I'm just like, "FUCK MAN TALK TO HER!!!!" Ending this long story, my nerves got to me and I opted to say hi to someone I thought I recognized as a friend of mine.

I walk away from tons of these situations and I always feel like shit afterwards. When I understand and remember the rewards of what happens when I take action, but I am just stuck in a state of inaction right now and I don't want this semester to pass until the very end and I take action to talk to a girl, like I did with my first day approach report. It's really debilitating and I am well aware of the negative toll that this unwanted habit is causing on my state of mind and well-being. Theory and practical application are very similar and yet very different at the same time. I'd say I have the theory down well, it's getting myself, my ego, whatever it is inside me, my subconscious to apply what I learn here in the field.

Further notes: After looking at the date of the interaction and when I first started, I'd say I've made a lot more progress compared to how I was before I found the site. I am definitely becoming more courageous although the level of courage is relative to who I was at he start/prior to GC. It's been a little over 3 months now. I started reading the ebook October 19th.

Although I am in a state of anxiety, I am certainly building up more and more courage. I have gotten the sexual vibe down pat, understanding that girls classify me in the upper tier of men although they are unaware of how sexually inexperienced I am. It's all an illusion in the end ^_^

I've also noticed that although I don't speak to people often because I don't socialize much, I have regained/retain my conversation skills that I had following the transferring from my old college. Being able to be a great conversationalist who makes people feel comfortable does not involve much work. Simplifying the whole process down to two necessary steps. First is being genuinely interested in the person(s) you are speaking to and the second is telling them how much you appreciate what they have told you and enjoy hearing them speak.

People, both men and women, older adults as well, are actively qualifying themselves. I don't like it because no one really knows the real me, but I also like it because I am just aware of how simple people are.

In the next journal entry, I'll type up another interaction today. This one is 4 days apart from this entry, which is nice because that means I am doing something rather than nothing. I'd say this interaction and the next interaction have planted the seeds for what I hopefully will continue to water and then harvest in the near future.
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Journal Entry: 27 January 2014
Report Details: First day of Psychology course
Romancer level: Intermediate
Seducer Level: Beginner

Location: Psychology Class
Time: 4:45pm-7:15pm

So this interaction is more of an observational report, but it is full of so many stuff that I'll need in the future for reference and encouragement. On with the report:

Today was my first day in a college level psychology class. It is an introductory class, so I am not expecting much or anything difficult, but I am open to learning! I arrive a few minutes late cos I lost track of time, fortunately the teacher was at the wrong classroom so I was fine.

The class was pretty packed and I was able to get a glance around the room since everyone's backs were to me. Surveying the field quickly for any cute girls as well as a place to sit. I wanted to sit somewhere that girls could get a good look at me. Luckily, there was a seat in the front row so I walked over and made sure that I would be very deliberate and smooth in settling in and moving around, as well as keeping very still prior to the beginning of class as well as throughout the entire class period. I've noticed about myself that I act really intimidating when I am nervous/in a new environment so I was "in the zone" when one counts for first impressions.

If I had to describe my behavior from another person's perspective, I was rather formal and proper. I like dressing well so my clothes were pretty good. I had a Hank Moody look going on, European boots, jeans similar to Hank's, a dark grey Henley long sleeve, a really nice European jacket, which set me apart from the average hoodie sweatshirt, pea coat, or field jacket. I also came off as pretty intelligent in the way that I answered the teacher and provided information to help my group (I don't like to come off as show offy, but participation was part of the grade and there was a group activity, as well as ice breaker).

At the start of class, I could tell the professor was passive aggressive, so I wasn't too fazed since I was dealing with passive aggressiveness from this cute girl who auto-rejected me (I threaten her status as "matriarch" of a group that I am gaining some ground in. I don't have to try hard either since it is the math club/math tutors ^_^ Great way to meet cute girls coming for help with math). The teacher got my name wrong in class and made some deal about it since it's formal presentation can be quite confusing, but I responded unfazed and did not give an excuse as to why I may be embarrassed of my name or heritage. Everyone was sort of laughing at first, but when they found out who the name belonged to and how I handled the situation, the laughter died (it was really really interesting and bizarre to me but I kept that Ryan Gosling smirk on my face). I definitely believe that I made myself known there, which was good but not the way I wanted it.

During class, the professor would ask for people to participate since we were being graded. I raised my hand two or three times and asked questions. The former serving to indicate knowledge in the field and the latter serving to hopefully indicate that I am not a "know it all" despite my answers and in fact am like everyone else, a student.

NOTE: noticed that making strong eye contact definitely has some sort of psychological affect on teachers. It's even better when you wear that "I know something you don't know" smile that I've grown used to having on. I didn't want to intimate my teacher since I need good standing to get help as well as grading, so later on in the class I would ask her questions and be friendly in manner and all that jazz that people use to get people on their good side. Pretty much wanted to show her "Hey I am on your team but don't pull any of that passive aggressive bullshit on me." I noticed I had the desired affect when my professor started using her passive whatever-she-does to qualify herself to me after I made some comment about something during class. I was pleased.

With all that ground work explained... here is the main part. So around the start of class I noted that there was a really really cute blonde girl sitting in the row behind me to my left because I wanted that seat since it is an ideal location for seeing the board and being in a comfortable position (taking notes can be painful). I noted that she was a psychology major during the icebreaker and also noted that she was trying to exercise her knowledge in her field by answering tons of questions during the note-taking portion of the class period. I wanted to start raising my hand and just one-upping her, but I didn't. I just kept myself calm and controlled. Her behavior reminded me of one post here where a guy did something in class and the forum member one upped him...

NOTE: I've developed a sort of competitive spirit/vibe, which is one of those double-edged sword habits that one may develop. I don't know if it is testosterone or something, but be careful! Essentially, I may be becoming a sort of control freak.... social dominant.... I need to work on balancing this and developing a vibe that encourages comfortability and warmth! Seduction is not a battle, although I could make the case that this isn't a seduction battle but a social standing battle. However, thinking about what happens soon, I do think that I don't need to tone down the dominance, at least not with hot, competitive girls like her.

So, for the last part of class, the teacher wanted to do a group activity. Things just happen to pan out where me and this blonde girl are in the same group. I am like, "HOLY SHIT WOOH WOOH" in my head, but I still keep my bored, relaxed, and formal demeanor on the outside. We get into the groups and the blonde girl takes charge as leader, reading and assigning the girl next to her to write down what she says, telling us how we should carry out the activity, and doing all her psychoanalysis about the individual that the case study is centered around. I begin to become irritated when she starts making fun of the individual that the case study is based on as well as her giving all the answers without giving anyone time to speak or asking for input from her team... I mean group members. I guess you could say her behavior was a turn off. But I could reason that maybe here behavior was to impress me, but I doubt it...

Anyways, I chose to sit back in my chair and be all relaxed, but I eventually became so fed up with her behavior I decided to interrupt her and one up her. My analysis of the man/criminal was much better than hers. I overtook control when she I said the main problem the man faced while she was going through some drawn out analysis of the man that didn't make sense, which was the man's development of trust issues from growing up in a dysfunctional environment. I did it again and then one more time. I took even more of her control when the girl next to her who she instructed to write what she was saying agreed with what I was saying (qualifying me and never qualified the blonde girl), essentially taking control of her lacky/friend. The group didn't disagree with me since my logic was sound me for my points while not qualifying the girl except for when she would say how bad they feel about how "crappy" the guys life is (which pissed me off cos she would make fun of the people in the study too...). The blonde girl started qualifying me rather than fighting against me. But, when she would refer to me, she'd call me "you" in a way that indicated that she knew who I was but didn't want to act like she did. One could assume that she was trying to 1) hide interest or 2) not send the wrong message. She even gave the girl who was writing the paper the job of reading so that she could "write somethings down." One could perceive the job of writing as higher than the job of reading because the girl was the previous leader took the job of reading for herself and gave her second in position the job of writing. An example could be from ancient times when scribes wrote down what politicians or scholars would say, the scribe is the servant and the speaker is the master or the one who hires them. She essentially lowered herself standing from a higher position to that of a lower one.

