Wht Sexualy Frame an interaction?

[Witcher]

Hey everyone,

I was reviewing this article from Ricardus, where he summarized the 80/20 of what we should be actively doing during a seduction.

I’m going to propose a more simple system, and then break it down for you:
1. Frame the interaction as sexual
2. Build comfort and trust with her
3. Escalate logistically and physically

Have a plan, both for the conversation and for logistics, and then be your natural self within that framework… and good things are bound to happen.

I don't have a problem with the last 2 points. However, I have a little confusion for the 1st one, Frame the interaction as sexual. I was thinking, why are we advised to actively do that? Like, If the girl agreed and came on a date with a man, does it not automatically imply that the interaction is sexual or at least a romantic one?

Would really want your thoughts on this matter

Thanks

 

[hotsauce]

maybe it's even before a date. or
i think just because two ppl are on a date it's not auto sexual or romantic and the guy still has some work to do.

sexual framing makes things glide better. if one is able to sexualize the interaction in a positive way the second step is much more powerful than an interaction that isn't sexualized. it's good for screening too.

this makes it easier to move onto step numero tres

 

[jonjames]

Have you seen inception? They would put ideas in people’s dreams. Because if someone came up on something on their own they believe it.

I’m not 100% sure what sexual frames are, but I understand frames. I’m guessing you want her to come to the conclusion she wants to have sex with you. But you can’t tell her that directly. You want to communicate it indirectly so that she believes it is her idea. That’s the point of framing. You tell someone what reality is. Some will attack your frame. But if you can convey your frame and own it the other person will likely accept your frame as reality.

With sex I have a light hearted view of sex. This comes through in what I say and do. In this way I have her mind going towards sex without directly telling her to do so. I assume that would be setting a sexual frame. I do think that’s important.

 

[Glow]

even if the date insinuates something romantic, or sexual - which will dependt a lot from the encounter before the date, it presumeably means little on your level. Just a starting point that you can use if you know what your doing cause of the state she will presumably have when starting the date. But mood of the day etc is just as influential. More advanced people could use it cause they know where she will be and work from there. As you grow with seduction you will be able to too.

But if bob, ask out a girl on his work after a few glances, a neutral guy with not much vibe, a bit boring to speak too, sweet but supplicating to her from nervousness, maybe passionately talking about subjects but is a bit like a scared cat in the connection, the romanticism is cut. No sexual impact at all. the girl is influenced by what she feels and experiences with you. With bob she will stall even if she was in good energies conducive to romantic or sexual things coming to the date.

Dont be bob.

 

[Witcher]

@Bacchus @Glow @jonjames Thanks for your insights.

Glow,
I'm with you that it depends on the person. I'm now far from being a bob but still working my way to the person in your first paragraph. So this is why I'm asking myself if I should now focus on learning this skill or if I should postpone that when I'm at a higher skill level. Also, I'm thinking how much my results will be different if I actively use sexual framing?

Bacchus,
I saw a big change in how girls perceived me by doing what you advise, which is adapting my behavior, especially when I realized that girls didn't see me the way I thought. However I would want to get better at this, any article or list of behavior I should focus on more? I'm thinking of Racardus 9 Secrets of Being a Sexual Man.

Also, I know what resource would you recommend for a solid understanding of the concept of frames?

Thanks again guys, very insightful answers.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Witcher,

Framing the interaction as being sexual from the get go is very important to let her know without ambiguity what this is about. I would say it's a big part of taking a date to a happy conclusion, as opposed to, for instance, ending in the friend zone.

Like, If the girl agreed and came on a date with a man, does it not automatically imply that the interaction is sexual or at least a romantic one?

No, not at all. Consider:

• You have guys going on dates and acting like she's a friend. They end up being viewed as such.
• You have guys going on dates and going out of their way to make her laugh. They end up being viewed as entertainers. Yes, she will seek more dates from such a man, but for the wrong reason.
• You have guys going on dates and acting like she's the prize (e.g. putting her on a pedestal). They end up being viewed as lower status than hers.

