"You like women too much" Buyer's remorse Meets Bad Logistics

[PaulieFlyn10]

This post is more like a rambling and just saying stuff that's on my mind. So I welcome you to share your perspectives and thoughts

In the past few months I've been trying something: How can I half escalate with bad Logistics without getting buyer's remorse.

Right now my logistics are shit for full pulls to sex locations. So I've been taking girls to slightly hidden locations to finger them and get blow jobs but no sex in the Hopes that it doesn't trigger buyer's remorse

As you may have guessed it has been a huge disaster. However, due to a few success stories I'm not giving up. Before I go further, the girls I tried this with are girls that are around where I stay and/or I can/will potentially run into them again (due to high risks)

Girl 1: We'll call Becky. A 5'7 brunettee with beautiful eyes. We made it all the way to blow jobs but couldn't continue. She got cold via text

Girl 2: Christabel. Same thing as above... I even cummed on her face. No P in V. Blocked

Girl 3: Rachel. No blow jobs. Has a bf. And left saying "You like girls a lot" she had previously seen me with some of my female co workers. I saw her buyer's remorse set in before she left. Blocked as well


About 30% of the girls I'm able to turn it around. With two ways: 1) Run into them. Like I did with all the girls above... I saw her a week later. We talked and I sealed the deal that night at her place.
Or 2) Use my bad logistics as a reason WHY I can't fuck them. So I make them want it but pull back with "cant do this here right now"


However 70% of these girls are hugely affected by buyers remorse and turning around via text is a huge hassle.

All of these led me once again down the rabbit hole of buyer's remorse.

The usual preventive measures are: 1) more comfort/trust 2) reward compliance 3) deep dive. If you have any more to add let me know. I do all that but there's something i over looked: Non-judgmental frames. Big mistake. Due to the fact that these escalation all happened on the first and were relatively fast... non judgemental frames would be crucial.


-Some cool things I found: 1) Going deep into kinks on first sex can trigger buyer's remorse. This is probably one of the biggest paradox in pick up. You see a girl have mind blowing orgasms, does anal links with you... willing to do anything on first sex... then by the next day she's like "nah no more. I feel like a slut.
It's a really interesting pointer to me. When I was growing up, I would hear girls say "I fucked him and it was good but I don't want to see him again" Yes, I know that there are other reasons like the guy just being a rebound or she looking for revenge etc.... But when I remember those conversations and how they described them, it was 100% buyers remorse.

2) Managing her physical and emotional wants/needs (managing her emotions) is the key to preventing this. Not really sure what this is. Is this the same as what I wrote above regarding comfort/trust and deep dive.

Having said that, what are the possibilities of going half way and preventing buyer's remorse? Would you recommend do more preventive stuff? (Before kissing etc) Or are there things you'd do after sexual escalations to prevent it. Or even things you'd recommend after she has the feeling of buyer's remorse

Thanks for reading

 

[KJ Francis]

As you may have guessed it has been a huge disaster

Lol yes, interesting experiment.

I see you mentioned deep diving. Have you tried in conjunction with this putting a screening spin on it? Like extra framing yourself as the prize as if it's one huge qualification session assessing her.

And instead of fully disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend, you mix the heavy non judgmental / second gen open minded stuff with dangling the possibility of LTR... But again through the filter of open-mindedness. As if you are looking for a wife who will be extremely sexually adventurous (though not anytime soon). Not in words, but in behavior.

***

I have one case of a girl it took like a year to take her virginity. After date 1 we only ever hung out in bed.

After two lays I had not locked her in yet with my dick and she realized I was no closer to being her boyfriend. Cue auto rejection. I had to reel her back in with warmth and the more emotional passionate lover side, talking in terms of her feelings for me.

It's a delicate balance. Recent text from her: "2 years is long enough to know you don't have the same feelings as mine".

***

Case 2, really bad logistics. She lives far. Only ever messed around in cars and parks outdoors. Known her for about three years. Text this morning from her: "I wish you were monogamous". Always bitches about me not texting her for a month, etc.

Key to this one was active listening, almost slipping into friend zone therapist but ruthlessly cutting it off not letting her yap endlessly (push/pull) mixed with total rascal behavior.

