wazato's Newbie Assignment

wazato

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Hello to anyone who reads this.

Already did day 1 of the newbie assignment but I guess I'll do a little introduction first before getting into it. I'm a 21 year old college student at a large public university on the west coast U.S. I've never done a single cold approach or really much of anything to proactively improve my seduction skills, despite knowing about Pick Up and the main GC blog for a long time. Planning on changing that within the next 14 days. In terms of the past experience I do have with women (which is not a lot), mostly just social circle and occasionally meeting new girls at parties and failing to get with them. I honestly feel a bit shameful about how long I've been reading this PUA stuff on the main site and sometimes here on this forum without ever actually applying 95% of it, but I guess yesterday was the final straw for me, as I've resolved to start the newbie assignment and see if I can't kickstart a seduction journey. Not gonna try to do too much and will simply keep building momentum day by day. The goal is to just properly complete the assignment without half-assing or excuses, however, I do have confidence in myself and believe that there is potential for something great to happen if I can just keep pushing.

Any and all feedback is welcome!
 

wazato

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Day 1: Observation

I had about three hours in between two of my classes today, so I thought I would start off by checking out a coffee shop I often see but have never visited near my apartment complex. Both this coffee shop and my apartment are close to campus, so unsurprisingly the clientele was mainly college students. I sat down at a small table between two girls and did a little bit of coursework. It was pretty lively, but not too crowded nor too loud, so I definitely think that I could start a one on one convo with a girl here. Next I walk back to campus and decide I'm gonna do a little exploring to see if I can find a couple spots within campus that would be especially good for Day Game. I might not really be thinking about this correctly, though. If the whole campus counts as one (1) place to meet women, should I just be willing to meander about wherever and approach girls when I see them? I was looking for places and times that were high enough traffic that attractive girls would still be there frequently, but maybe not as much in a rush, and by themselves. I found a sort of secluded pathway that was a shortcut between buildings, passing through some science halls, where there were plenty of places to sit and relax on both sides of this path and a fair amount of people walking through it (I guess the shortcut's an open secret!) I will keep this one in mind as I move about campus from now on. I see various lawns with girls relaxing on them, but I feel it might be a little aggressive or "out there" to go up to a girl lying on her belly in her own little world and potentially spooking her. I'm sure there's a way to do this right, I just have to figure it out. There are plenty of benches scattered about and outdoor seating outside of campus dining options that often have girls sitting on them solo. Almost everything I'm seeing seems like a decent option, just requiring a slightly different approach to it, whether she's laying down in a more vulnerable position on a lawn, or sitting on a bench reading a book, or waiting in line for coffee/food, or simply walking by/alongside me. I don't know all the intricacies that these different approaches require, but I'll do my best to at least say something and gain some experience from now on.

I have some more work to do before class, so I head over to the library, which I know is a good place to meet girls. There are multiple floors with varying levels of volume/activity, and it's always full of opportunities to meet and form a connection with a girl that I've yet to take advantage of. What do I mean exactly by opportunities?

Approach Invitations.

I've failed to mention this so far, but my fundamentals are actually pretty good. I said that 95% of the stuff I've read on GC gets lodged in short term memory and then discarded without application, but I have spent a relatively large amount of time working on various fundamentals here and there over the years. Of course my game is still non-existent, as are my results, which is why I'm here. But I get a lot of approach invitations (sometimes incredibly blatant too) and signals of interest from girls when I do get to talk to them, I just always fail to deliver on that initial interest. The reason I finally started this Newbie Assignment today was because yesterday I was waiting at a traffic light, and a girl walked up and did "The Hover". I glanced in her direction and noticed she looked incredibly fashionable, which is rare at my school. Red patterned skirt that stood out, cute black top, stylish boots. Her face was gorgeous too. I had genuine interest in her. I wanted to give her a genuine compliment and introduce myself. But I didn't. I couldn't. I've read the "I just saw you and I had to tell you blah blah blah... " direct opener example a million times at this point on the blog and the boards, but the rare time where I really would've meant it, I did nothing. So that was it. I couldn't take it anymore and now I want to do everything I can to not let that happen again. Hopefully. I know well how habits and default behaviors/mindsets can be difficult to change. But damn, I have to try.

