What's it like to be really advanced / master in sex

[Spyce D]

I know this post might look funny but We know whats it like to be advanced pua / mpua by seeing the results , frs , infields etc

But , it's like like every other guy talks about being good in bed , how he can last for so long etc .

But I am really curious if there is such thing as mastery in sex , which like seduction is only done by very fewer people .

And if it is ...then whats the difference between being a master of sex vs doing great in sex ( which apparently lot of guys claim to be )

 

[Captain26]

This is actually a great question. Ive been thinking about it for a while because everyone seems able to give women orgasms and make them scream names. So what is the differenciating factor between good and great and Mastery.

 

[Spyce D]

This is actually a great question. Ive been thinking about it for a while because everyone seems able to give women orgasms and make them scream names. So what is the differenciating factor between good and great and Mastery.

Appreciate the support man .

I think we will know this if someone who is really advanced answers this question or if nobody ever does then we will have to find it ourselves .

We can Instinctively know the difference b/w bad sex , good sex and great sex . But , mastery in sex has really got my curiosity.

 

[Lantern]

My hunch is that 50% of this is sleeping with a woman who’s comfortable in her own body.

 

[Mr Mistah]

Cool idea.

Would be great to see a write-up/ get your views on this @Chase @Teevster @Skills

I.e tracking beginner vs intermediate vs master levels when it comes to sex

What are the markers for each?

What are the mindset shifts that you had across each level?

For example, do you believe in foreplay? Eating the girl out etc Or is the mindset "I am a Pimp I don't need to qualify myself too much"

Is getting mastery at sex much easier than getting mastery in pickup?

Are there plateaus?

Andrew Tate has this line where he says "If you're a young dude you don't know anything including how to fuck. You think you do but you don't. Atleast not until you're in your mid thirties."

Is there truth to this?

 

[Bob Z]

while there are surely people better at sex than others - i doubt there is a significant tangible benefit going from "great at sex" to "master at sex" besides maybe with super-high body count sensation seeking girls.

this question strikes me as a super male-brain type way of looking at things

maybe i'm a bit of a sap but for me what makes sex good is less the technique/skill and moreso the connection you have with the person: chemistry, being comfortable with each other, how much you're attracted to her in the first place. i'd much rather have sex with an 8 with a cool personality who just lays there and moans a bit than a 6.5 with lame personality who fucks like a porn star or knows every technique. i would assume that this is doubly the case for most women (assuming you have a baseline of competence).

 

[Skills]

I would recommend you get the book Sex God By Rose.... Is the go to book for the community on the subject....

Sex is huge cause we are selling sex, it helps with retention on my opinion... Odds higher to get repeat sex if you are good in bed...

 

[POB]

But I am really curious if there is such thing as mastery in sex,, which like seduction is only done by very fewer people .

My personal opinion (you don't have to agree with it)
Mastery in sex means you are getting maximum pleasure, she is getting maximum pleasure, and you are not going out of your way, or putting an excruciating ammount of physical or mental effort, to get you both there.

Being in top shape is kinda mandatory (and is not talked about as much as it should in my opinion)
Not because it will necessarely make you pump her harder, but because the combination of strenght and stamina is required to be consistent on her body for a long period of time, without gassing out.

(I've had women who needed 90+ minutes of non-stop stimuli (yes, in plural) untill they came...after I did that they were hooked and couldn't wait to get more).

When you put that together with the right sexual technique, the right mental stimulus and the right preparation and foreplay, you are in for a treat.

And if it is ...then whats the difference between being a master of sex vs doing great in sex ( which apparently lot of guys claim to be )

Basically the above.
Being great in sex means you have some of those things figured out, but not all.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

The last mentor I had, was that guy.

He was an established Dom in a pretty big BDSM community.

I'd seen the cat pull chicks out of nowhere. We'd be rolling up to random spots, Sushi here, gelato there, work conference, and broads would get into his presence and just change demeanor. On top of that, I wouldn't say he had zero discretion or filter, but he was a man that lived in his senses.

Keep in mind, I look like Bob Marley without the dreadlocks and he looks like Santa Claus at the Mall. On looks alone, I should be doing better on paper. We never went head to head, cause I wasn't really trying to go out like that. He was cool peeps from work though.

