We always see seduction from male's perspective, but let's see if this could be something how females perceive it:
Say you are a female 8/10, age 25-30, and always having lots of males around you. Abundance of cocks. You are confident because you have the power or rejection. You wouldn't admit it but you do want hot sex, you get horny and quite curious at times, just those guys you had before were not so good, they didn't give you what you exactly wanted - good fuck. Today is one of those casual afternoons and you are standing in public area, shopping.
You see a guy a couple of feet away who appears quite confident, stands erected but is totally relaxed. There is something about him. His face reflects some pleasure, he is not afraid to take a good look at females around but he is not creepy. When you look in his eyes he doesn't look away, he appears bold, confident. You can see that he is fit and healthy, he likes to move 'things' (weights) around, he simply likes to get physical. He has decent clothes on but not too fancy, he takes good care of himself yet nothing extra. Just a guy, confident, appearing strong. You can smell his sweat, you can feel his testosterone.
So right there you know that he wants sex, you just can see it in his face and eyes, and he is quite comfortable with it. You just feel that he is not afraid to fuck. Now you feel that your attraction and curiosity is rapidly raising.
Then you notice in periphery of your vision that he is looking at you now, giving you a good look up and down. You blush, you feel that sexual tension, and you get quite nervous. He must be thinking about it, and you are thinking about it too. Most men are usually not open like that, they are ashamed to look. But he doesn't move, just looks slowly away, and kinda ignores you, doesn't look back. What??? You are used to that every guy with balls running after you you and talks to you. He looks like he has balls so why is he ignoring you? You just have to get closer, stand right next to him or in front of him, make sure that he notices you. But he still doesn't do anything, totally ignores you. WTF is wrong with him? You get nervous even more. You can't stand the tension, you get quite nervous. If he really wants sex he must be looking at your legs and ass now, all men do it. So you just turn quickly around and look directly in his eyes. In stead of him moving away when caught like the other guys do, he just calmly looks in your eyes, smiles gently - and you just start melting. This is good, this is really good, you are thinking.
And he says something. Was it just Hi? He talks even more, wow, not too loud, not too quiet, he doesn't pretend to be some stupid Alpha who dominates his environment by being overly loud. He looks interested but doesn't get overexcited like all those guys you met before, he has no lost puppy eyes, he is not nervous at all. He is just calm, relaxed, friendly. He doesn't uses stupid openers, doesn't ask you for your number. He is not using any weird seduction techniques either. He doesn't even compliment you on your nice look, your tits, and just talks to you as if you were his old friend. You are getting too excited so you must talk to calm yourself down. He doesn't talk much, but at least he is pretending that he listens. He doesn't necessary agree with everything you say, but is not an asshole to show you that he can disagree with you either. Just a casual talk, except he always looks like he wants to fuck. Who the fuck is this guy? why doesn't he say anything about himself? Doesn't he get excited about talking to hot women like me? So you have to touch him. You touch while talking, and he touches back as if nothing happened, he just doesn't make a big deal out of it. Wow.
So maybe a quick coffee and small talk is fine. So you go for a coffee, and you talk and talk, maybe here and there you strike his leg by pure coincidence or grab his arm in an effort to amplify your amazing story about your interesting life. Your hormones are surging, you feel quite high. You smile a lot and trying to get him excited, to get his energy up. But he just remains friendly, remains calm, there is some excitement but rather low. You can't believe it as any other guys usually go overboard. All you can feel is that he wants to fuck, but again, he doesn't really talk about it and he is not trying anything. He doesn't have any interesting stories either, so he might be just boring like everyone else, who knows. But is he shy or bold? Experienced or inexperienced? Is he a nice guy or bad ass? Can't figure that one out yet. Doesn't he care that he talks to someone who is hot like me? Nope, he just doesn't give a damn. Maybe I am not attractive enough...?
So you start telling him about how your friends are having sex. Pounding and pounding, having great oral sex, sometimes even random, which of course you would never do because you are a good woman. Lets see what he does when you bring up sex - shy guys usually back up, can't even talk about it, and all those horny perverts jump on it right away. But this guy just smiles, takes over and confidently starts talking about his friend. How his friend is fucking his GF every day, how he stands while she is sucking his cock, how he fucks her from behind, tells her what to do, dominates her, spanks her and does other nasty stuff to her. You are almost shocked, you have to hear all about how his friend is having this amazing sex that you were always secretly hoping for. You just can't believe your ears - doesn't he realize that you are a good woman who he just met? How can he talks about sex with woman like you, without even having one drink? No guy before has ever done that, there are no guys who have balls to talk about sex like that!