I noticed when she wasn't writing but listening to the other girl reading that she was now facing me. I thought, "She could use looking at the paper as an excuse to check me out." I was looking at the paper as well, but through my periphs I saw she did do as I suspected and did take time to stare at me hard fucking core for like 4 seconds! At that point, I was like, "gg."

After she looked at me like that, she went back to looking at the paper, BUT, SHE STARTED TWIRLING HER FUCKING HAIR LIKE CRAZY!!!! and the best part is SHE DIDN'T STOP! She was like that from that moment on all the way to the end of class. What was even funnier is that the girl next to her was mirroring her or playing with her hair cos she was aware of me, but I was like, "WWHHHHHAAAATTT!?!?!?!" I didn't pay attention to her anymore after that, but later on after the group activity was done and we were going over the answers as a class, I did take time to check everyone to see if she was still doing it and she was! I either made her really nervous or she really really likes me or she is thinking about something since I remember reading somewhere that girls twirl there hair when they are thinking about something. I hope it is nervous and thinks "Holy shit who is this guy?"

At the end of class, I decided to ask my teacher one more question to put myself into the student role. While walking up to her, I noted that the blonde girl had a guy come up to her and she said playfully, "Would you stop calling me!!!" and the guy asked her if she was gonna do something/go to something. I am assuming they have rapport already by how friendly she was with him. I wasn't sure if it's her boyfriend or friend, but it's whatever. I am just glad I didn't decided to talk to her after class where she could blow me off to talk to the guy instead. I really hope she doesn't have a boyfriend and I really hope that guy is just another guy chasing her. I forget who it was but I found out today that this girl has a boyfriend and I was like, "WHAT GIRL DOESN'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!?!?!?!?" That last part is on me to find out, but I still complain at times!

Closing Thoughts: handling and managing social interactions is much much easier for me now. Everything seems like a strategy game, like how Ender Wiggins behaved in the movie version of Ender's Game. More or less happy about how I can breakdown situations into these little parts, but it's much better than not knowing and being frustrated and stressed out. Heck, it's even better than not talking to a girl at all...
I also am just amazed at how that girl changed from how she was at the start of class to how she was at the end of class. I forget what article it is but I remembered how girls are mean towards a guy at first but if you stick it out she will melt and boy did it work and I didn't even have an actual conversation with her!
I don't know why but I get the feeling that this girl is into the whole domination thing because she probably has a ton of guys in her life who just placate and acquiesce to her demands or behavior. Not sure if the guy that she knows is a boyfriend or not, but he could be another guy chasing her. Hopefully I didn't do any negative damage. I am fairly certain that I will be able to take her out of auto-rejection or any rid her of any unwanted repercussions, but it will involve me having to drop my armor. The thought that comes to mind is James Bond comforting Vesper Lynd in the shower when she is having a nervous breakdown of sorts after almost being killed. If I can get something like that in there.... wow... but that sounds too good to be true. I also need to DO MY FUCKING PART and talk... hopefully my luck plays out or I figure out some sort of motivation, such as "The realization that I am part of her 'life' plan and am suppose to be the guy she falls for in college and I have to fulfill that role or else..." Sort of like how Christians have the epiphanies/moments of awareness in which God wants them to do something like "God is giving me the opportunity to minister to this person asking me a question about God. I have to do as He wants" and then they do because there is a motivation higher than themselves, driving them to act rather than remain in a state of inaction.

Notes for next class: I am going to take her seat next class just cos I wanted it before I saw her face in order to see what's on the board in a comfortable manner, rather than bending my neck back in an uncomfortable position. I really hope she decides to sit next to me and I hope I have the balls to talk to her at the start.

It's obvious I over-thought a lot of things and made a lot of assumptions, but I did so in order to achieve some desired outcome and it all came together well!
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Journal Entry: 31 January 2014
Romancer level: High-Intermediate, Low-Expert
Seducer Level: Beginner

Location: Math Tutoring Center
Time: 1:05pm - 2:15pm

Premise: Last semester I noticed that there was this really cute girl who tutored at the math department, but I only saw her once so I never got the chance to talk to her or get a great examination of what her face looks like again until earlier this week. (So superficial I know... but I'm only like that at the start and then I could care less once I find out about who they are.)

The Girl: petite and proportional body (jeggins are too strong), raven colored hair, hb7.5 face (I can be really nit-picky about the smallest of details), she must be smart if she's on the math team, which is a turn on in my book, her lack of discrete in hiding her interest in me indicates that she may not be too sexually experienced, but I could be wrong, and she has a beautiful name; oh, and I forgot to add that SHE WANTS IT!

I'd usually hear guys talking to each other about "that one math tutor", which would lead to vulgar and obnoxious conversations about what they would do to her in bed, which always pissed me off just cos I get annoyed when people are being disruptively loud when other people are studying or trying to learn, like those people who go to the library to study but end up talking the entire time about some story that happened during the weekend at some party (you get the idea). I decided to do what Ross did when he approached that girl in the gym to prove the point that beautiful, top tier women are not exclusive to guys in fraternities or rich men, I made it my mission to take this girl out on a date!

As I said earlier, I haven't seen her until Monday this week and haven't had a chance to flirt or conversate with her until today so I will put details about my "process" up until now. For people who don't like reading, you can just skip to the section "Friday"

Monday
This is where I saw her again since last semester. There weren't too many people in the room since the grad student who runs the math team says that the place doesn't pick up until later in the semester when people realize, "Oh man, I'm gonna fail math, I should get some help." I thought this was good cos then she would be able to see me. She was gonna sit in a spot right in front of me because she walked up to one of the chairs, placed her hand on it, scanned me up and down and then decided to go to the other end of the long table on my side (She's either too nervous to sit in front of me and wanted to sit in a place that is more comfortable or I am extremely hideous and she couldn't stand to look at my face lol). From there not much happened for some time. Both the grad students started conversation with me (I am an okay guy and I am cool with the "leaders" of the group) and one was talking about how I should sign up for tutoring because "you said you were interested" and I thought okay why not ("I'm gonna be here more often"). I was told I need to pick a day and time of day to tutor, which led her to mention her schedule to the other grad student who organizes everything ("Since we don't know each other, I want you to know this is when I'm here"). I thought that there was no need for her to do that other than she wanted me to know when she would be there, so I made note of the days and put on one of those "I know something you don't know smiles". I did so because I noticed that although she was on the other side of the table, she was facing me directly and sitting in a way that was excited and leaning towards me. That's pretty much it for Monday. I didn't want to talk much because I was so caught up in this idea/image of trying to be something I'm not: the guy who is too cool for everyone else. All I had to do from there was come in on the days she'd be there, which was gonna happen anyway since I go there everyday to get help with math.

OH WAIT! There was this guy who I've never seen before but he it was obvious he was knew and acted really formal and proper the whole time and people weren't really talking to him and I could tell that he was that guy who unintentionally put himself into the "nerdy/loser" category by just being himself. I wait when this happens, so I decided that I want to become friends with him and make sure that no one makes fun of him later when he isn't there. I thought this was great because I was doing something I enjoy doing, was practicing making good conversation, and it was just creating this atmosphere of "Why is he talking to him and not us?"