I like Chase's expression "don't hide the banana". In the first two cases above, this is just what the guys are doing: hiding the banana. It is important that you let her know that there is a banana, and you're not hiding it. This is what you do with a sexual frame.

A way to do that is by using a sexy innuendo. It's a light, sexy humor where sex is implied. "Oh, I have a dog, too. He doesn't have legs but he has two big rear wheels..."

You can also use your sexiest voice tone. This is normally unmistakable.

And you can use touch. You know that I am big on touching. I start slow and "incidental", then increase the pressure and go "deliberate" touching. Then sexual. (Yes, during the date). If the comfort is there, I sometimes go all the way to cupping her boobs and caressing her ass while still on the date venue. The key is to wrap it with a sexy smile and a comment such as "wow there is a lot of people inside here!"

This is exactly what I did in this old LR of mine.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Witcher]

Thanks, @Seppuku for the reply and even more for le lay report, a good one that I missed.

One thing is that I noticed that I have been rather clumsy in what I called sexual framing. The one I wanted to refer to in the question was the one that leans more into sexual prizing, where you tell verbally to the girl that you think women are sexual begins, that you are a sexual beign, that you are good in bed, and that you are non-judgmental about sex.

No, not at all. Consider:

• You have guys going on dates and acting like she's a friend. They end up being viewed as such.
• You have guys going on dates and going out of their way to make her laugh. They end up being viewed as entertainers. Yes, she will seek more dates from such a man, but for the wrong reason.
• You have guys going on dates and acting like she's the prize (e.g. putting her on a pedestal). They end up being viewed as lower status than hers.

However I 'am complete with you about the example of the three guys. The perfect candidate for friendzone and long dating process. However, I question I keep asking my self about this and it relates to attainability. Like, how can you adapt the opposite of the described behavior and not risking to be seen as boring or intimidating?

Like speaking for myself. For a year or more from now, I experience the reverse problem than the three guys (before it was the opposite). If I ask a girl out now, I can see that she is expecting me to be sexual and can be closed off because of that, or even flake. Also, the number of girls who are intimidated by me or consider me an asshole after a meeting is increasing.

That was why I was asking myself why I need to do it actively. Even more, many times girls are expecting me to be sexual and escalate and since I was new to this projection, I didn't notice and kept with my old process. And then you know what's next auto rejection and ghosting.

I would be curious to know how you calibrate the two aspects.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey @Witcher,

One thing is that I noticed that I have been rather clumsy in what I called sexual framing. The one I wanted to refer to in the question was the one that leans more into sexual prizing, where you tell verbally to the girl that you think women are sexual begins, that you are a sexual beign, that you are good in bed, and that you are non-judgmental about sex.

Ok I got what you mean. I see many guys on this forum mentioning about "sex talk" with their girl on the date, but who knows if they are doing it right. It has the potential of firing back if done wrong (by creeping her out).

The guy who is the specialist of sexual prizing on this forum is Alek (@Teevster). Read all his posts on GC. He also posted a youtube video on this post. Check what Cunningham is doing - it is extremely powerful. It's sexual prizing in action. It is evident that the two girls are getting turned on as he speaks, even the one who is initially defensive. If you want to do sexual prizing, you must be able to achieve something like this.

So yes, if you can master that, you will be good. Just remember, though, that there are also other approaches to sexually frame an interaction, and I mentioned the ones I use. One way or another, this is something you should always aim to do in your dates.

However, I question I keep asking my self about this and it relates to attainability. Like, how can you adapt the opposite of the described behavior and not risking to be seen as boring or intimidating?

By "opposite behavior", are you saying that you disqualify yourself as "a friend", an entertainer, etc... and then she views you as less attainable?

In any case, yeah, you should try to keep your attainability at the right level. What you describe (going from nice guy to asshole) is not uncommon. But it is a nice problem to have. You are better off coming across as an asshole than as a nice guy.