So back to the library.

I go to take a seat by the window a couple feet away from a cute, petite brunette with blonde streaks, wearing a popular style of... sweatpants and a cute-ish sweater (like I said, girls' fashion is weak here). She makes eye contact with me as I near my personal little table and move to sit. She holds strong eye contact with me, following my eyes as my body drifts down into my chair. At least, like, five seconds of some serious eye-fucking. I'm telling you guys, this happens to me a lot. I'm just a coward. And what do I do? Nothing, of course. I start working on a non-seduction related assignment and get prepared for an upcoming lecture. While doing this, I notice her taking frequent glances my way. After a couple minutes some guy on the girl's other side just randomly blurts out to her (they hadn't been speaking at all since I sat down),

Some Guy: "Hey do you have Snapchat?"

Her: glances over at him hesitantly and nods her head yes.

Some Guy: "Can I have it?"

Her:

Oof. Silence. This guy then stays and waits, looking at her expectantly for maybe another minute or two, I guess thinking she didn't hear him. But he also didn't repeat his question, so i don't know. He gets up to leave. I guess she feels bad so as he's about to walk away, she fakes having not heard him and after he asks again she gives her Snap for him to add. He leaves. Okay. Here we go. If there was ever a time to build that momentum I was talking about and start seducing girls, now would be it. I turn to her after the guy's out of ear shot and kind of mumble to her,

Me: "So, uh, he asked you for yo-"

Her: turns her head toward me furiously "YES! Omg. He was acting very creepy earlier too. I'm definitely not gonna add him back."

Note: Now, I don't know if she was so eager to talk to me because she was super interested in me and was just waiting for me to say anything (the earlier eye contact makes me think partially so), or if she just wanted to vent about some weirdo. The rest of the convo has a similar theme of "I'm not sure if she likes me or is just venting, or if she did like me and I dropped the ball so now she's just venting."

I don't remember the exact sequence of everything we talked about so I'll just list what I can remember.

Me: "Well, I'm sure he meant well."

Her: "Yes! I'm sure. I actually... " starts fast-paced monologuing about freshman orientation and some guy she has a crush on where she asked him for his Snapchat.

Me: "Yeah... uh huh..."

Her: "... and where I'm from we barely ever used Snapchat-"

Me: interjects "Where are you from?"

Her: "Washington"

Me: "Oh yeah? And why did you deci-"

Her: interrupts and goes right back to talking all about the guy she has a crush on, how he's so tall, and she feels so awkward about shooting her shot, how do I get him to like me etc.

Her: "...and I hope we will one day be Mr. and Mrs. Johnson (fake name)... Oh god! What I said was totally cringe, wasn't it?"

Me: "Well, probably don't say that to him."

Okay. I don't want to go through the rest of the conversation in this format. I'm already going a bit crazy just rehashing it, but I think there are a lot of lessons to be learned on my end so I'll summarize the main points.

1. I tried to do some banter and be funny. Don't think I was very good at it. Not super strong reactions on her end, but reactions don't equal results right?

2. At some point she learns that I'm a fourth year student, and calls me "old" and "so far away from where she is." I laugh and challenge this frame pretty hard "Oh, where I'm at is just around the corner. We're not all that far apart. Just 3 short years."

3. I started to lose interest in the conversation naturally as she kept rambling about shit that wasn't conducive to seduction and cutting me off. So, I shifted my body language away from her a bit, gave her less eye contact, and had a bored look on my face (because I was bored and maybe frustrated that I wasn't capable of navigating the conversation the direction that I wanted). I thought she may get the hint and say something like, "well it was nice meeting you... ?" but instead she got even more invested in our interaction, giving me stronger non-verbals (body facing toward me even more, smiling more, more animated) and now asking me a bunch of questions about myself.

