Why Are Women With "Mostly" Male Friends Always Toxic

[Teevster]

I've known a few that seem to fit that mold, sexually they don't respond all that well to just the typical masculine frame (since they probably feel a bit like a dude anyway), and tend to be most open to either guys who have a more ambiguous, self-absorbed kind of confidence, or exotic dudes.

The main problem is that they don't really seem to understand how to maneuver a man psychologically, but instead will get aggressive and competitive in conflict. And because they are female, their masculine personality clashes with their biology which causes a lot of drama mixed with rough/kinky sex.

They can do well in a relationship as long as they have clear rules and are given plenty of room to be semi-independent, but they won't be as nurturing as a guy might want.

BPD girls usually fall for extravagant guys, which oftentimes do not fall into the typical masculine category.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

I used to know a good chunk of girls just like this with more or less, only male friends. Years later, all of them have been diagnosed with BPD. I also know these girls either had a bad relationship with their father or didn't have a father in their life.

Yeah BPD seems to be pretty common with those girls.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

Categorically true, the men I have seen in this context are losing the game so bad that they don't even understand that they are losing. I feel bad for them, but the times in my life I have tried to help... have not helped...

Conversely, being in the middle of a swirl of female competition might actually be something I live for.

I guess I'm actually all for being surrounded by riled up hordes of beautiful women. But this is my sickness. I wouldnt wish this disease upon any of you

Yeah gotta be a next level loser to be willing to be the BF of such a girl. One is even a bigger loser if one is "a friend" of such a girl.

At best, just have ONS with them. Second best is to become their FB, although I would watch out since those girls can easily reel you into shit you do not want to deal with like all the "poor me, I am sad, save me" messages.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

@Teevster,



Yes, you're right. At first I was a bit confused about the toxic relationship part... I was thinking about the high-T girls though.

There are also the girly girls who just keep massive numbers of orbiters and always have super dramatic relationships, where they are still going out, surrounded by guys, the boyfriend is constantly mate-guarding them, and it's just a mess.

I haven't picked the brains of any of those girls to understand them more deeply. Did have one I ran The Cube on once who told me the storm was over the cube and striking it with lightning bolts, lol. I have known some who were Bachelor's degree holders. But the ones with no education are in a special camp of crazy. I met one of these chicks off online once and she was living with six dudes. Another I picked up in a club lived with four dudes. Both were extremely hot and totally nuts. Neither had any education.

I didn't dive too deep into their backgrounds beyond that, but both these "living with tons of dudes" chicks had a lot of stereotypical BPD girl characteristics. Probably if a girl is behaving this extreme she's somewhere on the Cluster B spectrum.

Yeah it turned out there were two different types of girls being discussed. I personally have limited experience with those high T girls because I rarely approach them due to my experience of most of them being lesbos. I also must point out that most of these girls will not be found in fancy and flashy clubs. I would assume they hang more with their "bros" in private, or at pubs.

What I have also noticed is that these girls are more common in Germanic/Anglo-saxonne countries. I have never met a French Tomgboy for example.

I also must point out that, ok maybe many of them are in fact straight, then I wonder why I haven't met anyone who has fucked one, nor have I seen many lay reports about such girls. I mean this could selection bias, but I do find this slightly odd. I am not yet fully convinced. Something feels off with those Tomboys.

Now regarding the other type - I think the conclusion so far (based on a consensus here) is that they suffer from BPD/covert narcs, and usually does this for male attention. uusually this behaviour is linked to daddy issues.

ol, my bad. Social etiquette breach!

I should've just posted the link.

Then I was like "Here are some cool quotes. I should post them for posterity, since every web page disappears like 3-8 years later."

Then posted some. Then posted some more.

Probably went a bit overboar

I did not take it badly. I don't mind people bringing tons of proof

But again, my gut-feeling isn't fully ready to accept the fact that those tomboys are actually straight. I rarely see them hook up with dudes (the few times I have seen some of those - usually in England and Scandinavia).

Well... I will pay more attention and see if I can get to the bottom of it.

-Teevster

 

[HoofHearted]

can easily reel you into shit you do not want to deal with like all the "poor me, I am sad, save me" messages.

This is exactly my experience (i didnt bite)

You guys have really seen everything

 

[Teevster]

Not that it matters much, but Tomboys, are considered part of LGBTQ+ and oftentimes associated with lesbianism according to the gender wiki.

Not saying this is a source of truth, just saying that I may have been onto something.

Tomboy is a for gender identity in which one is female-aligned and expresses oneself in a traditionally masculine way, be it through clothing, activities, or lifestyle.

It is important to note that tomboys do not fall under the transgender umbrella because gender expression and gender identity are different things. Being a tomboy has sometimes been associated with being a lesbian but this is not always the case.

