Zucchini's Daygame Journal

[phuasjn2]

felt a little paranoid about going to the same places over and over and having them "dry up" by repeat approaching girls I had already met or earning a reputation as "that pickup guy".

Don't worry about that. I have been sarging weekly at the same places and I don't think I have seen any girl twice. Besides if u really see the same girl, just say oh I saw u before somewhere u look really familiar but I cant really remember where. She will most likely agree with you and you can use that to connect with her better.

In fact, there were even times where I opened the same girl again 15 minutes later after the first approach. The first approach, we broke apart amicably but I realized I didn't get her number so I went back again.

I've been getting more of the blank stare / blow off rejection recently.

Whenever I get that blank stare or dubious look from woman multiple times in a row, it was them signaling to me that my body language was off. I approach shorter girls a lot because they are my type.

One of the key things I learnt was to never tilt your head down to face her when opening. Every time I tilt my head down when opening, I get terrible responses. One fat girl I remembered even frowned at me when I opened her with my head down and I was only asking her for directions! Nowadays, it's almost automatic to keep my head high and focus my gaze downwards when speaking to women.

 

[Zucchini]

07/05/22​

Journal​

I've taken a short break over the last few days. After talking with my coach, I've decided to focus on relaxing with women, staying present, and starting to act like the 10/10 confident version of myself.

This week I have a goal to change my thought process when approaching women. I will worry less about tactics and techniques, and instead focus on staying calm and thinking positively. I will also take more time off from approaching and be more purposeful about my approaches. This means I will also look for signs of disinterest from women, and not force myself to approach women who give myself signs of disinterest; I've already proven that I can approach women.

​

Goals for this outing​

1. Before approaching a woman, take a deep breath.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Look for signs of disinterest from women.

Outing​

I ended up starting situational conversations with a couple of girls throughout the day, but I didn't enter many substantial interactions with women. I wasn't putting pressure on myself to approach. However I did spot an opportunity I couldn't resist.

Girl #1​

I was at a coffee shop when I noticed a cute girl on her laptop within my peripheral vision. I sat down a little behind her after ordering, and then I start hearing clicking noises. I wait a moment before looking over; she's playing a video game I like. I pause for a moment, then walk over to her side.

"Excuse me," I said. She looks over, seeming a little surprised, and looking like she's expecting me to ask her to move. "I just saw you were playing [video game name]. I love that game."

She seemed to relax a little and started acting more cute, telling me not to look at how bad she was doing. I smiled and got into a conversation with her about the game, and gave her some advice for her current situation in the game.

My order was called. "Okay, hold on one second, I want to keep talking with you about this," I said. I grabbed my drink, came back, and pulled up a chair. "Do you mind if I join you briefly? I have a few minutes of time."

She said sure with a little hesitation, so I introduced myself and then started playing the game together with her. She was trying out a new strategy and didn't know how it worked, so I instructed her. It was a pretty niche conversation, so I won't detail everything here.

Throughout I employed touches on the arm and elbow to emphasize points, congratulating her on good decisions, or celebrating lucky moments. There wasn't too much eye contact from her; she was focused on the screen, and I didn't know if that was a bad sign. However she did end up following my lead and did what I instructed her to do, which led to her doing pretty well in the match.

I noticed she became more animated and relaxed over time. I teased her by asking if she was a streamer, because she had great streamer-like reactions. I personally focused on being chill and not trying too hard to "game" her, and instead be present and allow my fundamentals to be naturally expressed.

After about 25-30 minutes we finished the match and I congratulated her. She made eye contact with me now that the game was finished, and I touched her on the elbow.

"That was a lot of fun. We should hang out sometime," I suggested. She agreed, and when I asked to get her contact information, she pulled out her phone. I created a contact for myself then sent myself a text from her phone.

"Okay, I really gotta go now," I told her. She laughed and said she had been wondering since I said I only had a few minutes. I shrugged. "I was having too much fun and I got invested. Anyway, need to go. Good luck!"

I gave her a touch on the upper arm, smiled, and walked out. I ended up being late to my appointment, but I think being distracted by a cute girl was a good excuse.

Reflection​

Today I saw an opportunity and capitalized on it without getting too nervous. I did succeed in relaxing and being present and comfortable with a girl. However I once again forgot to remind myself of my goals prior to approach. Next time I can take a deep breath before I approach to maximize my mindfulness. I can also remind myself to envision confidence when approaching.

I only touched her on the arm since we were seated next to each other, but I could have tried touches on the knee as well, or even wrapped an arm around her shoulder during moments of celebration.

I didn't really learn anything about her but we connected on a common interest. She asked me a couple questions later after awhile, but I maybe could've employed baiting to attract her interest some more. I could've also tried different compliance tests since I wasn't certain of her interest levels.

 

[Zucchini]

07/07/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Make eye contact with women and resist the discomfort of feeling like I am staring at random people.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Look for signs of disinterest from women.

Outing​

This report is for yesterday, when I went out to a popular mall / shopping area. I was concerned that I wasn't doing many approaches this week and wanted to take action. I also wanted to improve my comfort with looking at people who weren't looking at me; I felt self conscious about staring at people but have realized that this habit has also led me to miss approach invitations because I am not paying attention.

In today's report I will also include some non-approaches which were noteworthy to me.

Girl #1​

While walking down a shopping street towards the mall, I was concerned that I wasn't warmed up, and wanted to start socializing quickly. I saw someone sitting on a chair ahead with a cool patterned shirt, bandana, and sunglasses. They could've been a feminine looking guy, but talking to anyone was fine for socializing, so I decided to warm up by giving them a compliment. To my surprise, it was actually a girl; she just looked a little masculine because she had her hair in a bun and wore a bandana.

I chatted with her a bit about her style, and asked where she got her clothing. This led to her telling me she got it from Hawaii, where she was originally from, and we chatted about that for a bit. She showed some interest by asking me where I was from. I took that as an opportunity to introduce myself and use a handclasp, and I noticed she held my hand a little longer than just a polite greeting. I closed shortly after by saying I had to go but suggested we hang out and we exchanged numbers.

She was waiting for a friend who walked up to us just as I was sending a message to myself from her phone. I smiled to her friend and explained the context to try and leave a positive impression, then left.

Girl #2​

I saw a girl waiting at a stoplight crossing the street to the mall. I walked beside her, stood for a second, then waved to catch her attention. "Excuse me, I just loved your hair. It's got a great texture," I said. This may have been a lackluster opener...I probably could have injected more excitement into it, and I could've used a more colorful compliment.

