what drugs are there that can give you confidence?

[132]

Okay I've been trying for moths to do my 1st approach - and still nothing.

I go out every single day for a few hours just going around and tell myself literally 100 times "I'm going to approach today" - and nothing.

I've went 10-15 times to diskos with some guy friends - and nothing.



I can't seem to approach a single girl. Even once I'm 1000% sure want me to approach. The other day this girl I really liked at the gym, I swear I caught her checking me out like 20 times and was making eye contact for 5-10 seconds and I still was petrified to just say hi. And I was the most certain I've ever been that she liked me.

Maybe it's become a habit of 21 years to never approach a girl and that's the Path of least resistance for me. So I'm so used to never approaching that even when I'm sure I won't get rejected - I'm still petrified.




I've tried alcohol - doesn't work. With s friend of mine drank a bottle of vodka then a bottle of whiskey and tequila shots. Literally till we lost the ability to walk or talk and passed out - still even that drunk I couldn't approach.


So my only options left are to start sleeping with prostitutes - I've found some elite ones that cost a grand and offer 10 different girls. So I figure spending 10 grand in 10 nights might give me some confidence.

Or try some drugs that give confidence - like medication you get prescribed or maybe even some illegal stuff. I've heard cocaine gives you confidence, also meth and extasy. Not sure if there are any others.





Do any of you have any experience that might help me? Any medication you can take to get over crippling approach anxiety or which of the illegal drugs gives you most confidence?

 

[girlsfollow]

you could try some valium but really you need to sort this by training - surely you can talk to a female receptionist at the gym about membership?

you need to just rethink your "approaches" as just going and talking to someone about say - asking the time or just asking about the classes that are good at the gym maybe would be an easy start? just ask something easy no other intentions

 

[Pato]

Ico, I highly discourage taking a drug in order to start approaching. If you start to take it just to start approaching, it can have other unintended side effects. I don't think taking a drug is the best solution at all. Even if there weren't any side effects, you would still be relying on it to do anything with women. Eventually you will stop taking it or will be off of it for some time, and there will be a situation in which you want to approach. But it's very possible that you will make excuses saying you aren't on the drug and you can't approach without it, and you will be right back to square one. You shouldn't rely on anything to approach, otherwise you risk ending up right where you started when you don't have the thing that you are relying on. I think you do need some coaching/training, at least somebody to push you in the right direction. I know you said you've tried going out with friends, but if you can get a friend or someone to push you to approach while you're out, then that could help.

I'm sure you've read some of the posts on approach anxiety, but you may want to reread them. There's a ton of stuff that can help. I do think it really is just your mindset that needs changing. You're psyching yourself out, you need to relax a bit while you're going out, and don't put so much pressure on yourself.

 

[BarryS1]

Maybe it's become a habit of 21 years to never approach a girl and that's the Path of least resistance for me. So I'm so used to never approaching that even when I'm sure I won't get rejected - I'm still petrified.

Was in your exact place in August man, I know what you are going through. I had extreme social anxiety and needed progression for even approaching a decent-looking girl by herself. If you've tried going out with friends and drinking alcohol, there's only one more way:

-Set a time limit for each store (ex: 5 min at Macy's until moving to the next one).

To be honest, I could not do my first daygame approach until I was tipsy. Fortunately for me, the feat was replaced by excitement after the 5th cold approach and alcohol was not needed!

You shouldn't rely on anything to approach, otherwise you risk ending up right where you started when you don't have the thing that you are relying on. I think you do need some coaching/training, at least somebody to push you in the right direction. I know you said you've tried going out with friends, but if you can get a friend or someone to push you to approach while you're out, then that could help.

I agree that alcohol/drugs are drastic and could act as a crutch later on. Chase makes a similar point in an article about folks doing indirect game and acquiring TONS of wrong data points in the beginning instead of going direct. Chase calls this "hiding the banana." I think alcohol/drugs can bring about the same thing - bad habits. You do not want to be one of those guys sticking to their habits of doing indirect approaches and saying, "If it works for me, then I'm sticking to it."

Try setting a time constraint and see what happens

 

[daviddreamer]

Just get an escort for like $200 what you need $1000 lol pussy ain't worth that much give me some of that money.

 

[trashKENNUT]

See a general psychologist, You might suffer anxiety problems, and they might help, but there's a lot of ways you can try first before meeting a psychologist.

1)Self help videos
2)Water
3)Meditation.

Consider this.

z@c+

 

[Doctor]

Perhaps take that money you were going to spend on drugs and escorts and do this with it instead.