4. There was a general vibe or dynamic throughout the convo of me being in the position of mentor or authority figure, giving her advice and letting her talk a little about her freshman struggles. Some of it was maybe helpful to the goal of seduction, like her asking me for advice on male-female interactions and romantic encounters (she was very inexperienced). Some of it was definitely not helpful, namely her rambling/venting about her problems and her crush on this guy. She even said in half-jest, half-truth at some point, "Thank you for the therapy session, lol"

5. After I started to peel away from the conversation, she was doing almost all of the work to keep it alive. I was able to actually learn a little about her. She didn't get into her dream school; Why was her dream school her dream school; She's close with her family, her mother in particular. I did a little Cold Read that she was probably an honors student and a good girl in high school, which was correct. She started to talk about playing soccer, playing the piano, doing volunteer work, working with some cancer foundation, and many more things one after another. I'm not sure if she was just bragging or qualifying herself to me.

6. After she would finish making a point, I would just let the silence linger and make eye contact with her. I'm not exactly privy on what makes eye contact more flirty or sexual, but there was definitely tension in these moments where we would just look at each other. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. She would then start talking again and taking the conversation wherever she wanted.

7. That last part feels like the biggest misstep to me, that I couldn't lead or control the conversation at all, and only once I became disinterested was when she herself moved the conversation to topics more productive for romance. But I'm still not leading, and that "style," if you can call it that, feels way too passive.

8. Finally, there were a couple guys near us who were probably listening to everything she was saying, which admittedly some of which would be funny to a third party, and whispering to each other and snickering every so often. I made very direct eye contact with one of them in a sort of small confrontation and he acted confused and said "what?" The girl looks back and forth and goes,

Her: "Oh. Were they listening in on us."

Me: "Nah they were laughing about something else. Don't worry about it."

and their behavior stopped after that. But now, I was honestly a bit self conscious, feeling awkward and like I was doing something wrong, which I know is stupid but the feeling was there and definitely influenced my overall disinterest in the rest of conversation, for better or worse.

And so at some point, when the imbalance of investment in the conversation between me and this girl reached critical mass she said, "Well, I gotta go back to the dorms, but it was great meeting you, Wazato."

Me: "Yeah. You too."

Her: stands up and lingers for a few seconds before leaving while I'm already back to working on my laptop. "Well, bye bye!?" she smiles expectantly

Me: "Yeah. Bye."

Man, I feel bad about this. How many women have I implicitly rejected like this in a similar fashion? Starting to feel like a lot, even if most never make it this far in conversation with me. But with this girl, and not to make excuses, it was kinda weird. She was kinda weird and not super socially attuned and rattling on about some other guy she liked and calling me her therapist. However, all her non-verbals told me she was interested, she also even verbally complimented me on things like my style/fashion, and the way the interaction ended told me she wanted me to grab a number. Yet, I still left the interaction feeling confused and frustrated about whether she actually was interested and wondering how I could've done better. The final place to meet women that I checked out real quick was a Barnes & Noble downtown. It looked good and I like smart girls. Not much to say as I was quite tired at this point from a lot of walking, talking, and attending lectures. If my school campus counts as only one place, then that's only three. However, overall I'm happy to get started on what is hopefully a long journey. This ended up a little long for a Day 1 newbie assignment and is probably too detailed for being about the life of a guy who doesn't get laid, but I'm a detail-oriented person. So, for anyone who actually reads this through and has anything to say - thank you and I'm all ears.

On to Day 2.
 
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wazato

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Day 2: Posture

Today I went to the gym, so I took that as my opportunity to walk around campus a bit first and observe the posture of other people around me. There was a Career Fair going on when I got there, with a large crowd of students in their best attempt at business attire (button downs, ties, dress shoes). This made for a perfect comparison of different people's posture and the effect their posture has on how they come across to me. One would think that at a Career Fair you, the prospective employee/intern, would want to make a great impression and would therefore appear extra presentable, standing tall and confident. However, what I saw was kind of a mixed bag. Some people stood straight and tall, head hell high, shoulders back, while others were leaning to one side, head down, shoulders slouched, looking like they didn't want to be there. The impression that I got when looking at the differences between people was that those with better posture appeared more confident and assured of themselves in that environment. They were more likely to get their foot in the door somewhere than those with poor posture.