She had a lukewarm response, thanking me but also stepping back and looking away. She seemed uncomfortable so I disengaged, but I stood in the same place and just looked away since I was still waiting for the light. I waited about 6 seconds and then reengaged, "Just out shopping today?"

Her response was still lukewarm, but seemed slightly more relaxed. I nodded and looked away again, waiting about 12 seconds before engaging again. "By the way, do you know where [newly opened food place] is? I'm trying to find it."

We talked a little, and she seemed more comfortable now. I employed light teasing and a couple touches on the elbow, and I also asked about what she was up to that day. She shared some information, but I was waiting to see if she would decide to ask questions or show signs of interest. She didn't so we eventually fell into a bit of an awkward silence and I let it hang.

Eventually we got to a crossroads and I said my farewells. I think this was a case of a girl being polite but not interested...that said, maybe if I showed more excitement initially, that emotion might have transferred to her.

Girl #3​

While walking through the mall, I saw a cute girl wearing colorful patterned pants walking in my direction. She didn't seem to be looking at me, but once she was within speaking distance, I tried a frontal opener. "Wow...I love your pants. They're so colorful," I said.

This was one of the first time I had used the frontal opener so spontaneously. She thanked me but didn't stop and kept walking. I also hadn't stopped, so maybe I could've improved the nonverbals of this approaching by stopping and holding me hand up while she approached.

Girl #4​

I saw a cute girl standing walking in my direction. I thought we might've made eye contact. She was approaching a hallway of the mall that was separated by a plant barrier down the middle. The left side was slightly closer to her, but I was on the right side, and I saw her take the right side. I guessed this might have been an approach invitation, so I stopped once she was close and said, "Wow, I love your outfit."

She thanked me but kept walking. I had been a little nervous when I opened and maybe didn't express much excitement or positivity. Although I stopped, I hadn't held my hand up to ask her to stop too.

Girl #5 (Non-approach)​

In a hallway I see a girl standing still and looking at her phone. She looks up in my direction and I think we might've made eye contact, but she also might've been looking behind me. As I get closer, she decides to start walking in my direction. She starts looking at her phone instead of forward, but is literally walking straight towards me; we almost collide. At that moment she looks up and we make eye contact. I try to gauge her expression, which seems blank, but it is also covered by a mask. After 0-1 seconds she breaks eye contact (in a way similar to people who were not interested in me) and keeps walking, moving around me.

This one confused me, and I didn't open her. This girl literally walked straight towards me, but she also showed signs of disinterest. Could it just be a coincidence, and she was actually looking at something or someone right behind me?

Girl #6 (Non-approach)​

I am walking towards a cute girl. We might have made eye contact...but after last time, I felt she also could've just been looking forward in my direction. She potentially breaks eye contact with me and looks off in a different direction, and I thought nothing of it. But, after reflection, she might've actually broken eye contact downwards rather than to the side. It was subtle because there wasn't a lot of movement...her eyes shifted position to look at chest level rather than head level. I should pay more attention to subtle eye contact breaks and try testing if they are signs of interest.

Girl #7​

While walking, I see a cute girl walking, but not in my direction. I continue walking a short distance at a leisurely pace when all of a sudden this girl appears right beside me. There's a small space between me and the wall on my right side, and a slightly larger distance between me and the railing on my left side. She chooses to squeeze through the right side and walks right past me. Her pace is a little faster than mine but it would've been easy to catch up.

I consider whether or not this was an invitation for about 15-20 seconds, in which time she ends up a small distance away from me. I decide to approach by jogging up to her side and saying, "Excuse me..."

I notice her look a little confused, and she steps back like she is wary of me. I didn't see it before, but she is wearing a mask. I continue in a more subdued way "I just like your backpack. Where did you get it?"

She starts walking away while saying she got it online somewhere. I take it as a sign of disinterest, but I also felt confused because I thought she was giving approach invitations to catch my attention. Could she have just walked past me by coincidence?

Girl #8​

I stood just outside an outdoor entrance to the mall, looking at my phone, when I noticed a woman walk by and stop about a meter away from me. There was nothing interesting about where she was standing, and it was also in the sun rather than in the shade were I was. She just stood there looking at something else in the distance, but I guessed it might've been an approach invitation.

I took a few steps towards her and complimented her hair tie, but she looked at me with a blank expression. I noticed she's a bit older than women I am usually attracted to, but I continue explaining the things I liked about her flowery hair tie. She eventually interrupts and says that she doesn't speak English. I say no worries and simplify my explanation, and use my body language to convey the compliment, then I bid her farewell.

If it was an approach invitation, I would've expected this woman to give me positive reaction when I started speaking to her, even if she didn't understand my words. Was she just standing there by coincidence? Or is this a common occurrence with approach invitations?

Girl #9​

I saw a girl sitting down in a food court. There didn't seem to be a great angle to approach from, so I debated whether or not to approach, but decided I would try. It was difficult to do a double take because she was sitting at a table with an empty table to her side. There was only a small gap between her and the other table, so I had to go around the empty table. This created distance and a barrier between us when I pretended to notice, said hello, and then gave my opener. She had a blank, neutral reaction and it felt like there were a spectators around so I disengaged right after I gave my compliment. This may have been a situation where I had to sit down and go indirect instead.

Girl #10​

After ordering a drink from a coffee shop, I walked outside to wait for my order. I noticed a cute girl sitting down at a table with her back to me, looking at her phone. I waled past her at first and stood in place, checking out the street. After a minute I turned around and walked back, pretending to just notice her; I did notice that she was also cute from the front.

I walked up to her, and said, "Excuse me...I just saw you over here and I really liked your outfit...I'm Zucchini." I was more subdued and didn't put too much enthusiasm into it, because there were plenty of people around and I didn't want them to stare at us. This may have been a mistake; I could have used relaxed body language while still putting more excitement into my voice and facial expression.

In any case, my opener felt a little awkward but I pushed forward. I started asking what she was up to, and I learned that she was shopping for a birthday gift for her friend's birthday party in the evening. I teased her about getting it ready last minute, and then touched her on the shoulder while assuring her that it was ok. She had a subtle reaction to the touch, which I guessed was discomfort, so I pulled back on the touch.

I started talking a little more about myself, telling her a short story about what I was shopping for and why. She gave me some suggestions on where I might find the items, and I teased that she was so stylish and knowledgeable about men's fashion. She denied it in a friendly way, but I persisted, saying that she was clearly stylish as evidenced by her outfit. I pointed out a few color choices I liked.

