Calls & Texts what am I doing right and wrong.

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
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Location
South Florida
i dont think ive ever used that line at all. timing and semantics are important here. ive definitely used variations. For example:



Used to experiment with this as a first message on facebook and tinder. I would often use it as a throwaway statement just to measure interest before the real opener came. It would often confuse girls. How can you just notice someone online?

...and I tried it out during daygame for a bit. didnt like it either. never used it when texting a girl after getting a number.



In north american culture, this is being direct while being vague...by not including any sort of descriptor at all (wild, interesting, random, etc), you keep it sufficiently ambiguous to trigger curiosity. This goes near the start or can be included during qualy...

what i have been using:



Use this any time you wanna transition into a new topic in a calibrated way. Similar to "that reminds me." can be used when texting a girl after getting her number.



I also experiment with "i just realized something about you" thru text sometimes but it can be legitimately tricky to follow up with unless you truly have some sort of info about her thats really gonna blow her mind.

re: open loop

no need to drop an open loop then say "ill tell you later." drop the open loop and leave her on read for a bit to build tension [good way to open up an opportunity to call her as well]. after leaving her on read then close the open loop. good way to drive her nuts in a low effort way.

if she experiences very little reaction to an open loop and is not hounding you to close it, you dont have enough value yet.
fog all that stuff may work for online for example... like the "can i be honest with you", to prompt a response, then you follow up with the real opener, but as you explained context matters, this for daygame or cold approach is really not needed, specially nikko, look at how that intriguing stuff makes him come across weird, he does not need to do any of this... as you notice all of that needs a solid follow up, nikko is just using all that as a "routine" it will totally backfired cause women can smell is bs and not genuine then he comes across as a weirdo, specially when he can not follow up, (in previous text) will_v explained to him all of this in another posts... Nikko at this point does not need to get this fancy,..

This actually was his best opener:

Me: hey HB the salad girl, how is the train ride lol

^ whiteout the lol, just normal building up of something that happened in the interaction...
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,990
@Rakkum,

I guess it's both to some extent. In one of your articles you recommend treating new people as if they are old friends and in my experience it works with in cold approach too ... if you go in with that vibe, you trigger the corresponding emotions in her too. Maybe you have some suggestions on how to trigger the right emotions in a short span of time?

Nothing I can easily spell out in a quick forum post... a lot of this is down to calibration and emotional transference.

We have GC articles on making good first impressions and making the approach right. This is really just an area you need to consciously focus on, with a focus of, "I need my first impressions to be really strong, compelling, attractive, and warm. Girls need to be thrilled they met me, and eagerly awaiting their chance to come out on dates with me."

By long you mean more than 2-3 minutes (in your style and preferences)?

Well it depends.

If she's in a hurry or there's not a lot to talk about right away, then sure, 2-3 minutes max.

On the other hand, if you meet her seated somewhere, and the conversation connects or you get some instant emotions from her like she is relieved to be talking to you, you can go longer... 7, 8, 9, 10 minutes maybe.

But there is a point where you have said all there really is to say there, and it's time to change to a date. Either an instant date then and there, or take her contact details and follow up with her later.

Again, calibration will help you determine this. You need to be sensitive to the emotions this girl is sharing with you. Is she excited, compliant, eager? Keep talking to her! Is she smiling but she's not crazy into it? Take her contact details and plan to meet her later.

I think it's quite necessary when doing online game and perhaps guys are bringing those habits into their other texting as well..

That's an excellent point.

Yes, it's much more necessary with online.

If you are also cold approaching, it's a lot less necessary there. And can actually be counterproductive.


@Nicko,

haha I have kinda naturally kinda devaloped that style to soft close girls because hard closing immediately doesn’t work for me

Interesting. By soft close vs. hard close I think you mean you don't ask girls out in-person, instead just trading contacts? Then asking them out via messages?

So you can't say, "We should hang out sometime"? "Let's grab a bite or a drink sometime"?

Have you tried more specific in-person date invites? e.g., find out she likes ice cream, and tell her, "You know, there's this PHENOMENAL ice cream shop tucked away in a little nook on the other side of town. They have this old school awning and these amazing flavors. It's really good. We should go there this week or next week." Sometimes a specific date idea you oversell works wonders.

Correct me if im wrong, do u suggest that once i confirmed the date in person(she is green light) exchanged numbers shoot her an ice breaker and hard close on the date?

Ex. we chit chat in person nice vibe, naturally exchange numbers and set a date too met up( she doesn’t know her schedule( and continued our conversation and leave with a time constraint

ice breaker: ‘’hey HBgirl I notice something intriguing about u :)’’

girl responds ‘’hmmm what is it?’’

[ 24-36 hours later]

immediately close on the idea of the date?

‘’ill tell you in person its much more cozy in a coffee shop, what is ur schedule like ;)’’

Oh okay. No, that is not how I recommend doing date setup texts.

Check out this article, I have tons of examples for each type of texting -- check "The Scheduler":


I recommend four parts to your scheduling text: a greeting with her name, consideration for her, some new info about you, plus the schedule check.

e.g., you send your icebreaker just after meeting her (and I am with @Skills on not being a fan of that "intriguing!" line in your icebreakers there... use a clever one like Skills, or just something simple like "Great to make a new friend! -Nicko"), then sometime in the next day or two you send a message like this:

Hey Lola, it's Nicko! Hope you got those documents you needed in time and avoided the penalty! So, that little cafe I was headed to turned out to be even better than I heard it was. Really neat place. Anyway, what's your schedule like this week or next for that bite/drink?

In general I have found this works very well for me, and most guys I've had try it out has had it work very well for him too (only guys who seem to struggle with it are guys who aren't making great first impressions).

Keeps things simple, so you aren't trying to figure out too many clever things to say, and gets girls out onto dates.

Chase
 
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