What does this text mean?

[Ree]

I had gone on three dates with a very fly girl,and everytime i tried to pull her she said next time,
on the third date she said,she cant come over but next time she can come for a sleepover.
the next date(the sleepover date) she flaked,
because she had a history of flaking,i deleted her number and moved on.

about a week later she sends me this long text.

"Hey so...Ive been thinking about you lately and I think I did you wrong and shit......buh i thought about it...like you are a good guy....awesome personality.....kind hearted every girl would want that...I would want that....the only thing that keeps me from dating you is I feel like you are too mature for me...you know...like I just turned 20 the other day....I still have some mistakes to make,i still have some whoring to do...and am sure you want someone to settle with...i wouldnt want to setlle ryna thats a fact, so my proposal,we be friends,the ride or die kind,so that i can be comfortable with you,so that I dont have any second thoughts anytime we plot a meeting ,well its up to you "

I didnt reply to this,to which she added

"well what do you think?
,dont woory,I wont ask you for favours,i wont lie to you,maybe we would click and it later leads to something"

the context to this is I had one time called her out for only ever texting me when she wanted a favour(usually loans she couldnt pay).


what do you guys think of the whole scenario

 

[Hue]

Basically she friend zoned you and acknowledged that you've been doing things that frame you as a provider. My quick take is she thought to use you for money once she decided you were a provider (and one that probably wants to settle down. WHICH could be complete bullshit and she's just playing the innocent, "I misunderstood" card).

Did you pay for all three of these dates? And you gave her a loan? Even it's the latter on its own that's a LOT of investment coming from you early on. I would never give a girl a loan unless I'd been seeing her for 3+ years AND I knew she was good for it - and even then... that's not a good frame for you in any way. That shows her that you're someone she can go to for money when she needs it. Surprised you gave into a demand like that so early on .

So then you called her out and she backs off from asking you for favors, and wants to be friends instead. Basically she's backing it up to an area where you feel less used as a potential lover because, you know, "you're only friends after all". But of course, she finishes up with "maybe it will lead to something later" so that you don't totally autoreject.

I would cut this girl off immediately, that's just me. Sounds like she's trying to play you.


Hue

 

[Ree]

Basically she friend zoned you and acknowledged that you've been doing things that frame you as a provider. My quick take is she thought to use you for money once she decided you were a provider (and one that probably wants to settle down. WHICH could be complete bullshit and she's just playing the innocent, "I misunderstood" card).

Did you pay for all three of these dates? And you gave her a loan? Even it's the latter on its own that's a LOT of investment coming from you early on. I would never give a girl a loan unless I'd been seeing her for 3+ years AND I knew she was good for it - and even then... that's not a good frame for you in any way. That shows her that you're someone she can go to for money when she needs it. Surprised you gave into a demand like that so early on .

So then you called her out and she backs off from asking you for favors, and wants to be friends instead. Basically she's backing it up to an area where you feel less used as a potential lover because, you know, "you're only friends after all". But of course, she finishes up with "maybe it will lead to something later" so that you don't totally autoreject.

I would cut this girl off immediately, that's just me. Sounds like she's trying to play you.


Hue

yeah,what you are saying makes sense, i made a bunch of blunders,what i would want to know is what is the motivation for this text?when i deleted her number,i did not expect her to ever come back,what exactly is she tryig to achieve?

 

[Ree]

Surprised you gave into a demand like that so early on

what can i say.its like i was possesed

 

[ulrich]

I think it means you gave away to much of a boyfriend vibe and she likes it but she wants to keep you in the back burner.

She is offering you to become an orbiter while she has a fun and sexy life so she can go back to you if she feels like getting serious and looking for a husband.

I would not recommend you to agree, if you say yes to that offer, chances are you will always be option #2.

If I were you I would say something like: “Sorry, I like girls who are sexually liberated because I am very sexual andI feel you are just not ready for it... perhaps when you are a little older”
Now she is the one who is not enough and she will try to frame her as sexually open which is chasing.

 

[Ree]

I think it means you gave away to much of a boyfriend vibe and she likes it but she wants to keep you in the back burner.

i think so too

 

[D_Smooth1900]

yeah,what you are saying makes sense, i made a bunch of blunders,what i would want to know is what is the motivation for this text?when i deleted her number,i did not expect her to ever come back,what exactly is she tryig to achieve?

She friend zoned you word of advice never go more then two dates unless it’s garentee

 

[Hue]

Yeah if you want to reply then what uriel say does a good job of flipping the script without validating the provider frame.

That said, it's not as though you can undo what's already been done, and your overall frame may be hard to reconstruct.

Like she might think you're trying to imply this is could be a sex-for-money esque relationship, which I doubt you want.

Or, it may just be overall incongruent. Not sure how well you ran the dates in presenting lover frames, sexual frames, etc. If she's seen you 3 times a text qualifying yourself as a sexual man won't make her feel any different about wanting to fuck you from an emotional standpoint.


Yeah, I think this is an attempt to keep you in her backpocket. In which case, I would just turn cheek.

 

[Ree]

Yeah if you want to reply then what uriel say does a good job of flipping the script without validating the provider frame.

That said, it's not as though you can undo what's already been done, and your overall frame may be hard to reconstruct.

Like she might think you're trying to imply this is could be a sex-for-money esque relationship, which I doubt you want.

Or, it may just be overall incongruent. Not sure how well you ran the dates in presenting lover frames, sexual frames, etc. If she's seen you 3 times a text qualifying yourself as a sexual man won't make her feel any different about wanting to fuck you from an emotional standpoint.


Yeah, I think this is an attempt to keep you in her backpocket. In which case, I would just turn cheek.

yeah,i had actually moved on,i just wanted a post mortem,i agree with you,i wont try to get her back,il just chalk up the lessons,and move on

 

[FunkMaster69]

You met the right girl at the wrong time. Not many people wanna settle down at the age of 20. But she thinks that if she was to do it with anyone, it would be you.

In a way, she's asking for an open relationship so that way she doesn't miss out on her 20s. If you just wanna get laid, then the answer is easy, be friends with benefits or just find a new gal. But if you have feelings, let her know that as a man, it would break your heart knowing that she'll be whoring around. Propose that you guys do all this whoring stuff together or maybe be like, "I'm okay with you whoring around with other women if it's something you need to do, as long as I'm the only man that your seeing."

But if she says no, move on because idk about you but it would kill me to know that my women is whoring around. It might hurt to break up, but the pain of knowing that she's sleeping around is much worse in my opinion. I wouldn't be able to handle it. If she's dedicated to whoring around tho, just delete and block because being friends with her will affect all your future relationships, especially if you have feelings. You'll literally become Ted and Robin or Ross and Rachel.

 

[Ree]

UPDATE so out of the blue the girl texts me,tells me she has a youtube channel,wishes me a merry christmas and asks me what i have been up to.

I just ignored the text figuring maybe she is just looking for subscribers

I have this problem of not knowing exactly whet to do when im trying to cut someone off but they keep communcating

 

[Velasco]

Block

 

[ulrich]

Just ignore. That was OK