I felt a little lost here, so I continued asking some basic questions, like whether she lived nearby. I probably could've phrased some of these differently because they might've seemed invasive and this girl didn't seem very comfortable. For example, "Are you from around here?" instead of "Do you live nearby?" because my intentions come across less stalkery with the former. Latter might be good if we have a good vibe though.

Eventually she said she needed to respond to an email. I said no problem and took that as her excuse to disengage. Her body language hadn't changed much through the interaction, so I suspected she might've just been uninterested. I continued standing there, but facing my body away and taking a couple steps back, in case she really just needed to respond but wanted to keep talking. That didn't happen and she walked away to grab her order without saying a word.

Girl #11​

While walking, I saw a girl sitting down at a table on her laptop. From a distance she didn't seem like an attractive woman, so I didn't think about approaching. But when I started walking near her, I noticed she was cuter than I thought. I approached her and said, "Excuse me...I just saw you while I was walking by...and I thought you were cute, so I wanted to come give you a compliment."

She thanked me and I introduced myself. I asked a couple basic questions about what she was up to. I noticed she made a little eye contact with me at first, but mostly broke eye contact to point her head at her screen instead. She had a baseball cap covering her eyes while she was sitting so I couldn't see where she was looking.

I asked if she was in a meeting, and she said no; the impression I got was that she wasn't working on anything time sensitive. So I felt like her lack of eye contact was a sign of disinterest and disengaged soon after. Perhaps I could've persisted a little longer in case she was shy.

Reflection​

I have had some positive results with holding eye contact and paying attention to signals. This naturally forces me to be present and attuned to my surroundings as well. I will continue experimenting with this, although some signals are subtler than I expected.

I have noticed that girls I thought were giving me approach invitations do not always respond in a obviously interested way when I approach. Is this because my judgement is bad? Or because my approach is off? I suspect that there are some subtle differences between an approach invitation and a purely coincidental behavior which I should also look out for.

I have succeeded in being relaxed but I felt like I wasn't injecting much excitement and warmth into my approaches. I should improve my vibe by remembering my mental goals, such as thinking sexually about women and thinking "I want to make her smile".

 

[Zucchini]

07/08/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Make (1) approach.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Look for signs of disinterest from women.

Outing​

Today I went out to eat and decided to do at least one approach while I was out.

Girl #1​

While sitting down at a table within a small plaza, facing out towards the street, I noticed a cute girl walking by down the sidewalk a short distance away. She had looked in my direction as she walked past, and I thought we might've made eye contact. I held it and she broke first after walking further down the sidewalk. However, a few moments later, she came back and walked in my direction instead. I stood up and looked away while walking towards her, not wanting to stare at her as I approached.

"Hello," I said, looking at her when she was near me. "I love your outfit today."

She thanked me shyly, but didn't really look in my direction and kept walking. Was it possible she was just looking at something behind me, rather than giving me an approach invitation?

Perhaps I could've waited and sat instead of walking towards her, or made eye contact while walking towards her. Upon reflection, my behavior may have sent mixed signals. I also could've done a better job of injecting excitement and enthusiasm into my frontal opener. I also forgot to stop and hold up my hand to signal her to stop as well.

Reflection​

I can do a better job with the nonverbals of my frontal openers and also improve the excitement I feel in my openers by using positive mental tactics.

 

[Zucchini]

07/09/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Focus on positive goals when approaching women.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Look for signs of disinterest from women.

Outing​

Today I went out to a cultural festival downtown. Seeing there were plenty of girls here, I decided to do a few approaches.

Girl #1​

I saw a cute girl by herself a few times while I was walking through the festival. I wasn't warmed up and ready to approach yet. After I did warm up a little, I saw her once again. She passed by me, and went to take a picture of a nearby temple. I turned around and decided to approach.

"Excuse me," I said, walking up beside her. She looked at me almost expectantly...had she been waiting for me to approach? "I just saw you walking by, and I thought you had a really stylish outfit. I actually like the way you matched the colors between your pants and your mask...it's a similar shade to your hair too. Great look."

She thanked me, and I introduced myself. Although she seemed friendly, she also seemed a little shy and held her arms across her chest. I started chatted with her and learned she was a volunteer at the festival at a food stand. Since she wasn't super comfortable, I decided to tell her about my own experiences with making cultural foods and carry a little more of the conversation.

I think she relaxed a little and we started talking about other subjects. I learned that she was in high school, so I decided not to flirt too much or close. However I did continue socializing a little bit then said farewell.

Girl #2​

There was a cool drum performance going on in the middle of the street, but I couldn't see it because of a huge crowd. I decided to walk up the steps to a Buddhist temple and view it from above. There were other people already there doing the same thing, and I eventually found myself near a girl taking a recording of the performance.

I noticed her trying to get a better angle of the show, and she moved over right next to me. I hadn't noticed her before, and I didn't know if she was cute. I decided I would wait until the performance finished before approaching, since it was loud and I also didn't want to interrupt her recording.

When the music died down, I looked over. "You recorded all of that?" I asked. It was a long performance.

She confirmed it, telling me it was a whole seven minutes long. I noticed she seemed cute, but she was wearing a mask so I wasn't certain.

"You plan to put it on your instagram story?"

"No, this one is to send to my parents," she said.

We talked more and more. I learned that she came here for something else, but discovered the festival and came to explore, and I related to that spontaneity. There were a lot of topics...the whole time I was touching her on the arm and shoulder to emphasize points.

I remember we talked about culture and where we from, and she showed interest by asking about my background. We talked a little bit about eating healthy and staying fit, which transitioned into talking about dancing.

"Are you a dancer?" I asked.

"How did you know?" she said, surprised.

I actually didn't know, it was just a question. But I went along with it. "Ah, well...I just had a feeling."

Turned out she had been doing ballroom and salsa dancing for years, and was previously a tango instructor. I related my own experience with cultural dances, telling her about my friend who had convinced me to try out Indian bhangra in high school.

Somehow we ended up talking about mindfulness. She mentioned that she came to the temple to ask some questions to the sensei here. I listened and made a cold read that she liked principles like nonattachment because she valued independence and the confidence that she would be fine no matter what happened. She agreed. I wrapped my arm around her, smiled, and said that I knew because I was the same way.

So far she had been giving me strong eye contact, and while listening I focused on thinking sexually about her and staying present. There was a great vibe going on, although I realized we hadn't moved anywhere yet.