Result is she is fully aware of fuck boy tendencies but gets very upset at the idea of me having feelings for anyone.

***

Case 3, pure lover (non-LTR) frame, but almost like best friends frame. More open minded girl. First date she blew me in the cafe parking lot broad daylight. Laid second or third date, can't remember. Been going 2 years maybe?

Key was to let her talk a lot about whatever the fuck. Deadly combo... Good listener who escalates. Once I told her to keep talking and kept up the convo while escalating to sex, then her words stopped making sense and she said after "you sure know how to shut me up". But the point is I am still a good listener! Dangerously close to letting her trauma dump. But that's how she solidifies the feeling of connection to you. Always escalating.

***

I have definitely had buyers remorse when I was simply the throwaway fuckboy. So conclusion is to NOT slip onto full lover frame. Otherwise you are disposable.

I am NOT saying lie about LTR intentions. I can be brutally honest, but mixing that with being an active listener feeding back her present moment EMOTION while escalating. Franco's yin/yang concept.

Then you are RARE and attainable.

=chasing

 

[Spike]

What I did to help close girls when my logistics used to be shit is I would make wherever I was going to take her. Into something she’d want to do. I’d do this by sharing sex stories of having sex in unconventional places. Whether she has before or hasn’t doesn’t matter. I’d share a story about a previous encounter where I had sex with a girl in the same place I was about to take this current girl. Turn the girl on enough to where she’d want to try that. And then seal the deal. Whether it be on top of a rooftop. In the park behind the bushes. Car sex. Etc.

 

[KJ Francis]

Well yeah getting the lay is preferable

Another less preferable option if you are not specifically walking the pre-lay attainability tightrope is to experiment with taboo and approach cougars who live alone

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Lol yes, interesting experiment.

I see you mentioned deep diving. Have you tried in conjunction with this putting a screening spin on it? Like extra framing yourself as the prize as if it's one huge qualification session assessing her.

And instead of fully disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend, you mix the heavy non judgmental / second gen open minded stuff with dangling the possibility of LTR... But again through the filter of open-mindedness. As if you are looking for a wife who will be extremely sexually adventurous (though not anytime soon). Not in words, but in behavior.

***

I have one case of a girl it took like a year to take her virginity. After date 1 we only ever hung out in bed.

After two lays I had not locked her in yet with my dick and she realized I was no closer to being her boyfriend. Cue auto rejection. I had to reel her back in with warmth and the more emotional passionate lover side, talking in terms of her feelings for me.

It's a delicate balance. Recent text from her: "2 years is long enough to know you don't have the same feelings as mine".

***

Case 2, really bad logistics. She lives far. Only ever messed around in cars and parks outdoors. Known her for about three years. Text this morning from her: "I wish you were monogamous". Always bitches about me not texting her for a month, etc.

Key to this one was active listening, almost slipping into friend zone therapist but ruthlessly cutting it off not letting her yap endlessly (push/pull) mixed with total rascal behavior.

Result is she is fully aware of fuck boy tendencies but gets very upset at the idea of me having feelings for anyone.

***

Case 3, pure lover (non-LTR) frame, but almost like best friends frame. More open minded girl. First date she blew me in the cafe parking lot broad daylight. Laid second or third date, can't remember. Been going 2 years maybe?

Key was to let her talk a lot about whatever the fuck. Deadly combo... Good listener who escalates. Once I told her to keep talking and kept up the convo while escalating to sex, then her words stopped making sense and she said after "you sure know how to shut me up". But the point is I am still a good listener! Dangerously close to letting her trauma dump. But that's how she solidifies the feeling of connection to you. Always escalating.

***

I have definitely had buyers remorse when I was simply the throwaway fuckboy. So conclusion is to NOT slip onto full lover frame. Otherwise you are disposable.

I am NOT saying lie about LTR intentions. I can be brutally honest, but mixing that with being an active listener feeding back her present moment EMOTION while escalating. Franco's yin/yang concept.

Then you are RARE and attainable.

=chasing

Well put.... love the detailed response. Yes, I do feel this your tactic can work.