We get to rapping, and he drops all sorts of dimes. I wish I had a tape recorder tbh.

I wasn't about to ask for footage - but at one point he had 4 live ins (along with their kids) to serve him.
The "sisters" would bring in new chicks to try out the lifestyle. (Why did it break down? He fell in love with one of the chicks and her child - and he had to get rid of the rest)...

All that to say, mastery in sex, isn't really just the technical aspects of the "in and out", hardness, duration, athleticism, and positions - but an understanding of women, and the various pathways to bringing them into a sexual state of being... So the basic dynamic was that the pilot light was always "on", but he could turn up the flame at any point.

In a sense, they were always having sex with him, just by being around him. It's very similar to how chicks feel around abusers - that anything might set the guy off - but just in a sexual way not in a violence way.

Related to the pick up aspect - I basically observed that the "sex" started when the chicks saw him. So he had some sort of body language, eye contact, pheremones going.. That ends up looping back to when he'd get them home and bring them into the life.

The dude had basic encyclopedic knowledge of different things to do to a woman, different roles and frames - without using the PUA lingo.

WIA - How you pulling these broads?
Santa - I guess it's just my mojo.

He knew a lot of stuff. I would always cringe when he hit on waitresses, but he never seemed to pay attention to those sort of social scenarios, and didn't really notice body language.

Sort of a bull in a china shop, but a bit more refined. Also a "natural" in that he didn't really go to any sort of formality in pulling broads.

Before I ended the friendship, I'd basically uncovered a lot his personality and unconscious power games - which I didn't like - but chicks ate it up.

 

[Jan]

There is plenty of commonality between sex and seduction. Because, in fact, seduction is the first stage of sex. You can therefore take pretty much all of the important concepts of seduction (comfort, gradual moving forward, push-pull (put your cock in, pull it back , dominance, perseverance, empathy as in understanding what she needs and like, etc).

If you can apply these principles in seduction, applying them in sex is gonna work to.

Interestingly enough, technique also count. Technique is probably not enough on itself, but if you have everything else down to decent level, and you hit DAT SPOT, you can make it wonderful for her.

In my particular case, I discovered what works best is to be very focused on HER physical reactions, moaning, body position, is she moving or is she still, does she have relaxed body or tense, etc. If you focus on these signals, you can adjust the speed, touch (soft, hard), movement (more direct or more circular, etc). I pay attention to these signals and try to adjust my technique to give her maximum pleasure. One of the best mental tricks I apply with this is to slow down everything to the point where she is in the SEXUAL CHASE FRAME. She likes what she gets, and she wants more of it FASTER! It's actually hilarious, when she is so wet and horny, but you are still fingering her little too DELICATE for her current state and she starts BEGGING you to fuck her

Another thing which women love is when you don't focus on her but focus on your own desire. When you forget about everything else and just take her whatever way you like, and see her purely as a sexual object. This however, assumes that she is already comfortable with everything. She has to be certain that she wants to do that and above all else TRUST you.

Dominance. It's an interesting one. Women love to be dominated in bed, many say this pretty openly, but this is a tricky one. In my experience, they really enjoy being dominated but only when they feel other things first - comfort, trust, respect, maybe even love. I realized that this type of sex worked great for me in relationships or some Fwb arrangements, and but didn't work in ons/first time sex. It was simply because she wasn't trustful and comfortable enough for hardcore dominance. She was comfortable for regular, normal sex, but not ready for BDSM type of thing.

 

[Kezarin]

My personal opinion (you don't have to agree with it)
Mastery in sex means you are getting maximum pleasure, she is getting maximum pleasure, and you are not going out of your way, or putting an excruciating ammount of physical or mental effort, to get you both there.

Being in top shape is kinda mandatory (and is not talked about as much as it should in my opinion)
Not because it will necessarely make you pump her harder, but because the combination of strenght and stamina is required to be consistent on her body for a long period of time, without gassing out.

(I've had women who needed 90+ minutes of non-stop stimuli (yes, in plural) untill they came...after I did that they were hooked and couldn't wait to get more).

When you put that together with the right sexual techinique, the right mental stimulus and the right preparation and foreplay, you are in for a treat.

