LR- Yeah okay, I guess she does want this cock

[Payload]

That is interesting. Up until now I thought getting pussy would lead to me being happier. I am totally aware of the article and know what it means.

But now "Women should only ever be a complement to a Man's life, never the focus of it" really clicks.

Next problem is, I don't fucking know what to do with my life, that's why I wanted to focus on getting laid in the meantime. I can practically hear my neurons firing but I don't know whether I will like the result of that process.

 

[Skills]

I stop reading after "roommate" should i read this??? because sleeping with your roommate could be the dumbness decision ever..

 

[gameboy]

I stop reading after "roommate" should i read this??? because sleeping with your roommate could be the dumbness decision ever..

Happens all the time man. Literally all the time.

 

[Payload]

I stop reading after "roommate" should i read this??? because sleeping with your roommate could be the dumbness decision ever..

Learned a long time ago my stubborn ass needs to find lessons out the hard way. Went well though. Even if not, I can handle a 19 yr old chick.

 

[Skills]

Happens all the time man. Literally all the time.

Let me fix that for you, happens all the time to Guys with scarcity... horrible idea...

 

[gameboy]

I agree it's a bad idea, even warned OP about it. But still, done it myself, and heard from others doing it...

 

[Payload]

I get your concerns, however I decided to do it and learned some immensely valuable stuff. You may not like it, but it's not your choice. I also would like this thread to stay on topic and not derail into a discussion where everybody throws in their opinion with a one liner, I think there is a private message function implemented for that. Otherwise this will just derail into a useless sequence of clutter. Thank you.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Get my belt off, get off the bed and approach her from the side, telling her to suck this dick. She isn't really good, no suction, no tongue, still tell her she does a good job. Move her up, lay down and get her to suck my dick. Come over her face. Get her a tissue, we cuddle for like 1,5 hours.

lol

. I earnestly ask her why, which she kinda lights up at and compliments me how I have finally asked why.

THIS is where you almost unlocked the key to everything.

Lust wasn't your issue at all. It was a lack of a connection (love) and a lack of trust, because you have been building yourself up as this player and she believed it, because you're being as aggressive as any player.

You pretty much just beat your head against the wall and you got pretty far (got your dick sucked), but were completely missing any connection with her and trust (she trusts you actually care about her, even if it's just going to be sex).

she's inexperienced but HOW inexperienced. Is she a virgin? maybe I missed where you said if she is or not.

But yeah, there's very little connection building here and you just went full arousal/lust. That's fine, but you gotta be good at it.

You're also not giving her much time to build comfort that's why she's hesitant to fully give in.

This sounds like me when I was fully lust and just retardedly persistent with girls without pausing to create a connection in between my persistence. It doesn't need to be some deep conversation. A woman can gain trust from you just because you pause and calm yourself down. She can get a connection to you just by seeing you asking "WHY."

Objections from women should be treated like a philosophical dialogue.

Each time she gives a reason, you ask "why is that?" But you don't just retardedly say "why" over and over again. You need to get SPECIFIC and show that you're actually CONTEMPLATING what she's saying.

Objections = something that she isn't sure about...YET

So you need to fill the missing piece in her objections.

Push her a bit, she tells me she doesn't really know it, I finish her sentence how her bedroom is a safe space for her, which she feels comfortable in. She agrees, has concerns that she doesn't really know me.

Bam. It's a connection. She feels comfortable and turned on. You're very close, but also very far.

"You know what? You're right. How about we get to know each other tonight? I'm going to keep trying to fuck you, because you're so sexy and turn me on so much I can't help but touch you and kiss you - but let's get to know each other. I want to know everything about you and make you feel seen. I know you're leaving in a few months but let's enjoy the time we have together now, even if it's only tonight or for a little while longer."

While you talk to her you can hug her, lay on her lap, kiss her on the cheek, or just hold her hand.

You're forgetting the seduction in seduction. You're just tryna fuck. Which is fine, but you gotta run that game better.

Focus on building connections. It's good you're going for it and just being a dog. Every man needs that part, but you're not a dog - you're a man.

Build a connection by taking to girls and REALLY listening to them and wanting to get to know them.

Until you do that, you'll never be a seducer, just a guy who wants to fuck.

Hector

 

[Payload]

So yeah, she went cold in the meantime, I tried a yes-ladder on her. Innocuous first question whether she still has the earring she took from me and put on last time, followed by asking whether she enjoys our time together, clarifying that she feels a bit uncomfortable after the fact, that she likes me, she know I like her, she knows that I not only want her for her body. Conclude that we both like spending time together and that the only thing that is stopping us both from enjoying eachother is the fact that we both want an emotional connection we haven't built yet.