Amping up the boy friend potential a bit and getting her to open up more .. almost close to being her therapist. Sounds like a good strategy

And it falls in line with my thoughts. My plan was to increase more of the comfort and connection stuff with deep dives and qualification.... kind of what you suggested

So... we'll see how that goes. I plan on doing this after the first kiss... then continuing the sexual escalation

Does Franco have a book where he talked about that

 

[KJ Francis]

Well put.... love the detailed response. Yes, I do feel this your tactic can work.

Amping up the boy friend potential a bit and getting her to open up more .. almost close to being her therapist. Sounds like a good strategy

And it falls in line with my thoughts. My plan was to increase more of the comfort and connection stuff with deep dives and qualification.... kind of what you suggested

So... we'll see how that goes. I plan on doing this after the first kiss... then continuing the sexual escalation

Does Franco have a book where he talked about that

Yep I believe it's in How to Sleep With Any Woman You Want. There's a Yin chapter and a Yang chapter.

I really do not like playing actual therapist but it is not letting her use you. I get the sense you have the awareness to know how to calibrate it though.

Franco's Yin stuff is more like just active feminine listening while bouncing back and forth between the Yang escalation or sexual comments, fairly rapidly (faster than Chase's concept of "coming up for air" to tease her intermittently). The "therapist" stuff is more the prolonged deep diving concept of the more she shares the more connected she is. So if it gets into heavy topics you just understand her more than anyone ever has, but it has to be balanced with man-to-woman.

Actually balancing with Grandmaster style really... Extremes of polarity.

 

[Levo]

Unless your goal is one night stands in the woods or whatever then this is a comfort issue.

Escalating without closing will usually cause some kind of buyers remorse. Being too sexual without enough comfort will cause them to call you a player (you like girls) and get scared off.

If you just slow down a bit and build more comfort she will invite you to her place to fuck. When girls want to fuck you they will help make it happen.

 

[KJ Francis]

The Four M3 Sequencing Mistakes
1. SEDUCTION FIRST — to start at the end. [fool's mate - problem 1. an experienced chess player will not even attempt a fast fool's mate for, if the opponent doesn't take the bait, he leaves the player in a weak position; problem 2. selecting for propensity for ONS]
2. COMFORT FIRST — to start in the middle. [telegraphs sexual interest; nice guy -> protection shield from girls who gets hit on a lot]
3. ATTRACTION BUT NO COMFORT - to start at the beginning but skip the middle and go straight to the end. [the player]

The Three Player Traps:
1 . NOT JUSTIFYING A MUTUAL ATTRACTION. [A2 IOIs, then without A3 qualifying, player played with her emotions to win a score]
2. DISREGARDING COMFORT. [otherwise she feels.......... uncomfortable]
3. BUYER'S REMORSE [point of no return exists where kissing turns into foreplay without enough comfort]

4. ATTRACTION AND COMFORT ONLY — to start at the beginning but get stuck in the middle. [friend zone]

To recap, the problems associated with improper M3 sequencing are:
1. Starting at the end —fool's mate problems
2. Starting at the middle —protection shield problems
3. Starting at the beginning but skipping the middle = buyer's remorse
problems
4. Starting at the beginning but getting stuck in the middle = friendship
zone problems

Venusian Arts Handbook, pg 50-63

 

[KJ Francis]

Note S1-3 is physical escalation further than kissing and/or isolation, not sexual framing

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Unless your goal is one night stands in the woods or whatever then this is a comfort issue.

Escalating without closing will usually cause some kind of buyers remorse. Being too sexual without enough comfort will cause them to call you a player (you like girls) and get scared off.

If you just slow down a bit and build more comfort she will invite you to her place to fuck. When girls want to fuck you they will help make it happen.

Yeah... I get that. My question: Is it possible to go half way in escalation (without p in v) WITHOUT triggering buyer's remorse.... Or is it just inevitable

I'm thinking of amping up the comfort both before and after. Also any idea how deep in comfort you'd go?