I decided to get some compliance and switch topics by complimenting her watch. She held her arm out and I took her hand, telling her about how the gold and black leather were a great combination, but the reason it was so interesting was because the gold went well with her skin tone.

She seemed surprised. "Are you a designer?"

I smiled. "No, I just like fashion."

We talked a little more about something, then I decided to close. "You know, we clearly have a lot to talk about. We have a lot of similarities. Why don't we grab a coffee sometime?"

She hesitated for a moment, then agreed. "Sure!"

I got her number then continued talking briefly before departing. I think I made a few mistakes on my exit. She said "It was nice meeting you..." which I took as a cue to start leaving, but I could've exhibited more leadership by ending on my own terms. I also just walked off, but I could've shown more warmth by looking back and waving as I left.

I looked at the time when I left. I had been talking to her for 25-30 minutes. I probably could've moved us after the first 10 minutes or closed earlier.

Girl #3​

Later in the day, at a coffee shop, I ordered a drink and noticed a cute girl sitting by herself at a table. I grabbed an empty seat at the table next to her and waited a few moments. I noticed her shoes, and after a few seconds, looked over.

I complimented her shoes, telling her they looked a little like cakes and that they were cute. She thanked me, but was wearing a mask so I couldn't see her expression.

"You seem like a stylish person overall...are you into fashion?" I said, looking at her overall outfit now. She seemed to be more comfortable and started acting more nervous and girly with me, so I introduced myself. The servers started calling that my order was ready, and I waved to acknowledge them, but I kept talking to the girl.

I asked what she was up to, and she told me that she was waiting for her boyfriend and her friend. I nodded, switching to social mode, and asking a little about their plans. I mentioned that I was going to a dinner soon, and she asked who I was going with. Her nonverbals and behavior seemed to be showing interest, but she had also mentioned a boyfriend, so I wasn't sure what the right move would've been.

I decided I would not close this time, and told her I had to get going, and said my farewells.

Reflection​

I am doing a better job of staying present and thinking sexually with girls, but I want to continue. It's easier to remember after a few minutes of conversation but I want to harness that vibe during the initial approach.

I could try moving girls sooner if I end up in a longer conversation with them.

Social touch seems to be going well, but maybe I could try escalating to more intimate touches after talking with girls for awhile.

There were a lot of girls in groups of two or more that I didn't approach today. Maybe I could start working on group sets.

 

[Railer]

Her nonverbals and behavior seemed to be showing interest, but she had also mentioned a boyfriend, so I wasn't sure what the right move would've been.

With that one girl that blew my mind, I resorted to taking her Instagram when she mentioned a boyfriend. You just have to hear it and can look it up later. In this case I only pushed "follow" and left it at that. Over the years I learned that seeds sown a long time ago would sometimes sprout years later - as long as you don't kill them. If it's a serious one, just let them have their relationship and check back later.

 

[Zucchini]

07/10/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Focus on positive goals when approaching women.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Look for signs of disinterest from women.

Outing​

Today I went out to meet a friend downtown. I didn't expect to do any approaches today, but it seems that I just can't stop.

Girl #1​

While waiting outside the venue I planned to meet my friend at, I noticed a cute girl standing nearby. I looked around slowly, scanning the streets for sight of my friend. I pointed my body towards her to catch her attention, and occasionally looked directly at her. After a minute, I decided to say hello.

"You handling parking security today?" I asked playfully, since she was standing next to a parked car.

She laughed and said no. I probed by asking what she was up to, and she said she was just waiting. It seemed like she wasn't super open, so I nodded and disengaged. I would look off into the street, but occasionally look over at her. This might've signaled some nonverbal interest to her. I made sure to be deliberate and to hold my gaze.

Later, while waiting, I was looking in a different direction and saw her in my peripheral vision. She scooted over to the side for no apparent reason I could see except to be more visible to me. I took that as an approach invitation, and looked over soon after.

"Are those converse?" I said, gesturing to her shoes. "Those are pretty neat. They're a bit different from normal high tops. The soles are almost like heels."

She laughed and smiled. I looked her over. She was a short distance away from me, so it felt a little awkward to talk from this distance. I took a few steps and held my hand out. "I'm Zucchini, by the way."

I closed half the distance, but held my hand out and waited for her to step forward to cross the other half. She did, and introduced herself. I took that opportunity to compliment her style overall, and she laughed and smiled. She wasn't contributing a lot yet, but her reactions seemed positive.

I talked to her a bit, asking about what she was up to and learning that she was a student. I learned that she had come for a kpop event, but she would be leaving in a few minutes to drive home to another state. She was just waiting for her family to finish up. Logistics would be really tough for a date since she was leaving so soon, so I decided not to close.

We continued chatting for a bit, but soon my friend arrived and I said goodbye.

Reflection​

There was a bit too much distance between me and this girl. Since she was leaving almost immediately, but showed a lot of nonverbal signs of interest, I could've practiced rapid physical escalation. It was a bit awkward to walk over, but I should've used our handshake opportunity to stand closer to this girl. I also could've taken her contact information anyway in case she came back in town or I went to her area.

I had the lingering feeling that, if I had the right frame and confidence, this girl would've been willing to kiss me. I'm not sure why I came to this conclusion. Subconscious signals maybe? The next time I feel this way, I could test my hypothesis.

 

[Zucchini]

07/13/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Focus on positive goals when approaching women.
2. Relax and don't put too much pressure to perform when approaching.
3. Focus on having fun and enhancing your fundamentals with your mood.

Outing​

Today I went out to grab lunch, and saw a couple of opportunities to approach while I was out.

Girl #1​

I was walking across the parking lot when I saw a girl standing by a pillar. I think she looked and stared at me, but I pretended not to notice. I reached the sidewalk near her, but the pillar she was standing by provided a physical barrier between us. I had to start my approach a little earlier, pretending to notice her.

"Excuse me..." I said, "I just saw that you had these really interesting crocs. Are those a leopard print?"

It was a compliment but not exactly a direct opener. I think I could've pulled off my usual opener if I did a double take, stopped, and looked at her for a moment before walking over.

She seemed flattered but her body language was a little closed off and her side was facing me. I was actually facing mostly towards her because of the angle of approach, but I could've used a different angle and turned my side towards her during the approach. I continued by complimenting her overall style, and she seemed to accept it with a little confusion; I realized after I started speaking that her outfit was more casual than it looked from a distance and maybe didn't justify an additional compliment.

"So you're just...hanging out around here today?" I said. I was fumbling on how to continue the conversation. I think a better question would've been something like, "What did you grab for lunch today?"