Basically the above.
Being great in sex means you have some of those things figured out, but not all.

One million times this.
I’m in first proper relationship (for a month now) , and I also want to emphasize how crucial your glute, quad and hamstring power + endurance is. If you don’t have enough strength your dick is gonna go soft when it matters the most halfway in (and won’t be enjoyable for you as your body cramps up and you run out of juice thinking “this shit is supposed to be ENJOYABLE?” which has happened a lot in the beginning for me, so worst case scenario get good at fingering and eating pussy.

That’s all I can contribute for now, can’t wait for others to chime in.

 

[AugusteLoves]

The last mentor I had, was that guy.

He was an established Dom in a pretty big BDSM community.

I'd seen the cat pull chicks out of nowhere. We'd be rolling up to random spots, Sushi here, gelato there, work conference, and broads would get into his presence and just change demeanor. On top of that, I wouldn't say he had zero discretion or filter, but he was a man that lived in his senses.

Keep in mind, I look like Bob Marley without the dreadlocks and he looks like Santa Claus at the Mall. On looks alone, I should be doing better on paper. We never went head to head, cause I wasn't really trying to go out like that. He was cool peeps from work though.

We get to rapping, and he drops all sorts of dimes. I wish I had a tape recorder tbh.

I wasn't about to ask for footage - but at one point he had 4 live ins (along with their kids) to serve him.
The "sisters" would bring in new chicks to try out the lifestyle. (Why did it break down? He fell in love with one of the chicks and her child - and he had to get rid of the rest)...

All that to say, mastery in sex, isn't really just the technical aspects of the "in and out", hardness, duration, athleticism, and positions - but an understanding of women, and the various pathways to bringing them into a sexual state of being... So the basic dynamic was that the pilot light was always "on", but he could turn up the flame at any point.

In a sense, they were always having sex with him, just by being around him. It's very similar to how chicks feel around abusers - that anything might set the guy off - but just in a sexual way not in a violence way.

Related to the pick up aspect - I basically observed that the "sex" started when the chicks saw him. So he had some sort of body language, eye contact, pheremones going.. That ends up looping back to when he'd get them home and bring them into the life.

The dude had basic encyclopedic knowledge of different things to do to a woman, different roles and frames - without using the PUA lingo.

WIA - How you pulling these broads?
Santa - I guess it's just my mojo.

He knew a lot of stuff. I would always cringe when he hit on waitresses, but he never seemed to pay attention to those sort of social scenarios, and didn't really notice body language.

Sort of a bull in a china shop, but a bit more refined. Also a "natural" in that he didn't really go to any sort of formality in pulling broads.

Before I ended the friendship, I'd basically uncovered a lot his personality and unconscious power games - which I didn't like - but chicks ate it up.

can you go on about these power games and how i can incorporate them into my own life

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

can you go on about these power games and how i can incorporate them into my own life

No, I can't.

 

[AugusteLoves]

No, I can't.

y not

 

[Ratata]

Even if you're not that great in bed, dominance goes a long way.

I was insecure, and for that reason I read up on how to last, and how to be good in bed. I lasted so long that my girls would become sore. Then one of them told me, "Hey, sometimes I wish you'd just ravage me, just take me for however short amount you need to cum, and then toss me aside." I took her up on that request, and - oh man - such a relief to not have to do all that work anymore. Best of all, she still loved me for it.

A side effect of getting good in bed is that, yes, women will be more dedicated to you. For good or bad, more than one girl has old me that, "I stayed longer in this relationship than I should have because you're so good in bed." Then there's also post break-up sex and general bootycalls. But really, after I got over the constant need to please women, and to last forever, sex has gotten a ton better - for me. And I'm still thankful to that one girl for telling me that it's possible.

Later on, I've seen guys such as Dr. Glover cover similar topics in his book No More Mr. Nice Guy:: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life. Can highly recommend. With that said, I'd still do the work and get great in bed - and even perhaps a bit too great - before you kick it back a notch or two. Too much of anything isn't good either.

 

[DonGately]

Agreed, being above-average in bed but being very dominant really rewires their sexual thoughts [and otherwise] of you. 90% of young women I've met are dying to be 'ravaged' as noted above, if not every single time obvs.