And then he adds, if he weren't so shy himself he would definitely like to try it too, at least once, but only with the right person who he feels comfortable enough with, and who wouldn't judge him for his inexperience. He gets hurt when people judge him. WTF you think, this guy looks like a bull ready to knock down anyone who stands in his way - and he is talking about his hurt feelings? You are just confused. Ideally, he continues, she should be nice enough, pretty, gentle and understanding, forgiving him his mistakes and all his imperfections. She should be nice girl who doesn't judge him for being horny and just accepts him as a person, because it is not his fault that he wants to fuck, he is ashamed of it but can't really help it, that is how weak he is. She should be good looking too, he adds sadly. So is he fucking bold or is he just shy? Strong or weak? Doesn't he see that I am hot and pretty, nice and understanding person? He doesn't give a damn yet he talks about how he worries about being judged? So now you are confused even more.
You just can't figure it out, he says one thing and does another. Does he really want to fuck as he looks? Well, maybe you could teach him a thing or two! Maybe he thinks you are out of his league - and your hormones are pumping and pumping.
But this guy is good. Now he says that he's go to go to his place, and you finally caught him - he just made some unbelievably stupid excuse to go to his place, now you can be sure that all he wants is sex. At least he is honest about it. You just get more nervous, you bite your lips and blush again because now he is really talking about doing it. So you look seriously at him, the pressure is too high you even want to leave because you are not a slut. Your good friend did it, but you've never done this before. You would never do this stuff, only with BF, and he doesn't really seem to be good enough to be BF - he is not smart enough and doesn't have enough money.
But he just totally ignores you, doesn't even look at you, doesn't give a damn about what you think of him, or whether you are leaving too or not. He just pulls his valet to pay for that coffee. Not for both of you, only for himself. Who the fuck does he think he is by not paying for you? Every guy does that! You are kind of insulted, you didn't really expect that, so you just say it's ok, you got it, and you pull up your valet. You show him good manners, you show him that you have money to pay for both of you. At least he is nice enough to ask why don't you go with him. Well, he still didn't ask for number, he doesn't have that stupid look in his face that horny guys always have, and he is not pushing you around trying to dominate you and get compliance from you by doing stupid things. He is just normal, casual, just friendly, and he didn't fuck up your conversations by talking about himself, so you are still quite excited. He grabs your hand anyway and starts walking.
And you are still quite attracted, you want to figure him out, so you go. You are quite nervous about this, but he just remains calm, doesn't hint anything that could lead to sex, doesn't try to kiss you, hold your hands, nothing. You can always say no and leave anyway, he looks safe enough. So does he want to fuck or not? You keep asking. Could it be that he is impotent? Gay? He just doesn't say, there are no hints either. So why not go to his place, what is there to risk, what is there to lose? Just in case, you grab his arm to see his reactions. He is just nicely surprised, apparently he didn't expect that. He is not afraid of touching you either. So what is his deal?
You are getting to his place, and now you feel real surge of excitement. What is he going to do now - is he going to put stupid TV on and look for some great movie? Is he going to try to impress with collection of his toys or whatever he's hiding, maybe offer some drink? Its a puzzle, you don't know. You just hope he's not going to introduce you to his BF or do something other totally unpredictable and stupid to disappoint you. You secretly hope that he is a man he appears to be. Maybe all you have to do is just sit and overcome those awkward moments of silence before he finds his balls and tries to kiss you. But even now this guy just doesn't give a damn about anything, he is just happy and calm like before. WTF?
So you get in, nervous and excited. And he is really good - he doesn't waste any time at all. Now he starts touching you more, getting quite physical, but he is gentle. He moves his body against yours, rubs his dick on your ass and thighs, and didn't even try to kiss you. Thank god he is still have his pants on, you can't take it, you are so close seeing a cock and you are already wet. All you know is that he really wants it and is not afraid of it. Now he grabs your tits and touches your pussy, you must laugh. That is just too much, you are not used to this. So you have to pull away. Sorry you tell him, you are not like that, you can't do it, you have a BF but it was fun. He doesn't get red, he doesn't get upset, he doesn't start talking sex, just remains casual, friendly. And he just still doesn't give a damn. How can he still be so fucking relaxed and confident?
