- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,352
@ZacAdam,
Did you mean married men exit the dating market?
If you meant marriage affecting a man's value to other women... the effect is generally the opposite: it raises his value.
We just had a good conversation on it the other day here:
www.skilledseducer.com
Some women exclusively date married men. I knew a chick who from about age 18 to 25 wouldn't sleep with a guy unless he was married with children. She said she felt like unmarried men were little boys.
On some other forums I've been on in the past we've spoken about how wedding rings often serve as a big attractor to women. Numerous philandering seducers have talked about their wedding rings helping them pick women up (sometimes they even get opened on them). I recall a divorced guy years ago who kept wearing his wedding ring because he had better results with girls with it on. When they'd ask him about it he'd just say he was "recently divorced but still in the process of moving on", lol. Women went nuts for it.
It makes sense when you think about women's biggest concern when it comes to mates... "Is this guy LEGITIMATELY worth mating with or is he just good at faking it?"
Marriage says "some woman spent years evaluating this guy and decided after all that to let him wife her and probably put children in her." If the guy is otherwise attractive to a woman, and then he's married on top of that, it sort of serves like if you were thinking about buying a used Mercedes, but were trying to figure out if it was really as good as the sales guy said or if maybe it might have hidden problems... then you checked the paperwork and saw the car was certified as in tip-top shape by an official Mercedes-Benz dealer. Sets your mind at ease and removes many objections to selecting this car.
@Will_V,
Great analysis here. I loved this post.
Absolutely on-point.
Yes.
A large part of why seduction works is because it trains up excellence in a man in a number of categories like appearance, conversational abilities, social savvy, leadership, confidence, et cetera. Guys will attribute their success to their game, and the game does play a role, but game really is a vehicle for conveying the various forms of excellence they have developed.
I would also say... you either want to be exceptional in one attribute and above average in a few others, or exceptional in several if you are average/below average in others. When you get guys who are exceptional in just a single way but average/below average in others, that's where you get very sporadic results.
e.g., the guy who's a talented drummer in a big rock band, but he's shy and awkward around women and doesn't really know how to do anything else but drum. He'll still get laid, but it won't be with top shelf talent. He'll be outcompeted by other guys who are maybe not as highly exceptional in any one trait as him, but have a higher overall 'exceptional quality' sum total when you add their various stronger qualities together. The drummer needs to bring up some of his other qualities if he wants to raise the quality of the girls he gets.
Yes, completely.
It's fascinating to look at how people choose mates. If you ask people how they found their last boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, it's almost always someone from work, someone from school, someone met through friends, etc.
Then you ask, "How many acceptable, available mate prospects did this person likely have access to via these circles? 10-15 tops maybe? That's the pool he/she had to choose from. What are the odds that out of 10-15 prospective mates one or more of them is PERFECT for you? Probably not high at all. Which means people are not choosing ideal mates... they are choosing the best mates they have available."
For a while I thought online might change that. But the selection criteria online are infinitely fewer and infinitely shallower than social circle (how most folks meet), to the point I don't think the larger quantity of prospective mates can make up for the lack of good evaluation criteria... so you end up with people meeting via online who are even more "best available" rather than "perfect choice."
Women... you kinda feel bad for them. They can try to navigate around and put themselves in opportunities to try to meet the men they want.
But ultimately all they can do is choose from the men who approach them.
Yes, it's part of the ballooning complexity of mating in a complex society.
There are so many mixed messages and unreliable signals being beamed at everyone, women included. A lot of it is being done for social cohesiveness reasons (i.e., it is done to attempt to hold fraying/patchwork societies together)... some of it may be done for other reasons I'll leave it to other men to speculate on.
Depending on how susceptible to influence she is, a woman may buy a lot of this stuff hook, line, and sinker and end up making decisions that are bad for her personally but are in service to various social agendas before she wakes up to it... if she ever does. Other women are wise to it from the get-go and can avoid getting sucked too far in (for a guy with daughters, or any children, one of the number one things you can do for them is helping them understand how hard everyone and everything in society is trying to influence them, and that many of the things they're being influenced to do are not necessarily in their own best interests).
Fantastic!
Chase
A high value man, will no longer becomes high value, the moment marriage enters. And this is something that Girlschase has brought up in their YouTube channel, in the past 1-2 years, and also in the forums. Where we finally recognize that relationship game and dating game are different.
Did you mean married men exit the dating market?
If you meant marriage affecting a man's value to other women... the effect is generally the opposite: it raises his value.
We just had a good conversation on it the other day here:
Married Game
SOME OBSERVATIONS SO FAR The lie of the land 1. Being married need not be an obstacle to flirtation, interest or getting a first date, whether in social circle or by cold approach. Women can sometimes be very unfussed about the man being married. In fact, men who are known to be "taken" have...

Some women exclusively date married men. I knew a chick who from about age 18 to 25 wouldn't sleep with a guy unless he was married with children. She said she felt like unmarried men were little boys.