Tuesday
This day wasn't too special except for clarifying for me that this girl is definitely interested in me. This time around she sits in a place where I can see her. I didn't mention it yet, but I've fallen into this state of anxiety and frustration from not approaching girls who I'm interested in and not talking to girls who want me to approach them. This state of mind from not approaching girls has affected me in so many negative ways that I decided to put a post up about it, which fsc and Light have been helping me out so much with the support, I really owe you guys for today and am very thankful. So much of this day was observation and ignoring her, but I've been doing the ignoring thing for quite sometime. Sort of like the smooth guy in Chase's article 3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes. I've noticed that it does three things: 1) Gives her plenty of time to check me out and observe how I interact with other people 2) Creates intrigue in the sense that "Who is this guy and why hasn't he noticed me yet?" 3) Creates the frame that she has to go out of her way to talk to me/my time is valuable. And my theory works because she would look up from her textbook to look at me, 2-4 seconds at a time. I'd purposely catch her eye contact from time to time and smile at her before looking down at my book again, keeping a grin on my face (I remember how this girl used to do that to me all the time and I would just be on cloud 9 because I knew I made her smile). I'd talk to other guys in the room, since I was so damn nervous to talk to the girls, and she would throw in her own opinions and facts into conversations I would be having. Overall, this was a good day because I feel like I created a scenario where we both want to talk to each other but there hasn't been a way for us to do so, which is mostly my fault cos I am too nervous to start a conversation with her because I was being a pussy and didn't want to give my interest in her away. Anyways, I think this played into my hand nicely for what would happen Friday.

Friday
So Friday comes around and I am expecting her to not be there since she said she was gonna be there early in the morning and it was 1pm when I got there. Lo and behold, she is there and there are three other people as well. I'm thinking that there is no better chance for me to talk to her now than this.I'm thinking and hoping, "please let her be the only math tutor, ppllleeeeaasssseeee!!!!!" I put my bag down at the far corner of the other table and ask, "Are any of you guys tutoring right now?" One girl that I know says she isn't (one down), so I look at the other two. I look at the girl that I am after first and use this chance to quickly examine her face while I ask if she wants to help me. When our eyes connected I thought it was cutest thing to see this expression of "Omg he's talking to me!" spread across her face. She was so excited, it was adorable. And then the only guy there said, "Yea I'm tutoring right now, but I have to leave soon," which led to reality checking in for her and the two of them began deliberating on who will help me. In my head I'm like, "You can't hide it, just come on down!!" but I just tell them to decide between themselves and that I'll just be sitting patiently waiting, QUEUE BORED FACE!

Eventually, the guy decides to help me. After some time the guy has to leave for class and the girl coincidentally finishes her homework at the same time. "Just in time," she says. To make sure she doesn't have to leave, I ask, "I thought you were working on something?" "No, I just finished all my homework," she replies. I don't remember much of the conversation but I was really calm, relaxed and flirty... it was the weirdest thing because it was so uncharacteristic for me but I wasn't nervous, but having fun and didn't care. She was really cute, but not drop dead gorgeous by my standards, which is great (look at my signature).

Things started out as her just teaching me, and then we slowly started talking about other stuff here and there. Some guys came in and one of them tried making conversation with her about her drawing and she was coming off as really rude to him and then I said something about it and she was really cute about what I said. One of the other tutors came in who was the tutor for my specific class so they switched places, but I only had two more problems to go. After the other tutor finished helping me out, she asked, "Are you leaving?" which set me up to tease her, "And why would you want to know that?" in a "you don't want me stay?" fashion. The biggest smile spread across her face.

Once I did that she was chasing me hard and I screwed up a lot though, but I was doing it on purpose to see what would happen and she was just still going at it. Asking me what's my major, telling me I should join the math team, we exchanged names (I should have done this earlier but I wanted to keep the mystery factor up for a bit), mentioning something about some t-shirt thing that she's designing for the math team which lead her to mention her drawing on the black board and I joke about it and then she says something about, "wait I thought you said you like cursive" cos she was asking for my opinion about it earlier but I didn't know why. I replied, "I said I like cursive. I didn't say I like your drawing," which led to her making some playful threat to me. I laughed about it and got serious, telling her, "Hey. I want you to know that isn't doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your work. Girly or ugly or cheesy, it doesn't matter. All that matters is what you think of it because it is yours and you made it and that in and of itself makes it special. Be proud of your work, be proud of your art," which was good cos she was feeling self-conscious about her design.

One problem that I did have with this whole thing was that she said I'm funny at one point, which was not a good sign to me. But then she suggested we should hangout sometime. Right when she said we should hangout, my mouth instantly said "I can't" but I caught myself quick enough so that the "can't" didn't come out right. I paused asking myself, "Why did I do that?" as I was deliberating on the correct response. Images of me and her making out in my bed and then cuddling up after sex popped up in my head for a split second, which led some undeserving part of myself to think of me screwing up or how I am not good enough for her and would end up hurting her (past experience). To save her from myself (old white-knight complex), the words, "Trust me. You don't want to hangout with me. I'm boring," came out of my mouth. She said, "So, *insert excuse rebutting my excuse*." I mentioned something else but she was persistent so I asked her, "And what do you propose we do?" (At this point I am thinking, "Why in the fucking world did I just say what I said?!?!?!?!?! SO SO SO STUPID!!!! She literally just told you she wants to hangout. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!?!) I mean honestly, why I was giving her a hard time, I don't know. She said, "Here or during the math team." Me: "Okay good. You should stop by more often." and then we talked about classes and what not. After that I really wanted to get up and sit right next to her and be all cute and then I caught myself and thought, "Enough is enough. You are getting out of here and making yourself scarce and busy!" I told her I wanted to go to barnes and noble to read a book (I shouldn't have told her where I was going and I thought it was a boring place cos of how most girls are. But I think that since I come off as being so damn confident about myself, where a girl would see me as boring she thought it was great and mentioned how she reads a lot too and asked me where I live after one of the four guys that walked in at some point when we were talking together said something about fire alarms. She lives literally right down the road so logistics are easy. I got up, walked towards the exit, wrote lame on her design, she told me that I better erase it or she'll have me banned, and I left saying, "You wouldn't do that. You'd miss me too much."

Final Thoughts
Overall, I am pretty happy that I did something related to seduction today. Compared to who I was a couple of months ago, I am a lot more ballsy, have picked up on many social nuances, and breaking down social interactions are getting easier.

Somethings that have helped me are:
- Having a strong and consistent support system
- Starting off with low pressure approach (situational opener) along with having her tutor me (investment opener). As Chase says,

For most new guys, situationally relevant is usually the easiest way to go - it's low pressure and not as forward as some other styles, which makes it less intimidating to use. If you're a beginner, this is a good place to start.

- socializing on a daily basis (little conversations)
- keeping an attitude that is patient, in control, calm, and optimistic
- Being in a state of not caring about whether or not you win or lose, but testing what works and doesn't work because the outcome just doesn't matter

However, I am still disappointed in myself for:
1. failing to walk up to a girl this week and say just one word!
2. self-sabotaging myself. I could have made a date for tonight and then do the do... but I wouldn't want to cos I don't have condoms and don't really care if we have sex....
3. Developing a negative mindset.
4. Choosing to stay inside my comfort zone rather than putting my reputation on the line for success at the skill known as "day game."
5. Being so self-conscious, so filled with anxiety, so worried about what others think when I used to not give a damn about what anyone thought of me, when I was just living life and loving myself and others unconditionally.

