"You like women too much" Buyer's remorse Meets Bad Logistics

[PaulieFlyn10]

This post is more like a rambling and just saying stuff that's on my mind. So I welcome you to share your perspectives and thoughts

In the past few months I've been trying something: How can I half escalate with bad Logistics without getting buyer's remorse.

Right now my logistics are shit for full pulls to sex locations. So I've been taking girls to slightly hidden locations to finger them and get blow jobs but no sex in the Hopes that it doesn't trigger buyer's remorse

As you may have guessed it has been a huge disaster. However, due to a few success stories I'm not giving up. Before I go further, the girls I tried this with are girls that are around where I stay and/or I can/will potentially run into them again (due to high risks)

Girl 1: We'll call Becky. A 5'7 brunettee with beautiful eyes. We made it all the way to blow jobs but couldn't continue. She got cold via text

Girl 2: Christabel. Same thing as above... I even cummed on her face. No P in V. Blocked

Girl 3: Rachel. No blow jobs. Has a bf. And left saying "You like girls a lot" she had previously seen me with some of my female co workers. I saw her buyer's remorse set in before she left. Blocked as well


About 30% of the girls I'm able to turn it around. With two ways: 1) Run into them. Like I did with all the girls above... I saw her a week later. We talked and I sealed the deal that night at her place.
Or 2) Use my bad logistics as a reason WHY I can't fuck them. So I make them want it but pull back with "cant do this here right now"


However 70% of these girls are hugely affected by buyers remorse and turning around via text is a huge hassle.

All of these led me once again down the rabbit hole of buyer's remorse.

The usual preventive measures are: 1) more comfort/trust 2) reward compliance 3) deep dive. If you have any more to add let me know. I do all that but there's something i over looked: Non-judgmental frames. Big mistake. Due to the fact that these escalation all happened on the first and were relatively fast... non judgemental frames would be crucial.


-Some cool things I found: 1) Going deep into kinks on first sex can trigger buyer's remorse. This is probably one of the biggest paradox in pick up. You see a girl have mind blowing orgasms, does anal links with you... willing to do anything on first sex... then by the next day she's like "nah no more. I feel like a slut.
It's a really interesting pointer to me. When I was growing up, I would hear girls say "I fucked him and it was good but I don't want to see him again" Yes, I know that there are other reasons like the guy just being a rebound or she looking for revenge etc.... But when I remember those conversations and how they described them, it was 100% buyers remorse.

2) Managing her physical and emotional wants/needs (managing her emotions) is the key to preventing this. Not really sure what this is. Is this the same as what I wrote above regarding comfort/trust and deep dive.

Having said that, what are the possibilities of going half way and preventing buyer's remorse? Would you recommend do more preventive stuff? (Before kissing etc) Or are there things you'd do after sexual escalations to prevent it. Or even things you'd recommend after she has the feeling of buyer's remorse

Thanks for reading

 

[KJ Francis]

As you may have guessed it has been a huge disaster

Lol yes, interesting experiment.

I see you mentioned deep diving. Have you tried in conjunction with this putting a screening spin on it? Like extra framing yourself as the prize as if it's one huge qualification session assessing her.

And instead of fully disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend, you mix the heavy non judgmental / second gen open minded stuff with dangling the possibility of LTR... But again through the filter of open-mindedness. As if you are looking for a wife who will be extremely sexually adventurous (though not anytime soon). Not in words, but in behavior.

***

I have one case of a girl it took like a year to take her virginity. After date 1 we only ever hung out in bed.

After two lays I had not locked her in yet with my dick and she realized I was no closer to being her boyfriend. Cue auto rejection. I had to reel her back in with warmth and the more emotional passionate lover side, talking in terms of her feelings for me.

It's a delicate balance. Recent text from her: "2 years is long enough to know you don't have the same feelings as mine".

***

Case 2, really bad logistics. She lives far. Only ever messed around in cars and parks outdoors. Known her for about three years. Text this morning from her: "I wish you were monogamous". Always bitches about me not texting her for a month, etc.

Key to this one was active listening, almost slipping into friend zone therapist but ruthlessly cutting it off not letting her yap endlessly (push/pull) mixed with total rascal behavior.

Result is she is fully aware of fuck boy tendencies but gets very upset at the idea of me having feelings for anyone.