Give it to one of your mates (a trustworthy one) on a night out with the instruction that he is to give it back at the end of the night. However, he has to pick out a bunch of girls for you to approach during the night. Whoever he likes, you don't get a choice, if he tells you to approach you go. If he tells you to approach a girl and you don't even go up and say "hi" then he gets to keep say £20 of the money at the end of the night for each failure to approach.

This little game helps me get over approach anxiety every time. Trust me when you are losing money with each excuse they become a lot harder to justify. Plus your mates will love playing this game!

At lest try it once before turning to more drastic measures. It might just work.

Good luck.

-Doctor

 

[Zoro]

See a general psychologist, You might suffer anxiety problems, and they might help, but there's a lot of ways you can try first before meeting a psychologist.

1)Self help videos
2)Water
3)Meditation.

Consider this.

z@c+

^ This

Your body produces a lot of chemicals on its own, dopamine, adrenaline, seratonine, blah blah blah.

What you need to do is step out of your comfort zone, little by little. This literally rewires your brain (don't quote me on that), yours is probably wired for risk aversion right now.

Pay your dues man, the easy way is the hard way. Take the high road and you'll grow as a man.

 

[girlsfollow]

Just get an escort for like $200 what you need $1000 lol pussy ain't worth that much give me some of that money.

there are far more useful things you could spend the money on - clothes, guides,rent for a cool place - dont go wasting it - pay for a call with chase or someone else on this site!

 

[132]

Perhaps take that money you were going to spend on drugs and escorts and do this with it instead.

Give it to one of your mates (a trustworthy one) on a night out with the instruction that he is to give it back at the end of the night. However, he has to pick out a bunch of girls for you to approach during the night. Whoever he likes, you don't get a choice, if he tells you to approach you go. If he tells you to approach a girl and you don't even go up and say "hi" then he gets to keep say £20 of the money at the end of the night for each failure to approach.

This little game helps me get over approach anxiety every time. Trust me when you are losing money with each excuse they become a lot harder to justify. Plus your mates will love playing this game!

At lest try it once before turning to more drastic measures. It might just work.

Good luck.

-Doctor

I have too much money to care even for 10 grand.. I talked about this in my first post. That while others were getting laid in highschool, I was working on starting a company and now at 21 It's quite successful.

So I'd have to give him 100 grand so it might motivate me to approach. So this game is out of the picture.

And I don't like the idea of showing of my money to get laid. Yes I sold my Porsche and got a Maserati (and now I'm deciding between a Ferrari or Lamborghini) but no one knows I have it. Or how much money I have. Only the closest 4-5 friends know that I do good and drive a Maserati.

But I'd never brag or show my money off to get girls. I've always been shy so even when I pull over in my car and I get anxious by people staring (I live in the poorest country in Europe and the average salary is 5000$ per year and I'm only 21 so people stare all the time).
Honestly If I go out on dates with a girl and see potential for relationship. I'd never tell her that I have a company or what kind of car I drive. I'd even wait a couple of months in an exclusive relationship before I'm comfortable telling her about my company or cars (I'll be definitely buying a ferrari or lambo soon).


The only reason I can talk about this now is because none of you knows who I am. And I can talk about it without anxiety. I can't talk about this to even my closest friends. Cause they don't understand how it feels. They all have no money and some of them no future but have had lots of success with girls. But none of them can tell me how they do it.

Btw I'm thinking I need new friends. Cause they see how much I struggle and that it's a problem for me for years. But none of them ever did help me by idk introducing me to some female friends of theirs or friends of the girls they were with or anything like that. And even when a week ago we were out and a girl called my so called friend I told him to tell her to bring a friend so we can hand out the 4 of us and he said "sorry bro, you take care of your self I'm not going to help you".

Yeah definitely I need to ditch my so called friends who are good friends in other aspects but wouldn't help me out with girls even if their lives depended on it.

there are far more useful things you could spend the money on - clothes, guides,rent for a cool place - dont go wasting it - pay for a call with chase or someone else on this site!

I have a cool place and cool clothes and have been working on my looks for the past year and a half - I am good looking after being the super fat kid so I have absolutely no confidence or courage to approach. And honestly I'd prefer giving the 10 grand to Chase for a weeks work of taking me out and helping me approach but I can't since live in Europe not the US.

 

[Doctor]

First of all, well done! I can only dream of having that kind of money and I am 26! I guess that is why that game works on me, I cannot afford to lose even £20 so I simply approach every girl.

I'm not sure how to help with your approach anxiety then and I admire your modesty about your money. However, when it comes to seduction studies have shown that conspicuous consumption (or 'flashing your money') helps quite a bit. So maybe next time you are in a bar you can splash some money around, it might get you out of your comfort zone a bit and also get girls approaching you! Go out alone if you are worried about showing your friends how rich you are, then it will be like this forum, pretty much anonymous.

