FR Was she ready to have sex?

[TrailBlazer]

So I met this girl on my dancing lessons. There was no tension between us, but one day I used a sexual gambit on her and she became way more receptive.

Last week at a party she was all over me, touched me a lot, and I kept shooing her away to dance with my friends.

When we were dancing together, she was kind of grinding on me and also verbally teasing me. I put her hands behind her back a few times and told her that she will get spanked, etc. She told me she enjoys bdsm and stuff like that.

At the end of the party she was leaving and I told her to wait for me. This is what I don’t like about game - if I didn’t tell her to wait, nothing would have happened. It’s all dependent on my actions and I don’t like that because you can easily miss opportunities (quick rant over).

So we walked together (again I had to literally convince her to walk my way, ugh) and we went to a fast food place.

There I chose a secluded spot and after a while I told her to rest her head on my shoulder. After a while of that I told her she’s terrible at keeping the tension, and told her to touch our noses (like face to face) and stare into each others eyes. This is my “kiss routine” but at the end I couldn’t make myself go for the kiss. I was more comfortable knowing that it could have happened if I wanted it to.

After this (still in the fastfood place) I caressed her hair and told her to do the same to me, but she refused. This I didn’t like, so I ignored her for a while (a LMR method) went on my phone, then went back to her, but she was much colder to me. She said she needed to go home already.

So we went outside, I tried to salvage it by asking her out for the next day, but she wasn’t too keen.

Before this, she was texting me almost daily, now it’s been a week with no investment on her part. And this is social circle, so that’s pretty messed up… this was the most keen girl and she was giving me a lot of social preselection for other girls to see. I really don’t want to lose that.

I wonder if this is how social circle dates work, or if more could have happened. I already put a lot of effort by literally making the date happen, by then I was tired of being the driving force behind everything.

 

[OldGuy]

She was grinding on you because she wanted to have sex with you! When you could not even come through with a kiss, she gave up on you, and feels rejected by you. No future with her, although some pre-selection with the other women may still exist. (Don't refuse a woman's offer again!)

 

[TrailBlazer]

She was grinding on you because she wanted to have sex with you! When you could not even come through with a kiss, she gave up on you, and feels rejected by you. No future with her, although some pre-selection with the other women may still exist. (Don't refuse a woman's offer again!)

I have trouble believing that. I didn’t give her much game, only like 2 gambits and some sexual talk. And I pushed her away from me, but that’s all. She still didn’t hear the most important sexual gambits yet, for example. I also haven’t deep dived her enough. I’ve studied this stuff for over 10 years now, it shouldn’t be this easy to lay women.

But yeah maybe there’s a whole another layer of game after making the physical moves that I haven’t discovered much yet. Anyway I still can’t believe that someone would be interested in me this quickly. That completely messes up the critical view I have of myself - and it happens a lot during daygame too. I just can’t accept that some women would want me even before I threw all the powerful gambits on them.

 

[gameboy]

I’ve studied this stuff for over 10 years now, it shouldn’t be this easy to lay women.

That says it all

You're too much in your head. You don't need ANY gambits to lay a girl. Just make the moves and move things forward, as long as she is happy to go along there is no such thing as going too fast.


How do you think people reproduced before the internet? Nobody had any idea that gambits even exist.

 

[TrailBlazer]

That says it all

You're too much in your head. You don't need ANY gambits to lay a girl. Just make the moves and move things forward, as long as she is happy to go along there is no such thing as going too fast.


How do you think people reproduced before the internet? Nobody had any idea that gambits even exist.

Oh man, this seduction stuff is really tough. Basically I’m forced to see that I’m good enough and some women want me even without all the bells and whistles. It’s literally destroying my identity. I mean it’s good but it’s brutal on my inner world. I’ve been functioning from the wrong place for the past.. for my whole life actually.

I’m glad for these changes but it hurts. All I ever had to do was relax and women would have liked me. Dammit!

 

[gameboy]

Relaxing defintiely helps

 

[OldGuy]

Sometimes it is that easy! (And it does shake up your self image.) The first time I realized it, I had been part of the group organizing the event. Isaid 'Hi' to every one coming in, than a sexy woman asked if she could sit at my table for pizza, i said 'yes, but my wife and daughter might be joining us'. She then invited back to her hotel for the night. It took me 18 months to adjust my self image of not sexy.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Okay so many of you guys were saying that once I have these major signs I should make a move and it will be welcome, well as I found out it’s not that easy.

So I went out with my social circle annd this girl again, and thanks to some preselection she warmed up again, while dancing she was grinding on me again and this time even giving me major bedroom eyes. Then she said she’s leaving so I went with her.