She told me that she was waiting for her husband. I switched to a more social mode and asked if she knew of a good place to eat around here. She gave me a recommendation, I thanked her, and moved on.

​

Girl #2​

I ordered a drink at a coffee shop when I noticed a girl slip behind me in line. I walked over to wait for my drink, and I may have seen the girl glance at me. I didn't look, pretending not to notice.

She walked over, away from me, to sit at a table. I casually made my way nearby her to continue waiting. She started texting on her phone.

After waiting about half a minute, I walked to her side and got her attention. "Excuse me...I just saw that you had such interesting glasses. They're almost like aviators."

She smiled and started explaining that they were actually special glasses issued by her work. I talked with her and learned about the kind of work she did, which was at an office nearby. I focused on being genuinely curious and present in the moment.

"What about you? Do you work around here?" she asked me after we reached a lull. That was good, she was showing some interest. I told her that I worked from home and hadn't seen the office at all since I started working.

Our orders were called, and we went to get them. I commented on the drink she was having, saying it looked good. I planned to close as we walked out, but she said she was going back to the table. I stopped near the exit, because it felt like chasing to continue walking after her, but decided to do it anyway.

"Hey, I'm going to head out..." I said, "But what you were telling me about your work was really interesting...why don't we grab a coffee sometime?"

She agreed, and I starting working on sending myself a text from her phone. While I was getting her contact information, she started asking about what I did for work. I told her I was an engineer, but I had a thing on the side as a writer too, and my dayjob was to pay the bills.

"That's really cool!" she said. "I like to write too."

I smiled to her and acknowledged her statement. I think this was a case of a girl qualifying herself. Then I got close next to her to show her the phone and asked her to help me with the spelling of her name. Then I touched her on the upper arm and said my farewells.

​

Girl #3​

While walking along the sidewalk, I noticed a girl sitting at a table with a pizza. I looked over and made eye contact. She held it, and I walked over.

"Excuse me..." I said, "That pizza looks really good."

She gave me a blank expression. "Actually, I'm here with my boyfriend."

"Oh no, I was just curious about the pizza," I said, to disarm her since she seemed defensive. Her boyfriend walked over and sat down with another pizza. I had thought she might've been attractive from a distance, but up close I wasn't all that interested.

I decided to engage the boyfriend briefly, making eye contact with her occasionally, to assure them both that I was being social. I got some good pizza recommendations from the guy. The girl apologized to me for misunderstanding.

"Oh, no worries, I realize it might've been a little weird for a guy to just start talking to you," I said.

I probably could've phrased that a little better. I didn't want to frame approaching as weird, but I wanted to assure them that I understood they might've been uncomfortable. Maybe something like "I realize you might've been startled," or something like that would be better.

Then I said my goodbyes and walked off.

Reflection​

Before I was nervous about approaching and rushed my opener, but recently I've been getting more comfortable with the tension and allowed myself to take a little more time. I would like to continue pausing and extending my openers by a little bit (calibrated to the situation), but also work on using that same delivery with my normal opener.

I had worried before about approaching mixed sets because they might be with their boyfriend. Today this happened, and I smoothed it over, but I would like to have a better contingency for handling this situation.

 

[Zucchini]

07/13/22 (Part 2)​

I was heading out to a date, but made an approach literally just before I went.

Girl #4​

As I was about to pull out of the driveway to the date, I noticed a cute girl walk by along the street. I was about to drive to a date with another girl and I didn't have a lot of time...but I thought, fuck it, and exited the car to run after the girl.

I feel embarrassed to describe what happened. First I planned to get within speaking distance and do a back approach, since there weren't a lot of people on the side walk. So I started walking, then decided to jog, but she heard me and looked around and saw me. I walked and wound up next to her, where I then opened as if I had just been walking by. This probably felt awkward because she saw me literally running after her and I should've calibrated to the energy of my approach.

"Your dog is really cute," I said. She smiled and thanked me. We talked for a bit about the dog, and then she asked me if I lived around here. I answered. We continued walking and I complimented her style as if I had just noticed.

"Oh, thanks, but I didn't really think about it today," she said. I teased her about being so fashionable that she didn't even try. We crossed the street and reached a crossroads.

"Why don't we walk and talk this way?" I said.

"Oh, actually, I'm going this way. I'm just following where my dog goes," she said, moving towards a different path from where I wanted to go. This was probably where the interaction should end, but I decided to push my luck.

I started taking a few steps after her. I was physically chasing after her and felt it. "Hey, tell you what...I know we just met...but why don't we grab a coffee sometime?"

"I'm okay," she said over her shoulder as she walked away.

"No problem," I said, and walked away.

Reflection​

I think my approach was incongruent with my opener. I should've went all in on the direct daygame opener and used the genuine energy of just noticing her and wanting to say hello.

I felt self conscious after this approach. Before I had been worried about chasing after women and being blown off when approaching, and today this happened. It felt pretty crappy, and I was worried that everyone in the neighborhood would think of me as that loser who got rejected. That was an irrational fear but it's effects on my confidence were real.

That said, this may have been a good calibrating event. I now have a data point of a bad approach, and can calibrate to do better next time.

Funny benefit: I was nervous and overthinking about the date before, but after I got rejected during this approach I completely sobered up. Not overthinking anymore. I was still nervous in a positive way, because I was excited to meet this girl, but I was less nervous now. So I guess the lesson here is that doing an approach, successful or not, can help you stop overthinking with girls.

 

[Zucchini]

07/13/22 (Part 3 - Date)​

Goals for this date​

1. Focus on being present, relaxed, and like the most confident version of yourself.
2. Think sexually about the woman you are with and infuse your nonverbals with sexual energy.
3. Focus on having a great conversation and having fun. Don't worry about techniques or getting laid. Focus on being comfortable.

Date​

Today I went on my first date from cold approach - girl #2 from 7/9/22. She was super warm and responsive over text, so I scheduled a date to grab a tea and chat in the evening.

She arrived on time in a cute flowery chinese shirt and brown pants. She waved as she approached, and I noticed that she was cute without her mask. I smiled, touched her on the elbow, and gave her a genuine compliment abut her outfit.

I started testing compliance, leading her to enter the tea shop. I noticed she complied quickly with me. After ordering, she reached for her purse at the same time as me, and I let her pay for our drinks.

"I'll get the next one," I said with a smile. I think there's some debate about whether the man should pay, and I'm financially able to pay for everything, but I wanted women to be with me because of my personality rather than my resources.