I want to continue striving toward my main goal of mastering day game, but to get there I need to exit my comfort zone by breaking thought processes that hinder achieving such a goal. I need to continually humble myself to challenges and be willing to suffer for my craft. From this interaction, I think I need to incorporate more investment from her part, but checking Chase's ebook, it seems that I didn't need to see I didn't even carry the interaction because she was literally trying to talk to me every chance she got and was asking me all the questions, which I remember that I didn't make for them too much. How else could I make her invest in herself in the interaction? It seems to be that she was hooked right from the start and it was before I even said an actual word to her, all I had to do was display myself prior to Friday.

I wrote a lot for something so miniscule, but I just do this for when I check back on these things as well as trying to provide the most detail, especially for those guys who ask a lot of "why" questions like me. "Why did she do this?" or "What does this mean?"

It took me 5 days to build up the courage to talk to this girl. To some guys that's a long time, but to me, that is a huge victory and a very short time span! I waited until the end of the week to talk to this girl rather than waiting until the end of an ENTIRE SEMESTER to pass by before talking to her.

Next time I see that girl I'm gonna tell her to sit right next to me and just conversate and flirt with her from there, get her number, and I am gonna have to learn to cook cos if I don't I am SOL. I haven't gotten to the point where I am touching a girl yet cos I am just not focusing on it as much, but I should try to incorporate some incidental touch or kiss her when we are looking at each other at some point before talking like nothing happened. That last part sounds risky to me, but I kind of don't really care. What I do care about is getting this girl on the bad side and then seeing her at times and she doesn't talk to me. BUT, this can be easily avoided by just handling situations correctly and not making a big deal if she rejects me. In theory it sounds easy, let's see if I put this to practice!

If anyone has any advice or tips on what I should be doing during an interaction and where I should go from here, please tell me because I am always open and willing to hear anyone's advice!
- The Wise Fool

P.S. I decided to do one more read of Chase's ebook again, just to make sure I have things down. I skipped to the end of Section 1 real fast to read the "Essence of The Romancer" and was surprised to see that many of the things that I noticed about myself and things that happen to me are things that Chase says one should expect once they've gained an understanding of all that he teaches in Section 1. I feel pretty damn proud that I have a lot of it down and I didn't need to change too much of myself other than picking up little nuances and breaking down interactions into little parts that make them more manageable and controlled. Means Section 2 is where my answers lie, but I am going to read Section 1 again to make sure I polish anything I am missing.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Implicit Value: Using it and Listening for it

Well,

I feel like I've gotten a huge upgrade. I would say last week was where it all started. Pretty much, I've opened up more and am talking to more girls. The pros of the upgrade is that girls are actually talking to me before I build up the courage to talk to them which is awesome! However, I still need to develop the skill of walking up to girls in general simply because once I am not in college anymore I'll be back in the situation like I was in the mall where I wasn't sure who was age appropriate. I try to stick to girls within my age group, but eventually I'll need to talk to an older woman. Anyways, a little note from today below.

I noticed that I can implicitly imply my own value, without looking like I'm trying to beef myself up, through speaking to the people around me. I'll mention something about myself using comparisons or my own agenda and then after a few seconds or minutes later, girls will be talking to someone else or each other how "This and this" pertains exactly to what I wanted. For example, I like women who actually have social skills. The really beautiful girls who are just plain ole boring in conversation are the kind I just walk away from. I can't handle it. *Insert story from my life as to why*. Next thing I know, this one girl is saying how she's so smart, *insert story why*. I would say, man that is awesome, but she has a boyfriend and I can tell she is an "I" centered individual, where she views everything from how it works for her, rather than for others. I am a "we" individual in that I care more about the whole, rather than individuals reaping benefits while the rest suffer.

In addition to girls qualifying themselves implicitly, which is my fault for not opening for not answering their "I'M YOUR KINDA GIRL" MESSAGE, I was starting to feel really lonely... I was thinking about how women will change their behavior in order to attract you. Mold themselves to what you say. It's great that it works, however, I hold honesty to a high standard and I viewed them as lying. I don't want someone to say something because they need to, but because they want to. It's in not being coerced but out of choice that I find such individuals attractive. I love weird people because they are just themselves. They aren't afraid to standout. It's wonderful and amazing. I believe I found a girl who has a bit of those qualities and luckily, she likes me and indicated she doesn't have a boyfriend. Will get back to this in a bit, but I wanted to put how I fixed my beliefs/perception. So, I noticed I was falling into this sad demeanor, so I decided to reframe the situation. And I remembered that the real girl comes out after sex. Also, I reframed my perception to relate to how I am right now. I have molded myself into someone else to some degree, and am still growing into him, in order to attract women. Another frame is that they aren't saying or behaving the way they are because they are liars, but they want to show that they like me and want me to notice them.

Just somethings I noted for today as well as recently. I can't wait to one day read this and observe the trend in my behavior.

Until next time,
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Strategy for Shutting Down "Player" Accusations/Insults

This was a post I enjoyed writing and it just goes to show how far I've come in terms of understanding how to handle situations strategically and gracefully. Conversations, social situations, walking around have certainly become more discrete than ever before. Here is the article:

If you haven't already, I suggest reading Chase's article Handling Women's Accusations and "#5 Meta It" from The 5 Ways to Answer a Challenge in Social Situations.

I highly doubt fuckers will have the balls to straight up ask me; so far the accusations to my face have simply been "I heard you're a man-whore now," etc.

I definitely agree that people will try to avoid directly accusing you of said rumors. I believe that women's purpose for screening you hard is due to testing to see if you are of the caliber that they've heard of. Think of how people will ask for tons of proof from car salesmen when purchasing a REALLY expensive, high quality car (any high quality product for that matter). People invest time and effort in order to earn money, and that money is invested into other things to for pleasure or productivity. If you invest $1000000 into a car that looks amazing, has state of the art tech, and customized for high performance, yet it causes you more trouble than what you paid for, was that car worth the investment? I would say no, not worth the investment at all.

I believe that may be what's going on with you as well. Women (consumers) are accusing (testing) you based on rumors (reviews) spread over whatever communication they've received their info from. Men who talk shit about you are equivalent to other competitive companies in your said business and guys who want to be your wingman are companies who want to partner up with you (which is somewhat iffy to me simply because they are either lower status or they are trying to take you out/your spot. I am usually an optimistic person, but strategically speaking, how often do business owners work together simply because they "just want to help you out"? BUT, it's always great to study from a guy who really knows his stuff and isn't too worried to take someone under his wing).

1st layer defense - deflection (e.g., "hahahahaa, I'm hearing a lot of talk about me lately; I guess I should be flattered how popular I am") Additionally, if their accusation is very aggressive, I'll respond in two ways: if they're a girl (e.g., "so what you're saying is you want to fuck me?") and if they're a guy (e.g., "I'm guessing you need some help? Let's wingman, dawg"). The former will be very true to how I act normally with girls, and the latter might even make the guy my friend. I have a very good history of turning around people who don't initially like me.

2nd layer defense - if they pursue the questioning past my deflection, I'll say something like "Why are you so interested in my life?" which puts them in a VERY hot seat.


3rd layer defense - if they make it past that with some incredible social calibration, I'll probably just say something vague like "yeah, I've read a bit on the psychology of attraction; pretty fascinating stuff."


I think this is really good. I'd like to suggest an alternative strategy. It is only 1 step shorter and I think it is highly effective. My strategy follows this quote here from Ender's Game:
Colonel Graff: Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.
Ender Wiggin: Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they'd leave me alone.