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Venusian Arts Handbook, pg 50-63

Not bad from Mystery. Good stuff

 

[Levo]

Yeah... I get that. My question: Is it possible to go half way in escalation (without p in v) WITHOUT triggering buyer's remorse.... Or is it just inevitable

I'm thinking of amping up the comfort both before and after. Also any idea how deep in comfort you'd go?

Personally I dont even try and kiss them unless I'm somewhere we can have sex. Maybe a kiss goodbye real quick not nothing hardcore.

Let the sexual framing and subcoms do their work of letting her know youre interested. If you physically try anything it will lead to buyers remorse more often than not.

She should be imagining whats its going to be like to be with you, not thinking about how that hot guy she barely knew escalated at an improper time and shes 100% certain when you call her back its going to be cuz you want to close the deal.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

This post is more like a rambling and just saying stuff that's on my mind. So I welcome you to share your perspectives and thoughts

In the past few months I've been trying something: How can I half escalate with bad Logistics without getting buyer's remorse.

Right now my logistics are shit for full pulls to sex locations. So I've been taking girls to slightly hidden locations to finger them and get blow jobs but no sex in the Hopes that it doesn't trigger buyer's remorse

Why are you only half escalating ?

You can escalate all the way to vaginal sex in these hidden locations but you said there are only slightly hidden so you're at risk of public indecency if you get caught.

Well, you can rely on inviting yourself over to their places if your logistics are that bad at least to make sure you can see things to the very end.

This may help too

Anti-Logistics: Picking Up When You Have No Logistics

How do you pull girls without logistics? With an advanced strategy dubbed ‘anti-logistics’: you get HER to solve the logistics HERSELF! Contents I. Pulling with No Logistics II. The No Logistics Game III. The Power of Anti-Logistics IV. Conclusion Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all...

www.girlschase.com

(I know you may know some of the things I'm going to say but I'm just going to say them regardless if others may need help too)

You have two options when it comes to escalation:

We Are Not Having Sex Tonight: What Happens When You Don’t

We've been seeing more comments from readers lately asking about situations like what Mike ran into the other day as remarked on the "How to Steal a Girl" article: “Hey Chase, I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't...

www.girlschase.com

• If you're not going to close things out and get to penetrative vaginal sex then and there, don't escalate
• If you CAN do the deed - then do it
  
  
  You should always aim to get to vaginal sex everytime you escalate .I'm not saying you should force yourself on girls btw for any beginners out there who may misread this ,so do mind her resistance ....you might want to call things off is she's resisting heavily and is clearly not into you .
  
  How do you walk that fine line of not getting yourself into trouble and not bailing just because she resisted
  
  

  

  When Does ‘No’ Actually Mean ‘No’?

  When does no mean no? As the lines of consent increasingly blur, today’s men find themselves caught in a sexual Catch-22. You’re somewhere private with a girl... kissing, caressing, running hands on one another’s bodies. And then you go to lift her shirt up. “No,” she says. It’s not a firm ‘no’...

  www.girlschase.com

  
  Anyway, back to you Paulie ...
  
  Women will think of you as a man unable to impel women to mate if you don't close things out and closing things out means mating -getting inside of her .Oral,anal ,blow jobs , or hand jobs don't count as mating .Getting inside of her ....dick in pussy is .
  
  Articles that give you a better idea and relate to what I'm getting at-
  
  

  

  We Are Not Having Sex Tonight: What Happens When You Don’t

  We've been seeing more comments from readers lately asking about situations like what Mike ran into the other day as remarked on the "How to Steal a Girl" article: “Hey Chase, I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't...

  www.girlschase.com

  
  

  

  Tactics Tuesdays: Recovering from Botched Escalations to Sex

  When you try to have sex with a girl, but fail, often that's it: you won't get another shot with her. Yet all is not lost with her – you still have options. Failing in your escalation to sex is, often, a kiss of death. You were inches away from intimacy with a girl... and then you didn't reach...

  www.girlschase.com

  
  Wish I could highlight the points out but that will make this post very long .
  
  If you're going for blowjobs or fingering them in these locations you are talking about ,you might as well go for dick in pussy too so that you can unlock that level then pull back to theirs for full sex if that's what you want
  
  Once you've been intimate somewhere already (that is, you've had sexual intercourse with her... not kissing, oral sex, etc.), it's much easier to get intimate again later in more comfortable environs.
  
