When a girl seeks validation from you by sending you a cute picture, should you reward her by validation? or should you avoid giving her validation?

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

So recently, I received a text where I teased a girl about never wearing black clothes. A few days later, I got a picture of her in a black dress while out at a club saying "See? I do wear black sometimes" with a heart smiley emoticon. I just teased her a little bit saying, "How are you gonna heart smiley your own picture you dork? " And she replied like "omg!! hahah it was a mistake" with like 5 laughing emojis.

But I had a question regarding this.

Obviously, she wants to show me that she does wear black dresses and look sexy. And on one hand I know that I should 'reward her' saying 'aww that looks great!" or something like that. But I also think I shouldn't give her validation and tease her a bit instead to keep her chasing for validation.

Can someone shine some insights on this?

 

[ulrich]

It is an attainability question.

Do you think you are currently more attainable or unattainable to her?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

So recently, I received a text where I teased a girl about never wearing black clothes. A few days later, I got a picture of her in a black dress while out at a club saying "See? I do wear black sometimes" with a heart smiley emoticon. I just teased her a little bit saying, "How are you gonna heart smiley your own picture you dork? " And she replied like "omg!! hahah it was a mistake" with like 5 laughing emojis.

But I had a question regarding this.

Obviously, she wants to show me that she does wear black dresses and look sexy. And on one hand I know that I should 'reward her' saying 'aww that looks great!" or something like that. But I also think I shouldn't give her validation and tease her a bit instead to keep her chasing for validation.

Can someone shine some insights on this?

If you reward her now, will that hurt your chances later? Will she see you as an orbiter? Will she see you as a potential boyfriend?

If you punish her now/withhold validation, will that hurt your chances later? Will she see you as jerk? Or will that just keep the banter going and increase attraction?

If you say nothing, will she keep trying?
If you are dismissive, will she be downcast?

Are you trying to control her future actions, her impression of you, with a text message?

There's a lot going on with these little text battles that new guys find themselves in (more like put themselves in)

When I get something like this, my thought process is

• I made such an impression on her that she's thinking about me
• She's doing things that will please me
• She's taking the time to text me.

Do I want to send her a clever message to validate/devalidate?

No. I want her to come see me, now. I escalate.

Whenever normal guys/new guys to pickup - are presented with text messages, they want to create some Hollywood Rom Com banter over text. I see this all the time on the various forums.

A veteran wants to bang. And not necessarily because he wants to fuck. But because sex is a good way to connect to a girl and get her hooked.

The newb wants to bang too, but he's not focused. He wants to juggle 7 balls in the air and ride a unicycle.

That said, 1) having her come over might not be convenient for you, 2) you don't want to create a pattern where she shows you some flesh and expects an invite.

Those factors in mind, my reply text will be something like

• "You clean up so well for me. I got a surprise for you"
• "I'm sure you have something....a little s@#%^&r (bait, she thinks sexier, but I might say smarter or sassier) [Overall, I like misdirection and playing with narratives]
• "You coming over now? I gotta these other broads out of here first.."

So instead of validating/devalidating, the subtext is validation of her, but I'm ESCALATING plus showing some personality.

My general belief after dealing with girls for all these years, She doesn't just want "likes" and "hearts", she wants to feel WANTED by a man that SHE WANTS. It's not enough to be wanted, does she desire the man who wants her.

She wants to feel sexy, she wants that feeling of mutual desire. And if she's sending you the pic, versus putting it up on Instagram, she's telling you something about who you are in her life. Focus on that message and less on tricks.

There's a difference between having Game and playing games.

WIA

 

[Velasco]

So recently, I received a text where I teased a girl about never wearing black clothes. A few days later, I got a picture of her in a black dress while out at a club saying "See? I do wear black sometimes" with a heart smiley emoticon. I just teased her a little bit saying, "How are you gonna heart smiley your own picture you dork? " And she replied like "omg!! hahah it was a mistake" with like 5 laughing emojis.

But I had a question regarding this.

Obviously, she wants to show me that she does wear black dresses and look sexy. And on one hand I know that I should 'reward her' saying 'aww that looks great!" or something like that. But I also think I shouldn't give her validation and tease her a bit instead to keep her chasing for validation.