Rather than winning one fight and having backup plans in case of additional "attacks," why not win the first fight and make it clear that there will be no next time?

How? By attacking the heart of their strategy: what people are too scared to say. Why save the boss battle last when you can drop it right on them when they are still at level 1? Why not call out the elephant in the room.


For those of you who are still with me, I suggest watching this video ALONG WITH what I've written below. In my opinion, watching the video in tandem with my explanations is very important to understanding why I think that my strategy is much more effective.

From 0:00 to 0:48: What does this look like? Will, the politician in the middle, is being bombarded with questions and is constantly deflecting each with quick, cunning and clever wit and humor. The professor isn't too flustered by Will's behavior, since he has a reputation (what does that sound like?), but you can tell the professor shows bits of agitation due to his inability to coerce out of Will (the middle politician) what he really wants, which is later defined as "a human moment" (Be real with us). Since, the situation fails to move towards the desired outcome, the professor says, "Let's move on to the next question." The problem has been avoided, but has the problem been solved? No. I bet you can expect the professor is going to go at it again, just as Anatman has to continually deal with girls (same or different) who test him again and again, wanting him to crack but he doesn't. Sure Anatman can just avoid it, but that isn't solving the problem, it is avoiding it. We want to solve the problem once and for all.

0:48-0:58: You could see it as just a simple question, but if that girl really believed in America being the greatest country in the world do you think she would have asked it? No. But she asks it because she wants to know which politician is best for her, which one knows what's up and isn't afraid to say it, which one is going to steer her and the U.S. nation back onto the right path; the path to safety, security, progress, freedom, and most of all, happiness. Very similar to how girls will ask questions or make accusations when they are scared, nervous, or unsure. Not that she doesn't want to fuck you, she just isn't sold yet, as one of the articles states.

1:14-5:21 This is where it really matters. And I think it matters because if one wants to end all subsequent battles, he needs to drop the hammer, call in the tactical nuke. Will first gives his usual spiel, but then he just says what everyone wants to hear, giving it to the people straight no chaser. He does not stop, unrelentingly presents his case until it is finished. "You want me to play your game, okay I will." The U.S. is not the greatest country in the world (Addresses their fears/the heart of their question). He takes it one step further and compares qualities of the U.S. to that of other countries (We are not the only ones doing it). Then, he brings everyone back down by walking down the moral road by saying what the U.S. used to be, a country of doing what was right and just and honorable (This is what I want for us). Lastly, he presents the direction he wants to take things, "First step to solving any problem is recognizing there is one" (This is what we need to do if we want to get where we want to be). Gee gee.

At the beginning people are like, "Oh no he didn't!" but then people actually pay attention because Will is just drawing them in with his human moment. I could be wrong, but a "human moment" wins the first battle and all subsequent battles. So...

The strategy or model for shutting down slut and player shamers:
1. Bait with witty comment
2. Human Moment
a. Address her fears.
b. Present the reality of the situation.
c. Your actual intentions.
d. Present her with the opportunity of a lifetime.
What each step does?
1. Pretend you are not taking her seriously, she thinks you do this with every girl aka she thinks you're a typical player
2. Complete 180 by taking her seriously and transforming her perception of you
a. Indicate you understand her
b. presenting a new frame for her to accept that justifies what you do (reframe her perception)
c. making a clear distinction between who you are and who you are not
d. You are giving her a choice, not pressuring her into anything
Example
"Oh I see what this is about."
*Smirk/smile as if you knew what she was feeling before she even knew it*
"The only time a girl ever says something like this to me is when she's scared I'm going to end up hurting her." (She will try to deny it, ignore her and continue on) *Ask her a sarcastic question*
"Do you think I'm the only person in the entire world doing this? That there aren't other guys and girls on campus doing the same thing I'm doing. Men and women across the U.S., France, Germany, Italy, Japan, China who are like me, who do what I do? Do you think we're all perfect, prudes who do exactly what society tells us to do? People who sit when told to sit, jump when he says jump, roll over when she says roll over? Follow the rules for what? A little treat and some validation so I keep doing what I'm doing like some dog? I'm not sleeping with of girls because I just want to use them like pieces of meat, some conquest, or emotional validation. I'm not some player and I am certainly not a liar. I, am not some guy who speaks sweet nothings into a girl's ear, stringing her along, and ends up leaving her high and dry when he's through with her. No. That ain't me. I am not going to do that.
"I am going to give a woman absolutely hands-down the best experience I can possibly give her. I am going to let her know during it that she is a wonderful creature; I’m going to tell her what it is I like and respect most about her; and I’m going to go out of my way to make her feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. I’ll be insatiable with my lust toward her, because women feel happiest when they feel most desired, and I’ll give her the best experience between the sheets of her life, because I want her to feel the joy and pleasure that’s possible when she ends up with a man who actually knows what he’s doing. And should things end, I will end things with the utmost grace, letting the girl know that I cared for her deeply and wanted to be with her, and things will only end with an amazing woman because she chooses to end them. It will be her choice; she will feel in control of her own life when she chooses to walk away. So she will not look back with sadness or bitterness; she will know it was her own decision.”
*Pause for dramatic effect as well as letting her realize how fucking awesome you are*
"Now that we've gotten that out of the way," *Sigh/laugh/smile like a big weight has been lifted off of your shoulders*. "are you going to join me for *insert what you want to do*?"

Hopefully, Chase doesn't mind, but the quote in italics is part of a quote I have up in my room to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing in regards to learning seduction, the kind of man I must become. I'm not saying you should memorize the example word for word, but when you read it, understand the idea, the purpose and intent behind the words.

There is the chance that after all this she acts like she doesn't care about what you just said, but don't get flustered. Just be like, Juan Antonia @3:15. "Aight, well, it is what it is. I gave you the best I got, I'm gonna go over there, come find me later after thinking about what I said." And there is, without a doubt, that she heard you loud and clear and understood every single word that came out of your mouth. It will definitely sink like venom from a rattle snake bite. In addition, if there are other girls around, it will sink in to. And they might act totally shocked or floored, others might be like, "What a total loser," but later on their gonna be like, "Holy shit he is so romantic!" If you are at a small school and have this problem, there is bound to be talk about it between the girls and it'll spread within 2-3 days. Maybe some of them will defend you when guys talk shit about you. I really hope it works for those who test it out!

If there are flaws in the method, let me know! Otherwise, I hope this helps,
- TWF

 

[TheWiseFool]

Masculinity is Relative to Environment

The definition of masculinity here in the U.S. is different when placed in an environment such as Asia, South America, Europe, Russia, etc.
In the U.S., socially acceptable dominance and assertiveness may be viewed as right extreme, as in rude, caveman-like, and ungraceful in Asia, but left extreme, as in nice guy, sensitive, and caring in South America where people are a lot more sexual and gender roles are clearly defined (machismo and marianismo). Heck, Russia could be completely different, idk.

Environment is an important factor that one must take into consideration if one desires to adapt to reach their greatest level of fitness (reproductive potential).

Girls who are attracted to you in one place (classroom or on the street) may not be attracted to you in another place (the gym).

In addition, girls who are attracted to due to certain traits may repulse other women. I find this revelation fascinating simply because I am just connecting more dots, specifically to biology. If my hunch is correct, then specialization in a specific field is greater than trying to be a jack of all trades. Not quite sure. Will think about this more.

Glad to have found this article. Reaffirms and adds on to current knowledge.