Now he comes back, starts touching and rubbing you again, this time even more. He is just bold and straight, he doesn't even try to hide his intention to fuck. It is just too much. You give up, you let him take your clothes off. After all, fucking is good, and he is not shy at all - he fucks like a real man.
And he fucks you, and then he fucks you again. When you think its over he pulls you back, shoves you on the bed and he fucks you one more time. What a horny motherfucker he is. Maybe it is not a fuck of your life, but close enough, this was just a first time, and unlike before your BF you didn't have to pretend any orgasms. All you know is that it was so fucking good and you are not sorry for that. You can't be.
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Obviously I'm not a female so I could be totally wrong, but I tried to see it from her perspective, based on my understanding and observing female reactions.
Now, imagine you meet her and you try to seduce her, approach her in some weird way, try to pull some smart opener on her. She would see right there that you are a nice guy without experience who is just 'in training'. So just be a normal person who is interested in sex, that is all. If you get overexcited she will see that you are like any other guy who can't control his emotions. She also knows you will be asking her for phone number, like five other boring guys today, and she knows you will try to setup a date with her - because you just don't have guts to take her for a date right now.
Imagine she gets to your place at that state that is described above. She already knows you want to fuck. By postponing it, showing her movies, playing games, being too slow and doing this and that, you are only showing her that you don't have balls to fuck. The more you are postponing the more difficult it is for you because the less balls you are showing. She already saw little balls, many times, but she's never seen big ones.
So if you are not thinking about quick sex you are (in her mind) automatically categorizing yourself into areas of BF, Providers, Nice Guys - guys who are boring and who take too much time to nail her. If you don't give a damn about anything, you will kind of give her some sort of safety, showing her that having random sex is not that important, and she doesn't have to worry about you as a potential mate. If you are pushing too much for sex and are too aggressive, you are pushing her into a "slut" category. She will pull away, reject you, she just can't be viewed as a slut. If you are too passive, relaxed and keep the excitement low, she can relax a bit around you, and if you are at the same time expressing sex with your body language, she still know you can deliver a good fuck. And when she expect a good fuck from you, you better deliver it - otherwise you'll appear as just like a fake.
Say you are a female 8/10, age 25-30, and always having lots of males around you. Abundance of cocks. You are confident because you have the power or rejection. You wouldn't admit it but you do want hot sex, you get horny and quite curious at times, just those guys you had before were not so good, they didn't give you what you exactly wanted - good fuck. Today is one of those casual afternoons and you are standing in public area, shopping.
You see a guy a couple of feet away who appears quite confident, stands erected but is totally relaxed. There is something about him. His face reflects some pleasure, he is not afraid to take a good look at females around but he is not creepy. When you look in his eyes he doesn't look away, he appears bold, confident. You can see that he is fit and healthy, he likes to move 'things' (weights) around, he simply likes to get physical. He has decent clothes on but not too fancy, he takes good care of himself yet nothing extra. Just a guy, confident, appearing strong. You can smell his sweat, you can feel his testosterone.
So right there you know that he wants sex, you just can see it in his face and eyes, and he is quite comfortable with it. You just feel that he is not afraid to fuck. Now you feel that your attraction and curiosity is rapidly raising.
Then you notice in periphery of your vision that he is looking at you now, giving you a good look up and down. You blush, you feel that sexual tension, and you get quite nervous. He must be thinking about it, and you are thinking about it too. Most men are usually not open like that, they are ashamed to look. But he doesn't move, just looks slowly away, and kinda ignores you, doesn't look back. What??? You are used to that every guy with balls running after you you and talks to you. He looks like he has balls so why is he ignoring you? You just have to get closer, stand right next to him or in front of him, make sure that he notices you. But he still doesn't do anything, totally ignores you. WTF is wrong with him? You get nervous even more. You can't stand the tension, you get quite nervous. If he really wants sex he must be looking at your legs and ass now, all men do it. So you just turn quickly around and look directly in his eyes. In stead of him moving away when caught like the other guys do, he just calmly looks in your eyes, smiles gently - and you just start melting. This is good, this is really good, you are thinking.
