LR  Watch Out For These...

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
449
Location
Northern California
Hoping this can help guys keep themselves out of situations like this.

NJ, this post came at a really good time for me, thanks. Spooky coincidence, just had a girl personally attack me for the first time over text today! Met her in kick-boxing today and asked her out for coffee this weekend. She's a book worm allright, a registered nurse (RN) workaholic. However, the texts came before the first date, yikes!

Me (5pm): ice breaker text

Girl (515pm): sexual text

Me: *No response b/c I'm driving*

Girl (530pm): apologizes for her sexual message

Me: *No response b/c I'm still driving*

Girl (6pm): tells me her life story and why she's shy, ect. in two big texts

Me: *No response b/c I'm curious* LOL!

Girl (730pm): Racially rips on me plus says I was probably a dumb blonde

Me: *No response* NEXT


They need to "lose" several guys by going overboard (just like WE lose tens to hundreds of women learning THIS stuff when we go overboard) before they get their heads on straight. Because if you capitulate and let them have their way when they go "crazy," they'll associate going crazy with getting what they want.

Can't believe 10 months ago I was going overboard by being the crazy one and revealing personal info over text. This really puts both sides in perspective!
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,890
Well done on this, NJ. A couple of notes - this:

NarrowJ said:
Eventually she gets frustrated and tells me I’m “a typical male”

... and this:

NarrowJ said:
Just explained that I wasn't mad at her, but that when there's problems like this so early on in things between two people it usually doesn't work out. I said that it just wouldn't be good for us to continue to see one another in the context of a romantic relationship. She said she understood that, and was calm and collected about the whole thing.

... speak to a certain degree of baggage with men. You see this the most usually with late-20s girls.

"Typical male" means cynicism about men, and you wouldn't be getting a fair shake in a relationship with her - she's going to project her expectations about men onto you.

Calm and collected after really good sex either means she's highly orgasmic and has really good sex with everyone (thus, the non-scarcity reaction to losing a guy she's had an amazing experience with), in which case she usually isn't the type who's all that good at sticking with the "exclusive monogamy" setup, or she's playing it cool because she knows betraying her real emotions (neediness) probably turns you off.

One that's interesting though is this:

NarrowJ said:
Then, last night I got the following two texts from her at 115 in the morning:

"Nootjifbsdbsytr"

and

"Hehehebhe goodnight sexy locku C"

Ugh....

So, she obviously harbors no ill will to you, or you'd be getting the "FuckyouNJyoubastardforrippingmyheartout" drunk text, followed up with "SorryIdidntmeanitcanIcomeoverandseeyou?" emotional swings.

You'll notice that a lot of women with advanced degrees and high-income careers tend to have higher testosterone levels, which makes them hornier, AND they're also around aggressive, successful men, which means they constantly have horny, attractive men available to them, unlike, say, the girl who works at McDonald's and is surrounded by overweight men with zero ambition besides making assistant store manager, plus whatever guys live in her neighborhood. And women who play sports tend to be some of the most sex-crazed you'll find (overall). That's another high testosterone, high competition environment, just like the career woman's grind.

By her background and reactions, I'd peg her as a "short fuse" kind of girl who gets possessive about a man, but not for too long, and moves on pretty quick because she has plenty of options. The emotional switching between jealous, nonchalant (which I think was genuine), then chasing is rather unstable, with the quick rebound of emotions meaning she enjoys you but doesn't view you as scarce, and the fact that she's sending you garbled drunk texts means she's an irresponsible drinker, which is usually a very bad thing to have in an exclusive relationship partner... especially if she hasn't grown out of it by 28.

All in all, I'd say a few big red flags for a relationship, and good call on cutting the cord early on this one. She'd probably have been alternating periods of "fun" and "nightmare" in a relationship... I say that having dated women who match much of her description. Loads of fun when times are good! Way too many fires to put out though.

Chase
 
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