 

[TheWiseFool]

The Hot Math Tutor (continued)

Well, today started off so great and then went to shit and I am trying to keep it together. So with the the girl from my earlier field report, I said I was going to ask her out on a date Friday, February 8th, but this guy who was getting help at the tutoring department started hitting on her and I got really mad, despite not showing it outwardly. After he left, it was really quiet between us. Either she wanted me to talk to her because she thought I was mad at her for talking to that guy, she was trying to make me jealous and implicitly display to me that she is a woman desired by man, or that is her parting shot.

I just didn't know what to say. I felt betrayed, but it was my fault and I should have seen this and understood it clearly. I am not the only guy in her life. I did not act fast enough. I was thinking more tactically than I was spur of the moment, a balance I have yet to achieve. The only thing I could muster was some obvious question and she gave me this half hearted answer. I thought, well it's over. Lesson learned right? Wrong... I didn't want to give up but I didn't know what to do. The obvious thing to do is meet more girls, but I am failing at that too, not really failing but building the courage to do so at a pace that is slower than desired.

Today, I come in for tutoring at 12 and she comes in around 12:20. Sits down across from me and looks at me from time to time but I just ignore her. I didn't show any bitterness, I just focused on my work. But I want to say something to her, but I am battling between being a needy guy and being a guy that just moves on. My subconscious tells me, "Say something..." and I speak back, "And what do you propose I say?" And I could tell she was frustrated and hurt and disappointed, but I am a jealous creature, a character flaw I am working on. Pride... is a poison and a sinful sin that does no good. If I wasn't trying to be this guy that I am, I probably would just laugh it off, but, now I just want to win. The whole thing has just become all about status and reputation, a completely different goal compared to what I wanted when I first started. It has changed from wanting to win to not wanting to win, I just enjoy the attention. I enjoy that girls will go out of there way to want me, rather than taking things what step further. Why? I am completely and utterly scared of what will happen of a moment when I fail, when they realize that this look, this behavior, this persona is a sham, a lie. That lie is what eats me up inside because I love honesty and truth. And the truth is, I don't want it as bad as I do. I kind of want it.

I want that perfect date and perfect meet to lay, but I am stuck in starting as Richard titled a post. I need to fail forward, I need to fail and keep failing and keep learning and keep evolving and readjusting myself until I can be that romantic, sexy, ladies-man that girls will always remember.

I think that is the easiest thing. No model or anything, just ask yourself, "What does a sexy man look like, smell like, sound like, feel, behave, act, etc." How does James Bond act like with women? He is forward and suave and clean cut and a complete badass. Embody that image and live it!

When she decided to sit next to you after she got back from her class you could tell she was getting frustrated and sighing and wanted you to talk to her when she complained and wanted you to talk to her BEFORE SHE EVEN LEFT! MY GOD SHE EVEN WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO ASK YOU HOW YOU ARE DOING AFTER YOU PUSSIED OUT!!! You are putting all this pressure on her man. You don't even properly reward her. You don't give her that sexy, hot, tension filled excitement. You just leave her wanting more and leading her to believe that he object of her desire doesn't want her the same way. HOW FUCKING SAD IS THAT? That hurts! Why? Because you know the feeling! You know what it is like to go after something and then have the whole fucking temple drop on your head. You feel so embarrassed and you let it eat at you the whole day, and call yourself stupid and think of yourself as foolish for even trying.

Can you see that? That hurts. That hurts so so so much. A feeling you don't want to feel ever again and a feeling you don't want anyone to feel twice if not three times in a lifetime. But I think that's just it. You have to be willing to get hurt. It's okay to hurt. I'll be right here with you. Remember? Remember when you found me? When you were scared and alone, I was there, I am always here to comfort you, I am the only one you trust because I am you. You have to fall man, fall into love, into the pain, into that whirlwind of emotions, I'll catch you, don't worry. Do what needs to be done and when you fail I'll be right there to catch you, to remind you of where you came from, the mountains you've climbed, the valleys you've traversed. I am here for you because I love you unlike anyone will ever be able to. My love for you is absolute because the only thoughts you can ever be ONE HUNDRED PERCENT TRULY ASSURED of is your own. How can I lie to myself? I know myself better than anyone else. It's okay to get hurt, it's okay to be afraid, it's okay to move slowly, but it is NOT okay to let weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, moments passby. Time you can never get back.TIME YOU CAN NEVER, EVER, GET, BACK. Ever.

I see you everyday, inch by inch getting closer, but don't be discouraged. Do not be discouraged. If you have to stop by the same girl three times, that is better than two times or one time or not going at all. But you need to aim for actually speaking and pushing towards that goal. As soon as I tell you what you need to do, you need to do it. Every time you are surprised, you know you need to do something. That's the trend every time. "Oh that girl is facing me. Oh, she is looking at me. Oh she is staring at me. Why isn't she moving anywhere else? Quick, look around like you didn't notice her. Is she still looking? Yea she is. Holy shit this is awesome! She is really cute too... I should go talk to her. Wait, what do I say? I want to take her out on a date but I don't want to have sex with her because I don't want to lead her on. Ergh... I'm gonna go over there. *Sigh* I broke another girls heart, made another girl feel inadequate." That is literally the cycle every time. You need to break it man. Just walk up and start talking and then lead the interaction toward your goal. That is it. Three steps. 1. walk up 2. say anything 3. lead number so you can walk away and figure out the rest afterwards.

Anyways, back to the story. When she gave me that go that she was leaving and wanted to talk to me... this is what I wanted to say, "My days been pretty good, but I'm still trying to get this together. Hey, quick question. Do you have a boyfriend? *Wait for her answer* Awesome, what does your schedule look like this week? Alright, well since you are busy, how about you give me your contact information and I'll text you later. Whenever your schedule clears up let me know. We should get together sometime, I'd like to get to know you better when you aren't busy tutoring people." Interest stated clearly and concisely that you want something more than just a platonic relationship...

But you didn't say that. You let her go. You let her go man. And it hurt a lot. A lot lot. You writing right now.... you are pretty down in the dumps and you know you can pick yourself out of this but you just want to make sure you remember what this feels like. That corrosive feeling that just eats at you and reminds you how you aren't doing what you want to do. You are procrastinating, avoiding the problem. Waiting until you die. UNTIL YOU DIE. Remember what dying feels like? What is feels like to want more time but realizing you don't have anymore because you fucked up and made bad decisions? Remember this feeling before you approached the Pakistani girl? How frustrated you were from not talking to girls? Remember that? Remember how good it feels to step outside of your comfort zone and bite the bullet? What happened? You felt amazing!!!! You couldn't believe it! You are alive! ALIVE!

You need that again man. You need to feel alive again. To realize what it means to live. What LIFE really means.

Remember that night when you just did what you thought was what a sexy guy would do? Impulsive, hot, heavy, sexual, intense, he doesn't think he just does it and handles everything with this smooth suaveness that makes girls melt and say, "What did you do with the guy I know?" Be that guy man. That alternate you, that trait that is in you and all of us. You have every trait possible, you just need to use it, like locks and keys. Just unlock and unleash and you can store it back whenever you want.

I'm done. Pep talk over. It's all internal stuff man. Always internal battles with you. Always in the mind. Always a waging between right and wrong. You just gotta pick a side man. You aren't a bad guy for doing so. You can't live every life possible. Just pick one and go with it.