She is acting really aloof through all of this, only responds yes to the first question and thanks me in a sarcastic way with the other ones. Tells me to leave. I go out to approach some girls, only approach one but hey, it was my first official cold approach ever.

Texts me while I am out whether I am at home, just respond "No". I head back and text her at home that I will stay for a bit. She comes into my room and tells me she wants to continue this, how she enjoys it. I answer with likewise. Today (or yesterday by now) I initiated sex again and she stopped me at her pants.
Asked her what's holding her back, she tells me a story of how her first boyfriend only wanted her for the sex, I validate her feelings. Tells me multiple times it's silly of her and that when she broke up with him she made these rules about not getting to close to a man so she can't get her feelings hurt. Really had to think whether she wants to tell me this, but I encouraged her and told her I want to hear it if it's important to her.

I tell her it's not a silly story, but it's good she recognizes that these arbitrary rules are silly and that we can work on changing her view on how manwoman relationsships ought to be. Earnestly tell her that I want to leave her better than when she came here. After that we make out, I make her cum with fingers and tongue, she tells me it's amazing and that she feels like she's in heaven. Good little ego boost after the catastrophic events of when we last got naked. Mount her and cum over her stomach.

I stay the night with her and am writing this update with her sleeping next to me. So yeah, she really wants to be in "a serious relationship" for smb. to take her virginity, but we'll see about that.

 

[Freakester]

I would suggest you move on to the next girl bro.
After letting her down gently.

Leave her alone at this point.

If you really want to do this, set the frame right NOW. Honesty is very important right now.

"I am not going to pretend that I don't find you attractive but I am not looking to get into a relationship right now. And I won't be exclusive."

If she falls in love with you, you are fucked. She looks like the type that will get bitter.
She will cockblock or scare other girls off who you bring home.

She is your roommate which is another problem. You have to deal with the drama within your social circle.

 

[Will_V]

So yeah, she went cold in the meantime, I tried a yes-ladder on her. Innocuous first question whether she still has the earring she took from me and put on last time, followed by asking whether she enjoys our time together, clarifying that she feels a bit uncomfortable after the fact, that she likes me, she know I like her, she knows that I not only want her for her body. Conclude that we both like spending time together and that the only thing that is stopping us both from enjoying eachother is the fact that we both want an emotional connection we haven't built yet.

She is acting really aloof through all of this, only responds yes to the first question and thanks me in a sarcastic way with the other ones. Tells me to leave. I go out to approach some girls, only approach one but hey, it was my first official cold approach ever.

Texts me while I am out whether I am at home, just respond "No". I head back and text her at home that I will stay for a bit. She comes into my room and tells me she wants to continue this, how she enjoys it. I answer with likewise. Today (or yesterday by now) I initiated sex again and she stopped me at her pants.
Asked her what's holding her back, she tells me a story of how her first boyfriend only wanted her for the sex, I validate her feelings. Tells me multiple times it's silly of her and that when she broke up with him she made these rules about not getting to close to a man so she can't get her feelings hurt. Really had to think whether she wants to tell me this, but I encouraged her and told her I want to hear it if it's important to her.

I tell her it's not a silly story, but it's good she recognizes that these arbitrary rules are silly and that we can work on changing her view on how manwoman relationsships ought to be. Earnestly tell her that I want to leave her better than when she came here. After that we make out, I make her cum with fingers and tongue, she tells me it's amazing and that she feels like she's in heaven. Good little ego boost after the catastrophic events of when we last got naked. Mount her and cum over her stomach.

I stay the night with her and am writing this update with her sleeping next to me. So yeah, she really wants to be in "a serious relationship" for smb. to take her virginity, but we'll see about that.

Do you want a 'serious relationship'? If not this whole thing is going to turn very messy.

Either she's going to get hurt badly or you are going to get sucked into a relationship you didn't want in the first place.

Fine if you do want the relationship! But if you don't, you're setting up either her or yourself for a lot of pain. And I know because I've done the whole stupid thing of 'she thinks its a relationship but for me it's just practice' and it's one of the biggest regrets I have to this day.

The bottom line is that if you can't seduce a girl by being fairly honest about your intentions - and that doesn't mean being crudely up-front about it, but it does mean not going along with relationship cues and not pretending you're specifically looking for something when you're not - then it's best to let her go and find a girl who is ready for the sort of fun you want. And there are plenty of them around, and you will have much more fun and satisfaction with them.

 

[Payload]

I would suggest you move on to the next girl bro.
After letting her down gently.

Leave her alone at this point.