"Let's sit over there," I said. She agreed and I made sure we both sat on the same side so that we were physically close.

We had a long conversation for about 1 hour. It's hard to transcribe everything so I'll try to list some of the interesting events that happened during that time.

1. I escalated touch. I started with light touch using the back of my hand on her arm. Then I moved onto touching her shoulder and leg with my palm. Then I moved to putting my hand on hers and wrapping my arm around her. I tried to vary my touch and use it intuitively, trusting my instincts.
2. I started the conversation by talking about myself to get the momentum moving, but as she got more comfortable she started talking more on her own. Whenever there was a lull, I would repeat what she said back to her to show active listening. We talked about our work, health and fitness, creative pursuits, mindfulness, dancing and art, music, writing, entrepreneurship, imperfection as a part of life, and emotion vs logic. I let the conversation flow naturally and focused on genuine interest in her.
3. I expressed passion while talking about storytelling and I seemed to catch her interest with the topic because she asked a lot of questions. I related a lot of little stories and anecdotes.
4. I teased her using the push-pull strategy. I would physically lean back and express skepticism, then lean in close and wrap an arm around her if she "passed".
5. I tried out giving a qualifier. I said, "You know what I appreciate about you?...You are artistic and open to all forms of art. You like to dance, write, draw...that's a great quality." She qualified herself again by adding that she also sang.
6. She pointed out that something she noticed when she first met me and during the date was that I seemed very focused during our interaction, and that we were similar because we were both present and mindful. Great feedback on my eye contact and presence.
7. She started touching me on her own, but not a lot. Just a couple times to catch my attention or emphasize a point.
8. I felt a lot of sexual energy within myself while talking to her. I felt myself start getting an erection while looking into her eyes, and I leaned into that feeling and embraced it. My goal was to express that sexual energy with my nonverbals and transfer it to her. However I am not sure if it landed since she was more reserved with her sexuality.
9. I found myself genuinely liking this girl. She passed tests and standards I didn't know I had, and I got more excited as I talked to her. I may have expressed this with my fundamentals.

After an hour, there was a lull in the conversation. I noticed she got quiet and wasn't contributing much. I took that as a sign that I should move us, so I looked outside. After a few moments, I commented that it was beautiful outside. She said she needed to go to the restroom, so I said ok.

I had checked some minor logistics earlier. She had driven here, as had I. It would be awkward for us to go together anywhere with two cars and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I decided I would take her on a walk nearby and take her home on a different date with better logistics. It may have been possible to take her home today, but I wasn't confident in my experience handling that.

When she returned, I said, "Why don't we go outside? My legs are getting a little cramped here."

She agreed and started being more open and conversational again after we went outside. We walked around for about 30 minutes. A few interesting things that happened.

1. She said she needed to grab a jacket, so we walked over to her car and she grabbed one. Maybe I could've been smooth and kept her warm a different way...?
2. She followed my lead whenever I told her to walk in a direction. Compliance seemed pretty good.
3. She walked very close to me so that our shoulders would bump against each other. She occasionally touched me on her own. I continued touching her.
4. Whenever there was an incoming car, I would hold my hand out to stop her, and I would put a hand on her back to lead her when moving.
5. She confided in me opinions that are not looked upon favorably by society. I was nonjudgmental and interested mainly in her reasoning. I told her that if she applied her critical thinking skills, did her research, and came to a conclusion, then I wouldn't fault her even if I disagreed.
6. We had some interesting conversations about food, deserts and baking, emotions, coronavirus, and adventure.
7. I didn't really know the area, nor did she, so I told her we were going on an adventure while leading her.

I wanted to end the date on my terms, so we eventually came to a stop in the parking lot. She suggested we stand somewhere else, so I led her to the sidewalk where it was safer. I told her it was a lot of fun meeting her today, and suggested we meet again. She did this cute girly thing where she bounced up and down, agreeing with me.

I wanted to see if she could meet again this week, but she wasn't certain of her schedule and said next week would be busy, so I told her that we could figure it out later. We could meet this week or the week after next. She said sure, so I gave her a hug and said goodbye.

I wondered if I should've been more romantic and tried to kiss her? The connection and chemistry seemed to be there, but maybe it would ruin the mystery too much.

Reflection​

I did a good job of being present, relaxed, and having a natural conversation. This was one of those dates where my conscious techniques didn't matter so much; it was all about the fundamentals I developed and naturally expressed.

I led her around and touched her frequently. However I could use more lingering touch. I would often do quick touches for 1-2 seconds, but I could try escalating by leaving a hand on her hand or leg.

Although I harnessed sexual energy, it wasn't consistent. I would get distracted by the conversation and lose some focus on sexuality. I could try holding that tension and feeling strong sexual emotions, and then allowing those feelings to leak out through my nonverbals. If I held that tension for awhile, especially while touching, I might be able to escalate. That said, the logistics weren't good this date, so maybe I shouldn't turn her on too much.

I can do a better job of paying attention to her nonverbal signals. I sometimes found myself turning towards her more than she turned towards me, and it felt imbalanced. I should calibrate my nonverbal interest levels to mirror hers.

 

[Railer]

The girl apologized to me for misunderstanding.

Love it xD

She started touching me on her own, but not a lot. Just a couple times to catch my attention or emphasize a point.

This IS a lot. When you get that, you pretty much won.

She did this cute girly thing where she bounced up and down, agreeing with me.

What else is there to wish for?

The connection and chemistry seemed to be there, but maybe it would ruin the mystery too much.

You're free to go She seems worried about making a good impression on you - go take her. Let her know she is!

 

[Zucchini]

07/15/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Focus on positive goals when approaching women.
2. Pay attention to signs of disinterest from women.
3. Slow down your opener and pause while opening.

Outing​

Today I went out in the afternoon and decided to approach a cute girl if I saw one.

Girl #1​

While walking in the park, I noticed a cute girl observing some roses with a notepad in her hand. I thought she might've noticed me, but I wasn't certain. There was a row of roses between us, so I had to walk pass her and then make a U-turn to walk up. Since I was approaching pretty much head-on (she was in a narrow corridor between rose bushes), I decided to open with a little more distance between us to increase comfort.

"Excuse me..." I said.

"Hi!" she answered. Ah, she did notice me before.

"Hi...I just saw you while I was walking by and...I thought you were really pretty...you have a great outfit and I love the color of your hair and...I just wanted to come say hello. I'm Zucchini."