Tease about never wearing black clothes (A1) -> Pic of her wearing black clothes (A2) -> Tease about 'liking' her own pic (Disqualify+A1) -> Qualifying herself (more A2)

Too late now, but the move was more disqualifying+A1

My suggestion in response to her "omg!! hahaha it was a mistake XD XD XD XD XD !"

A1 (DHV) -> A2 (Female To Male Interest) -> disqualify (her or himself) -> Rinse repeat.

Repeat this loop until A2 is through the roof -> qualify her [opportunity for her to prove she's worthy] -> A3 (Male to Female Interest).

-> "compliance is not giving women what they want".

After she gives you A2 (Female to Male Interest) what is she expecting? A3 (Male to Female Interest), right?

By disqualifying her or yourself (saying or doing anything that might indicate you're not trying to fuck her (pushing her off, kiss denial, walking away, unavailable for a sexual encounter (revealing (jokingly) that you're married/gay), making a false impression/negative cold read of her based on whatever she says, or simply not escalating at any signs of interest from her) after A2, you are not giving her what she wants/expects. Causing her follow up A2 to your A1, to be stronger.

Edit: here's A2daMir text game. Who does the "A1-A2-Disqualify" loop to perfection (note the part I bolded)

anyway, i go to the gym, take care of some shit, go home shower and pass out on the couch watching college football...i woke up around 7, look at my phone and i had 3 text messages (9 in total, but 3 from these 2 new chicks)

Text1 from HB1: heyy hope your gym went well call me when you get this (5:21pm)
Text2 from HB1: oh i c how it is (5:29pm)
Text3 from HB2: (I didn't have her number, so i didn't know who it was at first but it said) is soo pissed off u seemed like a good guy

WTF!?!? i take a nap and now all of this crap?

I text HB1: jeez i was taking a power nap and now you hate me, im scared now to sleep a full 8 hours next to you
HB1: lol heyyyy whats up (power of humor...i swear guys, as i keep saying, if you can make a chick laugh, you can make her moan...)
Me: confused
HB1: what?
Me: what did you mean I C HOW IT IS?
HB1: i thought you were tired of me already
(she called, i ignored her call)
Me: bad reception @ home text me, i'll pay you $2 for the texts you send dont worry
HB1: noooo its just easier to talk
Me: yeah hey your leaving at 10 right, its 7 now u chicks better start dressing up 20 diff things n finally pick something at 9:59
HB1: lol what time do you leave?
Me: honestly i dont know if i'll be coming yet (which was BS, i mean granted i had other plans for the night, but i was planning on seeing her, but i told her i might now show up to keep her in suspense
HB1: i hate you
Me: hence y im not coming (i dont know why i said this one...i was playing around with her, but now i made it serious....mistake on my behalf i think)
HB1: im kiddin dont be silly (7:32pm)
HB1: (7:44pm) u there?
Me: yeah y?
HB1: u didnt return my text i thought your mad at me
MeL send me a pic (i just wanted to change the subject, and have her say NO i wont send a pic and i look disgusting now blah blah blah...like they all fucking say, and then i can bust her balls on it, but...)
HB1: myspace add me
Me: first of all i dont have myspace second of all i dont want the pics the whole world can see, i want a pic of you right now
HB1: i look gross (I kid you not she said that, i swear chicks are like robots, T1 T2 T3 Tn...once you figure out their model then you got them figured out)
Me: ok :/
HB1: u mad?
Me: heartbroken, but its cool i'll wear long sleeve shirt tonight so you cant see my arms (7:56pm)
HB1: (8:02pm) pic attachment
HB1: (8:03pm) pic attachment
HB1: (8:05pm) pic attachment

(she sent 3 pics, damn...she looked amazing, i actually felt a rush of energy through my balls when i saw one of them, her taking a picture in the bathroom with blue jeans, and black bra, thats it, and her BB piercing)
Me: ewwww you look gross
HB1: really?
Me: no and if you pretend one more time that you dont know ur hot, i will personally come to the club tonight and spank u. and for your punishment i'll leave (i think she got the punchline, and i hope you guys did too, like most of my lines, not only i try to be funny, but i also try to show my confidence and dominance as well as the prize factor...in this case i tell her that if she does something, i'll come spank her (one would think the spank is the punishment) but i follow up with "and for your punishment" so its a mixture of humor, confidence and a touch of sexual flirt)
HB1: lmao
Me: hey you be good, i gotta go take shower n stuff text me when ur @ da club
HB1: k xoxox
Me: save the kisses for tonight in person
HB1: okie

"This example illustrates a common A2daMIR tactic: bring a girl to the point of auto-rejection, then bring her back out of it."