Here's to not being indecisive,
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Almost Asking for a Date

Journal Entry: 13 February 2014
Report Details: Walking home at Dusk of 12 February 2014
Romancer Level: Intermediate-low Advanced
Seducer Level: Beginner
Location: College campus walkways
Time: ~5pm

Entry Start
Note: Prior to this experience I was talking to a girl who had started a conversation with me. In addition, today was an amazing day where everything played out well perfectly and I had those few moments of luck and coincidence that let me know that everything in life would be alright.

Following my conversation with a girl who I had met while trying to do some math homework, I decide to head home towards my dorm suite to get dinner and do work. I debated on whether or not I wanted to take the long route or the new shortcut that I found earlier in the week because taking the long route takes more time to get home but I'll run into more women on the way there, while the shortcut is quicker but people rare use it, possibly because few people have dared to venture new avenues bahaha. Anyways, I decided, "I'm gonna enjoy a nice stroll home today. Get some fresh air and enjoy the atmosphere." I'm walking down the far right of the main campus walkway looking up at the buildings, grass, seeing if there are any people that are preparing to go home or still have class. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this petite little girl walking on the other side of the walkway. Although I have my glasses on, I am unable to make out her face, but she looks reasonably cute but not enough to make me go crazy. A thought pops into my head that it my be the hot math tutor (HTM) but I don't want to seem like a total creeper if I get her identity wrong. While contemplating the idea, I calmly scan the girl up and down for three seconds hoping that my brain will recognize her. No dice. I look over to the right at a sign and smile as if thinking to myself about doing something to find out. Thinking now or never, I walk over to the girl. As she slowly comes into focus it turns out to be her and she is just as pleased as I am, possibly surprised that I am walking up to her, which doesn't sound like a good thing because maybe she has deemed me as a shy guy for moving too damn slow. She only has a few seconds to prep for my arrival but I know that she is getting herself mentally prepared, I think it's really cute that I have this effect on her.

I can't remember much of the conversation, but I will point out somethings that I observed about me and her.

Observations
- The way I talked to her was completely different compared to the other girl. Almost automatic. Very sexy, dark, kinesthetic feel to it, like Daniel Craig in Casino Royale or how I'd imagine Christian Grey to sound like.
- Proximity to her while walking was intimate, practically shoulder to shoulder, I was trying to control myself from giving her a romantic kiss, but I doubted myself.
- There was a lot of flirting, the sexual tension was very high
- She was very witty for 1/2 of the interaction, but I continued to speak in a amused yet very lustful voice. When I realized that she wasn't doing what I wanted, I grew silent and looked off into the distance for a few seconds to think of what to say next, but she changed topics for me and then I took control of the conversation to deep dive her, which was short because there were <50m before we got to the door of the building
- She asked where I was coming from, where I was heading home, which prompted her to ask where I live despite having been told this before.
- She didn't ask why I was walking with her when my apartment was in the other direction
- There were 3-5 opportunities for chase frames and sexual frames
- I'm pretty damn sure she is helping me out, I am just not picking up on the bait
- I wanted to ask her out on a date right at the door of the building her class was in, and I had another chance right before
- I walked back home yelling to the sky. Neither happy nor angry with myself, but laughing at how anticlimactic everything was

Closing Thoughts
I'm pleased that I chose to walk up to her despite not being 100% sure if it was her prior to saying hello. I was contemplating just walking by and not acknowledging her because of that lack of certainty, but I am glad that I did in the end. One thing to note when looking on yesterday is that I carried myself pretty well. It is safe to say that I have down the "it's not what you say but how you say it" vibe down. Posture, walk, proximity, voice, all the nonverbals were great. One thing I want to add in their is that I need to incorporate touch. The only kind of touch that I incorporated was placing my hand on the top of her head, like some child, but that is not a good thing because I am sure she has some issues with being short, taken from my experience with short girls.

I believe her wit and quips were a result of nervousness or she wasn't taking me seriously because I sort of don't take her seriously in the sense that I just see her as cute and adorable (she is like 5'2", maybe less). My intuition tells me this is more of a bad thing than a good thing, but I want to at least "burn the house down" and live life knowing I did all I could. Even if she hates me after it all, it will be definitive rather than vague in the sense that I'll know completely and entirely why she behaves the way that she does. Putting those thoughts aside, the half of the interaction was similar to how Christian Grey and Ana Steele talk to each other prior to sex or when they are emailing each other. Ana will make witty remarks at Christian who gives her all these amused looks. Ana takes little jabs at Christian and feels turned on when he looks at her in this "I want to give you a good hard spanking for talking to me like that." I wanted to say that so badly to her." Instead, whenever she'd sarcastically come back with things like, "Eric, don't you know I'm always mad at you TWF," I replied back with some witty remark, but I said it in a seductive way that indicated that I know how she feels about me. I don't know if this was a chase frame. Saying something like, "The things I want to do to a bad girl, like you, for speaking to me like that," as I bite my teeth in lust filled anger would have been so much better, but I didn't lol.

Regardless, I was just a teeny tiny bit more direct than in the past. For example, I did tell her "I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to you on Friday," which led her to say "I know, but it's cos I had to tutor such and such. So now he's my regular on Fridays." From there, I could have proposed a date so that she could make it up to me for having to tutor someone, but nope. I let that fizzle out. In addition, I feel like some sort of sexual frame could be used here, but I wouldn't know how to say it without it not being mistaken as her being a slut lolol... that isn't funny. I did just watch Van Wilder a bit ago and it is interesting how nonchalant, fun, and carefree he is. He doesn't make a big deal out of anything. He says it, and the girl says no I can't but he just continues like it's no big deal. When he sees her he doesn't make a big deal about it. He has this "glad you made it! Let's get some skates, take your clothes off" and it is that simple.

At another point, when she asked where I live, I had another chance to propose the date right there. That we should grab a meal at my place whenever she is free this weekend. But I didn't think of it at the time, possibly because I had my eyes set on asking the date right before her and I would depart.

I liked that she wasn't bothered by me walking with her to class. That comes off as a huge investment on my part.... and I did fail on proposing the date, but I am still happy that I did what I did.... I was making it clear that I was going out of my way to say, "I like you enough to walk with yuh to class."

In spite of feeling great about the little picture, I am annoyed with myself because the big picture is not being attended to. A positive outlook on this could be that everything happens for a reason. It will all play out. However, one could argue that everything will come together if you put in the work so that it does. That is true, and with how life works for me, God is kind to me and helps me all the time, it's hard to say, "Why not just let go sometimes?"

If this was the first time ever meeting her, I'd say I did pretty well. There were no signs of nervousness until we were <50m from the door of the building to her class. It would have been smarter to have asked for the date there and then, maybe at a high note, but I'm still flailing in the water. I need to remember that it is not reactions but results that I need. Yes I talked to her, yes there was a lot of flirting going on, yes the tension was high, but I ended where I started: unsure of whether or not she is into me, not with a number, not with a date. Just a lot of unknowns and a lot of assumptions. For all I know, she could be stringing me along for an ego boost. Tomorrow, can you please please please just throw it out there.

I don't know why I am still continuing to press anything with this girl. I've failed so much, it is safe to assume she is just playing with me now. My outer wrapping does not match the inner wrapping. I remember walking back home yelling to the sky, "WHY?!?!! YOU WERE SO SO SO SO SO CLOSE! F*** f***ING f***!!!!" I just did that straight for 10-15 minutes. I did that for another half hour after I arrived at my dorm suite. Just laughing and confused and frustrated at how simple of an action it is, yet the desired words do not come out of my mouth.

In the future, I must refrain from thinking too much. I wasn't thinking much at all until I realized that we were approaching her destination. If I had asked prior when we had plenty of time to arrive, I'm sure things would have worked out.