On some other forums I've been on in the past we've spoken about how wedding rings often serve as a big attractor to women. Numerous philandering seducers have talked about their wedding rings helping them pick women up (sometimes they even get opened on them). I recall a divorced guy years ago who kept wearing his wedding ring because he had better results with girls with it on. When they'd ask him about it he'd just say he was "recently divorced but still in the process of moving on", lol. Women went nuts for it.
It makes sense when you think about women's biggest concern when it comes to mates... "Is this guy LEGITIMATELY worth mating with or is he just good at faking it?"
Marriage says "some woman spent years evaluating this guy and decided after all that to let him wife her and probably put children in her." If the guy is otherwise attractive to a woman, and then he's married on top of that, it sort of serves like if you were thinking about buying a used Mercedes, but were trying to figure out if it was really as good as the sales guy said or if maybe it might have hidden problems... then you checked the paperwork and saw the car was certified as in tip-top shape by an official Mercedes-Benz dealer. Sets your mind at ease and removes many objections to selecting this car.
@Will_V,
Great analysis here. I loved this post.
That is why women's sexual attraction is so flexible - she responds far less to what a man is than the result he gets. She is not an idealist by nature - she does not have some perfectly detailed idea of what man she should want or need. Instead, she is very much acted upon by the event of male success. If she is questioned as to what kind of guy she wants, she will reply with things that are generally correlated with male success, but if she is questioned as to why she is fucking some particular guy who is far from the perfect male specimen, she will not really be able to say, or will make something up as a backward rationalization.
Absolutely on-point.
In my understanding, to succeed generally as a man in the sexual marketplace, you have to be exceptional in some attribute. This is what gets women interested, and then your frame control is what secures her trust that she has made the right choice.
Yes.
A large part of why seduction works is because it trains up excellence in a man in a number of categories like appearance, conversational abilities, social savvy, leadership, confidence, et cetera. Guys will attribute their success to their game, and the game does play a role, but game really is a vehicle for conveying the various forms of excellence they have developed.
I would also say... you either want to be exceptional in one attribute and above average in a few others, or exceptional in several if you are average/below average in others. When you get guys who are exceptional in just a single way but average/below average in others, that's where you get very sporadic results.
e.g., the guy who's a talented drummer in a big rock band, but he's shy and awkward around women and doesn't really know how to do anything else but drum. He'll still get laid, but it won't be with top shelf talent. He'll be outcompeted by other guys who are maybe not as highly exceptional in any one trait as him, but have a higher overall 'exceptional quality' sum total when you add their various stronger qualities together. The drummer needs to bring up some of his other qualities if he wants to raise the quality of the girls he gets.
For many animals, females don't choose, they simply make themselves available in a competitive environment. I don't believe things have changed all that much for humans.
Yes, completely.
It's fascinating to look at how people choose mates. If you ask people how they found their last boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, it's almost always someone from work, someone from school, someone met through friends, etc.
Then you ask, "How many acceptable, available mate prospects did this person likely have access to via these circles? 10-15 tops maybe? That's the pool he/she had to choose from. What are the odds that out of 10-15 prospective mates one or more of them is PERFECT for you? Probably not high at all. Which means people are not choosing ideal mates... they are choosing the best mates they have available."
For a while I thought online might change that. But the selection criteria online are infinitely fewer and infinitely shallower than social circle (how most folks meet), to the point I don't think the larger quantity of prospective mates can make up for the lack of good evaluation criteria... so you end up with people meeting via online who are even more "best available" rather than "perfect choice."
Women... you kinda feel bad for them. They can try to navigate around and put themselves in opportunities to try to meet the men they want.
But ultimately all they can do is choose from the men who approach them.
The main thing that I think has created the most anxiety for women recently is that male success is quite hard to evaluate these days (and is certainly not evaluated for them) and muddled by a lot of different messages. A guy can be a complete loser and she may either not know or find him lauded by society based on some manufactured new standards of what men should be - or she might be instinctively attracted to some guy that society attacks left and right and portrays as a loser.
Yes, it's part of the ballooning complexity of mating in a complex society.
There are so many mixed messages and unreliable signals being beamed at everyone, women included. A lot of it is being done for social cohesiveness reasons (i.e., it is done to attempt to hold fraying/patchwork societies together)... some of it may be done for other reasons I'll leave it to other men to speculate on.
Depending on how susceptible to influence she is, a woman may buy a lot of this stuff hook, line, and sinker and end up making decisions that are bad for her personally but are in service to various social agendas before she wakes up to it... if she ever does. Other women are wise to it from the get-go and can avoid getting sucked too far in (for a guy with daughters, or any children, one of the number one things you can do for them is helping them understand how hard everyone and everything in society is trying to influence them, and that many of the things they're being influenced to do are not necessarily in their own best interests).
Between all these factors and confusions, a man has a lot of space to define himself as attractive to women, especially if he has the frame control that allows him to take a small amount of curiosity or interest and turn it into seductive success. He has the advantage that women are followers by nature who are surrounded by males who are both ignorant of women's nature and afraid to take control of their interactions with them. The seducer is just another prototype of nature - one of many, each competing with its own measure of success, and receiving female attention accordingly.
Fantastic!
Chase