And he says something. Was it just Hi? He talks even more, wow, not too loud, not too quiet, he doesn't pretend to be some stupid Alpha who dominates his environment by being overly loud. He looks interested but doesn't get overexcited like all those guys you met before, he has no lost puppy eyes, he is not nervous at all. He is just calm, relaxed, friendly. He doesn't uses stupid openers, doesn't ask you for your number. He is not using any weird seduction techniques either. He doesn't even compliment you on your nice look, your tits, and just talks to you as if you were his old friend. You are getting too excited so you must talk to calm yourself down. He doesn't talk much, but at least he is pretending that he listens. He doesn't necessary agree with everything you say, but is not an asshole to show you that he can disagree with you either. Just a casual talk, except he always looks like he wants to fuck. Who the fuck is this guy? why doesn't he say anything about himself? Doesn't he get excited about talking to hot women like me? So you have to touch him. You touch while talking, and he touches back as if nothing happened, he just doesn't make a big deal out of it. Wow.
So maybe a quick coffee and small talk is fine. So you go for a coffee, and you talk and talk, maybe here and there you strike his leg by pure coincidence or grab his arm in an effort to amplify your amazing story about your interesting life. Your hormones are surging, you feel quite high. You smile a lot and trying to get him excited, to get his energy up. But he just remains friendly, remains calm, there is some excitement but rather low. You can't believe it as any other guys usually go overboard. All you can feel is that he wants to fuck, but again, he doesn't really talk about it and he is not trying anything. He doesn't have any interesting stories either, so he might be just boring like everyone else, who knows. But is he shy or bold? Experienced or inexperienced? Is he a nice guy or bad ass? Can't figure that one out yet. Doesn't he care that he talks to someone who is hot like me? Nope, he just doesn't give a damn. Maybe I am not attractive enough...?
So you start telling him about how your friends are having sex. Pounding and pounding, having great oral sex, sometimes even random, which of course you would never do because you are a good woman. Lets see what he does when you bring up sex - shy guys usually back up, can't even talk about it, and all those horny perverts jump on it right away. But this guy just smiles, takes over and confidently starts talking about his friend. How his friend is fucking his GF every day, how he stands while she is sucking his cock, how he fucks her from behind, tells her what to do, dominates her, spanks her and does other nasty stuff to her. You are almost shocked, you have to hear all about how his friend is having this amazing sex that you were always secretly hoping for. You just can't believe your ears - doesn't he realize that you are a good woman who he just met? How can he talks about sex with woman like you, without even having one drink? No guy before has ever done that, there are no guys who have balls to talk about sex like that!
And then he adds, if he weren't so shy himself he would definitely like to try it too, at least once, but only with the right person who he feels comfortable enough with, and who wouldn't judge him for his inexperience. He gets hurt when people judge him. WTF you think, this guy looks like a bull ready to knock down anyone who stands in his way - and he is talking about his hurt feelings? You are just confused. Ideally, he continues, she should be nice enough, pretty, gentle and understanding, forgiving him his mistakes and all his imperfections. She should be nice girl who doesn't judge him for being horny and just accepts him as a person, because it is not his fault that he wants to fuck, he is ashamed of it but can't really help it, that is how weak he is. She should be good looking too, he adds sadly. So is he fucking bold or is he just shy? Strong or weak? Doesn't he see that I am hot and pretty, nice and understanding person? He doesn't give a damn yet he talks about how he worries about being judged? So now you are confused even more.
You just can't figure it out, he says one thing and does another. Does he really want to fuck as he looks? Well, maybe you could teach him a thing or two! Maybe he thinks you are out of his league - and your hormones are pumping and pumping.
But this guy is good. Now he says that he's go to go to his place, and you finally caught him - he just made some unbelievably stupid excuse to go to his place, now you can be sure that all he wants is sex. At least he is honest about it. You just get more nervous, you bite your lips and blush again because now he is really talking about doing it. So you look seriously at him, the pressure is too high you even want to leave because you are not a slut. Your good friend did it, but you've never done this before. You would never do this stuff, only with BF, and he doesn't really seem to be good enough to be BF - he is not smart enough and doesn't have enough money.
But he just totally ignores you, doesn't even look at you, doesn't give a damn about what you think of him, or whether you are leaving too or not. He just pulls his valet to pay for that coffee. Not for both of you, only for himself. Who the fuck does he think he is by not paying for you? Every guy does that! You are kind of insulted, you didn't really expect that, so you just say it's ok, you got it, and you pull up your valet. You show him good manners, you show him that you have money to pay for both of you. At least he is nice enough to ask why don't you go with him. Well, he still didn't ask for number, he doesn't have that stupid look in his face that horny guys always have, and he is not pushing you around trying to dominate you and get compliance from you by doing stupid things. He is just normal, casual, just friendly, and he didn't fuck up your conversations by talking about himself, so you are still quite excited. He grabs your hand anyway and starts walking.