She wanted to go to sleep but I took her on a walk again to gain compliance. She complained but went with me.

I was STRESSED because I knew that this is a very rare second chance, after that first fuckup.

So this time I went for it - I stopped her on a lookout point and she was saying something about how I always take the opposing view to hers (yes I do this to avoid neediness). And I told her that on one thing we do agree - that she should kiss me right now.

I pulled her close and looked into her eyes for a while, but she must have noticed that I looked absolutely terrified (even though I was smiling but I had a lot of tension) and said - Nope!

So I smiled and said that she did the right thing, and casually continued talking. They say that even a rejected move will be respected if you take it well, and I think I did that. But then, after a while, I tried again..

She was telling me about how she likes candy and that she has a skilled tongue. So boom I immediately stopped her again, pulled her in, and said “well let’s see it then”, and again looked (probably terrifiedly) into her eyes. She again after like 2 seconds said Nope! and pulled away. And then the walk was over and she took her bus home.

So yeah, I don’t know. I’m really glad I tried to escalate, but based on the interest she was showing, it should have been way easier. Maybe she rejected due to how tense I was, but that’s pretty normal, isn’t it. I’d have to kiss a girl every day to stop being this nervous about it.

You don't need ANY gambits to lay a girl. Just make the moves and move things forward

Well I almost believed you and now this happened and now I believe I have to game girls more before making the moves. This is also why I didn't make too many moves on that anxiety coach girl, I think that when I’m super stressed (so currently always when things are going well), girls will sense this and reject you even if they said they wanted you before.

It took me 18 months to adjust my self image of not sexy.

Yeah, this will be very difficult and it will definitely change my whole life. Right now I’m scared of so many things because I know Im

 

[Will_V]

now I believe I have to game girls more before making the moves.

How can you say this when you just said you were absolutely terrified while going for the kiss?

Obviously the problem is you shitting yourself when you need to make a move. A girl isn't going to feel like kissing you when she looks at your face two inches away and it's full of horror. Change that and you'll get all the kisses you want.

I don't know what makes you so scared about kissing, but you need to find a way to calm yourself down and enjoy the moment whichever way it goes. What can you focus on to relax and enjoy things and let things flow? This kind of self control is essential during any part of the escalation and especially to give great sex.

Anyway kudos on going for it man, that's the first step!

 

[gameboy]

You don't tell HER to kiss YOU. You just do it.

Maybe you've seen too many of those horrible modern movies where the girl is always the one who initiates. In real life it's the other way around 99% of the time.

(btw you would know all this if you had really kissed girls minutes after meeting them from cold approach, Mr. "Best seducer of your country")

 

[Energy]

This should be an FU report

 

[TrailBlazer]

Obviously the problem is you shitting yourself when you need to make a move. A girl isn't going to feel like kissing you when she looks at your face two inches away and it's full of horror. Change that and you'll get all the kisses you want.

Why do they care about my expression though? I wouldn’t care if a girl looked terrified - actually it would put me at ease and I’d take it as a compliment since she is nervous around me.

Do girls really view this differently?

I don't know what makes you so scared about kissing, but you need to find a way to calm yourself down and enjoy the moment whichever way it goes. What can you focus on to relax and enjoy things and let things flow? This kind of self control is essential during any part of the escalation and especially to give great sex.

Well I’m just not sure about her reaction so it’s important for me to stay insecure so that I can laugh at myself before she does. That’s the honest answer.

I could just let things flow but then there’s so much that could get messed up down the line… any sort of intimacy is a huge test of my ability to stay calm and lead, and that’s really nerve wrecking!

Anyway yeah going for it and failing hurt a lot less than hesitating.

 

[TrailBlazer]

You don't tell HER to kiss YOU. You just do it.

Maybe you've seen too many of those horrible modern movies where the girl is always the one who initiates. In real life it's the other way around 99% of the time.

(btw you would know all this if you had really kissed girls minutes after meeting them from cold approach, Mr. "Best seducer of your country")

You’re again trying to mock me, that’s not cool. I really did well in the past and now I’m struggling to remember everything.

In this case I didn’t kiss her directly because I was already scared to just hold her close. Also with my scared face, she would almost definitely pull away. During my Best seducer era I tried to kiss many girls after approaching them and when I looked scared, they always pulled away.

Which is stupid because of course I’ll be stressed, but that’s just a rant.

Also she’s from my social circle so it’s good that this wasn’t really a rejection and I can keep trying later.

And the line “you should kiss me right now” is something that worked once for me so I wanted to use it again.