  

  

  Sex Logistics: How to Get Intimate in Unusual Places

  In "Book Excerpts: Get Girls in Bed (Without a Bed)," I mention a number of different places you can escalate to intimacy with women without being in bed at your home or her home, and a few of the details on doing so. However, guys have continued to ask about how exactly to pull this off...

  www.girlschase.com

  However 70% of these girls are hugely affected by buyers remorse and turning around via text is a huge hassle.

  Always will be .That is why you have to get to vaginal sex everytime you choose to escalate
  
  It's often hard to turn things around with girls you failed to close, and after they've gone cold you without it being chasing.Exceptions exist of course but most of the time you'll be toast
  
  
  

  Tactics Tuesdays: Recovering from Botched Escalations to Sex

  When you try to have sex with a girl, but fail, often that's it: you won't get another shot with her. Yet all is not lost with her – you still have options. Failing in your escalation to sex is, often, a kiss of death. You were inches away from intimacy with a girl... and then you didn't reach...

  www.girlschase.com
  
  
  

  We Are Not Having Sex Tonight: What Happens When You Don’t

  We've been seeing more comments from readers lately asking about situations like what Mike ran into the other day as remarked on the "How to Steal a Girl" article: “Hey Chase, I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't...

  www.girlschase.com
  
  If you are all about moving fast well then you better deliver the goods brother else attraction expires
  
  
  

  Having said that, what are the possibilities of going half way and preventing buyer's remorse?

  I haven't heard of any unless she's really really into you .And why would you want to go half way if she really likes you and you like her too?
  
  

  Would you recommend do more preventive stuff? (Before kissing etc)

  Hope the things I said above help
  
  
  

  Or are there things you'd do after sexual escalations to prevent it

  
  
  

  The Post-Coital Tone

  One of the things that’s hugely important to remember to do after you sleep with a girl for the first time is to set the post-coital tone. That is, to let your girl know, to some degree, what she can expect from you, and what you expect from her.

  www.girlschase.com

  
  

  

  How to Prevent Sex Regret from Women You Sleep With

  Something that's been a hot topic on the discussion boards lately has been the subject of buyer's remorse and sex regret, and also more generally women just acting weird after sex happens fast. As you push the boundaries of what you can achieve with women and seduction, you'll find your...

  www.girlschase.com

  Or even things you'd recommend after she has the feeling of buyer's remorse

  Beats me .Girls have all the power after they go cold on you
  
  
  How do you recover from such a situation? Not by chasing. Chasing only makes it worse. When she’s feeling bitter and resentful and telling herself that she doesn’t like you and didn’t really want you anyway, running after her and working to try and get her won’t turn things around; it’ll only make them worse.
  
  Unfortunately, there’s actually no solid answer on how to recover from a mistake like this, and also unfortunately it’s one of the questions I hear the most: “How do I fix it with this girl who went cold on me?” It sucks, I know, I’ve been there more times than I can count. But just like it’s easier to avoid a car accident than it is to fix a mangled wreck, and it’s easier to keep a job you already have than it is to get back one you’ve lost, so it is with girls who like you: it’s far, far, FAR easier to get a girl if you get her while she still likes you, than it is to try and turn things around and find a way to get her after the window has closed/or after she goes cold on you
  
  
  

  Escalation Windows

  Just received the following email from a reader, who was kind enough to allow me to reprint here, preferring to remain anonymous. He asks: Hey Chase, I'm not sure if your one to give feedback to random readers of your blog but I was hoping I could get help with this girl. I met her at a party a...

  www.girlschase.com
  
  Article title may sound different but gives you insights with regards to such situations in a way
  
  I'm also not sure if you are going for the hard sell when pulling girls to these hidden locations...in case you are, this answers your overall question perfectly
  
  
  

  Ego Depletion (and Keeping Women Around)

  Apologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on...

  www.girlschase.com
  
  -------------------------------------
  
  I have to be somewhere now so apologies if my thoughts came off "jumpy"
  
  
  Hope I helped
  
  
  ​