Where to go from here?
Stop being so indecisive. Make a decision and stick with it. Stop overthinking. You are looking at all the angles. The good and the bad, which ultimately leaves you in no man's land. You are wondering, "Where do I go from here?" You are too focused on the maybe's rather than finding out what will happen right then and there. Remember, you can either spend your time sitting and writing all the truths or you can go out there and live for yourself. Just do it man. Live. This is life. Are you living or are you writing? This is your story, you are the author. Stop writing someone else's life and start writing your own.
4. Tomorrow is Friday. Come in around 1:30 and walk her home and propose the date along the way.

I'm more happy than disappointed. I just need to keep this going. Keep building. Keep talking to people here and there, keep yourself focused. Don't think too much. Just go out there and see what happens.
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Noticed this for a while now. I'm becoming more and more like my Dad. "the apple does not fall far from the tree."

 

[reyna91]

Online dating tips

So i recently, got fascinated about online dating and getting girls on websites such as POF. Trust me when I say, Ive worked hard and got something good. I dont know if anyone is still interested in this topic but Ive got a good ideas to get you plenty girls on POF....plenty not a couple. who is interested...lets trade some info.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Pratfall Effect

Purpose: explaining why trying to be perfect by never making mistakes makes you less likeable
Reasoning: essentially, if someone who is "perfect" or "has it all together" makes a mistake, their attractiveness increases after making said mistake. An easier way to put to explain why is that, mistakes make perfect people "more human", more relatable.

How this relates to me?
I think this is great! I kept thinking I need to be this perfect guy that has everything together but it's okay to make mistakes or have an area where you are lacking in, like math! I guess I was going in the right direction all along.

On a deeper note, there are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. It is how we perceive life that makes it that much more meaningful and enjoyable. Foregoing work for some play and vice-versa. The balance, always finding that balance When I was younger, it always was about the extremes, I am either this or that. I'm too intense for you, I'm all or nothing kind of guy, I can't get too close because I become clingy and my work ethic falls off. Everything in life is about finding that middle ground between both extremes. Luckily, I am able to identify them and have grown a slight awareness of it. A new thing I may need to add to this is that you have to have a greater preference for a certain extreme over the other extreme in order that more of your decisions lead towards the desired outcome when contemplating what to do. A 60% to 40% deal, where 60% on the desired outcome, and 40% on the undesired outcome. There is also the need to balance out, achieve equilibrium, where the percentages are switched. Sort of like sleep. If you sleep less than what you need, you may need to take naps or sleep a little longer than usual to pay off your sleep debt. Interesting theory. I like it. Make it better and more concrete.

Here's to not trying to be perfect,
- TWF

 

[TheWiseFool]

Tension Gap

Wanted to make note of this since you were wondering about it on Wednesday afternoon while talking to HTM.

The tension gap is the name for a phenomenon that occurs between a man and a woman when there is mutual interest and attraction, but a lack of a physical connection.

Better work on getting comfortable touching people
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Ask a Girl Out on a Date! and other news...

Well, I finally did what I wanted to do for the past two 2 or three weeks, ask a girl out on a date! Really felt a huge weight come off my shoulders but there are somethings I want to make note of in a bit.

She was leaving for her dorm suite while I was heading to class, she was leaving before me and I was just packing up, I was surprised that she waited for me. We both walked together since we were headed in the same direction.

NOTE: Something that I noticed while I was talking to her that is really bugging me is that I kept one upping her in conversation and it is really unattractive and I don't know why. I was breaking rapport more than I was establishing it. It was just automatic, I wasn't thinking things through like I usually do. After arriving home from my class tonight, I just found myself thinking, "what the fuck was I thinking?" But, somethings she would complain about, like, "O I have this to do" or "I don't like winter". I understand she probably doesn't like awkward silences, but I don't like people who complain. I could have handled things like that better. The only possible reasons that I could attribute to such behavior was that I was nervous or I've already created an unwanted habit from all my dicking around when I first met her...
Need to focus on being more encouraging and sensitive to feelings. It wasn't constant but I was not doing what I should have done: talking less, giving value, deep diving, establishing rapport. I feel so turned off when I think about it, disgusting. END NOTE

Anyways, when we get closer to our destination HTM is going home for the weekend. I finally asked heron a date, but things turned out to be that she is going home for the weekend. I wasn't fazed or anything cos I wasn't expecting anything and thought, "What the hell, why not just put it out there?" Anyways, I ask, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend? I was wondering if you wanted to hangout." She said, "Sorry, I'm going home for the weekend." I made an "oh okay" face, like it was no big deal, and then said, "Alright, maybe some other time," as I was walking towards my class and she was heading to her dorm. She said, "Yea sure."

It was like no big deal... which is what is weirding me out because reality did not match up with my expectations. I was expecting to be sad, but I wasn't and I was expecting her to be more disappointed, but she wasn't. We both didn't make too big of a deal out of it, I guess cos we're both busy or feelings have just cooled down and it's just going through the emotions. There's this mutual feeling of just wanting to be near each other, which could indicate a problem with leading on my part. Sexualizing situations and really pushing and framing her as this girl who loves sex.

NOTE: work on sexual frames.

Overall, the whole situation seems pretty self-explanatory but I am still thinking about it as if I need to read between the lines more. Do I try and reschedule next week or should I just give up on her? I don't really know when I am chasing or not chasing, so I guess I could persist one more time and if no go, then whatever on to the next one. I don't even know if I am chasing enough! Hell, what is the difference between leading and chasing?

I want to note that it was I who proposed the reschedule, not her. I honestly wouldn't expect her to want to go on a date with me anyway because I've botched things up so much, partly for fun and partly because I literally had no idea what I was doing. However, she waited for me when I was leaving for class, even though she didn't need to... and she decided to sit closer to me today when she came back from her class in the afternoon, whereas she was sitting farther away from me when she first walked in, possibly because there was only one seat open next to me earlier and a bunch of people near me.... I really don't know right now, which means I should have/should be leading more.

I feel like I am overthinking things as usual, but I want to be more safe than sorry.


IN OTHER NEWS....

In my psychology class, the hot blonde chick from an earlier entry waited after class today. I'm not sure if she was waiting to leave with the guy in front of me or she was waiting for when I was going to leave. I do know that she was checking me out though. I forgot to make a mental note to check who she was leaving with when it was my turn to ask my professor a question. Will need to just go for it and ask next week or do another test.... which I'm able to. I already know I have a presence in the class already which is nice. As long as I don't make friends, I can be mr. cool... haha. Funny how my most dominant personality is the one that shines when I am not connected to anyone. As the naturals say, "She wants it." hahahahahaha!

In addition, the girl in my calculus class who likes me is now cold or avoiding me because another girl came up to me and started talking to me. Geez.... sorry... :/ And the worst part is that I finally got a look at the first girls face and she looks pretty good. I'd like her with a tighter frame, but I'm not gonna complain. If she doesn't sit next to me tomorrow, I'm probably going to start talking to her and see what happens.

Not sure if I am not putting my full effort into things, but I am certainly feeling this desire to act. Just do it. Just go. Let it happen. See where things go. Get it off your chest. Getting something off of your chest is a great motivator for doing something. Doesn't matter if I succeed or fail, as long as I said and did what I wanted to do. And that is coming with a guy who has had anxiety issues and is experiencing anxiety issues do to events that took place last year. Funny how the time when anxiety would be increasing in my life is the time that I actually decide that I want to start taking action.

Overall, today was a good day. I'm pretty happy. I could ask for more, but I always reason that "everything happens for a reason."
- The Wise Fool