 

[AugusteLoves]

Agreed, being above-average in bed but being very dominant really rewires their sexual thoughts [and otherwise] of you. 90% of young women I've met are dying to be 'ravaged' as noted above, if not every single time obvs.

do you have any tips to last longer, i was doing well lasting over an hour earlier this year, and i think it was because i was watching a lot of porn and edging, i dont watch porn as much anymore and i cant last as long it sucks and is frustrating.

 

[DonGately]

All I know is the hotter the girl the harder it is to last longer. Biology always wins, lol.

 

[Mr Mistah]

Havr you ever heard of Aella?

Self-described "Mega Slut with a penchant for keeping spreadsheets and overanalyzing social trends and incentives"?

If you're active on X seducer circles then you've probably come across her profile before (@Aella_Girl)

She wrote a $9 guide on Substack that analyses what makes men good at sex called the "Good At Sex" series.

Wrote it after noting that while there's a whole lot of books, literature and videos on sex out there, its all shallow and repetitive.

You read one and you've read them all.

Too much focus on technique and biology (lick here, the spot is there, angle your dick like this)

Ditto the stuff on psychology and sexual tension dynamics
(she needs foreplay, stressing about her orgasming will make her less likely to orgasm etc)

So she set out to, in her own words, "develop theory as deep and as broad as redpill pickupartistry has, specifically targeted for hooking women on your penis."

It was an interesting read imo.
Got to see new perspectives on sex and she also challenged some deeply held beliefs in the seducer space eg Girls love rough, dominant sex

I respect the effort and rigour that went into this so I won't spoil it all for you.

But some of the questions answered in the guide include:

- Do girls like aware, calculative guys or primal guys lost in a trance during sex?

- Doggy or cowgirl? Which one do women prefer more?

- How much do girls hate quiet guys during sex?

- What percentage of women like rough, primal sex vs slow, caring, sensual sex?

- Do girls like it when you refer to yourself as Daddy in the bedroom? (I'll spoil this one for you - they don't. Apparently any man who must say "I am Daddy" is no true daddy.)

- How much do girls like nipple play? (Hint - a lot)

- Do girls like/dislike it when you ask them for feedback after sex? And what abour asking her what she's into before sex?

- What percentage of girls like being degraded in bed?

I can go on and on but basically she did a whole survey of sex acts that:

1. Men do a lot that women don't like
2. Men don't do all that much that women really like

Basically, a Supply vs Demand kind of chart but for sex acts. Quite eye opening

But the thing that made me pay for this guide is the part on "Men Are Werewolves"

She describes how most men look perfectly put together and collected in public but completely lose themselves when there's a naked girl in front of them.

They go primal/animalistic.
A 'tit - induced' frenzy she calls it.

Doesn't matter if it's a CEO or a member of the clergy. All men have this werewolf in them

But this werewolf can either be highly attractive or unattractive depending on how it is channeled.

She got into all of this but I'm curious to know if you can you figure out what she meant by this?

Somewhere along the way she also drops another gem as she's explaining how she's hooked up with guys in the past who had great technique, great stamina etc and yet the sex wasn't memorable.

"A guy will clearly have learned which buttons to press in which order (which absolutely does help don’t get me wrong) - but something about the sex doesn’t call to me, doesn’t make me want to bang down his door at 4 am in horny desperation."

The missing ingredient?

*Drum rolls*

Frame Control

Fucking Frame Control

She did a whole breakdown on her persepective of how important frame control is in giving girls the kind of sex that makes them obsessed with you.

And if I was to give a takeaway from this specific part of the series is that;

The difference between a bad fuck and a good fuck is technique, stamina and a good understanding of female anatomy.

But the difference between a good fuck and an excellent, memorable, Nobel Prize-winning fuck... is Frame Control.

I figured what Aella was getting at here is the age old dicktum (haha) that the biggest female sex organ is her mind.

I'll pause there for now but I think you should check out the series. It has snippets which you can read and decide if it's worth paying the full $9 or nah.

*Not a sponsored post btw.
Aella is on the spectrum and also a high n count escort. This mix means her break downs and analyses on matters sex are informed and precise - quite rare if you ask me.

 

[Mr Mistah]

Frame Control