Once you became aware of it, you can start the real work on calibration. Be "sort of" friends like, but just the right amount. Or be a little funny, not too much, just the right amount. Mostly Lover, a little bit Provider, just the right amount. Etc... This is already one foot in Advanced territory in my opinion.

The most important is, she should be with you mostly because she views you as sexually exciting. From what you describe below, it seems it's already the case.

That was why I was asking myself why I need to do it actively. Even more, many times girls are expecting me to be sexual and escalate and since I was new to this projection, I didn't notice and kept with my old process. And then you know what's next auto rejection and ghosting.

Okay. If she is expecting you to be sexual and escalate, great, job done, you don't have to actively do anything except to isolate her and escalate . As you have learned, that moment won't last because of autorejection and ghosting, so you better be ready.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Witcher]

@Seppuku thanks for the carifications

By "opposite behavior", are you saying that you disqualify yourself as "a friend", an entertainer, etc... and then she views you as less attainable?

Yes a little bit in these lines. Like how can I be attainable if I'm dead serious a

Ok I got what you mean. I see many guys on this forum mentioning about "sex talk" with their girl on the date, but who knows if they are doing it right. It has the potential of firing back if done wrong (by creeping her out).

The guy who is the specialist of sexual prizing on this forum is Alek (@Teevster). Read all his posts on GC. He also posted a youtube video on this post. Check what Cunningham is doing - it is extremely powerful. It's sexual prizing in action. It is evident that the two girls are getting turned on as he speaks, even the one who is initially defensive. If you want to do sexual prizing, you must be able to achieve something like this.

So yes, if you can master that, you will be good. Just remember, though, that there are also other approaches to sexually frame an interaction, and I mentioned the ones I use. One way or another, this is something you should always aim to do in your dates.

For the reasons that you mentioned, I think that Sex Talk will have to wait until I get better on the fundamental stuff. Plus, reading the articles it seems to be more tailored to night-game which I don't do for now. On the other hand, and contrary to Sex Talk where @Teevster wrote a lot of comprehensive content I don't seem to find good educational resources for the other approaches to sexual framing you listed, so I would love to know what are your recommended articles/books to study in addition to actual field practice.

Once you became aware of it, you can start the real work on calibration. Be "sort of" friends like, but just the right amount. Or be a little funny, not too much, just the right amount. Mostly Lover, a little bit Provider, just the right amount. Etc... This is already one foot in Advanced territory in my opinion.

Okay. If she is expecting you to be sexual and escalate, great, job done, you don't have to actively do anything except to isolate her and escalate . As you have learned, that moment won't last because of auto rejection and ghosting, so you better be ready.

Reading this I realize that I'm in the stage of re-calibration, I used to be not aggressive and too attainable, now it's kind of the opposite. The change came a little bit faster even if I still have a lot of work to do on my Sexual/Lover vide.

Cheers

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Witcher,

Yes a little bit in these lines. Like how can I be attainable if I'm dead serious a

Not being an entertainer doesn't mean you can't use some humor. I use humor a lot - calibrated, sexy humor. What you don't want is to go out of your way to make her laugh, for instance. That would be "try hard" and put her on the pedestal, plus, she would start to view you as "the little funny guy". Not good.

So go ahead and use some calibrated dose of humor if you want.

For the reasons that you mentioned, I think that Sex Talk will have to wait until I get better on the fundamental stuff. Plus, reading the articles it seems to be more tailored to night-game which I don't do for now.

I don't see why you couldn't use sexual prizing during the day as well. Perhaps even better, since the girls are less guarded.

I think all I ever read on the subject of sexual framing was here, in Girls Chase, then trying it and see what works. Just go back in the old articles, 2011 to 2015. Not sure about after since I stopped reading regularly after that.

But it's really nothing complicated. It's about making sure that there is a clear sexual connotation so that she can't mistake your intention. You don't need much. Put some sexy undertones in your voice. Be a little more daring in your touch. Use a little sexy humor. Etc...