Tomboy is the masculine counterpart to tomgirl, male-aligned people who express themselves in a feminine manner.

We need to remember that back in the 90's and 2000's, it was part of fashion for women to dress masculine (although it always had a feminine touch over it). Perhaps this explains the reddit cases @Chase linked to: most lived through the 90's and 2000's and followed the trends, which involved baggy t-shirts, and cargo-pants and caps. This thinking of themselves are "boyish girls" when in fact, they were just following the whole skater girl trend. They were however not true tomboys.

This explains also why I haven't seen any masculine looking girls in the bars/clubs lately, aside from Lesbian girls in gay/gay-friendly clubs.

-Teevster

 

[Chase]

Yeah it turned out there were two different types of girls being discussed. I personally have limited experience with those high T girls because I rarely approach them due to my experience of most of them being lesbos. I also must point out that most of these girls will not be found in fancy and flashy clubs. I would assume they hang more with their "bros" in private, or at pubs.

They're definitely more the dive bar type of chick.

Ones I have known have gone to the high-end clubs sometimes. But it is definitely not their usual hang out.

What I have also noticed is that these girls are more common in Germanic/Anglo-saxonne countries. I have never met a French Tomgboy for example.

I also must point out that, ok maybe many of them are in fact straight, then I wonder why I haven't met anyone who has fucked one, nor have I seen many lay reports about such girls. I mean this could selection bias, but I do find this slightly odd. I am not yet fully convinced. Something feels off with those Tomboys.

I think you're talking about 'adult tomboy', which yeah, would be some kind of lesbian probably.

In English people usually use 'tomboy' to mean a prepubescent girl who is more rough-and-tumble, less girly. Usually once puberty hits most tomboys get a lot more feminine. There's often no real way to tell them at a glance from girls who were girly girls when little.

I've shagged girls who used to be tomboys. But I would bet you probably have too. I don't know how many girls are tomboys... but it's probably at least 10-15% in every country. Just go to a playground and you will see little girls who are running around climbing on stuff, punching boys, and whatnot. Most of those girls will not become lesbians... or even high T nympho chicks... they will just hit puberty, get a bunch of estrogen, and feminize a lot, though not quite as much as the girls who were always very elegant and girlish.

Now regarding the other type - I think the conclusion so far (based on a consensus here) is that they suffer from BPD/covert narcs, and usually does this for male attention. uusually this behaviour is linked to daddy issues.

Yeah, seems like the consensus.

Not that it matters much, but Tomboys, are considered part of LGBTQ+ and oftentimes associated with lesbianism according to the gender wiki.

Not saying this is a source of truth, just saying that I may have been onto something.

A lot of these things seem to try to take some term that's been around for a long time and give it a new meaning to fit their group.

This is a term from the 1500s for describing "a girl who behaves like a spirited or boisterous boy; a wild romping girl."

It's honestly pretty weird to me that it's getting portrayed as some sort of transgender thing now. This is a prepubescent child phenomenon... these girls aren't thinking about sex yet. The vast majority of them go through some major feminization once the estrogen hits.

It's a fun thought experiment to go back in time to when John Money redefined the term 'gender' to refer to some sort of internal sexual identity, and when he was publishing his papers claiming success at having switched a child's gender identity to just make it very public how that was actually going with the Reimer brothers. We wouldn't have any of this gender stuff at all today if that happened -- people would've been outraged and the whole thing would've collapsed before it even got going.

Guess that's language for you though -- it is always being repurposed and redefined!

Chase

 

[James Cruse]

The women I’ve been with or just been casually dating that have mostly (or all) male friends generally fall into the following categories:

1. She’s unlikeable &/or too slutty to make friends with women that she also likes = other quality women can’t stand her.

2. (Generally as a result of the previous) She’s overly competitive with any woman that is in the ballpark of being as good looking as her, so the very few female friends she does have (hasn’t scared away with fierce jealousy) are really under her totalitarian leadership. These female friends are often unattractive, unpleasant or just pushovers that no-one else wants to be friends with. This re-enforces the toxic behaviour of the leader (your girl) who’s unquestioned by normal, sane healthy thinking women. Thus why she has many male friends - they’re the only ones who will put up with her non-sense and she’s not jealous towards the men.

3. They’re just slutty girls who have many male friends (and very few female friends) because they’re making excuses to have tonnes of hypergamous alternative male dating options, who they often sleep with or get other orbiter guys to do favours for in hopes one of the non-orbiters will commit to her eventually. But she’ll have the orbiters as a safety net for commitment if those better guys don’t work out.
This girl is usually motivated by low self-esteem + father abandonment issues.