Trailblazer... My man… Right now you’re basically standing in line at the buffet, staring at the shrimp cocktail, whispering to yourself: “Why doesn’t the shrimp notice me? Why does shrimp look tastier for Chad over there?” Meanwhile Chad is already back for round two, plate piled high, because Chad didn’t stand around negotiating shrimp’s priorities—he just grabbed a plate.
Except... You never ask to be her priority. That’s like asking the nightclub bouncer: “Sir, could you please respect my inner value and let me in?” The bouncer doesn’t care. He cares if you look like you belong inside.
You keep talking about “gambits.” Gambits are like learning magic tricks to impress your friends. Sure, the first time you pull a rabbit out of a hat, everyone claps. By the third time, they’re yawning and asking if you’ve got Wi-Fi.
So, look. Let me be very frank with you. It sounds like you’re worried that unless you’re her number one, then you’re a nobody. And that tells me the real issue: this isn’t about women at all, is it, Trailblazer. It’s about you needing to feel chosen.
You don’t become a woman’s priority by standing there with your bowl out, hoping she ladles you some affection. That’s scraps, and scraps never taste good. What actually works is when you’re already living like a full-course meal—busy, glowing, full of flavour—and she thinks, “Damn, how do I get a seat at his table?”
Sure. Validation feels like oxygen right now. It's a drop of water in the desert. But it's actually poison. Because the more you chase it, the less it shows up. Women can smell approval-hunting like dogs smell fear. You have to flip it around and make your own life rich enough that you are the prize, and suddenly she’s the one rearranging plans to get a piece of your time.
It’s not about begging for priority. It’s about being so centred, so lit up in your own lane, that she naturally re-prioritizes herself around you. That’s the fun paradox—you stop asking, and that’s when it happens. But for that to happen, you've also got to have the self-respect to walk away if you don't feel it.
And I've got some bad new for you right now... Most have to hit rock bottom before they get there. And then, just as they give up, suddenly women swarm all over them. But you've got one leg up on all those losers. You've got this forum of Don Juans and Casanovas rooting for you and aching to help you.
So read this very carefully—and what most of the others in this thread already said with other words: women don’t crush on guys because they mastered the “cold read gambit” or perfected the “tantric touch routine.” They crush on guys who walk into the room like they’re already the main course.
So stop asking how to be her priority. Be the guy whose presence makes her re-prioritize all by herself. Your most important question isn't how to be her prio. It's how do I become a self-accomplished man? Or ask us, we might have some pointers too. But to answer your question with one short sentence: You start focussing more on your own mission, and that mission cannot getting validation from anyone but yourself.
With that said. If you're in this more for the validation than sex, you better start reading Zan Perrion. But I warn you, he eats shrimps for breakfast, cuz he knows how to peel them!