 

[132]

First of all, well done! I can only dream of having that kind of money and I am 26! I guess that is why that game works on me, I cannot afford to lose even £20 so I simply approach every girl.

I'm not sure how to help with your approach anxiety then and I admire your modesty about your money. However, when it comes to seduction studies have shown that conspicuous consumption (or 'flashing your money') helps quite a bit. So maybe next time you are in a bar you can splash some money around, it might get you out of your comfort zone a bit and also get girls approaching you! Go out alone if you are worried about showing your friends how rich you are, then it will be like this forum, pretty much anonymous.

It's not about being modest per say. I feel anxious when I'm the center of attention. I even don't have parties for my birthday cause I feel weird that the people are there because of me and give me too much attention. Which is weird since I'm doing public speaking and holding seminars - teaching other young people (mostly university students) how to make money the way I do and how to start from scratch. Usually I speak in front of 250 people and I have no problems with it.
Cause it's kinda more impersonal. I don't see or interact with the people personally - I just go out and talk about business. And I know there is no rejection or anything scary, cause I know each and every one of the people came to hear what I have to say. They don't care how smooth or sexy I am. They only care to learn what I have to say and don't judge me on who I am. So public speaking is not a problem.


But put me in a club with a few new people all looking and me and talking about me and I get nervous and shy. Not to speak if I throw money around and everybody start looking at me or I become the center of attention..

I won't know what to say. At seminars I talk about business and money - I know all the things I have to say or can say. I can talk for hours with no problem.

But what the hell do I talk with a bunch of new people who want to talk to me cause I splash money? Honestly the whole don't talk much and let the girl do all the talking would work great for me in 1 on 1.

But if a bunch of people start talking to me and giving me attention I don't know what I'd do. I can't give a lecture on how to be rich in a club

 

[Doctor]

To be honest I know exactly where you are coming from here. I am good, in fact probably excellent at 1 on 1 conversations and I am able to teach classes with ease. But I also struggle with group conversations.

I feel there is some paradox between law of least effort and being involved in group interactions. I am sure there is an article somewhere about how to handle this but I haven't seen it. As it stands I try to put law of least effort into effect everywhere but when I do that in groups I just sort of get sidelined and ignored. Who knows?

In a club I am fine, I don't suffer anxiety when people are watching me any-more, and you start to realise people are far more worried about how they look than some stranger they don't know. When I go to a club I buy a drink and head straight to the dance floor where my comfort zone is. I have been told I am a very good dancer so I just do my thing for a bit and get comfortable. Any approach I do is usually in the breaks I have from dancing where I hit the smoking area to cool off and I usually try to keep this one on one due to the aforementioned problem with groups.

I don't know, if you are OK with dancing you could try my tactic out. Only because you are rich you could buy the whole club a round of drinks at the bar not just one for yourself, oh how I would love to be able to do that!

If you are too anxious to dance then I am not sure how you can get over this. That is quite extreme anxiety, I know, I have been there. I had to have therapy when I was a teenager because I was too shy to even make eye contact with anyone for a split second. It took me 10 years to come out of my shell but now I do OK, not great, but OK.

Maybe you can look into therapy if you are this anxious. I know it's taboo and 'not cool' but it really helped me and it usually turns out to be something simple in your past that you forgot about but is holding you back massively in your subconscious.

 

[Zoro]

I feel there is some paradox between law of least effort and being involved in group interactions. I am sure there is an article somewhere about how to handle this but I haven't seen it. As it stands I try to put law of least effort into effect everywhere but when I do that in groups I just sort of get sidelined and ignored. Who knows?

Hey Doc,

Check out this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/3-flavors-sexy-brooding-smooth-and-talkative-vibes

It basically explains why the law of least effort doesn't apply well to being the life of the party. Pay attention to the differences of the Smooth man to the Talkative man.

To be able to steal the show in a high energy environment using the law of least effort, I assume you need to be very magnetic (very attractive/very mysterious/famous) which usually is cultivated through experience being the talkative man.

Hope this helps you!

-Jw

 

[Chase]

Ico-

If you can't do it yourself, I'd strongly recommend hiring a coach - probably someone local (I think BadBoy operates out of Zagreb, or just look for a PUA lair in your town and ask them who's the best local guy to pay for training) - and just telling him that you are paying him to force you to approach. Coaches deal with guys who are paralyzed all the time, and when someone you view as an authority figure is telling you go and do it NOW, you will comply.