She seemed flattered but shy and a little nervous. I started asking what she was up to today, and she told me she was working on a project to observe the bees pollinating the roses. She told me that she was doing this project with some friends who were also at this same park. We talked about it for a minute, and I was genuinely curious. "Tell me how it works," I said, stepping beside her, "I'll help you out."

Our conversation drifted to where she went for school and her major. I was concerned she might be underage, but fortunately she was a second year college student. She told me that she wanted to be a dentist, and I briefly touched her upper back to exclaim, "Oh, that's cool!"

I noticed her lean back and recoil a little from my touch, so I figured that was a little too much. I should've tried a touch on the arm instead. In the moment I decided to step back and start with getting into closer proximity without touching her.

She shared that she decided on her dream job because her dentist was really pretty and made an impression on her.

"Really?" I said, teasingly. "Why not be a model instead? Aren't they also pretty?"

She explained that it was because her dentist was a doctor, so I cold read that she valued the combination of competence and beauty, and she agreed.

During the conversation she occasionally showed some interest by asking about me. By now I had the feeling I should close soon, confirmed when she said that she saw her friends coming to meet up with her now.

"Alright, well, I don't want to keep you from your friends for too long but..." I paused, looking at her. "Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?"

She seemed hesitant, and asked if she could see my instagram first so she would know I wasn't a serial killer. I thought that was funny so I showed her, although I didn't have any pictures. "Look, I have a whole 14 followers!" I said playfully.

This seemed to relax her a little and she agreed to meet. I got closer next to her so that we could exchange contact information. "If you're worried about being serial killed, we can meet somewhere public, like a Starbucks or something," I said with a smile.

Then she asked how old I was, and I answered. She said she was 20, which wasn't egregiously younger than me, but she may have felt concerned. It was clear to me that I probably wouldn't be pulling this girl until she got much more comfortable with me.

I helped her send me a text with her name. I saw her friends watching us and waiting from my peripheral vision. "Okay, see you, and good luck on your project," I said, waving goodbye.

She didn't respond when I texted her later, and I wonder if it was because her friends saw her talking to me. There were two male friends and one female friend. Them showing up was outside of my control, but maybe I could've tried closing faster if I knew they might potentially cockblock.

Girl #2​

I had grabbed a coffee and started taking a walk when I noticed a girl slow down to wait at a bus stop. I figured I would just be social, so I stopped nearby her.

"Excuse me...those are really interesting shoes," I said, pointing down. My body language was tilted to the side in a slightly exaggerated way.

"Oh, thank you. They're sketchers," she replied.

"Oh, wow, for real? They're a bit of different design than I would expect...they almost look like boat shoes. I just thought they looked really cool and stylish. Thanks."

She smiled, and I sensed that I should probably try continuing this conversation. "I'm Zucchini, by the way."

I took her hand and noticed she held it for a couple seconds. I asked what she was up to today, and she told me she was coming home from work at a school nearby. Then she showed some interest by asking me what I was up to, and I replied that I was taking a midday break from work.

Our conversation continued with a little bit of banter. She asked if I lived/worked nearby several times, and I eventually clarified that I did not work or live nearby. Maybe I should've asked her the same question...I've heard this could be a sign of interest from women, so I could've checked her logistics.

She mentioned there were great cafes nearby, and that she liked cafe hopping. I teased her, asking if that was like bar hopping, also asked for some cafe recommendations. After awhile I felt like it was time to close.

"Anyway, I don't want to keep you for too long. I need to get going so I don't get fired from work," I said with a smile. "Would you like to go cafe hopping sometime? We can grab a coffee and hang out."

She agreed and asked for my instagram. On my attractiveness scale I'd say she was a 6, which was enough to sleep with, but I didn't feel compelled to get her number instead so I agreed. I wasn't very familiar with the instagram app so I asked for her help; I've mostly stayed away from too much social media.

Then I said my farewells. I hadn't intended to get this girl's contact information, but I kept getting the feeling that there was opportunity here, so I kept moving forward.

Reflection​

Surprisingly I was 2/2 on number closes today. Did something change about my approach? Could just be luck...or I've gotten better about picking my targets. Anyways, I think I can work on more of a "raw close" by showing some more sincerity and realistic nervousness.

I can also use a suggestion or command instead of an ask for my close. Instead of saying, "Would you like to ____", I can be more assertive by saying, "Let's do ____" or "We should do ___", calibrating to the interest level of the girl.

I think slowing down my opener was good. I should work on using more pauses when I open. With the second girl I think I could have expressed more interest by giving a direct compliment. Something like, "You know what? You're actually very stylish overall, because ___," since I had opened by just commenting on her shoes.

There's clearly something about my approaches that I need to troubleshoot, because most of the numbers I get don't respond. I should be on the lookout and continue experimenting to try and figure it out.

 

[Zucchini]

07/15/22​

Goals for this outing​

1. Deliver your opener with positive emotion.
2. Pay attention to signs of disinterest from women.
3. Slow down your opener and pause while opening.

Outing​

Today I went out to the mall to practice approaching. It was pretty tiring, and I'm a little beat, so I'll try to cut down on the length of these descriptions.

Girl #1​

I passed by a cute girl, so I turned around and followed. I approached from the side, and opened direct. "Excuse me...hi...I know this is kind of random...I was just walking by and saw you over here and...I thought you had a really amazing outfit...and I wanted to come say hello. I'm Zucchini."

She seemed to respond well to the opener, but told me she had a boyfriend. I said no problem and moved on.

Girl #2​

I approached a girl standing at a crosswalk. I walked up to the side and said, "Excuse me..." but she shook her head as I approached. She wasn't cute enough for me to persist too hard, so I transitioned to saying, "I just thought your glasses were really stylish...where did you get them?" She told me, then I thanked her and said my farewells.

Girl #3​

I saw a really pretty blonde girl walking around earlier, but got approach anxiety because she was in an inconvenient position and didn't approach. Later I noticed her walk right past me on the side walk, so I took my second chance. It took me a little while to work up the courage but I jogged up to her side.

"Excuse me..." I said as we both stopped. "I know this is a bit random...I was just saw you walking by...and I thought you had an amazing style...the fit is really great and the color goes really well with the platinum blonde...and I wanted to come meet you. I'm Zucchini."

She was very flattered, but started walking away, saying she had to go home. I asked if she was in a rush, and she agreed. As she took a step away, I suggested, "Well, tell you what...since you're in a rush, maybe we could talk some other time?"

"Yeah, maybe!" she agreed and walked away. I took that as a no but maybe I could've persisted, or suggested we get coffee instead of the vague thing I said.