If you really want to do this, set the frame right NOW. Honesty is very important right now.

"I am not going to pretend that I don't find you attractive but I am not looking to get into a relationship right now. And I won't be exclusive."

If she falls in love with you, you are fucked. She looks like the type that will get bitter.
She will cockblock or scare other girls off who you bring home.

She is your roommate which is another problem. You have to deal with the drama within your social circle.

You are right. She is a sweet girl and I don't want to break her heart. Being roommates makes it really messy. I thought her being gone in a few months would make for some nice casual sex, but seeing as she is a virgin and that a few months is longer than it sounds like makes it seem like this situation won't have a happy ending.

 

[Payload]

Pillow talk notes the 2nd
- she thinks I am "cool" (probably mostly means dominant, couldn't describe it further to me)
-> "They way you stood there all cool in the kitchen when we first met and asked me questions made me really think about my answers" good fundamentals are the way to go
- I gotta stop with the constant touching. I am a really touchy-feely kind fo person, but I constantly fiddled with her body and kissed her to the point where it got annoying when she wanted to sleep. Way too thirsty. Confirms to her that all I want is sex.
-she wants that I am a "bad boy", calls me that and "can't resist me"

 

[Will_V]

You are right. She is a sweet girl and I don't want to break her heart. Being roommates makes it really messy. I thought her being gone in a few months would make for some nice casual sex, but seeing as she is a virgin and that a few months is longer than it sounds like makes it seem like this situation won't have a happy ending.

Shutting things down or lying to her are not your only options. You can be fairly clear with what you want and still have her submit to your frame. But you do have to be ready to accept a 'no'.

 

[Freakester]

You can still do it.
You need to set the frame though. Through honesty.

Your fundamental mistake was that you did not disqualify yourself as boyfriend material right when it started.

She might say no and if she does, that's cool too.

Tbh I wouldn't advise it. Since she has some baggage.

You are better off approaching other girls and getting them back home. Be ready for cockblocks/drama though.

You seriously need to friend zone her right now if you are going to bring other chicks home till she leaves your place.

 

[Payload]

I get you guys, will need to think about how I want to handle it. Tbh she is putting up walls around boyfriend behaviour/talking like it. She seems aware of the type of relationship she wants and steers clear of bf territory. It could be a front, I don't believe so however. Could still change in the future of course.

 

[gameboy]

Tbh she is putting up walls around boyfriend behaviour/talking like it. She seems aware of the type of relationship she wants and steers clear of bf territory.

Yes but fucking her and spending the night with her will change that. And the fact that you live together and see each other every day wil make it worse.

That's why you don't shit where you eat. Worse with inexperienced girls, really, because they are much more likely to catch feelings.

 

[gameboy]

Just gave it some more thought. Here's I would ideally play this:

So you probably won't be able to resist fucking her, since you're seeing each other on a daily basis and you both obviously want it to on a physical level (even though you both are having doubts). However, if you do fuck her, there's a significant danger of her catching feelings and getting hurt, which would be a mess basically for both of you.

I'd have a talk with her saying you shouldn't be doing this, telling her you enjoy it, but because you live together and she's leaving in a few months, you don't want her to fall in love and get hurt. Basically LJBF her, but without excluding the possibilty of being FWBs.

Ideally, leave it at that and focus on other girls. Which will probably turn her cold towards you if she sees you with others.

But if you're still gonna fuck her, the best way to go about it is probably this: Don't bring any girls home while she's living with you. It's just for a few months. You can still game them or fuck them elsewhere.

Keep being warm and friendly with your flatmate, but dial down the sexiness for a bit. Also no more lies ideally.

Having the history you already have with her, it's pretty much 100% sure that on some occasion or other you will end up fucking her anyway. And you will have set the right frame beforehand that the two of you won't be a couple, so the chances of hurting her are minimal. Also, after fucking her try not to sleep in the same bed, because that will only amplify the chances of her falling for you (or vice versa).

To reiterate, even though you set a frame of not being exclusive with her, just try not to bring any girls home because that will cause drama almost guaranteed.

Hope this helps!

 

[Payload]

Thanks for the advice. I have decided to stop things with her, mainly because we are just not looking for the same thing. I don't want to do some boyfriend dance just to get into her pants. She obviously enjoys our time together as well but has gone cold after the third time in a row which is such a huge turn off and just tells me she isn't what I am looking for and vice versa. Don't want a chick that isn't 100% sold on taking this D.

And to be honest, the fact that I am feeling relief having come to this conclusion tells me that this is the right thing to do for me. This was a slippery slope and I am glad I got off before I do something I'll come to regret.