That will at least give you some reference points. You'll still have to grab your balls to go do it once your training is over and no one is forcing you to approach but yourself, but at least by that point you'll have discovered that women aren't razor-toothed she-monsters waiting to nip your head off at the neck, and getting yourself to walk up and say "hi" becomes much less of a monumental effort.

If you need a task to get yourself going right now, here's an assignment: go fail with 10 girls. Not have a successful interaction; not get laid; not even talk for 5 minutes... but, simply, go get 10 women to reject you. See how long it takes you to pile up 10 rejections, and what it does for your confidence. You might be surprised how energizing a rejection can be when you previously haven't even approached. If you need something specific to say, go up and ask 10 women if they think Oprah Winfrey is attractive. Never fails to get you a bizarre reaction.

I'd bet $100 your biggest problem is you're overthinking and trying to plan out an interaction from "Hello" to "I do!", and you just don't have the experience to do that. Start planning to go from "Hello" straight to rejection, and it gets much simpler.

Once you have 10 rejections, write a field report about it on the field reports board, and let us know how they all went.

Chase

 

[Eric]

I'd like to add to this topic and say that food is one of the most powerful stimulaters for some of the most powerful drugs (dopamine, serotonin, testosterone)

My article on weight loss deals a lot with it.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/weigh ... -your-mind

 

[johnydones]

If you want to go with drugs (i tried it before i started reading GC) there is only one choice, Ecstasy. About a month after i started reading GC i popped an ex just for fun and the amount of information i got that night was amazing , its an instant inner game pill. Everything looked so easy that night and i had many "it was so obvious" moments. And i only took half of it , im not big fan of having it take over control.

Note that if you take it on regular basis it will become a crutch , and you dont want that. If you really want use it 2-3 times for it to open your eyes and see what's possible.

Anyhow , i am based in Serbia so if you want drop a PM ill try to help you , of course not with drugs but some advises that helped me

 

[DesiBro]

The getting a coach idea is a very good one. I'm not sure how available PUA coaches are in Chisinau, but I guess you can always fly one in if money is no object, lol.

Edit: Zagreb? Croatia isn't quite the poorest country in Europe. It should be easier to find a coach. Also, Dubrovnik is full of tourists in the summer - knowing that you are talking to tourists who are never going to see you again might help you address your anxiety. My trip to Dubrovnik helped me so much last summer that I'll be back for a few days in July.

 

[132]

The getting a coach idea is a very good one. I'm not sure how available PUA coaches are in Chisinau, but I guess you can always fly one in if money is no object, lol.

Edit: Zagreb? Croatia isn't quite the poorest country in Europe. It should be easier to find a coach. Also, Dubrovnik is full of tourists in the summer - knowing that you are talking to tourists who are never going to see you again might help you address your anxiety. My trip to Dubrovnik helped me so much last summer that I'll be back for a few days in July.

I didn't say I live in Zagreb. I live in Sofia, Bulgaria - the poorest country in Europe .
Chase said there was someone who lived in Zagreb not sure who.


Also thanks to all the guys who offered help. But the thing is I know the process and everything on how to have a good conversation with a girl. The problem is approaching and saying the first words. After that It not a problem and I get out of my shell.

The only problem I have is going and saying "Hi" after that it's easy. Just exchange a couple of sentences and ask her to go get coffee some time (I know it doesn't matter what I say, cause here in Bulgaria if the girl likes you fundamentals you can even ask where she studies and ask her to go out and she'll say yes. No need of game or any such thing).
But I can't seem to just approach even when I'm certain the girls likes me. I guess it's just because I've never done it and it's hard-wired into my brain not to do it.

I just need to do my fist 5-10 approaches and I'll be good after that. Even a single interaction with a pretty girl that goes well and she agrees to go out with me. And I'll know it's possible. Cause right now I've never been with a girl or have had a girl who likes me (used to be super fat before dropping all the weight in 2013). So I have absolutely no reference points telling me that it is possible for a girl to like me and want to go out with me/ sleep with me.

Just need some kind of a push for those first 5-10 approaches. But no one who I know can or will help me.


I don't think meditation or phone coaching can do it. I'll have to figure out some kind of a push for the next time I see a girl checking me out or giving me an approach invitation.

 

[Doctor]

Forget it going well, forget any game for now.

Just do what Chase said, go out and get rejected. It's funny what this does to you. You soon realise rejections aren't anything bad. Your anxiety is probably a manufactured response to you putting yourself in a situation which you feel will end badly. Once you get rejected 10 times and realise that the world is still spinning and nobody even cares you will no longer be controlled by that learned response.

So go out and get rejected. Chase knows his stuff and this is what he recommends and I second it.

You may have heard about God mode in seduction, this is how you get it.

So go do it. You have to do it at some point unless you want to settle for less. So let's get to it!