With that I headed back towards the gym to get a quick workout in, being extra mindful of my own posture and walk (though as previously mentioned, my fundaments, in particular these two, are already pretty good). Because I've spent time working on my posture and walk in the past, it felt quite natural to stand with my shoulders back, chest up, a little space between my legs, swaying of the shoulders like a male model/gunslinger, etc. If I were to be a little nit-picky about where I can improve, I should hold my head just a bit higher than I am currently and give more focus to better posture when sitting down (e.g., in class or eating lunch) as well. I couldn't really test for new reactions from other people since I've been doing this for a while, but when I think back to how I was treated before I fixed these two fundaments, there weren't as many approach invitations, eye contact/glances, and people moving out of my way compared to now.

When I got to the gym and started my workout, I decided to keep observing others' posture. The first thing I noticed was that the average posture level in the gym was better than the general student population, but there were still some guys with poor posture. It was interesting to see that some guys with bigger muscles and poor posture arguably looked less powerful than guys with smaller but still comparable muscles and better posture. After finishing my workout, I went to get a protein shake at an on campus shop and continued to observe before heading home. I wasn't able to go to the coffee shop or bookstore today, but before I end this post I want to leave off with probably my biggest overall observation of the day:

The people who were looking down at their phones looked less cool/interesting than those who kept their head up in solid posture. They also seemed less approachable, less interested in the their surroundings, and overall just less alive than those who weren't on their phones. I guess I should try to avoid doing the same when I'm out and about in public.

Okay. That's a wrap on Day 2. Next is eye contact.

--> Day 3
 

wazato

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Day 3: Eye Contact

Note: This post is actually from Thursday, but I have been having some trouble posting due to spam filters and having to wait for moderation approval.

More classes today. Not going to waste any time as the first of today's eye contact exchanges occurred right outside my apartment building. As I turned the corner to start walking towards campus, I ran into a group of three people coming from my left at 9 o'clock. In this group of two girls and one guy, one of the girls was looking my way as we approached each other. I had just gotten ready and left my place not 30 seconds ago, so I was a bit startled to be in this position already and quickly glanced away after I made eye contact with her. Obviously the goal for today is to hold eye contact, so not a great start, but I just shrugged it off and kept moving. On my way to a 9am class, I attempted to make contact with pretty much anyone who was walking by, to no avail.

I arrived at my class late and took a seat while a group presentation was going on for the first hour. Here is the next person that I exchanged eye contact with today. It was a girl who was among the group in the middle of presenting to the class. This one actually surprised me a bit. I
had not spoken to her or made eye contact or any other kind of nonverbal flirtation with her before now. She usually sits behind me in class and although I've yet to engage or acknowledge her yet, she is cute. Blonde, likes to wear short skirts, always rocking some kind of sorority sweater, hoodie, hat, etc. (Alpha Phi, I think; not involved in Greek Life myself). Also, in order to make eye contact with me while presenting in front of the class, it would end up looking very obvious for her, as I was seated pretty far to the right of the class and the presenters are all generally facing toward the middle. Based on where she was standing, her body was faced slightly in the opposite direction of me while facing the middle. So in order to make eye contact with me, she would have to either turn her head/body away from where everyone else was facing to look at me (unlikely), or glance out of the corner of her eyes. She did the latter. Multiples times. The presentation was boring, and in their group of 6, only one person would be talking for a long period of time, while the other five just stood there. So the game me and this girl played was me zoning out and not paying attention, then bringing my attention back to the presentation, and subsequently catching her looking at me out of the corner of her eyes. Or other times I'd be watching the presentation while another member of her group was talking, and I'd just stare at her, she'd kind of start to scan in my direction, match my eye contact, and then quickly glance back toward the middle. After two or three times doing this, she stopped and never looked in my direction again for the rest of the presentation. Unfortunately, I did not attempt to talk to her after this, but since she's a classmate I will see her again.

After class ended, I decided to go the the Campus Market to get a breakfast burrito, my goal of making contact with people of course still in mind. As I near the market, I passed by a food truck, and among those waiting in line for this food truck was a couple, or at least I assume it was a couple. Could just be a guy and girl who were friends. As I passed by, the girl made eye contact with me and followed my eyes for maybe an extra half second as I walked behind her and the guy she was with. They're both quiet and the dude was looking up at the menu, deciding what to get. But the girl definitely was staring at me a bit. Another surprise. Not sure how common it is to get girls openly staring at you when she's out with a man. I walked inside the market, realized that it was already past the time allowed to get a breakfast burrito, and so I walked back out. And on my way out, I had a couple of very brief eye contact exchanges. One guy who was coming in passing through the doors as I was going out. He glanced away to the side, as did I. Then a little bit ahead, as I walked past the outdoor seating surrounding the market, I noticed another cute blonde girl who was sitting down talking to a friend. She looked up at me and we made eye contact as I pass by, and then she broke eye contact by looking down and back towards the friend. I guess this counts as submissive? She did look partially down, and it's probably better to lean towards false positives in these instances lol.