But yeah hopefully soon I won’t be so stressed and then I’ll be able to kiss girls myself. But now I had to hide behind that “you kiss me”.

This should be an FU report

Well it’s not FU’d yet, I may see her again and make it into a LR. Or I should make a new post for every date? That sounds like wasting space.

 

[StrayDog]

This is my “kiss routine” but at the end I couldn’t make myself go for the kiss. I was more comfortable knowing that it could have happened if I wanted it to.

if it didn't happen you don't know shit. for all you know she would have rejected your advances. Key word here is "could". As in this entire notion very well COULD be a cope

After this (still in the fastfood place) I caressed her hair and told her to do the same to me, but she refused.

oh she wouldn't even brush your hair, and yet you "could" kissed her. Highly suss bruv. Highly suss.

Also, were you escalating for a kiss right there at the restaurant? Wheres your structure here? You weren't even going to try to pull first? Just escalate for a kiss in public?

I don't think she got cold because you didn't kiss her. I think she got cold because you didn't offer her a clear idea of where things might be headed.

You've raised the tension with this kiss escalation routine (which honestly is a little weak in general "here now we touch noses"), then kept it going too long for now reason. Especially with the hair brushing thing, at which point she was over it. Because there was no clear direction where it was headed. even if you had kissed where could it have gone? you'd have released all the tension and then you still have to pull.

she lost interest because the interaction didn't really feel like it was going anywhere, and wasn't just because you didn't kiss her.

 

[TrailBlazer]

if it didn't happen you don't know shit. for all you know she would have rejected your advances. Key word here is "could". As in this entire notion very well COULD be a cope

oh she wouldn't even brush your hair, and yet you "could" kissed her. Highly suss bruv. Highly suss.

Also, were you escalating for a kiss right there at the restaurant? Wheres your structure here? You weren't even going to try to pull first? Just escalate for a kiss in public?

I don't think she got cold because you didn't kiss her. I think she got cold because you didn't offer her a clear idea of where things might be headed.

You've raised the tension with this kiss escalation routine (which honestly is a little weak in general "here now we touch noses"), then kept it going too long for now reason. Especially with the hair brushing thing, at which point she was over it. Because there was no clear direction where it was headed. even if you had kissed where could it have gone? you'd have released all the tension and then you still have to pull.

she lost interest because the interaction didn't really feel like it was going anywhere, and wasn't just because you didn't kiss her.

I wasn’t ready for any structured date, honestly I just wanted to know if she would kiss me. I’m still in the game to find out whether girls even want me, I’m not an efficient guy who knows what he’s after.

But I can see that you’re right, I’m just scared to move things forward at the moment. Like just the thought of me being isolated with a woman stresses me out, so I don’t even plan for it.

I can’t imagine leading a date while having the mindset of “I need you to like me otherwise I’m worthless!”. I’d need to take care of that first by having other options and then I could follow a structure because it wouldn’t be life or death anymore.

But now that I think about it, having a structure would be even more stressful because I’d know what awaits me if I succeed. And so I’d have the terrified face I had on the second date (post a bit above) for the whole time..

 

[StrayDog]

I’d know what awaits me if I succeed

fun times with a beautiful woman?

 

[OldGuy]

Social circle will only allow recovery with her when she knows you have slept with other women in the circle. Then she might be interested in stealing you back.

 

[StrayDog]

Social circle will only allow recovery with her when she knows you have slept with other women in the circle. Then she might be interested in stealing you back.

yes, she has already experienced that going out with him doesn't seem to clearly be leading anywhere. has little incentive at this point to go for round two.

 

[StrayDog]

it shouldn’t be this easy to lay women.

says the guy who DID NOT lay the woman

 

[TrailBlazer]

fun times with a beautiful woman?

Sex isn’t fun times for me yet. I get super stressed out just by the thought of it. Especially since if it’s awkward or bad, I can say goodbye to the woman.

I’ve had too many sexual encounters where the woman was just waiting for me to do something and I was too scared. And ashamed of how I probably look. It’s not fun. I don’t know how many more women I need to lose until I learn to be comfortable.

yes, she has already experienced that going out with him doesn't seem to clearly be leading anywhere. has little incentive at this point to go for round two.

This is crazy though. Just a few years back I scared women because I was too weird, and now I’m being rejected because I’m not moving fast enough? Like make up your mind women, am I good enough or not??

says the guy who DID NOT lay the woman

Well that’s why I didn’t lay her, I wanted to game her more and didn’t expect it to be this easy. I learnt a ton of material to use it, not to figure out I don’t need it after all.