And you are still quite attracted, you want to figure him out, so you go. You are quite nervous about this, but he just remains calm, doesn't hint anything that could lead to sex, doesn't try to kiss you, hold your hands, nothing. You can always say no and leave anyway, he looks safe enough. So does he want to fuck or not? You keep asking. Could it be that he is impotent? Gay? He just doesn't say, there are no hints either. So why not go to his place, what is there to risk, what is there to lose? Just in case, you grab his arm to see his reactions. He is just nicely surprised, apparently he didn't expect that. He is not afraid of touching you either. So what is his deal?
You are getting to his place, and now you feel real surge of excitement. What is he going to do now - is he going to put stupid TV on and look for some great movie? Is he going to try to impress with collection of his toys or whatever he's hiding, maybe offer some drink? Its a puzzle, you don't know. You just hope he's not going to introduce you to his BF or do something other totally unpredictable and stupid to disappoint you. You secretly hope that he is a man he appears to be. Maybe all you have to do is just sit and overcome those awkward moments of silence before he finds his balls and tries to kiss you. But even now this guy just doesn't give a damn about anything, he is just happy and calm like before. WTF?
So you get in, nervous and excited. And he is really good - he doesn't waste any time at all. Now he starts touching you more, getting quite physical, but he is gentle. He moves his body against yours, rubs his dick on your ass and thighs, and didn't even try to kiss you. Thank god he is still have his pants on, you can't take it, you are so close seeing a cock and you are already wet. All you know is that he really wants it and is not afraid of it. Now he grabs your tits and touches your pussy, you must laugh. That is just too much, you are not used to this. So you have to pull away. Sorry you tell him, you are not like that, you can't do it, you have a BF but it was fun. He doesn't get red, he doesn't get upset, he doesn't start talking sex, just remains casual, friendly. And he just still doesn't give a damn. How can he still be so fucking relaxed and confident?
Now he comes back, starts touching and rubbing you again, this time even more. He is just bold and straight, he doesn't even try to hide his intention to fuck. It is just too much. You give up, you let him take your clothes off. After all, fucking is good, and he is not shy at all - he fucks like a real man.
And he fucks you, and then he fucks you again. When you think its over he pulls you back, shoves you on the bed and he fucks you one more time. What a horny motherfucker he is. Maybe it is not a fuck of your life, but close enough, this was just a first time, and unlike before your BF you didn't have to pretend any orgasms. All you know is that it was so fucking good and you are not sorry for that. You can't be.
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Obviously I'm not a female so I could be totally wrong, but I tried to see it from her perspective, based on my understanding and observing female reactions.
Now, imagine you meet her and you try to seduce her, approach her in some weird way, try to pull some smart opener on her. She would see right there that you are a nice guy without experience who is just 'in training'. So just be a normal person who is interested in sex, that is all. If you get overexcited she will see that you are like any other guy who can't control his emotions. She also knows you will be asking her for phone number, like five other boring guys today, and she knows you will try to setup a date with her - because you just don't have guts to take her for a date right now.
Imagine she gets to your place at that state that is described above. She already knows you want to fuck. By postponing it, showing her movies, playing games, being too slow and doing this and that, you are only showing her that you don't have balls to fuck. The more you are postponing the more difficult it is for you because the less balls you are showing. She already saw little balls, many times, but she's never seen big ones.
So if you are not thinking about quick sex you are (in her mind) automatically categorizing yourself into areas of BF, Providers, Nice Guys - guys who are boring and who take too much time to nail her. If you don't give a damn about anything, you will kind of give her some sort of safety, showing her that having random sex is not that important, and she doesn't have to worry about you as a potential mate. If you are pushing too much for sex and are too aggressive, you are pushing her into a "slut" category. She will pull away, reject you, she just can't be viewed as a slut. If you are too passive, relaxed and keep the excitement low, she can relax a bit around you, and if you are at the same time expressing sex with your body language, she still know you can deliver a good fuck. And when she expect a good fuck from you, you better deliver it - otherwise you'll appear as just like a fake.