***

Case 3, pure lover (non-LTR) frame, but almost like best friends frame. More open minded girl. First date she blew me in the cafe parking lot broad daylight. Laid second or third date, can't remember. Been going 2 years maybe?

Key was to let her talk a lot about whatever the fuck. Deadly combo... Good listener who escalates. Once I told her to keep talking and kept up the convo while escalating to sex, then her words stopped making sense and she said after "you sure know how to shut me up". But the point is I am still a good listener! Dangerously close to letting her trauma dump. But that's how she solidifies the feeling of connection to you. Always escalating.

***

I have definitely had buyers remorse when I was simply the throwaway fuckboy. So conclusion is to NOT slip onto full lover frame. Otherwise you are disposable.

I am NOT saying lie about LTR intentions. I can be brutally honest, but mixing that with being an active listener feeding back her present moment EMOTION while escalating. Franco's yin/yang concept.

Then you are RARE and attainable.

=chasing

 

[Spike]

What I did to help close girls when my logistics used to be shit is I would make wherever I was going to take her. Into something she’d want to do. I’d do this by sharing sex stories of having sex in unconventional places. Whether she has before or hasn’t doesn’t matter. I’d share a story about a previous encounter where I had sex with a girl in the same place I was about to take this current girl. Turn the girl on enough to where she’d want to try that. And then seal the deal. Whether it be on top of a rooftop. In the park behind the bushes. Car sex. Etc.

 

[KJ Francis]

Well yeah getting the lay is preferable

Another less preferable option if you are not specifically walking the pre-lay attainability tightrope is to experiment with taboo and approach cougars who live alone

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Lol yes, interesting experiment.

I see you mentioned deep diving. Have you tried in conjunction with this putting a screening spin on it? Like extra framing yourself as the prize as if it's one huge qualification session assessing her.

And instead of fully disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend, you mix the heavy non judgmental / second gen open minded stuff with dangling the possibility of LTR... But again through the filter of open-mindedness. As if you are looking for a wife who will be extremely sexually adventurous (though not anytime soon). Not in words, but in behavior.

***

I have one case of a girl it took like a year to take her virginity. After date 1 we only ever hung out in bed.

After two lays I had not locked her in yet with my dick and she realized I was no closer to being her boyfriend. Cue auto rejection. I had to reel her back in with warmth and the more emotional passionate lover side, talking in terms of her feelings for me.

It's a delicate balance. Recent text from her: "2 years is long enough to know you don't have the same feelings as mine".

***

Case 2, really bad logistics. She lives far. Only ever messed around in cars and parks outdoors. Known her for about three years. Text this morning from her: "I wish you were monogamous". Always bitches about me not texting her for a month, etc.

Key to this one was active listening, almost slipping into friend zone therapist but ruthlessly cutting it off not letting her yap endlessly (push/pull) mixed with total rascal behavior.

Result is she is fully aware of fuck boy tendencies but gets very upset at the idea of me having feelings for anyone.

***

Case 3, pure lover (non-LTR) frame, but almost like best friends frame. More open minded girl. First date she blew me in the cafe parking lot broad daylight. Laid second or third date, can't remember. Been going 2 years maybe?

Key was to let her talk a lot about whatever the fuck. Deadly combo... Good listener who escalates. Once I told her to keep talking and kept up the convo while escalating to sex, then her words stopped making sense and she said after "you sure know how to shut me up". But the point is I am still a good listener! Dangerously close to letting her trauma dump. But that's how she solidifies the feeling of connection to you. Always escalating.

***

I have definitely had buyers remorse when I was simply the throwaway fuckboy. So conclusion is to NOT slip onto full lover frame. Otherwise you are disposable.

I am NOT saying lie about LTR intentions. I can be brutally honest, but mixing that with being an active listener feeding back her present moment EMOTION while escalating. Franco's yin/yang concept.

Then you are RARE and attainable.

=chasing

Well put.... love the detailed response. Yes, I do feel this your tactic can work.

Amping up the boy friend potential a bit and getting her to open up more .. almost close to being her therapist. Sounds like a good strategy

And it falls in line with my thoughts. My plan was to increase more of the comfort and connection stuff with deep dives and qualification.... kind of what you suggested

So... we'll see how that goes. I plan on doing this after the first kiss... then continuing the sexual escalation

Does Franco have a book where he talked about that