Tactics Tuesdays: A2daMIR-Style Banter and Frame Control

Natural and nightclub bouncer, A2daMIR wielded a unique and masterful approach to seduction... Focused on turning the tables on girls. One of the all-time best posters on the now-defunct mASF seduction forum was a guy named A2daMIR. A2daMIR was a Boston-based nightclub bouncer who routinely...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Skills]

Tell her damm you woke up optimus prime, brb let me get the lotion.. then tell her you busted 3.4 times could not make it to 4

 

[BigPapa]

Tell her damm you woke up optimus prime, brb let me get the lotion.. then tell her you busted 3.4 times could not make it to 4

depends on the girl obviously , with some of them this would work perfectly , it is like a Donald trump move haha

 

[Skills]

depends on the girl obviously , with some of them this would work perfectly , it is like a Donald trump move haha

I do it with all the girls, grandmaster style

 

[BigPapa]

I do it with all the girls, grandmaster style

Then you should call this gambit “ the Donald J Trump move “ hahaha

 

[Velasco]

So recently, I received a text where I teased a girl about never wearing black clothes. A few days later, I got a picture of her in a black dress while out at a club saying "See? I do wear black sometimes" with a heart smiley emoticon

Those factors in mind, my reply text will be something like

• "You clean up so well for me. I got a surprise for you"
• "I'm sure you have something....a little s@#%^&r (bait, she thinks sexier, but I might say smarter or sassier) [Overall, I like misdirection and playing with narratives]
• "You coming over now? I gotta these other broads out of here first.."

Tell her damm you woke up optimus prime, brb let me get the lotion.. then tell her you busted 3.4 times could not make it to 4

Context: She was at the club, and in a certain headspace when she sent that pic. Meaning she'd likely ignore the invite to go back to DaVinci's place (setting the "chasing her" frame). Skills' response would make her laugh. Which is what Davinci's response accomplished. Only he didn't validate her.

 

[BigPapa]

Context: She was at the club, and in a certain headspace when she sent that pic. Meaning she'd likely ignore the invite to go back to DaVinci's place (setting the "chasing her" frame). Skills' response would make her laugh. Which is what Davinci's response accomplished. Only he didn't validate her.

so if she was at the club what ?

I think that wia summarized it very well with “ there is a difference between playing games , and playing the game “

you are a Scorpio dude velasco , for you everything is about playing games haha

 

[Velasco]

so if she was at the club what ?

It means she got dressed, makeup, all that shit because she wants to party/hang with friends for a bit (like first half of night shit...skills knows what I'm talking about). So at that moment, when she sees that "u coming over now?" text, its in direct conflict with her goals for the night. Depends of course how she responds, but I'm talking percentages.

you are a Scorpio dude velasco , for you everything is about playing games haha

you don't need to remind me. My girl tells me this all the time.....lol

 

[BigPapa]

It means she got dressed, makeup, all that shit because she wants to party/hang with friends for a bit (like first half of night shit...skills knows what I'm talking about). So at that moment, when she sees that "u coming over now?" text, its in direct conflict with her goals for the night. Depends of course how she responds, but I'm talking percentages.

telling her to come now would have been a mistake , but telling her to come later would have been better , and it would have had a good chance to succeed . Maybe the best way would have been to “ grab something to eat “ after the club , as everyone does it , and then back to the crib

you don't need to remind me. My girl tells me this all the time.....lol

It is funny how women take literally this zodiac thing , most likely because their personality is so fluid that sometimes they do not know what to do , so they read the zodiac and start applying what it says there . I am talking now with a girl that is a Scorpio , and realized how easily you can frame it sexually .

her : “ scorpios are bitches on the outside , but very lovable on the inside “
Me : maybe this happens because you just want to be sure that the guy really likes you so you test his interest in you by playing hard to get, and secretly hope that he will tame you
Her : maybe
Me : or maybe it just means that you have bdms fetishes Haha
Her : maybe hahahahaa