I headed back home, made myself a little food, and then went back again to campus to do a little studying in the library before my afternoon lectures. I grabbed a coffee at the little cafe within the library and went up to the third floor to find a table. I take a seat, not having made eye contact with anyone here yet, and do some work. As previously mentioned in this journal, the library is always busy when I'm there, and there are always opportunities to meet girls that I'm not currently taking advantage of. Today was no different. At 2 pm, I had a zoom lecture, so I put on some airpods and watched on my laptop screen. I noticed a guy and a girl working on some kind of project or studying together one table over from me. They were both were standing up, moving around and chatting a lot and filling up an entire whiteboard with whatever it was they were working on. The girl was hot. I found myself staring at her quite a bit throughout my lecture, but she was very enraptured with her work with this guy. I didn't sweat it and returned focus back to my zoom call. Maybe thirty minutes passes and what happens next feels like my biggest fuckup of this newbie assignment so far.

A girl takes a seat with her laptop at my table. Not the girl who was putting in work, she's still writing away furiously on the whiteboard. This was some other girl, who I only noticed out of the corner of my eye, as I was actually pretty intensely focused on my zoom lecture at that point. I don't see it as an invitation or anything at the time. It's a large rectangular table that could fit about 8 people, and I was the only one using it. It would make sense that someone else would take a seat there too, as there was a lot of space. But here's the first hint that should've keyed me in to this girl's intentions. She sat relatively close to me, only two chairs away. She could've very easily taken the seat at the opposite end of the table. There was no one but me and her. She settles in and I turn towards her a little to really see what she looks like. Insanely cute. Maybe better than the hot girl one table over. She caught me looking and I attempt to make it seem like I was just looking in her general direction, then slowly drift back toward my laptop screen. I'm kind of lost in thought about the subject of my lecture, when all of a sudden I realize something huge. She doesn't have a bag or any stuff with her. She just had her laptop. I'm unfortunately not totally there yet with the conclusion of that observation, and get distracted by something happening in my lecture. Man, it hurts to type this next part out. Maybe a minute after she sat down, probably not even, she got up and walked away. I followed her with my eyes and notice that she went back to what was her original table, five feet away from my table, to the right and behind me just outside my field of vision. She has her bag and water bottle at that table, as well as three other girls (her friends, presumably) who were smiling at her softly about something. She took a seat and did not look back at all. All I got is the sight of the back of her head as the sad realization hit me. It's so obvious now thinking about it. She's at a table with her friends. Sees another table a few feet away with one guy sitting there. There's only one reason she would move to my table and sit close to me without bringing any of her stuff except her laptop, and then leaving after less than a minute when I don't engage her at all.

Sigh.

I power through the rest of my lecture. A guy and a girl together sit down at my table. I briefly get engaged by the girl asking to use the outlet i'm using to charge her laptop. Not sure if these two count for the assignment, but since I did technically make eye contact with both of them I'll count it. As my zoom call nears its end, the guy who was working with the hot girl one table over, goes to use the bathroom. The girl starts to relax and take a break, not going on her phone or anything. Just thinking. A minute or two goes by and she finally looks in my direction and I meet her eye contact. She glances away and back down toward her bag as she's retrieving something from it. I don't know why, but that felt really good after my earlier blunder. That's now nine (9) people. The zoom ends and I leave the library to head towards my final class of the day. As I'm walking through campus I make eye contact with one more girl as we walk past each other. She breaks by looking down. I'll take it.

Welp. Mistakes are to be learned from. Twas' an interesting Day 3. To anyone reading this, don't hesitate to give me your thoughts. Thanks.

--> Day 4
 
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