Girl #4​

I was in the food court when I notice this pretty latina girl sitting at a bench on her phone. I approached her, and she seemed receptive and friendly right away. I noticed up close that this girl was gorgeous, with a great body and pearly white teeth. We talked for a bit, and I spend the first minute talking with her about her outfit and the things that made it stylish. I then complimented her, saying that she was so knowledgeable about fashion. I wonder if I may have overcomplimented her here...

We continued talking, and she shared that she worked in sales. She asked if I worked at the mall, which may have been a sign of interest. We talked for a bit more but I notice her sling on her purse, so I decided to close.

"Well, tell you what, I'm actually waiting for some food...which seems to be ready now," I said, turning to look away briefly, "But I had a great time talking with you. We should grab a coffee sometime."

She agreed, and we talked a little bit more before I asked for her contact information. I asked if a text was okay, but she said she preferred instagram because she liked to learn a little about a person first. I said it was no problem and I understood, so I showed her my instagram, but warned that I didn't have much information on it.

I think next time I would prefer to say that I don't use social media and try to get her number instead. I also was a bit shy about touch...I would make a movement like I was about to touch her, but seemed to subconsciously stop short. She was responding warmly so I should try touching more confidently next time.

Girl #5​

I saw a cute girl in the mall and followed her for a bit into a store. I didn't find a chance to approach in the store, but she soon left to stand outside and look at her phone. I left the store, walked up to her, and caught her attention. "Excuse me...hi...I know this is a bit random...I just saw you over here, and I thought you looked really cute, so I wanted to come meet you. I'm Zucchini."

We talked for a bit about what we were doing today. I had good vibes and told her I was having a great day when she asked me. Soon after she said, "It was nice meeting you!" and I suggested we get a coffee sometime, but she answered "No thank you." I said no problem and bid my farewells.

Girl #6​

I saw a girl standing outside a restaurant and thought we might've made eye contact. She was looking away, and as I shifted direction to walk towards her I noticed her also change the direction she was facing. First it was towards me, then she turned away from me. When I walked up and waved to catch her attention, saying "Excuse me...", she looked away and totally ignored me.

I had to curve around her to get through, so I after a beat I said, "Have a nice day" and moved on. Maybe this girl was actually waiting for a date.

Girl #7​

Outside the mall, I was walking along the sidewalk when I notice a cute girl walk past me. I turned around and jogged up to her, delivering a direct compliment opener on her dress. She is flattered but starts moving away. I ask if she's in a rush, and she says that she's going to meet someone, so I let her go. Did I catch her on the way to a date?

Girl #8​

While grabbing a meal in a restaurant, I notice a cute girl sitting by herself. I sit down at the table next to hers. I slow open after a few seconds, asking about her salad. She seems friendly and tells me about it, and we have a short conversation about the food at the restaurant and how her meal is pretty healthy.

The conversation lulled and I turned away, deciding to reopen her soon. After a minute she finishes and stands up. "Finished up?" I asked, "How was the food?"

She tells me and asks what I ordered. I tell her and also introduce myself. We exchange a couple lines then she starts to walk away.

"Actually," I say, stopping her. "You're really cute. I know this is a bit random, and you're heading off, but...we should grab a coffee sometime."

She apologized, saying that she had a boyfriend but was very flattered. I said, "No problem. Have a nice day," and let her go.

Girl? #9​

I saw a potentially cute girl with an unusually straight torso walking by in a cute outfit, so I run up to do a side approach. "Excuse me..." I said, "You have an amazing outfit!"

I took a look at this person, and realized all of a sudden that this was probably a trans woman based on their face, hence the lack of hips. I decide to transition to being social and just ask her about where she got the outfit, then quickly disengaging.

Girl #10​

I approached a cute girl walking by, jogging up to her side. "Excuse me...I know this is a bit random but...I just saw you walking by and I thought you were really cute...I just love this dress and...I wanted to come say hi."

"Hi!" she answers. I introduce myself, and then we start talking. I try to get some closer proximity. She tells me that she is in town for just a couple days, and that she's on a college trip. After a couple minutes, say starts walking away, saying that she needs to go.

"Okay, tell you what...why don't we exchange contact information?" I suggest, intending to grab her details for the future.

She told me no, so I answered, "No problem...enjoy your trip."

Reflection​

I did a good job of pausing during my direct openers and saying the whole thing. I also tried to open raw by feeling and expressing the raw excitement and slight nervousness of a genuine compliment.

I didn't pay much attention to my proximity or eye contact today during the opener. I could try observing those.

I failed to approach a lot of girls today. Each time I got rejected I felt a little down and had to muster up my courage again. I got rejected a lot so I missed quite a few approaches.

Mid-outing I felt sleepy, thirsty, and physically weak. I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten enough recently, so I had to take a quick food break, and missed some girls because I couldn't muster the energy. I should do a better job of keeping myself energized before going out to approach.

I've had a few girls walk away on their own after talking for a bit, so there seems to be something wrong with my conversation following the opener. I should try troubleshooting this. It's also possible they just weren't interested...but I should try to improve everything I can.

I feel a little disappointed that I got so many rejections and fumbled with the one girl who gave me her contact info. I felt like I was never going to get good at daygame and that maybe I was a lost cause. These thoughts were funny to me because a lot of beginners say the same thing and are wrong, but these thoughts sure as hell feel correct when it's happening to me. I need to be persistent and continue troubleshooting.

 

[Zucchini]

07/28/22​

Journal​

Not really a field report today, just wanted to get some journaling done. Recently I've been taking a hard look at my approach and really trying to figure out how to improve my results. A few things I've observed that seem to improve my approach:

• Take my time with the opener
• Strong eye contact
• Embody a more sexual vibe
• Leaning back and having more relaxed body language
• Complimenting girls on having positive traits I like

Some of these I've done on accident and happened to get good results. I've been a bit lazy about writing field reports but I've still been approaching regularly and observing these things.

Speaking of approaching, I've had some trouble with approach anxiety again. It feels like I'm back to square one, doubting my desirability and failing to approach women. This week I've taken on AA once again with the goal of approaching even when there is no perfect moment. As soon as I decide I want to approach a girl, I should approach her.

Despite feeling like I'm back to the beginning, I see a difference in my attitude. Although I still struggle to approach, I am able to remain calm and collected when I start talking to a girl. I still retain the skills I've learned. I just need to let go of the insecurities and doubts I've accumulated from being rejected so many times and start approaching with a fresh mindset once again.